by Morgan Fox
Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and opened the door. Once inside she was greeted by Rudy McGuire, a fireman who’d helped remodel Iron Horse. He smiled at her, and she felt a little better.
“Hey, Zerina. Glad you could make it. The guys are finishing up a quick meeting, but they’ll be in the kitchen soon. Feel free to join the other guests. It’s right down that hallway.” He pointed in the direction she needed to go.
“Thanks,” she said, clutching the pastry box.
As she headed down the hallway, she heard a group of women talking and froze. She had to pull herself together. Had to stop thinking that people were out to hurt her, make fun of her. She wasn’t that teenage girl anymore.
“Did you see how she was dressed?” a loud female voice said and Zerina couldn’t help but hold her breath. “Her skin was so pale she looked horribly sick.”
“I can’t believe how dirty she was. What kind of person allows that?”
Zerina swallowed hard. Were they talking about her? Had they seen her get out of her car? She breathed in shallow pants, unable to move a muscle.
“Those markings on her skin…what was that?”
Her tattoos? Oh, God, they were talking about her. She couldn’t go in there, she had to leave. Turning, she came face-to-face with Jeremy.
“Hey,” he said, smiling and reaching to hold her.
To keep him from grabbing her, she shoved the box of pastries in his hands and moved around him. “I’m sorry. I can’t stay. I need to go.”
“Wait. What happened? Where are you going?” He followed after her, but she was determined to leave and he wasn’t about to stop her. “Zerina, talk to me.”
“I can’t, Jeremy. I thought I could. But I can’t.” She opened the door to her car, but he jumped in front of it before she could close it.
“Zerina,” he said sharply. “What happened? Why are you running away?”
Her eyes watered. She couldn’t help it. Her fears were unraveling in front of her. Even outside of high school, shit happened.
She stiffened her spine, swallowing down the emotions that were just beneath the surface. “Look, Jeremy. I think we made a mistake. I don’t fit the mold of your friends. I’m not like them and I never will be.”
“What are you talking about? Why are you saying that?”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “Ask the wives sitting in the kitchen talking about me and then you’ll have all the answers you need.” She grabbed for her door. “Please move. I want to go home.”
With a stunned expression, he slowly backed away. He said nothing to her. It wasn’t like he could deny what she’d heard. They didn’t like her, didn’t want her around. She knew it shouldn’t matter, but it did. These were important people in Jeremy’s life, and if she were going to be part of that, they should want to get to know her, too. But they didn’t. They were just like the teasing assholes from high school, the same ones who only judged and never really looked beneath her appearance. Sadly, she’d known all along that her time with Jeremy was limited. At least he’d made her feel like she wasn’t a freak while they were together. The truth was bound to come out eventually. She was a freak, to most it would seem.
* * * *
Jeremy slammed the box of pastries down on the table and every muscle in his body tightened. How had wanting to spend lunch with Zerina turned into her running away and breaking up with him? What had she heard that upset her so much?
“Where’s Zerina?” James asked, stepping up beside him to open the box of pastries. “I wanted her to meet my wife.”
Jeremy gritted his teeth. “I wish I knew.”
He frowned. “Wait. McGuire said she was here.”
Inhaling deeply, he dug his knuckles into his hips. “She left.”
“Why?”
“Fuck James, I don’t know. She just left. Said she heard people talking about her.”
“Who?”
“Shit, I don’t know. Maybe the wives,” he replied, running a stiff hand through his hair. James rounded him and headed for the kitchen. “Where the hell are you going?”
“I’m going to ask my wife,” he said matter-of-factly.
He grimaced, watching as James disappeared into the kitchen and then reemerged with a pain filled grin on his face. “We might have a problem,” he said, squinting.
“What?” he asked, dragging the word out on a raspy breath.
“It seems they were talking about the kid we pulled from the house this morning. The one who the parents had neglected and Child Protective Services had to be called.”
“So? What does that have to do with Zerina?”
“Remember what the kid looked like?”
Jeremy thought back. The kid had been covered in shit, literally. Forced to stay in a closet for weeks. No sunlight. No real food. The kid looked like death had come to get her. Her arms were covered in bruises and markings from being beat with a metal coat hanger.
“Is it possible Zerina thought they were talking about her and not the kid?”
He would’ve liked to have said no, but then bile rose up at the back of his throat and he knew that that was exactly what had happened. Zerina was taking a big step out of her comfort zone coming up to the firehouse. He knew that, but he also knew that everyone here would love her. No one would’ve judged her.
“Damn it, I should’ve met her at the door,” he said, hating himself for not thinking about how uncomfortable she must’ve been. He looked over at James. “Let me call her.”
He went to his bunk for privacy and pulled out his cell phone. As he suspected, she didn’t answer. Knowing Zerina, she had turned off her phone so he couldn’t reach her. She wouldn’t want to talk with him after what she thought had happened.
