by Jane Hardee
Jess lifted her face to Michael’s mouth. Their kisses had lost the urgency from moments ago, but Michael still felt as though she was going to explode. Jess pulled Michael tight against her as they tumbled onto the low bed. Jess ran her hands up and down Michael’s back and settled them firmly on her ass as Michael held herself up with locked elbows. Michael thrust her hips forward in a weak attempt to ease the ache that had begun to overtake her center.
Wanting to make it last, but desperate for more contact, Michael lowered her upper body onto Jess. She held her breath at the first touch of Jess’s erect nipples against her chest. The feel of Jess’s breasts pressed against her own was like a hot brand on her skin.
Sliding her trembling hand down Jess’s abdomen, Michael reveled in the feel of her smooth warm skin. Though this was the first time Michael had ever felt Jess’s skin in a sexual way, it was as if their bodies knew how to speak to each other. Everywhere Michael placed her fingers, Jess’s skin seemed to warm and come to life. Gooseflesh spread over the skin on Jess’s arms, and she moaned as Michael attempted to caress every inch of her.
Jess returned the favor wholeheartedly. Her hands moved in a frenzy, pulling at Michael’s hair, squeezing her shoulders, and rubbing her back. Jess’s fingernails raked across Michael’s shoulders as Michael slid her hand all the way down Jess’s stomach. All of Michael’s muscles bunched as she held herself back. While she had given herself over to this, she was not yet at full speed. Michael feared the intensity and ferocity of her actions might scare Jess. Her hand stilled just inside Jess’s panties.
“I won’t break. Just do it. I want you inside me.” Jess tilted her hips to emphasize her need.
Michael groaned as she palmed Jess’s sex and was rewarded with a loud moan as Jess arched her back and squeezed Michael’s wrist. Wanting to savor this moment, she spread Jess open. Michael rubbed her finger up and down the length of Jess’s sex slowly.
“So hot. So wet. Jess, I could drown in you,” Michael whispered.
As she slipped her index finger into Jess’s moist heat, she cried out with the joy of it. Michael felt completed. She felt like she was coming home for the first time. Inhaling deeply to try and keep her composure, she opened her eyes to look at Jess’s face: eyes closed, lips slightly parted, a fine sheen of sweat on her neck and shoulders. Michael felt Jess push down toward her hand, and she slipped a second finger inside.
Jess continued to run her hands up and down Michael’s back, thrashing her head from side to side. Michael’s sensory system was on overload, and she felt as if her entire body was about to burst. She straddled Jess’s thigh and pressed herself against the firm muscle of Jess’s leg. She must have noticed the heat of Michael’s sex pressed against her because Jess grabbed a fistful of Michael’s hair and screamed out as she pumped hard against Michael’s hand.
Knowing she needed to make this last, but not knowing how long she could stand the torture, Michael moved against Jess’s leg. The movement began to alleviate the painful throb in her groin while still keeping her primed. It was not her pleasure she was worried about. Michael wanted to make Jess understand how beautiful and how precious she was, and she wasn’t going to stop until Jess begged.
Jess’s inner muscles gripped at Michael’s fingers and she grew incredibly still and rigid. Michael glanced at her face and saw a pained expression as she gave herself over to ecstasy.
“Yes, please. Michael,” she yelled as she came.
Michael slowed her own movements to enjoy the sight before her. Jess flung her left arm over her face, and in the dim light Michael could make out Jess’s teeth slightly pulling at her bottom lip. Jess looked sexy and sated, pleased and exhausted. As Jess’s heart rate began to calm and her grip on Michael loosened, Michael was overcome with the urge to taste her.
“Jess…I need my mouth on you,” Michael begged in a shaky voice.
Moving down Jess’s body, she caressed her breasts and her stomach, opening her palms as wide as she could. She wanted to catalog every curve, every dip and plain. Michael feared any sculpture she might try to create would be an incredible disappointment after seeing the true beauty Jess possessed.
As Michael reached her destination, she peeled away the last bit of clothing hiding Jess from her view and tossed the panties behind her. She inhaled Jess’s scent and almost came without any physical contact. Dipping her finger inside Jess, Michael spread Jess’s juices over her folds and up to her clit. Jess arched her back again and ground her luscious hips into the mattress.
