by Olivia Evans
Aubrey stumbled, her hands shooting out behind her just before her back collided with her front door. She stared at him with wide eyes, her mouth open in shock before the heat of embarrassment and anger washed over her. “What the fuck is right! What’s your problem, Anders? When have you ever turned down anyone? You sure as hell didn’t turn away that bitch this weekend. Is it me? Or do you have a piece on the side that you’re not being truthful about?”
“I don’t have anyone on the side. What the fuck do I look like?” Anders shoved his hand into his hair and gripped it tightly. Anger burned in his chest, both from Aubrey’s unknown dismissive comment about Josie and the fact that he was failing at pretending to be unattached.
Aubrey shook her head and pushed off her door. “Then what’s your deal? Because you had no problem fucking me in your trailer during auditions. Now you can’t even touch me? No. Something isn’t right.”
“Because I don’t do repeats. Everyone knows this. And if I did, what’s the fun in fucking someone who’s spread eagle and waiting the moment I walk in the door?” Anders’ words might as well have been a physical blow with the force with which they hit Aubrey.
“That’s the most ridiculous rule I’ve ever heard. Why turn down sex you know will be amazing?” Aubrey’s brow arched in disbelief. “And are you telling me those girls you hook up with make you work for it? I don’t think so.”
Anders had, yet again, backed himself into a corner. He was sick of it. He only had to deal with this situation for a handful of weeks. Once filming wrapped, he could tell them all to go to hell.
Anders stepped closer to Aubrey and traced her jaw with his finger. Leaning down, his lips brushed her ear when he spoke. “Maybe I like watching you squirm. Maybe I want you so worked up that when I do touch you again, I’ll have you a panting mess within seconds.”
Aubrey pulled in a shaky breath as her eyes drifted shut. “I don’t think it would take much now.”
Anders smirked and stepped back triumphantly. He raked his eyes over her body before meeting her gaze. “I don’t suppose it would, but I think I can do better.”
Aubrey shifted, and it wasn’t hard to miss the way her thighs clenched. Her eyes were heavy and her lips parted as she tried to work through the fog in her brain to make sense of what he was saying.
“I don’t know that you can.”
Anders tsked and dipped his chin, staring at the place she wanted him most. “Why don’t you go ahead and take care of that. Although, we both know it won’t come close to comparing.” Anders spun on his heel and walked to the car, unaware of the camera capturing every second of his encounter with Aubrey.
As soon as the door closed and the show was over, his façade dropped. He lowered his face into his hands and growled in frustration. He wasn’t accustomed to talking women out of sleeping with him.
“Goddamn it,” he exhaled. He needed to call Josie, but something akin to guilt twisted in his gut and made him pause. He didn’t mean a word he’d said to Aubrey, but that didn’t make him feel any better. Pulling out his phone, he sent Josie a text. It was a cowardly move, but he couldn’t deal with another argument tonight.
The next morning, Josie was greeted by the sight of Anders kicked back in Craig’s chair. Her back straightened and her chin lifted on its own accord as she watched him appraise her. He appeared calm and relaxed, but she was certain it was an act.
“Hey.” His mouth curved up on one side as he dropped his feet from her desk and leaned forward.
“What are you doing in here?”
“I overheard Marcus and Craig talking yesterday, something about Craig going to San Diego for a couple of days. I took a chance that you’d be here. Now, let’s try this again.” He smiled. “Hey, Ivy.”
She shook her head. “Hi.”
“You look nice.”
Josie quirked her brow and dropped her purse on top of the desk. “Are we having small talk this morning?”
Anders huffed out a laugh and stood. “I’m just trying to gauge what kind of mood you’re in―if I should kiss you or cover my dick.”
“You should have brought coffee. That’s always the best way to start a conversation with me first thing in the morning.” She looked down at her watch and frowned, her brows pulling together in confusion. “Why are you here so early? You have an hour before you’re even due in makeup.”
“I came to see you.” He moved around the desk, his eyes darting over her shoulder to make sure no one was in the outer room before leaning down to kiss her.
“You mean you wanted to see if I was pissed, and if so, give yourself enough time to convince me not to be.”
Anders slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her against him. He locked his fingers at the small of her back and smiled. “More or less.”
Josie’s chest tightened and hurt tugged at her middle. She’d spent half the night trying to figure out what to do about her and Anders. It didn’t matter that his date with Aubrey was all for show. All that mattered was how he’d made her feel when she got his text. She felt pushed to the side and unimportant. If there was any possibility of making things work, it couldn’t happen again.
“Don’t do that.”
Anders tightened his grip and frowned. “Don’t do what?”
“Don’t joke. Don’t make light of the situation. You blew me off last night―”
“No, I didn’t,” he interrupted, his tone adamant.
“Yes. You did. Why didn’t you tell them no? Why didn’t you tell them you had plans?”
“Because I agreed to do this, it would have been suspicious if I said no.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I call bullshit. It would’ve only been suspicious to you. If you had been an asshole, told them you didn’t do shit for anyone at the last minute, it would have been normal. But you chose to do what they asked because you’re terrified of them finding out about us. And that’s bullshit. Not to mention unfair to me.”