He had no choice but to wait until morning to go to her. She most likely worked tonight and would be asleep at home. As much as he wanted to talk with her, he probably should wait until she got up. Nothing was worse than waking a sleeping bear with heightened emotions.
Jeremy knew he could fix this. He only hoped she’d let him.
Chapter Ten
Jeremy’s chest ached as he turned the key to his front door. He was lost without Zerina. All night long all he could think about was her and how she must be feeling. He hated that she’d gotten the wrong idea at the firehouse. Holding her and telling her that it was all a big misunderstanding was all he wanted to do. But he couldn’t. She wouldn’t let him.
Around 1:00 a.m., he’d called Iron Horse, but Sam played gatekeeper and blocked his chance to talk to her. Zerina was stubborn, but so was he. He wasn’t about to let her walk away so easily, wouldn’t let her fears keep them apart. Even though he was anxious and his body fatigued like he had the flu, he was prepared to fight for her.
With the weight of the world resting on his shoulders, he stepped into his home and immediately dropped his overnight bag on the floor at his feet. He sighed hard as he glanced around the room. Zerina had once again worked her magic and amazed him. He rubbed the palm of his hand over his heart, and thought of the last time he’d come home to discover her decorating talent. He wished she was with him now. He’d kiss her like there was no tomorrow and thank her the best way he knew how. By telling her that he loved her.
With her talent and insight, she’d brought together his love of black leather, brushed nickel, and his fireman career to make the house truly his home.
Once again, a small statue on an end table drew his attention. He picked up a metal sculpture of a fireman cradling a Dalmatian puppy and another one holding a small child. A twinge of something warm flooded his system. The decorating job was fantastic. The only thing missing was her.
He returned the items to the table, placing them in the exact place she’d put them, and spotted something on the counter. He went to it and all the blood seemed to drain from his body. It was the key to his house, his credit card, and a note. Holding his breath, he read it.
Jeremy, Thank you for allowing me to decorate your hom
e. I can never repay you for the opportunity. I hope it turned out the way you wanted. I wish you the best in your future. Z
He sat down on the barstool and reread the note a dozen more times. She really had broken up with him and she hadn’t even given him a chance to clear the air. He should be pissed, but he wasn’t. He was devastated. For the first time in his life, he’d gone and given his heart away. Falling in love with Zerina had been as easy to him as breathing. Even with all the resistance she’d put up in the beginning, it only made him want her more. And he still wanted her. His eyes glistened, and he blinked the emotions away.
There had to be something he could do to win her back, to get her to see that nothing mattered but the two of them. If they loved each other, who cared what everyone else thought?
He glanced over at his watch and groaned. He had a long time to wait before she went to work at Iron Horse. But he’d be patient and head up there the moment they opened. Putting an end to the bullshit was the one thing driving him, and he’d do whatever he could to make her see just how beautiful a person she was and how right for each other they were.
* * * *
Jeremy arrived at Iron Horse a few minutes after they opened. He spotted her car the moment he pulled into the parking lot. He also saw everyone else’s, which meant there was likely no chance of a private conversation.
He went inside and aimed for the bar. Layla was smiling at him, her sweet face a sight for sore eyes. He wasn’t sure if everyone would hate him since he had no idea what Zerina had told them.
“Hey, Jeremy,” she said. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Hi, Layla. No, actually I was hoping to speak with Zerina. Is she around?”
She frowned, the expression sympathetic. “I heard that something happened between you guys. She told me that you were banned from the bar.”
His jaw fell open. “She what?”
She winked. “Don’t worry. I don’t listen to half the stuff she tells me.”
“I need to see her, Layla. Where is she?”
She hiked her thumb up over her shoulder. “Try the storeroom, but Sam might be with her, so enter at your own risk.”
“Thanks,” he replied and headed straight in the direction she mentioned.
He’d never pissed off Sam and he hoped that would earn him a few points. Technically, he wasn’t the one who hurt Zerina, so that should count, too. As he turned the corner into the storeroom, he saw her and his heart skipped a beat. Then he stumbled a bit, scuffing his feet, and she looked up to see him. He raised his hands in surrender.
“Please talk with me,” he begged.
“There’s nothing we need to talk about,” she countered. “I think enough was said yesterday.”
“That’s just it. What you heard those women saying wasn’t about you.”
She laughed, the sound that of disbelief. “You don’t have to make excuses for them or try to cover it up. I get it. People are mean and they suck.”
“Not all people. Not me and not them.” He moved closer to her. “It was all a big mistake…a misunderstanding.”
She slammed her hand down on the crate. “Going to your work was a big mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking when I agreed to come by. I should’ve known this sort of shit would happen to me.”
He stopped moving. Hearing her turn into a helpless victim stunned him. “So you think they were trying to hurt you?”
“Hell yes I do. They just loved my pale and marked up skin.”
He dropped his hands to his sides with a huff of breath. “They weren’t talking about you.”
