And hadn’t she walked into the situation with her eyes wide open?
Trust? There was no such thing between a man and a woman, Nell thought, opening up her briefcase. Bringing out the documents she had prepared for Luca, she made a silent vow not to leave until she had his co-operation.
‘Would you like a glass of water?’
Did she look pale? She didn’t want him suspecting how she felt inside. ‘For some reason I’m feeling the heat today. I’ll be fine in a moment.’
‘I’ll get you a glass of water anyway and turn up the airconditioning.’ Leaving his seat, he walked across the room.
Even now she couldn’t look at him without trembling—and it was impossible not to look at him. Did she want to see how beautifully coordinated he was, how perfectly balanced?
Dragging her gaze away, Nell forced her mind back to the business at hand. ‘Would you like to look at these?’ She pushed some papers across the desk. ‘I thought they’d give you some idea of what we do.’
‘I’d rather hear it from you than read some glossy brochure prepared by your marketing people.’ Putting the glass of water down in front of her, Luca returned to his seat.
‘Marketing people?’ Nell held his gaze. ‘Ours is a small volunteer-based scheme. I don’t use marketing people. I wrote every word on these pages myself.’
‘Still…’ Leaning back, he rested his head on his arms. ‘I’d like you to tell me about it.’
And she’d thought she had put every safeguard in place. How could she remain immune to him? He was such a powerful masculine force, he was impossible to ignore. But did he even remember last night? Or were there so many similar nights for Luca Barbaro, he barely marked their passing? If so, she hoped he remembered to change the sheets…
‘Would you like to begin?’
Corralling her wandering thoughts, Nell launched straight in.
‘So we’re to be the guinea pigs for your pilot scheme?’ Luca interrupted after she had been talking for a few minutes.
‘I thought you might be happier testing my assertions for yourself. How about Monday for a tour of the hospital and a trial run? What do you think?’ she pressed when he didn’t reply.
What did he think? He had to be impressed by the way she was handling a difficult situation. He was tempted to let her try the pilot scheme. And the itch he had scratched last night had started up again. ‘What do I think?’ He rasped a thumb across the stubble on his chin and held her gaze. It pleased him to see her eyes darken, but beneath the front he sensed she was wary. He wanted her again. If nothing else the pilot scheme she had suggested would throw them together.
And between now and Monday? He couldn’t concentrate on work while his mind was full of Nell. And his mind was firmly lodged beneath his belt. A little to one side of that was a pocket full of supplies.
‘I think…’
‘Yes?’ She became instantly alert.
‘I think I need to know a lot more about you before I agree to this pilot scheme.’
‘More about me?’ Nell shook her head, suddenly incensed. What more did he need to know? After last night she could only conclude that giving every appearance of enjoying someone’s company was an act as far as Luca was concerned—an act for which he expected payment in kind. ‘I’ve told you all you need to know about me. The project is what’s important.’
As Nell swallowed, it drew Luca’s attention to the pulse fluttering at the base of her throat, and lust roared up inside him. There was a red mist dancing in front of his eyes that had no bearing on her project, but as a whipping boy it served him well. ‘So, I’m to allow you, a woman I hardly know, into my hospital with your band of volunteers, trained who knows how, just on your say-so?’
‘Not on my say-so. On my track record, and on all those recommendations from other establishments I have brought here for you to study.’
‘That will take time, and then I’ll have more questions.’
‘I’ll give you all the time you need.’
Perfect. He curbed his smile as he dipped his head in acknowledgement of the offer. He could see she was gritting her teeth, while he was trying to calm the lustful little demon lashing about inside him. He wanted sex…sex with no hang-ups, no consequences, no complications. But life was never that simple.
What was going through Luca’s mind? Nell was still stinging with humiliation from last night—and what was worse, she still wanted him. But whatever had happened last night, she had to take the project forward. She wasn’t going anywhere until she got his agreement to host the pilot scheme. It had become a matter of pride now.
The shutters were drawn, his eyes were dark and the air was sultry. Exactly how far was she prepared to go to ensure that he didn’t back out of the scheme?
She shook away the thought. But it was one thing making angry resolutions at a safe distance, quite another keeping them when she was shut in a small room with Luca. How could she not be aware of him when she was still throbbing from his extremely thorough attentions? Responding to the thought, Nell eased her position on the seat.
‘Getting hot, Nell?’ Luca murmured, sending another fireball of arousal flooding through her.
‘No, I’m fine. Your air-conditioning is very efficient.’
He only had to raise a brow to call her a liar.
The tension in the air was growing harder to ignore by the minute. She started telling him about the project to channel her thoughts in a safe direction, but she was fully aroused, which made her thoughts disjointed, and she could see Luca was only paying lip-service to what she was saying. She couldn’t blame him. She was hardly making sense.
As she handed some documents across the desk, thinking it would keep him busy while she pulled herself together, their hands touched. The moment hung in the air, connecting them by a stream of tension that had to find release.
