by Beth Ciotta
Some of Luke’s uglier memories were tied up with Sam’s wife, Paula, who’d endured an invasive operation and extensive chemo treatments before ultimately losing her battle to ovarian cancer. The family had lost Grandpa Jessup, Daisy’s husband, to cancer as well. If Luke’s dad hadn’t hightailed it to Florida, the family would have been haunting this hospital every time the old man, who wasn’t even all that old, came in for treatment. But no. Jerome Monroe had spared his children and assorted relatives that misery. Rae had praised the man’s good intentions, but Luke damned his pride. Luke’s mom shouldn’t have had to bear that weight on her own. Not wanting to cause tension over the Christmas holidays, Luke had held his tongue. But, damn, he resented the way his dad had handled the situation.
“Just be glad he’s coming out of it,” Dev had said.
What would his big brother say about this situation with Rae? Dev’s first wife had miscarried scarcely five months into her pregnancy. Dev hadn’t even known for certain that Janna had been carrying his child, but he’d grieved the loss all the same. Luke had only been living with the idea of being a dad for two days and Rae was only a few weeks along. Still, he felt emotionally invested.
It was damned uncomfortable.
Wired, Luke left the crowded, stale-smelling room. He needed air. Except midway down the hall he spied his grandma and Vince Redding coming his way. That he didn’t need. He tried ducking through the nearest door, but …
“Luke?”
Busted.
Slapping on a smile, he faced the senior couple—hugged Daisy then shook Vince’s hand. “What are you two doing here?”
Daisy pushed her blingy glasses up her nose. “I could ask you the same.”
“I asked first,” Luke said.
“My ticker,” Daisy said.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing,” Vince said. “Just time for her checkup with Doctor Beane.”
“Couldn’t you see Doc Worton for that?” Luke didn’t like the idea of Vince driving all this way on icy roads. He seemed spry enough for seventy. Still, why take chances?
“I could,” Daisy said. “But Doctor Beane was the one who treated me when I had that mild heart attack a while back.”
“The heart attack you didn’t tell anyone about,” Luke said. “What is it with this family lately?”
“You think I’m happy my son kept his illness from me?” she said. “But I understand Jerome’s motives. Same reason I kept my brush with death to myself. It’s personal. Stop holding a grudge, Luke.”
“I’m not … How’d you know I was thinking about Dad.”
“Do I look like I was born yesterday?”
“No, ma’am.” She didn’t look her age, either. In finding herself (in her seventies, mind you) Daisy Monroe had chucked her conservative wardrobe in favor of clothing more suited to a late sixties hippie. She’d also adopted a habit of coloring her springy curls in various bright colors (this month red—in honor of Valentine’s Day). She was wearing velvety overalls, fuzzy purple boots, a lime green coat, and blingy cat eye glasses. “Don’t let me hold you up,” Luke said after glancing at his watch. “I’m sure Beane’s on a tight schedule.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sidestepping his observation. “Why are you here?”
Hell. “A friend of mine got food poisoning.”
“Who?”
“Rae.”
“Ray Howard?” Vince asked.
“Rae as in Reagan Devereaux,” Daisy said to Vince. “Formerly Rachel Lacey. I told you about her and the false identity thing.”
“That you did. Right out of a mystery show, that one. Don’t understand why she’d fib like that, but I’m sorry she’s sick,” the older man said to Luke.
“I’ve known lots of people struck by food poisoning,” Daisy said, “They didn’t land in the hospital.”
“Must’ve been a severe case,” Vince said then frowned. “Hope it wasn’t caused by any food purchased at my store.”
“King Chow’s,” Luke said.
“Thank God.” Vince coughed into his hand. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean,” Luke said.
“We should pop in and say hello,” Daisy said, looking one way then another. “Where is she?”
Damn. “I, uh, don’t think that’s a good idea, Gram. She was feeling really lousy and—”
“But you’re waiting to see her.”
“I drove her here and I’m driving her back. Just waiting to hear if they want to keep her overnight.”