“How do you know? You weren’t there and you didn’t hear a thing they said. I did. I heard every fucking word and I felt just how—” She pressed her lips together, her eyes watering. “Face it. We’re two different people from two very different worlds. You’d do better without me anyway.”
He clenched his jaw. “What?”
“It’s true. You and I both know it. I’m not worth your time and your friends will never like me. I’m just too freaky for them.”
His blood pumped hard, his anger rising. Who the hell did she think she was beating herself down like she was? Did she not get just how much he cared about her and how he loved her just as she was?
“Fuck you, Zerina.”
She gaped at him.
“I’m so sick of hearing you beat yourself down. You really don’t have a damn clue about me or my friends and rather than find out, you bailed. You didn’t even give me a chance to figure out what happened. You just ditched me and then I get home to a note. A fucking kiss-my-ass note. What the fuck was that?”
“You should—”
“I’m not done,” he barked. “I think you’ve said enough as it is and now it’s my turn.” He closed the distance between them, his body rigid with the tension pulsing through him. “I find you to be perfect. I don’t give a rat’s ass about what others think, and if you really loved me the way I love you, you never would’ve run away from me.”
She blinked hard. “Wait. What?”
He realized what he said and held his tongue, locking onto her astonished gaze. “I think you heard me and I think you know that everything I’ve said to you is true.” He scoffed, running a stiff hand through his hair. “You let fear come between us. You chose to run away rather than fight to be with me. So regardless of what I said, it doesn’t matter. You obviously don’t feel the same way I do and that’s fine. But it’s the biggest mistake of your life.”
He watched as her lower lip began to quiver and he knew he had to walk away before he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He stepped back as Sam and Brynn came into the room.
“I should go,” he muttered and then turned to leave, but before he disappeared completely, he cocked his head back in her direction. “You should also know that they were talking about a little girl we’d rescued earlier that day from a bad home. They’d beaten her and kept her locked away for weeks. That’s who they were talking about. I thought you’d like to know.”
Then he left, and his heart shattered.
* * * *
Zerina was sure she was having a heart attack. How else could she describe the pain in her chest, the ache that robbed her of breath? She was a fool. Had jumped to conclusions too quickly.
“Are you all right?” Sam asked her, rubbing her hand over her shoulder.
The floodgate of tears she’d been harboring broke free. Nothing would stop them from flowing. The loss was too great. Sam held her, and only after the muscles in her chest and stomach eased was she able to regain control over her emotions.
“I screwed up,” she muttered between sobs. “I was wrong about what was said at the fire station.”
“Yeah, I caught that part,” Sam said, brushing her hand over her back. “Question is, what are you going to do about it?”
She eased back to meet her friends gaze. “What can I do? I made a fool out of myself. I chose to let my past fears destroy any future I had with Jeremy. He hates me now.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Brynn said, sliding up beside them. “There’s no way he does. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Personally, I’ve never had a man look at me like that, so I know what I’m talking about. He loves you, Z.”
She sniffled. “I sort of broke up with him in a note.”
“That’s better than a text,” Brynn tossed out.
Sam frowned. “Really?” she barked.
“Well, it is. At least she took the time to write it down.” She scoffed, eyeing Zerina. “I’m just saying.”
She took their hands in hers. “What do I do now? How can I fix this?”
“First, do you want to fix this?”
She swallowed hard. Being with Jeremy had been the happiest days of her life. There was no mistaking how much she missed him and they’d only been parted for a day. He’d won her heart and she hadn’t even realized it had happen. “Yes. I want him back.”
“Are you sure?” Brynn said with a snicker.
“Sadly, he doesn’t have a twin brother.”
She smiled. “Yes, I’m sure. I screwed up and I need to make it right. If he’ll let me.”
“Oh, he will,” Sam said with conviction. “If there’s one thing I know about men, they love a woman who begs the right way.”
Zerina’s brow rose. “What do you mean by that?”
She grinned as if plotting something diabolical. “You’re about to find out.”
* * * *
Jeremy tossed the frozen dinner into the microwave and punched the numbers in. Then he moved to his refrigerator and grabbed a beer, chugging down the contents before the beep on the oven sounded. After pulling the dinner out, he put it on the bar in front of him and stared at it. He wasn’t even sure why he cooked it. It wasn’t like he could eat. He was numb all over, especially his heart. The beer was doing little to help, so he reached for another. Just as he popped the top, he heard something bang in his garage. He went to check out the noise.
When he opened the door, he flipped on the light. For a moment, he thought he was dreaming, but then as Zerina’s image came into view, he was glad that he wasn’t.
“I considered straddling your motorcycle naked, but I already did that.”
He felt his cock respond even though he didn’t want it to. At least not yet. “But laying naked on the hood of my truck is okay?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
He shook his head. “You could’ve just knocked on the door.” Then he looked at the back door and realized that the only way she could’ve gotten in was to pick the lock. “Did you break in?”
She bit her lip, a glimpse of fear in her eyes. “Yes.”
He laughed. “Remind me to get better locks.”