Anders opened and closed his mouth. She was right. The only reason he let them push him around was because of his paranoia. Unless he nipped that in the bud, Josie was going to walk.
“Fuck,” he exhaled, his eyes falling shut in defeat. “You’re right.”
Josie’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow. I should have some kind of smart-ass comeback, but I’m too shocked to come up with anything witty.”
Anders dropped his hands to her ass and squeezed. “I think you did just fine.”
Josie cupped his jaw and tilted his head down, her expression serious. “Don’t do that again. Don’t blow me off. I won’t play second to your fake girlfriend.”
“You’re not―”
“Last night I was. I won’t do it again. Do you understand me?”
“Are you giving me an ultimatum?”
Josie huffed out a laugh, her expression colored with disbelief. “If expecting you to consider my feelings over Aubrey’s is what you consider an ultimatum, then yes. And fuck you for making it sound like what I’m asking for is too much.”
Josie stepped out of his grasp and moved around the side of the desk. She pulled in a deep breath and fought the heat of anger rising to the surface of her skin. She wasn’t asking for an announcement to the world that they were together.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”
“You can’t use that as an excuse for everything. You can’t brush every argument off by saying, ‘Sorry, Ivy, I’m an asshole.’ Why are you such an asshole? What happened to make you like this?”
“Nothing happened to me. This is who I am. You knew that going in.”
“And I didn’t want anything to do with you! But you kept pushing and pushing and pushing. And damn it, I’m here. With you. So give me something, Anders. Help me understand. I’m tired of standing on the outside. Let me in or let me go.”
Anders’ jaw ticked as they stared at each other. He wanted to distract her, shift the focus of the conversation,
but the stubborn set of her shoulders and the fire burning in her eyes showed she wouldn’t be put off again.
The funny thing was, he did trust her to not tell his secrets. He wasn’t sure when that had happened, but it had. What he didn’t trust was how vulnerable it would make him or what she would do with that information once he messed everything up and they went their separate ways.
Josie’s shoulders slumped as she continued to stare at his stoic and unyielding expression. “Just forget it. I’m not going to force you to share things that you should want to. This is ridiculous.”
“Damn it. Just stop, okay? Christ.” Anders raked his hands through his hair.
“No. I won’t stop. I won’t stand here while you come up with a way to get out of telling me anything that gives any sort of insight into the person you are. Right now, we’re no more than fuck buddies. But we don’t even have the ease of that because we are constantly fighting. Why are we doing this?”
“Because I fucking care about you,” he spat, his anger rising at being forced to admit feelings he didn’t understand or want.
“And I care about you! But it’s not enough. It’s not enough to care about each other if you’re going to continue to hold me at arm’s length.”
“I’m trying, okay?”
“Liar. The only thing you’re trying to do is control everything about our relationship.”
“You didn’t tell your brother about me! It doesn’t seem like you’re trying very hard yourself.”
“Oh, don’t be a hypocrite. I haven’t told Holden about us because I have no idea how to explain any of this. What am I to you? I’m tired of second-guessing myself. I hate this.” The breath stuttered in her chest, and her eyes burned with unshed tears of anger and frustration.
Anders’ entire body tensed at the look on her face and the defeat in her voice. It set him on edge and caused fear to burn through his veins. Before he could stop himself, he rounded the corner of the desk and pulled her roughly against his chest. Winding his hands in her hair, he tilted her face until their eyes locked. “You want to know what you are to me?” he asked through gritted teeth. “You’re mine. That’s what.”
The force of his kiss made her grip his shoulders to stop her knees from buckling. His lips were punishing and desperate as he claimed her mouth. His grip tightened, his fingers flexing and pulling her closer, demanding and hungry.
Josie moaned in pleasure and pain, frustration and relief. She gripped him as tightly as he held her, both of them trying to pull their bodies closer, battling to consume and be consumed. Panting, they pulled apart, their eyes locked.
The sound of voices outside the door caused Josie to start. Jerking away from Anders, she smoothed her hair. He reached for her, his brows drawn together in confusion until he heard voices as well. He took several steps back and scrubbed his hands over his face.
Josie lifted a shaky hand and pressed her fingers against her kiss-swollen lips. “You should go.”
“Will you do me a favor?” Anders shook his head when Josie’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “It’s nothing big, just…don’t look at the pictures of last night. I’m not trying to hide anything. I just―can you come over tonight? We’ll look at them together. And we’ll talk. Okay?”
Josie studied him for a long moment before nodding. For some reason she liked the idea of him being with her. Plus he’d be close enough to hit if the situation arose. “Okay.”
Anders walked out of the office then ducked back in, his lips curved into a mischievous smile. “You should pack an overnight bag. I’m not letting you leave tonight.”
When Anders pulled into his driveway later that evening, Josie was already there. The familiar mix of excitement and dread that had plagued him throughout the day washed over him once more. A normal person would be afraid of the unknown, of what the future held, but Anders’ reactions were far beyond those of a normal person. He was guarded and selfish. Instead of wondering what she was doing, his knee-jerk reaction―his first thought―was how to get his key back without pissing her off. With each step they took, their relationship became more real and pulled him a little further from his comfort zone.
