by Paula Mowery
Hope immediately noticed Sean’s casual dress. A heaviness weighed in her chest. Grace rushed in front of her as soon as she stepped inside the door. The little girl spun around. “I think he did a good job on my hair this time. What do you think, Hope?”
“Hmmm. I think you’re right. He’s learning, huh?”
“Yep.” Grace smiled wide.
Sean bowed dramatically, waving his arm in front of him like a devoted knight. As he stood straight again, he looked Hope in the eyes. “Thank you for taking Grace with you.” He diverted his gaze. “She needs to go.”
“You’re welcome.”
“When you two get back, I’m taking us out for Sunday lunch.”
Hope didn’t want him to feel he owed her in any way. “No, I can pick up something.”
“Nonsense, I want you to come.”
His gaze met hers and melted away at her resolve to not allow him to get to her. She sighed. “Okay. We’ll be back a little after noon.”
Sean was ready when Hope and Grace returned. The three piled into his car, and Grace chattered about her Sunday school teacher and all of the boys and girls she had met. She barely slowed while eating. As they finished their meal, Grace switched the tone of her monologue.
“You know what? A girl got baptatized today. Can I do that?”
The color drained from Sean’s face, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Would he answer her? It wasn’t Hope’s place to jump in, though she wanted to. The waitress appeared with the ticket, which jolted Sean from his silent daze.
He waved the bill. “I’ll pay this and meet you all at the car.”
Hope stood, grabbed her purse, took Grace’s hand, and led her outside.
The car was quiet as Sean pulled from the restaurant parking lot.
“I just remembered something,” Hope said. “Grace’s Sunday school teacher asked where she would be attending kindergarten.”
Sean glanced at Hope and then quickly back to the road. “Kindergarten? Good grief. I didn’t think about her being old enough for school.”
“I’m five,” Grace said emphatically.
“The church has kindergarten classes. It’s really a good program.” Hope bit her lip. Sean might not want Grace to go to a church school.
“What do I need to do?” His tone suggested interest.
“I can get you a brochure.”
“Yeah, that would be great. Not to change the subject, but I just remembered this. My mom and dad are having a cookout next Sunday afternoon. They wondered if you’d come?”
Did Sean want her to go or was this an invitation only from his parents? Could she continue to be near Sean without giving in to her attraction to him?
“You hafta come,” Grace called from the backseat.
Sean grinned. “Yeah, you hafta come.”
“I know, we can all go to church together and then to the picnic.” Grace’s voice was animated. “Please?”
Sean’s grin was gone. “We’ll see.”
Hope silently cheered Grace on.
* * *
Sunday morning Sean awaited Hope’s arrival donned in khakis and a blazer. Grace had finally worn him down over the last several weeks. He would attend church with her and Hope today. What could it hurt? Lots of the people who sat in the pews were just as much a hypocrite as he was. The only difference was he wouldn’t pretend to be saintly on Sunday and then live opposite the other six days. He was going to appease Grace.
Hope’s gaze scanned him head to toe, and her eyes widened.
“Yes, I’m going with you today, but don’t expect it to become a habit.”
A smile lit Hope’s face, weakening his knees. Did she know what she did to him? But, her faith was central in her life, which meant he had a zero percent chance. His parents had preached against Christians being yoked with unbelievers. How ironic, he still remembered the lingo.
With Grace dropped off at Children’s Church, he followed Hope to the sanctuary. As he entered the double doors, his stomach tightened. He took a deep breath and let it out. What was wrong with him? He wouldn’t explode or be struck by lightning.
He spotted his mother up ahead. She blinked her eyes, and her mouth gaped.
“Hello, Mother.”
She barreled toward him, grabbing him in an embrace. She pulled back. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Your granddaughter wore me down this time.”
Identifying Grace as her granddaughter had slipped out unexpectedly. It was true, but the reality had yet to sink in for him. He was a daddy.