“Why did you give her a lift? Why not Sam? And what do you mean friend? You were never friends. Except for the Cupcake Lovers, Rachel kept to herself. And she only worked at the Shack a few days before disappearing and…” Daisy shifted her wiry weight and narrowed her eyes. “Lucas Monroe. Did you mess up the sheets with Rachel?”
“Rae,” Vince reminded her quietly. “And that’s none of our business, petunia.”
“You did, didn’t you?” Daisy asked Luke. “How could you? She’s Sam’s girl!”
“She’s not—”
“You can go in now, Mr. Monroe.”
The nurse who’d taken Rae into an examining room was now standing next to Luke. Her expression betrayed nothing, yet his heart hammered.
“We’re late for our appointment,” Vince said while urging Daisy forward. “Give Rae our regards.”
Daisy waggled her bony finger in Luke’s face. “We’ll talk later.”
Of that he had no doubt.
Luke followed the nurse down a side hall. She motioned him into a private room then went on her way. His pulse spiked when he noted Rae, sitting on the edge of the bed looking small and ashen and, dammit, vulnerable.
She met Luke’s gaze then broke into tears.
Gut knotted, he moved forward and pulled her into his arms. He held her close, stroking her back, making stupid hushing noises. He didn’t know what to say.
Clutching his shirt, she wept against his chest. “I … I can’t believe it.”
Luke’s stomach dropped to his toes and his heart lodged in his throat. He hugged her tighter, closing his eyes when they started to burn. “I’m sorry, Rae.”
“What? No,” she blurted between sobs. “I’m fine. Baby’s fine.”
Luke blinked. “What?”
“Baby’s fine. I’m … I’m fine. They gave me some fluids to … combat dehydration, but … everything, the baby … she’s okay.”
Luke’s pulse had gone from a dead stop to a full-out gallop. He eased Rae back and framed her tear-streaked face. “Then why are you crying?”
“I’m happy.” She dragged her sleeved arm under her nose, sniffed, then looked at him with her heart in her eyes. “Are you?”
“Yes,” Luke said honestly. He couldn’t get a grip on all the emotions swirling inside him, but relief was in there alongside happy.
“They did an ultrasound. Do you want to see?”
“Okay.” Luke dragged a hand through his hair as she reached behind her then showed him a picture that sort of looked like an X-ray. He squinted, looking for the shape of a mini-person. “I don’t see—”
“She’s only the size of a bean right now.” Rae pointed. “That’s her. See?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“You can’t tell, but at six weeks her eyes, ears, and nose are starting to form and her organs are developing.”
Luke rubbed his chest, cursed his burning eyes as he stared, and imagined a developing baby. “What if it’s a boy?” he asked. “Will you mind?”
“No,” she said, wiping away fresh tears. “Will you be disappointed if it’s a girl?”
“No.” Luke swallowed as Rae gently tucked the scan inside her purse. He had no fricking idea what he was getting into or how he was going to handle it, but he was going to be a dad. That meant forging some sort of relationship with Rae. It didn’t hurt that he was physically, enormously attracted to her.
Their eyes met and Luke’s heart jerked. They moved in at th
e same time and he lost himself in a kiss like no other he’d experienced. It was troubling. Thrilling. He’d never been into clingy, but there was something heady about the intensity of Rae’s embrace. Just like that first time they’d kissed. Something that made him want to cling, too.
When they came up for air, Luke dropped his forehead to Rae’s. Even though this hospital visit had had a happy ending, so many others in his life hadn’t. The memory of Sam breaking down when Paula died filled Luke with sadness and remorse. He’d encouraged Sam’s pursuit of Rae and then he’d sabotaged his cousin’s efforts. Not on purpose. Still. Amazing that he could feel happy and like the world’s biggest ass at the same time. “We have to talk to Sam.”
“I know. I’ll do it.”
“No. It has to be me. He’s not just family, he’s a good man and I…” screwed him over, “handled this badly.”
Looking miserable again, Rae rested her head on Luke’s shoulder. “What are you going to tell him?”
“That we’re involved.”