They came together like a raging tornado, Luca’s postcoital brush-off consumed in the heat along with all Nell’s other complaints against him. He could satiate her most basic need, and that was all she cared about. His arms were so welcome, strong and familiar, and the scent of him was intoxicating as he dragged her close. He backed her towards the door and she heard the key turn in the lock, and as he swung her up she cried out, already anticipating pleasure. There were no preliminaries. Luca just wedged her against the wall and dragged up her skirt. At the same time he was pulling down her briefs, he was unfastening his zip. And the next moment he was sinking inside her, holding her safe, fastening her legs around his waist, his hands firm on her buttocks. Spreading her wide, he pounded hard, fast.
‘You want this, don’t you, Nell?’
‘Yes…Oh, yes!’ Pleasure so wild, so intense it made their previous encounter seem tame? She wanted it.
‘Tell me,’ he instructed her fiercely. ‘Tell me everything you want from me. I have to hear you say it.’
Words poured from her lips, words she didn’t recognise, harsh, crude words that brought a look of brutal satisfaction to Luca’s face. ‘I want you, Luca. I want more!’
‘Like this?’ he suggested.
‘Oh, yes…’ She gasped as he rolled from side to side and the pleasure mounted.
‘And this?’
How could she answer while Luca was talking roughly in her ear, telling her in Italian, in English what she wanted, what she needed, and what he was going to give her? Nell’s mouth fell open ‘Yes, yes…’ She groaned and dug her fingers into him, bucking convulsively as he took her to a level of pleasure she had never experienced before. All thoughts of holding back, or preserving some propriety were lost in the urge to offer herself for his attentions, to angle her body, to part her legs wider still, to use her hands now to open herself more for him. And Luca responded intuitively, keeping the pleasure building until Nell reached a peak so high she was frightened to fall off it…
‘Now,’ he ordered fiercely, thrusting fast and deep.
With a cry she rushed over the edge, grinding her hips g
reedily against him. He made it last for the longest time, serving her selflessly, skilfully, while she gasped and shrieked with pleasure like some wild creature that recognised no boundaries.
At last the explosion softened into a series of delicious aftershocks, and after soothing her Luca took his turn, building the rhythm again until he found savage release in a series of powerful thrusts that incredibly brought Nell to the brink again so that this time they plunged into the abyss together.
Lowering her gently to her feet, Luca was careful to steady her, but then he stood back and she heard him fasten his fly as he crossed the room.
‘There are some tissues on the desk.’
His voice was calm, impersonal. And why not? His job was done. As she slipped on her briefs, she had to wonder about her sanity. She had to wonder about a man whose heart was nothing more than a pump, with about as much feeling as one of his hospital machines. She had let lust get the better of her again, and now she was going to pay the price. If only she’d thought things through first, this would never have happened. But she hadn’t thought at all—she’d had one goal in mind, and she’d reached that rather faster than she had expected.
It wasn’t until she had finished dressing and had bent down to slip on her sandals that Nell noticed the discarded foil.
He had come prepared. He had been expecting this.
Rage exploded out of her. ‘You cold-hearted bastard!’
‘What?’ Turning, Luca levelled a quizzical stare on her face. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘What’s wrong with me?’ Picking up the packet from the floor, Nell threw it at him. ‘Do you keep a store of these in your office, just in case?’ She firmed her lips when he didn’t answer. ‘You had this planned all along, didn’t you, Luca? I can’t believe I’ve been taken in again!’
‘You’re a grown woman. You knew what you were doing. Would you rather I had taken no precautions at all?’
‘Of course not—’
‘Then why are you complaining?’
He was so cool she could hardly speak. But as he turned she grabbed his arm. Before she knew what she was doing, she had raised her hand to him.
Catching hold of her wrist, Luca dragged her close and kissed her hard. She fought him off, but he knew her too well, and in a moment she was kissing him back—hungrily, desperately.
Luca pulled away first, holding her at arm’s length to give her a long, lazy smile. That smile, Nell realised, told her the kiss was just more proof of his domination.
Shaking as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, she held his gaze. ‘Why am I complaining? I’m surprised you need to ask.’
Luca’s lips pressed down as he eased his shoulders in a shrug. ‘You seemed like a willing partner to me.’
‘But there has to be more to sex than—’
‘Than what, Nell?’ Grabbing her arms, he drew her close to stare into her eyes, and then abruptly he let her go again. There was too much in her eyes…things he didn’t want to see.
She lashed out at him again, this time with words. ‘Do you know how much I hate you? You make me feel dirty!’
Dirty? Reeling back, he realised she couldn’t have said anything to shock him more. Yes, their relationship was like nothing he had ever known before—casual but intense, disturbing…and dirty? His blinding flash of shame turned to anger. She had struck at the core of his self-belief. He was a principled man, a man who kept a fence around him for a reason. How could he do his work without denial, without selfrestraint? His life was ruled by objectivity; there was no room in it for personal considerations. His emotional austerity had never been breached before, and it couldn’t be breached in the space of a few days by a woman he hardly knew.
‘Dirty? What are you talking about?’
‘How do you describe having sex up against a wall?’
There wasn’t much he could say to that. He watched her straighten her clothes, sensing she was straightening out her thoughts at the same time. Once she’d finished, she turned to face him. Her eyes had turned to blue ice.
‘Nothing to say, Luca?’
‘What do you want me to say?’
With a mirthless laugh she shook her head. ‘I might have been a fool to fall for this again, but you are one cold, hard bastard.’
‘What’s your problem, Nell?’
‘What’s my problem? I’m not the one with a problem. You’ve got the problem, Luca. You don’t know the meaning of emotion. You don’t have a feeling, caring bone in your body!’
He was still stinging from her earlier attack. ‘Isn’t that an overreaction to what was some rather good sex?’
Nell shook her head. ‘Your conceit overwhelms me.’
‘Don’t burden me with your emotional baggage. We had good sex, we both enjoyed it, end of story.’
Nell’s face reflected her incredulity. ‘You are something else…’
‘I’m a man.’
‘And a doctor,’ she observed softly and ironically. ‘What a perfect combination.’
‘Meaning?’
‘It explains your frame of mind.’
‘You’ll have to do better than that,’ he snapped, angry at her and with himself for reacting to her nonsense.
‘All right, I will. I never told you how my husband died, did I?’
Luca raised his brows. ‘Does that have relevance?’
Shooting a glance at the ceiling, Nell gave a short, humourless laugh. ‘Oh, yes, Luca, I think it does. Jake died because of medical incompetence. And after he died I was left waiting, not told anything, deliberately deceived, while other doctors scrambled to cover for their colleague’s mistake. You wanted to know how I fund this project, how I got it off the ground? The hospital had to pay out for their doctor’s mistake, that’s how.’
‘I still don’t see—’
‘No, you wouldn’t. Just a tick here, and a cross there, and Jake’s tragic accident was a cover-up in which his whole medical team was embroiled. They treated me like a piece of no-account dirt. They ignored me, patronised me, lied to me, fobbed me off with medical terminology and gobbledygook. I only found out the truth about what really happened at the inquest.’
‘But what does this have to do with me?’
‘It’s a state of mind, Luca. Think back to when Molly was taken sick. Have you any idea how much worse you made that experience with your coldness, your impatience, your unpleasantness towards me? I was in despair. I was desperate. I thought my baby was going to die, like my husband had, and you just shut me out!’
‘My concern was for the child—’
‘The child? You’ve met Molly, you know her, and yet you can still only see her as the child, the patient, the statistic! What’s wrong with you?’
‘There’s nothing wrong with me—and I hope you’re not bracketing me with the incompetents who handled your husband’s case!’
‘Listen to you.’ She raked her hair, and then looked at him almost as if she felt sorry for him. ‘Still hanging on to your pride. Jake’s case, as you call it, was his life. My husband’s life, Luca.’
‘You have my condolences.’
‘Your condolences?’ There was a disbelieving laugh in Nell’s voice. ‘Patients are just so many records on a computer file as far as you’re concerned. With no character or history to flesh out the individual. Is it just me, or is that how you treat all your sexual partners too?’
‘No!’ he cut across her. For a moment he was speechless; she had really shocked him. She had held a mirror up in front of his face and he didn’t like what he saw. Was that how she saw him? Was that how he was? Was he guilty of treating both his patients and his partners like bodies to be processed for the best possible outcome?
Had he failed to treat Nell as a woman all those years ago on the canal—as a mother, as a fellow human being? And if so, what was his excuse? Oh, yes…he was a doctor.
It sounded pretty thin now. And yes, he had been busy, stressed-out, exhausted…but he had still been
a human being, and he could have related to her on that level for however short a time. Instead he had presumed that she wouldn’t understand, that he was too busy, that his knowledge was too specialised for a mere civilian to comprehend.
Or had he just been too self-important to consider her feelings? And was he still guilty of that now? It was too late to wish he’d done things differently all those years ago…was it too late for him to change?
It hardly mattered, Luca realised. His intention not to complicate things with Nell had backfired on him in the most spectacular fashion. It might have taught him something, but if this was a new beginning for him, as far as Nell was concerned, it was the end.
‘I’d like to confirm that my volunteers are still welcome here on Monday.’
Her voice was shaking, but her eyes told him she was as determined as ever. And he had been preparing to reap the whirlwind of her personal hurt. She had surprised him yet again.
‘Monday?’
‘Have you changed your mind?’ She held his gaze.
He hesitated. ‘How are we going to—?’
She cut him off. ‘Going to what, Luca? Separate our work from what has happened between us? That’s easy,’ she said before he had a chance to answer. ‘We won’t spend any time together that isn’t directly connected to the project. Unless of course you’re going to allow your personal life to interfere with improvements to your hospital services?’
He felt as if he was standing on a rapidly shrinking ice floe, and hit back the only way he knew how. ‘Don’t be in any doubt, Nell. I always put the hospital first.’
‘Good. Then I’ll see you on Monday. You’ll find I’ve put everything you need in this information pack for you. You can check all the references of the volunteers, and if there’s anything you’re unsure of, don’t hesitate to get in touch.’
His admiration went up a notch. She’d been profoundly upset, and still remained true to her purpose. He was thankful for the project too—it was all they had left now. But still his natural caution stepped in.
‘I make no promises. I’ll read everything and then talk to a few people.’
‘Procrastinate?’
A Venetian Affair Page 25