Michael’s mouth watered as she lowered her mouth, looking up at Jess. They locked eyes at the first touch of Michael’s tongue on her. Slowly moving her tongue up and down Jess’s sex, she could not turn her eyes away. This was the woman who made her feel whole. She felt more determined than ever to make this something Jess would always remember. Michael wanted to show her that no one had ever really made love to her before. Or ever would again. Michael shut her eyes and put her all into giving pleasure to the woman who gave her life meaning.
Jess began to pump her hips harder into Michael and grabbed fistfuls of the sheet. Jess threw her head back and screamed in a loud, uninhibited cry. She locked her thighs around Michael’s head. Michael came undone as she felt Jess’s muscles tighten around her tongue.
Michael wanted to slow down, and she wanted to give Jess time to recover, but she had to answer the call of her own body and her own heart. Confessing a deep secret after years of silence, her body shook. She moved up the bed and pressed her crotch into Jess. She felt the throbbing in Jess’s center as she began to thrust against Jess’s hips. They fit together perfectly. Michael shuddered at the warmth spreading through her. Jess writhed beneath her and slipped her hand between their moving bodies. Jess cupped Michael and her head fell forward to rest on Jess’s shoulder as she stopped moving altogether.
“Don’t hold back, Michael. Kiss me.” Jess attacked her mouth as she slipped her fingers inside Michael. Every muscle in her body threatened to give way as Jess claimed her mouth and her body.
Michael knew her face was slack, mouth hanging open. She didn’t care. “Harder,” she commanded on a sharp exhale.
With that, Jess flipped her over, never taking her fingers out. Jess straddled Michael’s thighs, sitting up, one hand working Michael and the other grabbing her own breast. Forcing her eyes to stay open, she watched as Jess pulled and caressed her own nipple. Michael slapped Jess’s hand away and grabbed as much of her large breast as she could fit in her hand. That and the movement of Jess’s breasts as she pumped her hand sent Michael over the edge. She shot up and grabbed Jess’s shoulders as a powerful orgasm crashed through her body. Her legs shook as wave after wave of pleasure avalanched through her entire body.
A moment later Michael collapsed on the side of the bed, pulling Jess with her. “Good God.” Michael nuzzled her face into Jess’s neck.
“Michael. Was that…real?” Jess’s words were punctuated with soft breaths and moans. She ran her fingers up and down Michael’s sweat-dampened stomach in slow circles as both of their heart rates slowed.
“Let’s do it again just to make sure.” Michael grinned as she moved to capture Jess’s nipple between her lips.
*
Hours later, after Jess had fallen asleep, Michael sat naked at the window across from the bed. Crumpled papers scattered on the floor all around her. Her hands cramped after countless attempts to sketch Jess’s sleeping form. No lines were perfect enough, no stroke gentle enough. Setting aside her sketchbook, Michael ran her hands through her hair and relived the most intense experience of her life. This was beyond sex. This was even beyond making love. This was a life-changing, all-consuming, soul-searing event that she never thought she would be fortunate enough to experience. It had outshined any fantasies or dreams. Making love to Jess, touching her body, capturing her at last was something that Michael knew had changed her forever.
Michael pulled on her briefs and wandered to the kitchen in sea
rch of something to drink. What had this experience meant for Jess? Michael knew Jess loved her as a friend, but what had changed? Could they have suddenly wandered off the track of their friendship and ended up in fuck-buddy territory? Avoiding details of Jess’s love life was an active habit of Michael’s, so she couldn’t speculate on her sexual habits. Forgoing beer, Michael opened the freezer and pulled out the vodka she kept on hand. Had Jess slept with friends at FSU? Had Stevie slept with Jess the night of the party? What about Morgan? Images of Stevie kissing Jess, and then Morgan kissing Jess invaded her mind.
Trying not to break the shot glass, Michael swallowed two shots before capping the bottle. She was trembling again, but not from pleasure. Imaging Jess being as uninhibited and responsive to anyone else’s touch filled her with rage. If she thought Jess would sleep through it, she’d throw the vodka bottle across the room, but instead returned it to the freezer.
Michael took pride in being self-aware. She knew she was hardheaded and stubborn, she knew she could be standoffish, and she lately knew she’d been drinking too much. Along with this self-awareness came self-preservation. Things had been unraveling before her eyes the past few weeks and tonight they had come to a head. After tonight, Michael could not fathom the crushing blow that was coming when Jess realized this was a mistake—when she realized Michael could never measure up. Surviving that was something Michael knew would be impossible.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Before her eyes even opened, Jess smiled and stretched. Her smile widened as she registered her sore and well sexed muscles. The sun shining on her bare skin told her it must be nearing nine o’clock. Sliding her arm to the other side of the bed, she was surprised to find it empty and cold. She rubbed sleep from her eyes and glanced around the space for Michael. Michael. The events of last night came rushing back, and Jess felt her body respond.
Jess had slept with a few girlfriends before, and even a near stranger once, but she had never experienced anything like making love with Michael. The connection she felt with Michael last night was intense and palpable. The look in her eyes and the urgency of her movements. While she had been fantasizing about Michael since that first kiss, nothing could have prepared her for their fiery passion and explosive lovemaking.
As Jess stretched her arms and yawned, the sheet fell exposing her tender breasts. A blush crept up her neck as she noticed marks and love bites on her chest. Jess recalled Michael waking her up in the middle of the night as her tongue made its way down Jess’s body. Jess had been beyond exhaustion, but something about the frantic movement of Michael’s hands and her heated skin made her forget about her tiredness and immediately respond to Michael’s mouth. Jess had never come more than once with a lover, and she had never been so relentlessly pleasured by someone. She had read about these kinds of things in magazines and books, yet never experienced anything like that in her own life. It had been a while since she had been with someone intimately, but she knew there was more to it than just her recent bout of abstinence.
Flopping back on the pillow and squeezing her eyes shut tight, Jess tried to relive every feeling, sensation, and touch that she could. Michael was more passionate than Jess could have hoped or even imagined. It was almost as if she was obsessed with bringing Jess pleasure. And by the sound of Michael’s moans and the urgent thrust of her hips, Jess could tell that her own desire and release was driving Michael mad.
As much as she didn’t want to consider it, Jess wondered if Michael had experiences like this often. Jess had never thought of Michael with another woman, and in light of last night, she really didn’t want to start visualizing that now. Could it be that Michael was that passionate and responsive with everyone? Jess had no doubt in her mind that all Michael’s women were probably as responsive to Michael’s touch as she had been. How could they not be?
Pulling the sheet up to cover her breasts, Jess moaned as the light fabric caressed her sensitive nipples. She smiled to herself and squeezed her thighs together as she was overcome with a sudden wave of arousal. Michael’s hands had been calloused from working with tools and stone. The rough strength of Michael’s hands as she squeezed and rubbed Jess’s flesh had been almost enough to send her over the edge. Jess remembered shutting her eyes tight, praying for the ability to make it last. To draw it out. The culminating event of years, of never letting herself fully realize how she truly felt about Michael.
For the first time she thought about what this meant for their friendship. What did it mean for them? She wondered what last night had meant to Michael and how she would react now that the morning was here. When Michael wouldn’t discuss the kiss they shared, Jess was hurt. But this was much more than a kiss, and Jess would force Michael to tell her how she truly felt. Jess was relieved she had taken the Tuesday and Wednesday after Memorial Day off, even though it was frowned upon by her principal. They would have a lot to talk about before Michael left for New York.
New York!
Jess reached over to the low bedside table grabbing her cell phone as disappointment gripped her, replacing the pleasant arousal from only a moment ago. 9:21. Michael’s flight left at eight thirty. Glancing toward the closet she didn’t see Michael’s bags anywhere. Why would she leave without saying good-bye? After everything that happened last night? Jumping out of the bed, Jess wrapped the sheet around herself and wandered out of the bedroom.