Walking through the front door, Anders tossed his keys on the entry table. He pulled off his shoes and pushed them against the wall next to Josie’s. The sight of her things lying around caused his breaths to come in short choppy pants. He blinked several times to clear his vision.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he walked toward the sound of the television.
He leaned against the doorway and watched Josie. She bobbed her head and mouthed the words to whatever song played on her iPod. With her eyes glued to her sketchpad, her hand flew over the paper. The house seemed different, fuller. He walked to the back of the couch and tugged out one of her earbuds, causing her to jump.
“Shit! You scared me.”
“Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be here already.” He didn’t mean for his words to sound as harsh as they did, but his conflicting emotions made it impossible to hide the edge in his voice.
Josie dropped her eyes and closed her sketchpad. “Oh. Sorry. I thought you’d be here. You didn’t give a time. I should have called you first.”
Anders moved around the couch and sat beside her. He didn’t want to make her feel bad. “It’s fine. I’ve just had a long day and a lot of unwanted attention. I’d say I’m an asshole, but I think we covered that part of my personality earlier.”
Josie leaned into his side when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry, I’m still too hung up on the part where you called the attention you were getting unwanted to comment on the asshole part. When has attention ever been unwanted by you?”
“Oh, the things I want to do to that smart-ass mouth of yours.”
“Promises, promises,” she quipped, pinching his thigh.
He grabbed for her hand and held it in the air so she couldn’t assault him again. “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“Come on, let’s see what I have.”
After heating up the food Josie had left the night before, they settled back on the couch with their plates. Josie sipped from her glass of wine as Anders grabbed a coaster for his beer. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Anders couldn’t stand the cloud hanging over his head any longer. He wanted to show her the pictures and talk about them so they could act normal again. Well, normal for them. Which meant they’d bicker before he threw her down on the bed and exhausted the fight out of them both.
Without speaking, he left the room and grabbed his laptop. He walked back into the room, determination etched in his features. “I need you to not flip out. I have no idea what we’re going to see or how they’ve spun it. Just listen to me. Okay?”
“The bigger deal you make of this, the more nervous I get. Let’s get it over with already.” Josie pulled her knees into her chest and leaned against the corner of the couch. She didn’t understand why he was acting so weird, but it only made her more uncomfortable.
Anders wasn’t worried about what the pictures would show. They were harmless. What he worried about was how Josie would react to them. It was why he wanted to be there when she looked.
As soon as he clicked the first link, he groaned and let his head fall against the couch. It was a picture of Aubrey stroking his face as they stared at one another. Her expression was etched with concern and Anders appeared ready to murder someone. The caption made him want to vomit.
“Distraught by the onslaught of paparazzi, Anders Ellis seeks comfort from girlfriend Aubrey Nash.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Anders spat, his face twisted in disgust. He shifted his eyes to Josie, who stared at the screen, her face stoic. “Hey, look at me.” When she didn’t respond, he set the computer on the coffee table and leaned over her. Caging her with his arms, he lowered his head until they were eye level. “Ivy. Remember what I said?”
She lifted her eyes, the sheen of angry tears c
ausing her vision to blur. “This fucking sucks, okay? I hate this.” She swiped angrily at her cheeks and averted her gaze.
“It does. I don’t like this any more than you do. I get that I fucked up by going last night and not giving us time to deal with this. But I’m trying. I’m fucking trying.”
“I know you are, which only makes it worse.”
“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned back until his back was flat on the couch and she was lying on top of him. “We were walking into the restaurant, and I heard someone who shouldn’t be anywhere near me, and it set me off. Aubrey noticed and asked if I was okay. That’s all.”
“Who was it?”
Anders shook his head. “Just some bastard from my past. I was probably wrong anyway. It was so fucking loud.”
Josie played with the button of his shirt, her eyes focused on her hand as she tried to pull herself together. The surge of jealousy that shot through her was unexpected. She’d never been the jealous type. She’d never been any type until Anders. He made her feel everything. “Let’s just finish, okay?”
“God, yes. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing with you.” He kissed her once before she slid off him and settled into his side, closer this time.
They browsed a couple of different sites, each claiming insider knowledge about the new “it” couple. The more pictures they looked at and the more Anders explained, the more relaxed Josie became. The third glass of wine in her hand helped too.
“What were you doing here? You look like you were chastising her.”
Anders chuckled at the picture. “You picked up on that? You didn’t think―what did that onlooker say? Oh, I remember. ‘Their teasing and playful stares were insanely hot.’”
Josie pointed at the screen and tapped it twice. “That’s not teasing and playful. I’m familiar with those expressions.”
Anders threw his laptop on the table with a little more force than he intended. Before Josie could react, he pounced. She squealed when the room tipped and she was suddenly on her back. He lowered his mouth to her ear and bit down. “Yes, you are.” He flexed his hips as she wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed.