Face the past.
Ryan’s words rang in her head. It was funny. Her fifteen-year-old gave her the wisest words of all.
Kay needed to deal with her demons so she could pull herself together. If she had any hopes of not only winning the election but moving on with her life, she needed to face the past.
And she was facing it with Gloria at her side.
Kay knew Gloria had been shocked to get the call yesterday asking if Kay could go see Jamal. Not only had Gloria said yes, but she’d offered to come along since she said Jamal knew and might still be angry. So now the two of them sat together once again. But this time they both were nervous. They’d lived a lifetime of deception and it was time to face the consequences.
The clank of heavy metal signaled the arrival of Jamal. They turned to the door as a guard guided him in. Kay couldn’t help but look at the shackles. Usually the sight didn’t bother her. But today she wanted to say, “Are those really necessary?” Yet she remained silent.
“Hi, sweetie.” Gloria stood to hug Jamal. Before the guard could stop her, he ducked out of her reach. The move caused her face to fill with pain and for a moment, Kay’s heart went out to her.
Gloria slid back down into her seat as Jamal glared at Kay. He didn’t look at Gloria as he sat down.
“So, it’s true?” was all he said.
Kay didn’t know how she was supposed to answer that. How did she tell her son that she’d given him up without a fight?
Gloria leaned forward. “Let us explain.”
Jamal looked at her, his words hard, his tone dry. “No disrespect, Ma, or rather, Gloria, but I think you’ve given me enough lies to last me the rest of my life. So if you don’t mind”—he turned and glared at Kay—“I’d like my real mother to tell me the truth. You are my real mother, right?”
Kay didn’t know what to say.
Jamal choked back his words. “You are my real mother, right?” He pounded the table.
“Hey, hey, hey!” the guard said, causing Jamal to take a deep breath, then lean back and wait for her answer.
“Gloria is your real mother in every sense of the word,” Kay said.
“Did you give birth to me?” he snarled.
Kay nodded.
“Wow.” He released a pained laugh. “So, my daddy really did get another woman pregnant. The good minister got another woman pregnant,” he repeated as if he was still trying to process the news. “Where is good ol’ daddy?” Jamal said, finally looking at Gloria. “He didn’t have a self-righteous speech he wanted to come give me?”
“Jamal, I understand you’re bitter,” Gloria began.
“You don’t understand anything!” he snapped. “I have spent my life wondering what I did to that man to make him hate me.”
“He didn’t hate you.”
Kay was stunned by that revelation. Elton had had the audacity to hold a grudge against his son?
“Now I find out all I did was be born?” Jamal continued. “He despised me because I brought shame to him? He’s the one who got a woman other than his wife pregnant, but I brought shame?”
“He loves you,” Gloria said, her voice shaking.
“Kinda like he loved little teenage girls?” His words made Kay cringe. She felt like she should interject, but she would never come to the defense of Elton Jones.
“Yeah, I read the paper,” Jamal continued. “Everybody’s talking about it. What are the odds? The cop-killing kid was being prosecuted by the mother that gave him up for adoption after being raped by her pastor. That sounds like some jacked-up B-movie.”
“Jamal . . .” Gloria said.
“No!” he yelled, eliciting another piercing glare from the guard. “Why isn’t he here? Why hasn’t Dad been to see me? He’s a coward, that’s why.”
“Your father made mistakes. But he loves you,” Gloria said. Kay could tell that she was now just saying words to try to ease Jamal’s anger.
“That’s what I was. A constant reminder of his sin.” Jamal laughed. “That’s why he hated me.” Before Gloria could say anything else, Jamal spun in Kay’s direction. “Why are you here?”
“I just . . . I don’t know.”
“Me, either. I read the newspaper. You living it up in a life of luxury, raising a stepson while pretending your real son doesn’t exist.” His words were soaked with hatred and each syllable dug into Kay’s soul.
“Y-you don’t understand what it was like . . .” Kay stammered.
“How do you know I don’t know what it’s like to be raped?” He sneered. “I’m fresh meat in a jail full of criminals.”
Gloria let out a muffled cry and Kay felt a pang in her heart.
“Jamal, just—”
His voice quivered. “I’ve felt out of place for years. I didn’t know why. I thought I was going crazy. If my God-fearing parents had just been honest, maybe I wouldn’t have spent years torturing myself.”
“Jamal, I’m so—”
“You!” His words caused Gloria to jump back. “You don’t get to talk to me. I’m tired of the adults in my life lying to me. My daddy is a rapist. My biological mother is a coward. And the woman that raised me is a liar. I’m freakin’ doomed.”
“Jamal . . .”
He scooted back, knocking over the chair as he stood. “Matter of fact, let me up outta here!” He made his way to the door, but then stopped and turned back to face them. “Don’t come back here. Either one of you. My whole existence has been a lie. I’ma tell my attorney to take a plea. I’d rather rot in here than see either one of you again.”
Kay didn’t realize she was trembling as he walked out. She knew he was hurt, but she never imagined the toll it would take on him. She felt horrible that all this time, as she’d thought about what having him did to her, she’d never considered what giving up Jamal had done to him.
56
* * *
* * *
Gloria felt a myriad of emotions. Relief, nervousness, fear. She looked to her left and seeing Phillip gave her strength.
The visit with Jamal had left her in a pit of despair. But the call from Phillip had lifted her spirits.
She’d been ecstatic when he’d told her that if they would have him, he’d be honored to get back on the case. He apologized to her for abandoning them.
From there he’d gone to work. He’d spent the last three days wheeling and dealing. She told him any deal that would give Jamal the least amount of jail time, she was all for. And they thought they’d found it, reaching a deal with the prosecutor for Involuntary Manslaughter.
“So, are all the parties here?” Judge Raymond asked. Harold, the former second chair, stood.
“We are, Your Honor.”
Gloria sat behind Phillip and Jamal on the opposite side of the courtroom. It pained her that Jamal didn’t look her way, but she knew getting over her betrayal would take him some time. But she had nothing but time. She would love him past his pain. And no matter how cold he acted, how angry he got, she’d never give up.
“Will the defendant please rise?” Judge Raymond said. “Jamal Jones, it is my understanding that you have accepted Involuntary Manslaughter charges?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” he said.
Judge Raymond looked over at Harold. “And what is the state’s position?”
“Your Honor, the state is willing to accept the charge,” Harold replied. He seemed relieved that the case wasn’t going to court.
“Fine. I will review the case and come up with an appropriate sentence. In the meantime, I will allow the defendant to be released on bail until sentencing. Bail is set at one hundred thousand dollars.”
“What?” Gloria exclaimed.
“Your Honor,” Phillip began. They had expected bail at no more than $20,000 and Gloria was prepared with the ten percent. But she had no idea where she�
��d get another $8,000.
“Yes, Counselor?” Judge Raymond said.
“I implore you to reconsider the bail amount. My client is not from a wealthy family and would be hard-pressed to come up with that bail.”
“Counselor, have you forgotten that a police officer is dead? Regardless of the why, he’s dead, and his family would not appreciate such a meager bail. So my order stands. If the defendant cannot make bail he shall remain in the state’s custody until he can.”
“He can make it.”
They all turned to see Elton standing in the back of the room.
“We can post the bail,” Elton said. “I will put our house up, whatever it takes.”
Relief filled Gloria’s body. Jamal even looked shocked. “Okay,” the judge said. “Then it’s settled. We’ll see all parties back here in a week for sentencing.”
She banged her gavel, dismissing them.
Gloria jumped up and wrapped her arms around Jamal’s neck. He nodded but didn’t reply. His eyes were no longer on her, though. He was looking at his father.
Gloria looked over her shoulder as a teary-eyed Elton eased out through the courtroom door. She didn’t know what the future held for them, or even if they had a future. She knew the road to healing would be a long and treacherous one. But Elton needed to heal himself first. They’d never be a family again, that much she knew, but maybe they could mend some of the damage they’d caused. She shook off all thoughts of Elton and turned to Phillip.
“Okay, what do I need to do? I just want to get my baby out of here.”
Phillip smiled at both of them. “Jamal, just hang on a few more hours. We’re going to work on getting your bond posted, then we’ll work on getting you home.”
That made him lose his smile. “I’m not going back to Jasper,” he said.
Gloria stepped toward him. She already knew they couldn’t go back there. Between the cops out for blood, the gossiping church members, and Elton, there was nothing for Gloria or Jamal in Jasper.
“Don’t worry, honey. Mama has it all taken care of. Today—as soon as you’re released—you and I will begin the rest of our lives.”
