“We’re a team,” Higgsy murmured. “I mean, we could be. We work together. That sort of makes us a team, doesn’t it?”
Cal shook his head. “No. I mean, kind of, I guess. I mean…” His voice tailed off. He looked across the faces of his three colleagues, then pulled himself up to his full height. “No. Wait a minute, wait a minute. We’re not a team,” he said.
Higgsy looked down heartened, but then Cal held out a fist. “We’re a space team.”
Jork frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Are you holding something?” asked Alan, eyeing the fist suspiciously.
“Yay! We’re a team!” said Higgsy, punching the air.
“I never agreed to that,” said Alan. “I never agreed to nothing.”
Jork crossed his arms. “I’m not completely against the idea. I’d just… I’d like a little more information, that’s all.”
“Jesus, guys, I can’t believe you’re leaving me hanging here,” said Cal. “Just tap my fist with your fist.”
“But why would…?”
“Just do it. Tap my fist with your fist,” Cal urged. “Come on. Just do it.”
Higgsy was first to bump fists. Jork and Alan both shrugged, then reluctantly bumped fists with Cal, too.
Cal grinned and lowered his hand. “There. Now you just swore absolute loyalty and devotion to everyone else in the team.”
“What?” Alan spluttered. “Wait a minute—”
“Too late, Alan. It’s too late,” said Cal, holding up his hands. “Legally binding. It’s just the way it is. You should have read the small print. My hands are tied.”
He kept talking, saying similar things until he was sure Alan had given up trying to interrupt. “OK, Space Team… Maybe Space Team 2, I haven’t decided yet. Whatever, we’re going to get off this shizzhole of a planet, and we’re going to have ourselves some adventures! Jort, you’re going to see those stars!”
“Jork. Not Jort,” said Jork.
“Ha!” said Cal. “Check us out, already bantering. This is great.”
“Uh, I don’t know…” said Higgsy, suddenly looking more worried than Cal had ever seen him, which was saying something.
Cal put his arm around Higgsy’s ample shoulders. “Hey, relax buddy. We can do this. Relax. So Loren has gone, Mech and Miz are off doing whatever they’re doing, so what? We don’t need them.”
“We have no idea who those people are,” said Jork.
Cal laughed. “That’s the spirit! You know what? I think getting stuck here is going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. To any of us.”
He pulled Higgsy closer and kissed him on his lumpy bald head. “All we have to do is get ourselves a ship,” he said. His grin widened. “And I know just where we’re going to find one!”
It was round about then that Cal saw the image on the little TV. It showed a sight that was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time – the destruction of the moon of Pikkish. It was familiar because he’d been there to see it destroyed, first-hand, but unfamiliar because the way it was being shown on screen wasn’t how it had happened.
Jork spat on the floor. “The Symmorium,” he said. “How could they do something like that? To one of their own planets!”
“They didn’t,” said Cal, absent-mindedly. He watched the footage for a few more seconds, then stretched up and clicked the TV off. “That’s not what happened.”
“What are you talking about?” demanded Alan. “You saw the footage. It was right there.”
Cal shook his head. “It’s fake. Zertex blew that place to pieces, not the Symmorium. The whole thing is a setup, because they want to go to war.”
Higgsy shook his head, making his saggy face flap around. “No. They wouldn’t. Why would they want war? No-one wants war.”
Cal shrugged. “No-one involved in the fighting part wants a war, generally-speaking,” he agreed. “But go high enough, and you’ll always find someone itching to start a fight. Sinclair wants this, for whatever reason. He wants to wipe the Symmorium out.”
Alan tutted. “Oh yeah? And how would you possibly know that?”
“He used my ship to blow that moon up,” Cal said. He puffed out his chest. “I’m kind of his arch nemesis.”
The others looked at each other, then burst into fits of laughter.
“Right,” said Jork.
“Sure you are,” added Alan.
“Good one,” Higgsy sniggered.