Beyond that, Luke was clueless.
SIXTEEN
Rae had never felt as close to anyone as she had with Luke during those few moments in the examining room. It made her feel wonderful and sad and sort of pathetic at the same time. She was twenty-five. She’d never had a serious relationship with a man nor did she have any close friends. Not the kind you stayed in touch with no matter where you lived or how much time went by. The only friends she’d ever had, outside of the Cupcake Lovers, had been false or transient friends. People who sucked up because of her celebrity ties or money. Friendly acquaintances who faded from her life once they no longer crossed paths on a daily basis.
Weary of being taken advantage of, she’d erected a wall years ago. She didn’t let people into her head or heart, which negated intimate relationships. She was tired of playing it safe. Tired of guarding her every thought and word. Tired of playing the martyr. She wanted to live and laugh and love. To be surrounded by good people and positive endeavors. To experience full out what she’d had a taste of that year she’d lived in Sugar Creek. She realized suddenly just how important it was to her that Luke accepted and welcomed their baby. Even though she knew she was capable of raising her child anywhere. This is where she wanted to be.
So what now? Shop for a house? An apartment? The prospect was daunting considering her determination to resurrect Sugar Tots and to influence the Cupcake Lovers book deal. Maybe it would be best to cool her heels at the Pine and Periwinkle until she’d tackled some of her goals. Until she and Luke had reached a formal understanding. Why rush forward when so much was unsettled?
Luke had kept to himself on the drive back to her hotel. Then again, so had Rae. She assumed he was contemplating the future, much like her. That kiss had sealed an emotional bond. She was sure of it. Knowing Luke’s romantic history, this was probably a first for him. It was definitely new territory for Rae. Her thoughts and feelings were tangled. She couldn’t process the true nature of their relationship. Couldn’t envision their next step. So she focused on now and the simple facts.
Her baby was fine.
She was fine.
Luke was happy.
They were involved.
Even though Rae was dead on her feet, her senses tingled as he walked her to her suite. Lightheaded, lighthearted, she smiled up at him when her key card snicked. “Thank you, Luke. For everything.”
“If that’s my cue to go, forget it. I’m not leaving you alone tonight.” He nudged her through the door then shut out the rest of the world.
Rae turned and bumped into his hard chest. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to.”
“I’m feeling much better.”
“Good. Still staying.”
“Overnight?”
“All night.”
Luke never slept over with his girlfriends. One of his rules. Although they weren’t dating. They were involved.
Whatever that meant.
“Sure you won’t regret this in the morning?” she asked.
“How about we take one day at a time?”
“At the moment that’s all I’m capable of,” she said as he helped her out of her coat. “Between the food poisoning and subsequent drama, I’m wiped. All I want is a hot bath and a long nap.”
“And food,” Luke added. “You have to eat something. Even if it’s just broth.” He plucked his cell from his pocket. “I’ll order in from the Shack.”
“They offer room service here.”
“I’m not trusting your stomach to anyone but Anna,” Luke said. “Not until you’re fully recovered.”
He was being overprotective, which was sweet. Rae cursed her fluttering heart. He was ordering chicken soup, not an engagement ring. For all she knew, as soon as she felt 100 percent, he’d do a one-eighty.
“What’s wrong?”
Rae shrugged as Luke pocketed his phone. “Nothing. I just … Are you sure about this sleeping over thing? There’s only one bed.”
“I can sleep on the love seat.”
“Not comfortably.”
Luke crossed his arms and angled his head. “Is that an invitation to sleep with you?”
His tone was casual but her cheeks flushed all the same. She thought back on their mad shag in Bel Air, the way she’d practically ripped off his pants. “I won’t attack you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Why would you, when the sex wasn’t all that great?”
Rae winced in memory of her crude brush-off. “You seriously took my jab to heart?”
“You sounded damned convincing.”
“I lashed out because…”
“Go on.”
Rae’s heart hammered, knowing she was standing at a crossroad. He was asking her to speak honestly, to bear her heart, which meant setting herself up for disappointment.