“Michael?” Jess said as she rounded the corner to the kitchen, the sheet trailing on the floor behind her. The thought of having to wait two months until she could be naked with Michael again made her whine out loud. Maybe Michael would invite her up to New York for a long weekend? Or longer? Her summer vacation would start soon. Of course Jess didn’t want to distract Michael from her work, but how could they be apart that long, knowing how explosive things were?
Jess suppressed a goofy grin when she saw the sketch and folded note on the counter. Who knew Michael was such a romantic? Securing the sheet more tightly around her, Jess concentrated on taking in the details, delicately tracing the lines of the drawing with her finger. It appeared to be a charcoal sketch of her, which surprised Jess because Michael didn’t use it often. The lines of her face were serene with sleep, and wisps of her hair hung over her eyes. Her lips were heavily shaded making them look plumper than usual, probably due to all the kissing and biting. She looked satisfied and loved. She looked beautiful. Was this how Michael saw her? Still smiling, Jess set the sketch aside and picked up the note. Glancing at the two words written in Michael’s handwriting, Jess was befuddled.
I’m sorry.
Wait…sorry? Sorry for what? Oh, my God. She regrets it.
Jess’s stomach threatened to empty. Here she was, dressed in a sheet in Michael’s apartment, by herself, after the most amazing and life affirming event in her life. Why did this keep happening? Why did she keep allowing herself to imagine a deep-rooted romantic connection with Michael, when in truth she was just being a naive idealist? Who falls in love with their best friend and expects those feelings to be returned? Could she have misread everything? Maybe Michael wasn’t in love with her, but she never would have imagined Michael could make love like that and then disregard everything in the light of day. Jess was almost as angry with herself as she was with Michael.
Shoving the drawing and note to the floor, Jess got dressed in a hurry and stormed out, hoping her anger would eclipse the heartbreak she knew would follow.
*
Everything seemed to be happening in some sort of hazy slow motion. Michael didn’t remember arriving at the airport or boarding the plane. As the seat belt light chimed, Michael turned and looked out the small window. The skyline of New York City held no luster for Michael as the plane made its descent to the JFK airport. Michael stared straight ahead as the woman next to her leaned over to take pictures of the big city coming into view.
“I’m so excited! Have you been to New York before?” The woman seemed like a lovely person, but Michael couldn’t help feeling annoyed a
s she shook her head. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to breathe. “Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” The woman sighed as she leaned back to tighten her seat belt. Regret and longing twisted Michael’s insides as she thought of Jess, tangled in sheets, one bare leg exposed. Michael had slowly, and quietly, gotten ready to leave that morning. Jess’s ivory skin glowed next to the dark fabric of her sheets and Michael itched to sketch her again before making her cowardly exit. She half hoped Jess would wake up and beg Michael to take her again before she had to go. But she hadn’t. And Michael knew it was for the best.
She didn’t know what had come over Jess last night, but she knew in the morning, Jess would have time to think about her actions. Time to think about Michael’s actions and what they meant for them and for their friendship. She knew Jess didn’t love her, and it took everything Michael had in her not to declare her love for Jess over and over as they made love. Thank God she at least saved herself that embarrassment. Like in her art, she let her hands do the talking. Michael had been naked and in pain from the pleasure of touching Jess everywhere and it was so much better than any sculpture, painting, or sketch. She could not bear to hear Jess utter the word “mistake” or some variation to describe the night they had shared. So she ran. It was for the best.
The bump and rumble of the less-than-perfect landing only increased her sour mood. Usually after a night of sex, even mediocre sex, Michael was happy, focused and productive. This morning, after sex that had elevated her to a spiritual orbit, she could hardly go a minute without grinding her teeth. Hoping to avoid any further chatter from her cheery neighbor, Michael stared out the window as the plane slowed.
How could she have been so stupid? So selfish? She had succumbed to her outrageous sexual needs and ruined the best thing in her entire life. Now that the situation had presented itself, it made sense to Michael why she had never been able to even consider a sexual relationship with Jess. Michael would never be able to be near Jess again. Not after last night. Not after knowing what her lips and her skin felt like; not after knowing what she sounded like as she came, screaming Michael’s name and trembling. Not after feeling her from the inside.