They took their seats on the Holland pew. After similar shocked reactions to his presence from his brother and sister-in-law, the service began.
Everything went well until the pastor began speaking on the prodigal son.
“That son strayed, but his new lifestyle didn’t turn out as well as he thought. It seemed good at first, but it let him down.”
The empty place inside Sean screamed out in response to the pastor’s words. He shifted in the seat.
“The Bible says that the young man came to the end of himself, came to his senses, and headed back to his father’s house.”
The pastor moved from behind the pulpit and descended to the floor. Was his gaze fixed on Sean? Sean’s hands were wet. He swiped them on his khakis.
“Folks, let me bring it to a personal level.”
Sean’s chest tightened.
“We stray from our Heavenly Father, because the world lures us and seems promising. But we quickly discover that it doesn’t satisfy or fulfill our longing.”
Sweat trickled down the back of Sean’s neck.
“The wonderful thing is when we realize this world won’t fulfill, our Heavenly Father awaits us with open arms.”
Sean’s pulse pounded in his ears.
The congregation stood for a time of invitation. Sean gripped the back of the pew in front of him and resisted the draw of the altar. He leaned near Hope’s ear and whispered. “Could you get Grace? I’ll meet you at the car.”
He dashed for the exit and sprinted to the car. He leaned against the driver-side door and took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart.
* * *
Hope rushed to the car after the benediction. His grip on the pew-back and his hustled retreat from the sanctuary proved to her that God was getting through to Sean. Between the Lord and Grace tugging at his heart, surely he would see the Light and return to a relationship with Christ. She struggled not to pray for this turn around for her own selfish motives. This wasn’t about her attraction or compatibility. This was about Sean’s heart, eternity, and relationship with the Heavenly Father.
Still a desire burned to be more than just a help with Grace’s care.
When she arrived at Sean’s car, he was already buckled in. She secured Grace in the back and slid into the passenger seat.
Sean made no eye contact. “I thought we might want to change clothes before we head to the picnic at mom and dad’s house.” His tone was even and deliberate.
“That’s a good idea. I brought some jeans and a T-shirt. They’re in my car back at your place.” She studied his profile.
“Great. Okay.” His gaze concentrated forward as he started the car and headed out of the parking lot.
All was silent until Grace’s little high-pitched voice began telling about everything that had happened during Children’s Church. As she chattered on, Sean’s shoulders and face visibly softened.
Would Hope have the opportunity to talk to him about the sermon’s effect on him? Should she? She raised a silent prayer for guidance.
* * *
Hope absorbed the family atmosphere at the Hollands’. She listened to the banter of the adults and the giggles from Grace and Miranda’s play. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back, scolding her envy. The sun drooped low as evening approached.
“We better get going. Grace starts kindergarten tomorrow,” Sean announced.
A drawn-out whine emitted from the t
wo girls.
“Aw, come on, the two of you will be in the same class in the morning,” Sean’s brother, Richard, cut in.
At that reminder the two girls clasped hands, jumped up and down, and squealed. Sean stuck a finger in his ear and pursed his lips. “Not used to that yet.”
Hope chuckled.
As they made their way to the car, Sean lightly touched Hope’s elbow. “You’ll stay long enough to help with Grace’s bath, won’t you?”
“Sure.” Hope nodded.
They had just started the short drive to Sean’s when Grace spoke up from the back seat. “Did you know that Miranda got saved and babtatized?”
“Um, yeah, I think I remember Nana telling me about that,” Sean said.
“Well, I want to be saved and babtatized, too. I love Jesus.”
Sean’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles whitened. Hope’s pulse kicked up a notch. She silently asked God if she should speak, but his Spirit held her back.
* * *
Sean paused. Would Hope answer Grace’s question and get him off the hook? Somewhere deep inside, his resistance let go like the tumbling of a brick wall. A warmth spread through his chest like a wave suddenly set free. In his spirit he uttered, Oh God.