Cal waited until they’d stopped laughing, before continuing. “Fine. I’ll prove it to you. We’ll get off this planet, then you’ll see for yourself,” he said. “But first, we have to get ourselves that ship.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Loren awoke suddenly. This was partly because the drug she’d been injected with had worn off, but mostly because a high-pressure hose had been turned on, and was currently blasting her in the face with icy-cold water.
She gasped and gagged, choking on the torrent, unable to turn her head away. Her arms were spread horizontally, fastened to the wall behind her by the wrists. Her legs were similarly shackled, her ankles far apart so her limbs and head formed a sort of star shape on the wall.
The spray continued, finding its way into her mouth and down her throat. Panic flooded her even faster than the water, so she wasn’t sure which one would drown her first.
And then, as quickly as it had started, the flow stopped. Loren wheezed and coughed up half a lung’s worth of the ice-cold liquid. The water blurred her eyes, and she had to blink for several seconds before it cleared enough to let her see her surroundings.
She was in a Zertex cell. From the position of the cell’s single air vent, she knew it was a Zertex Command station, rather than a ship. The stations’ holding cells were all identical, so she couldn’t tell which one she was on. Logically, Zertex Command Six had been closest to where she’d been taken from, so if she’d been a betting woman, that’s where she’d have put her money.
A figure moved at the corner of her vision. She tried to turn her head to look, but it was gripped too firmly and she only succeeded in straining her neck.
“Dash?”
“Ah, I’m afraid not,” smarmed an all-too-familiar voice.
President Sinclair stepped into view, smiling warmly. “We felt your brother wasn’t perhaps best suited for this particular part of proceedings,” Sinclair told her, stepping closer. “You know, family loyalty, or whatever. Although, to be fair to him, he hasn’t exactly demonstrated much in the way of loyalty to you so far, has he?”
Loren said nothing. She tensed as the president ran a finger across her face, wiping away some of the water. He studied it on his fingertip for a moment, then rubbed the glistening dampness away with his thumb.
“Oh, Gunso Loren,” he said, smiling sadly. “I had such high hopes for you, you know? You were the best pilot in your graduating class.” He gave a little chuckle. “Once I had your scores altered, at least. Prior to that?” He winced. “Well, let’s just say your career might not have got off the ground. In fact, it would probably have crashed into it!”
He laughed at his own joke, then stepped back. “And yet, I saw potential in you. I saw a spark of something promising.” His smile fell away. “And how did you repay me? By turning against me.”
“You set us up,” Loren began. Sinclair took several quick paces back, and a spray of water hit Loren in the face again, catching her by surprise.
Sinclair watched her gag and splutter for almost a full minute, before waving a hand. “Enough.”
Loren’s lungs screamed at her in protest. She tried to swallow down enough air to satisfy them, but her throat felt like a bubble was blocking it, preventing the oxygen getting through. Sinclair tucked his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels, waiting for her to recover.
“It isn’t your time to talk now,” he told her. “It’s my turn.”
He stepped closer again and ran a hand over her soaking-wet hair. She flinched, but the head rest
raint stopped her going anywhere. “Shh,” he whispered. “Shh, it’s OK. Relax. I’m not going to hurt you. Well, not yet, anyway. You think you’re important in all this, but you aren’t. Not really. You’re nothing. I don’t want you.”
He caught her hair and tugged it sharply, making her hiss. “I want Carver. And you’re going to help me get him.”
Loren gathered up all the excess moisture in her mouth – which was a lot, given she’d recently been blasted twice in the face with a power hose – and spat it into the president’s face.
Sinclair froze for what felt like quite a long time. Loren was just starting to wonder if she’d somehow broken him, when his expression darkened. He produced a handkerchief from a pocket and wiped his face.
“Change of plan,” he said. He tapped her on the nose and made a little boop sound. “I am going to hurt you, after all. And, once I’ve done that, then you’ll help me get Carver.”
His smile became a threatening leer. “One way or another. Oh, and you know what I said earlier? About your brother not having what it took to stay here to watch?” He beckoned to the hose bearer. Loren gritted her teeth as Dash stepped smartly into view. “That wasn’t actually true.”