“I don’t know where this, us, is going Rae. But I can’t move forward if you keep me in the dark.”
“It was the best sex of my life,” she blurted, “and you ruined it. Your regret was crystal clear. You were disgusted and angry.”
“With myself,” Luke cut in. “You’d been drinking. I took advantage.”
“I wanted it. Wanted you. Sex with you.”
“To get me out of your system.”
She’d had no idea her words had inflicted such hurt. Words spoken in anger in order to salvage her own pride. “If I wanted you out of my system, I wouldn’t have come back to Sugar Creek. I wouldn’t be standing here. I certainly wouldn’t be sharing my feelings.”
Luke held her gaze, nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t handle things better. After.”
“Me, too. I mean—”
“I know what you mean.” He smiled a little, striking a death blow to her already weak knees. “You okay if I leave for a while?” he asked.
“Did I scare you off?”
“No.” He reached out and caressed her cheek. “But there’s something I need to do.”
Rae’s stomach clenched. “Sam.”
“Sam.”
* * *
Luke dialed his cousin as he walked toward his wheels.
“I’m in a meeting, Luke.”
“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“I’ll step outside.”
“Needs to be in person.”
“Can it wait?”
“No.” Luke revved his car and tempered his pulse. “Where are you?”
“Moose-a-lotta.”
Luke flashed on an earlier phone call from Rocky. “The emergency CL meeting?”
“Yup.”
Damn. The only thing worse than confronting Sam with his news, was confronting Sam in front of the ladies who’d been rooting for Sam and Rae as a couple for months. “I’ll meet you outside of the café in ten.”
Rolling through the slushy streets of Sugar Creek, Luke considered three different openings to this conversation. None of them felt right. By the time he parked in front of Moose-a-lotta he’d re
signed himself to a black eye or bruised jaw. If Sam struck out like he’d done once before, Luke wouldn’t fight back. Unless Sam went bat-shit crazy on him. Luke couldn’t see that happening. Then again his judgment had been dicey of late.
Luke zipped his coat and stepped onto the road, bracing for the frigid winds and Sam’s wrath. Spying several familiar faces, including his sister and Gram, peeking through the closed blinds of Moose-a-lotta, Luke groaned. Great. They had an audience. If things got ugly between the two cousins, the Cupcake Lovers would have a front-row seat. He wondered if Daisy had told Sam and everyone about running into Luke and Rae at the hospital. He could almost hear the conjecture and gossip buzzing in his ears. He could feel Rocky’s boot kicking his ass to the curb and out of the club for multiple reasons, but mostly for screwing over their poor widowed cousin.
Damn.
“I’m guessing this has to do with Rae,” Sam said, making the first play.
“I haven’t been entirely forthright,” Luke said while stuffing his gloved hands in his pockets. “All I can say is, it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t pursue Rae. I didn’t charm or seduce her. Hell, I didn’t even flirt. That first kiss, it went down like I said. Purely innocent. Then, because I was worried about her, I hired Jayce to track her.”
“You flew to Bel Air,” Sam surmised.
“I saw red when I found out who she was and how she’d betrayed us. There was a confrontation and an incident. I didn’t think I’d see her again. I sure as hell didn’t think there was anything between us.”
“But there is.”
“There is.” Luke rocked back on his heels, hunched his shoulders against the biting wind, and wondered if hell was going to freeze over before Sam reacted to the news.
The man just stared.
Most people crumbled under Sam’s famous death glare. But Luke was too primed. Too pissed. It wasn’t his fault that Rae had fallen for him and not Sam. He wasn’t a homewrecker. They’d never been a goddamned couple. “Are you gonna slug me?” Because Luke was suddenly itching to slug back.
“No. I’ll just wait.”
“For what?”
“For you to screw up.”
A haymaker would have hurt less. Luke had always looked up to Sam and before this thing with Rae, he’d been as tight with the man as any of his other cousins. And that was damned tight. The censure stung, but it also torqued Luke’s pride. “What if I don’t screw up, Sam? What if I make a commitment to Rae and follow through?”