That was the only invitation needed. He pulled into a parking space at his condo complex, switched off the engine, and turned to face Grace.
“Sweetie, do you know that Jesus died for you?”
“Yeah. I know that. He died for me, and I ask Him to forgive my bad stuff, and then He comes to live in me and help me. And, one day I’ll go to Heaven to see Mommy.”
Hope sniffed. Sean glanced at her. Tears flowed down her cheeks. Her eyes met his. He returned his gaze to Grace. “I do believe you’ve got it. Have you prayed and told Him this? Have you asked Him into your heart?”
“No, but I can right here, right?”
Sean shrugged. “Sure.”
Grace extended her hands, one toward him, the other toward Hope. “Give me your hands.”
They each took one of her hands. Sean reached for Hope’s other hand, meeting her gaze. She grasped his hand and smiled though tears that trickled down her face. He looked back at Grace, nodded, and bowed his head. His daughter’s prayer rang with pure child-like faith. A knot formed in his throat. Sean hadn’t been privy to Grace’s birth, but God had provided him this special moment of her new birth.
He couldn’t suppress the Truth any longer.
When Grace said amen, Sean burst from his seat, grabbing her from her booster. He held her close and swung her around in circles.
Hope appeared at his side. He wrapped her waist with one arm, still holding Grace in the other, and squeezed. No words came as he looked into Hope’s glistening eyes. They finally made their way inside. Hope looked from Grace to him. “I’m so proud and happy for both of you.” Her lip quivered.
He gazed into Hope’s eyes. “Honestly, I think it took more faith not to believe.”
After her bath, Grace couldn’t keep her eyes open. Sean picked her up and carried her limp body to her bed. Hope followed, stepping in front of him to turn down the bed covers. As he eased her onto her pillow, her lips curled into a slight smile. Sean stifled a laugh.
“I love you, Daddy.” Her voice was low but clear. Sean’s breath caught in his throat. She snuggled her stuffed bear, and her breathing became immediately even.
He glanced at Hope and motioned toward the hall with a nod. Standing outside Grace’s door, he gazed in. “That’s the first time she’s called me Daddy,” he whispered.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Sean’s cell phone buzzed as he got back into his car after dropping Grace at school. He glanced at the screen. Mrs. Collins, the lawyer. Wonder why she’s calling?
“Hello, this is Sean Holland.”
“Mr. Holland, this is Mrs. Collins.” Her voice was serious. “Do you have a moment today to stop by my office?”
“Yes. Are you available right now?”
“Yes, that would be fine.”
“Do I need to know something?”
“I’d prefer to speak to you in person, if you don’t mind.”
Sean’s stomach tightened. What was this all about? He clenched the steering wheel and pushed beyond the speed limit. Stepping into the law office’s lobby, he was escorted directly to Mrs. Collin’s office. She stood, extending her hand. After a quick shake, she plopped back into her desk chair.
“Please, have a seat.”
Sean eased into one of two chairs facing the desk. “What’s this all about?”
“I wanted to make sure you knew that Grace’s grandmother is planning on filing for custody.”
“But I was appointed her guardian in the will.”
“Yes, however, she can file. Between you and me, Mrs. Williams has recently remarried, and she discovered there is money set aside for Grace. I think that’s what she’s after.”
“But, she doesn’t have a chance, right?” Sean scooted to the edge of the seat.
“Well, she is a relative. Your name isn’t on Grace’s birth certificate.”
“Mrs. Collins, cut to the chase. We both know Tiffany wanted Grace with me.”
“Of course, it would look better if you were married, but…” She shook her head. “You’ll appear in front of a judge who will decide what’s best.”
“So, we’re fine?”
“A lot depends on which judge presides and how well Mrs. Williams presents herself and her husband as a better home.”
Sean’s throat constricted.
“I’ll be in touch,” the lawyer said.