“Dash?” Loren mumbled, but there was barely a flicker of recognition on his face, let alone anything resembling empathy.
The president slipped an arm around Dash’s shoulders. “Loyalty, Teela. It’s important. Your brother has it.” His voice became an ominous whisper. “And now, allow me to show you what we do to those who don’t.”
* * *
Cal, Higgsy, Jork and Alan trudged along the sidewalk, keeping pace with the rest of the packed crowds. Cal’s whole body ached, partly from the full day’s manual labor, but mostly from the beating Nana Joan had given him when he’d tried to leave early. For an old woman, she knew how to deliver a mean full nelson.
And, to Cal’s lingering regret, an even meaner kick to the balls.
When the restaurant had finally closed and they’d been allowed to leave, Cal had taken a lingering look around the place. They were leaving it in exactly the same state they’d found it earlier – trash everywhere, soda waterfalls trickling over table edges, discarded food trodden into the floor. Cal had known, in that moment, that he was never, ever going back.
Night had fallen over the city, and the clouds above were illuminated by the blue glow of the platforms further above still. It cast a pale luster across everything, trapping the entire city in a sort of perma-dusk from which it could never escape.
Cal looked up at the glowing blue puffballs, but it made everything from his neck to the bottom of his spine ache, so he stopped quite quickly.
“I need a drink,” he said. “Are there any bars around here?”
“A few,” said Jork. “But we don’t have any money.”
Cal waved a hand dismissively. “Ah, that doesn’t matter. We’ll find some rich older women and Higgsy can charm drinks out of them.”
“What?!” Higgsy spluttered. “N-no, I don’t think… I’m not sure…”
Cal winked at him. “I’m going to teach you everything I know. Trust me. You’re going to be a natural. I mean, who wouldn’t be charmed by someone who can absorb their own body weight in kitchenware?”
Higgsy still looked terrified, but managed a sheepish smile. “Not just kitchenware. I can absorb most things. And not just my own body weight, either. More like… eight times.”
“There you go!” said Cal. “Who in their right mind could resist that? You’ll have them eating out of your hand.” His eyes flicked down. “Your massive, gelatinous hand.”
“Well, I mean, I guess it might be nice,” said Jork. “Going to a bar, I mean.”
“OK, I’m in,” said Alan. “But if anyone tries to mess with me, I’m just saying, I will fonk their shizz up. Just saying.”
“Why would anyone try to mess with you?” asked Higgsy. He shot Cal a panicked look. “Will someone try to mess with us?”
“No, relax. Don’t worry. No-one is going to be messing with anyone. We’re just going to find a bar, have a few drinks, and, you know, plan our escape.”
Higgsy groaned. Cal patted him on the back. It made his neck ripple. “It’s going to be fine. When have I ever let you down before?”
“We’ve known you less than a day,” Higgsy said.
“Exactly! I haven’t let you down for as long as you’ve known me,” Cal said. He grinned. “Everything is going to be just fine. Now, someone please find us a bar!”
* * *
Ten minutes of lane-changing through the crowds later, Cal and his co-workers wandered along a street that was far less frantic, but several times more menacing than the ones they’d left. There were still lots of people here, but they were hanging around in groups, or lurking in doorways, rather than bustling along from A to B. The mobs of people elsewhere in the city hadn’t looked particularly friendly, but they hadn’t looked especially unfriendly, either. This lot, though, had ‘enemies-in-waiting’ written all over them.
Cal strutted past a group of leather-clad biker-types and tipped an imaginary hat to them. “Gentlemen,” he said. Their ears pricked up and they grunted gutturally, but they didn’t make any move to intercept.
“I d-don’t like this,” said Higgsy. “This feels dangerous.”
“Stop being such a coward,” Jork hissed, then his head whipped around and he screamed when a figure stepped from the shadows of a doorway.
“Looking for a freaky time, boys?” asked the woman – if, indeed, it was a woman. The sheer number of scales and legs and teeth and tails made it difficult to come to any definite conclusions.