Sean trudged to his car and sat in the driver’s seat, his forehead on the steering wheel. He couldn’t lose Grace now. She called him Daddy. He was starting to get the hang of a little girl’s routine and even fixing hair. How could he make sure he kept his little girl? His mind whirled. He sighed and raised his head. There was one way.
* * *
Hope rushed to shower and change. Sean had called and asked her to supper. His tone was guarded or serious. She couldn’t quite determine which, but there was something about his voice that let her know this would be more than just dining out. He had even arranged for Grace to stay with his parents. There was a knock on her door. She glanced at her watch. He was early. Her stomach quivered, and she gnawed her bottom lip. She took a deep breath, plastered on a smile, and flung the door open.
“Hi. I’m a bit early. Sorry about that.” Sean ducked his head slightly and gazed at her, brows raised.
Hope shook her head. “It’s fine. I’ll just be a minute. Have a seat.” She jogged back to the bathroom and brushed through her hair again. She stared at her reflection, then rolled her eyes. Did Sean have any feelings toward her other than as a friend and help with Grace? She had to know. Soon.
Maybe tonight would afford a moment to discover his intentions. Could she be brave enough to ask? Would his answer hurt? She prayed for direction and courage.
After being seated at a local restaurant, Sean leaned forward, locking her gaze with his.
“Something’s come up with Grace.” He paused, a pained expression on his face.
Hope instinctively placed her hand on his arm. “What is it?”
“Tiffany’s mother has remarried and obviously found out there is money set aside for Grace. She’s going to try to get custody.”
Hope’s chest tightened. “But, you have the letter, so she can’t follow through, right?”
“My lawyer says it depends on the judge and which is deemed more of a family.” He ran his fingers through his hair and plopped his arm back onto the table. “I have to look like the better home.” His gaze bore into her. He kept silent as if awaiting a reply.
“Did the lawyer give you any advice on what to do?”
Sean nodded, and his eyes darted everywhere except to her.
Hope leaned over the table closer to him, forcing his gaze to meet hers. “Sean, tell me.”
“She said I wou
ld fare better if I were married, giving Grace two parents.”
Hope’s heart flip-flopped. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?
He reached for her hand, grasping it and caressing it with his thumb. “I can’t believe I would even ask this of you, but it’s all I can think about.”
A tremble spread through her body.
“And, I actually feel it would be good for Grace. Besides, we spend a lot of time together anyway.” He paused and sat up straighter. “Would you marry me? For Grace’s sake?”
Just for Grace’s sake? Would this be a complete disaster? Sean hadn’t mentioned love for her. Should she question that? She feared his answer. But, Hope couldn’t imagine the horror for Grace if she were to lose another parent. Could her heart handle a fake marriage when she really yearned for the real thing with Sean? Where was that warning feeling from the Holy Spirit she was sure she should feel? “Okay…yes.”
Sean’s face lit up, and his eyes danced. He grabbed both of her hands and squeezed. “I thought we could talk to the preacher, maybe do it in his office.”
Hope nodded.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A week later, Hope stood next to Sean in the pastor’s office flanked by Sean’s parents and Grace as witnesses. The ceremony was short and sweet. When the pastor announced that Sean could kiss his bride, Hope’s breath caught in her throat.
Sean gazed into her eyes. His expression softened, and he planted a soft kiss on her lips, causing a tingling sensation to spread through her chest. He embraced her, and the warmth and feel of his body pressed to hers was nearly intoxicating. Tears stung her eyes. How could he be such a good actor? That felt like the real thing. She wished it were.
The tender moment ended with hugs and congratulations. Little arms wrapped Hope’s leg. She knelt and Grace engulfed her in a hug.
“I do wish you would at least let us take Grace tonight so you two can be alone,” Sean’s mother said.
Sean glanced at Hope and then looked at Mrs. Holland. “We’ll get the opportunity later. Work schedules aren’t conducive right now.”
Grace’s hand slipped into Hope’s and reached for Sean’s. “Let’s go eat. Today we should get dessert because it’s a special ’ccasion.”