“Not tonight,” said Cal. “But thank you for the kind offer, and you stay safe now, you hear?”
There was a small group of buildings ahead that Cal instantly recognized as bars. They had that certain quality that screamed ‘drinking establishment’. It didn’t, unfortunately, scream ‘quality drinking establishment’, but then beggars couldn’t be choosers. That said, these didn’t exactly look like the type of places you’d find the wealthy older women looking to give away drinks, upon which his whole getting drunk plan hinged.
They headed for the most promising-looking. It was only the most promising-looking in that it didn’t have bars on the windows or the sound of screaming coming from inside. On the way, they passed a door set back into the wall. An illuminated sign above it read: Schmargart’s.
Cal stopped. The name was familiar. “Where do I know that place from?” he asked.
Higgsy had to try very hard not to giggle. “It’s… It’s a place where ladies… Well. Where they…” He cupped his flapping great hands around his mouth and whispered. “Where they take off their clothes!”
He glanced around, anxiously, as if worried his mom might be listening, then allowed himself that giggle.
Cal clicked his fingers. Of course. The strip club. It had been one of the jobs he’d been offered before the car wash. Satisfied, he turned, and was about to leave when he heard the voice from inside the door.
“Listen, man, I told you, you ain’t got no ticket, you ain’t getting in.”
“Oh yeah? Try and stop me, robot!” barked another voice.
There was a sound of scuffling. Cal and the others ducked as a flailing shape flew over their heads, hit the ground, then skidded several feet on its face.
With a whirring and clanking, a hulking metal figure stepped out from the doorway. “I ain’t a motherfonking robot!”
Cal’s jaw dropped. “Mech?”
Mech blinked, glanced left and right, then settled on Cal. He stiffened slightly, looked back into the doorway, then plodded down the club’s stone steps. “Hey, man,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
“Just got off work,” said Cal. “You?”
“Uh, just started,” said Mech.
“You work here?” Cal asked, putting a weird sort of emphasis on the last word than he’d intended, turning it into something that sounded l
ike an accusation.
“Turns out we all gotta work somewhere,” Mech grunted. He nodded to the others standing behind Cal. “Who’re your friends?”
Cal frowned, like he had no idea what Mech was talking about, then glanced back over his shoulder. “What? Oh! I mean, yes. Mech, meet Higgsy, Jork and Alan. These three – plus me, obviously – are the all-new Space Team.”
Mech’s eyes narrowed as he looked from Higgsy to Jork and back again. “I make two.”
“Alan’s down there,” said Cal, gesturing to the much smaller man. “Don’t make comment on it, though. He’ll make you eat your own feet, and then he’ll do this dance like… Alan, show him the dance.”
Alan glared menacingly at Mech as he began to jig on the spot. “You like this? Huh, big guy? You like this shizz?”
Mech watched him for several seconds, not quite sure how he was supposed to respond. “OK, then,” he said, tearing his eyes away. “That’s… I don’t know what that is.”
He turned his attention back to Cal. “New team, huh? You didn’t waste time.”
“Why should I have?” asked Cal, sniffing indignantly. “I mean, you made your feeling very clear.”
Mech opened and closed his metal jaw, then nodded. “Yeah. I guess I did.”
They stood on the sidewalk, a handful of feet and several light years apart, neither one saying anything. Alan, Higgsy and Jork watched them both, also in silence.
“Well, this is fonking awkward,” Alan muttered, after a while.
“I’d better get back to work,” Mech said, jabbing a mechanical thumb back towards the door. “Those perverts ain’t gonna police themselves.”
“Right, yeah. Of course. Good. We were just heading off. Plans to make. You know? Adventures to have.”
Mech gave a half chuckle. “Good luck with that,” he said, then he tapped a finger to his brow in salute. “Take care of yourself, man.”
“Always do,” said Cal, grinning. He stopped Mech before he could turn. “Uh, what about Miz? Is she around?”
Mech hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. She had to get a job, too.”
Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan Page 14