57
* * *
* * *
Kay was back in the courtroom. But this time, she was on the defendant’s side. The media had been having a field day, with Marty leading the battle cry of how this was a “case of blatant injustice.” As if he cared about this case. But he wanted to further drag her name any way he could. Loni had launched a full-scale campaign to try to boost her numbers back up since they were still down from the debate. After weeks of a solid lead, she was now neck-and-neck with Marty and the election was just a week away.
Kay had resolved that whatever was to be was to be. She still wanted to win but she decided that she’d be content in the DA’s office. That’s if Sam even wanted her to stay. If this thing ended too ugly with Jamal’s sentencing hearing, so might her career in the DA’s office. But that was another thing she couldn’t worry about.
She’d also done something that she’d never done before—she’d gone to Sam on Jamal’s behalf. She’d convinced him that since the charges against Dix and Brian had been dropped, the quickest way to make this case disappear was to settle for a lesser charge.
“All rise,” the bailiff called out as Judge Raymond entered.
Kay stood along with everyone else in the courtroom. Everyone but Elton, that is. Gloria had asked Kay to come to the sentencing hearing, but the only way Kay would agree to that was if Elton stayed away. Gloria said he’d been upset at the request but he understood, especially when Gloria reminded him that the media would be there and would try to get an interview with him. Officer Wilkins’s family along with half the Jasper police force sat on the other side of the courtroom.
“You may be seated,” the judge said as she took a seat at the bench.
Jamal glanced over his shoulder at them. Or rather Gloria. Kay wanted to believe he was looking at her, but when she saw the love in Gloria’s eyes, she knew better. Gloria blew him a kiss, then clutched her hands together in a prayer mode. That woman loved her son. Loved their son. Kay had never thought about how blessed Jamal was to have grown up with such a loving mother and she was grateful that Gloria was able to do what she had not.
Kay was glad that the judge had closed the courtroom to the media. From what she’d been told, the bail hearing had been hard enough for Jamal. Having to deal with media while he was sentenced would only make things worse.
“Counselor, I understand that you have reached a sentencing agreement?” the judge asked.
“Yes, Your Honor,” Phillip said.
Judge Raymond turned to Harold, the ADA. “Are the terms agreeable to the District Attorney’s Office?”
Harold stood. “Yes, Your Honor, we find the terms satisfactory,” he said. Usually in nonjury cases, she issued the sentence, but she’d allowed the two sides to work this out.
“Will the defendant please rise?” the judge said.
Both Jamal and Phillip stood. Gloria instinctively took Kay’s hand. Surprisingly, Kay found comfort in her touch.
“Young man, you need to consider yourself very lucky,” the judge said. “There are hundreds of young men who come through my courtroom who never get this opportunity. I hope you know how blessed you are.”
The judge looked over at the Wilkins family, who sat teary-eyed clutching one another. “I understand that no punishment can bring back your loved one. And it is heartfelt when I say I am sorry for your loss. However, I have to concur with the defense that this was indeed a tragic accident.” She turned back to Jamal. “I can only hope that one day you will overcome the thing that had you so fearful of police to the point that your immediate reaction was panic.” She turned toward the officers. “The same applies to police. It is my hope that your days of automatically stereotyping and assuming the worst when you see these young men become few and far between. I can only hope that one day that gap will be bridged so that we have no more tragic losses.”
Finished with her admonishment, Judge Raymond removed her glasses and stared at Jamal. “Mr. Jones, because this is your first offense, I am going to accept the Involuntary Manslaughter recommendation. You will serve three years’ probation. If you get into any kind of trouble, I promise you, I will make sure that you do time. I want you to seize your second chance.” The judge looked up at Kay and smiled. “And I understand that you have someone who you need to get to know.”
Her words made Kay’s heart flutter.
“Do you understand and agree with these terms?” Judge Raymond continued.
Phillip looked at Jamal, who nodded and said, “Yes, ma’am.”
The relief in his voice pierced Kay’s heart. And for the first time she really thought about what it felt like to be in his shoes. She felt awful about the Wilkins family, especially when she recalled the promise she made the little girl.
“Okay, then, your attorney will advise you of your next move. Court is adjourned.”
The courtroom erupted in chatter. Officer Wilkins’s widow glared at Kay as her father led her out of the courtroom.
“So, I’m done?” Jamal asked.
Phillip nodded. Gloria leaped from her seat and raced over to Jamal. “Thank you, Jesus!” Gloria held him close as both of them sobbed.
Kay didn’t realize that she was crying, too, until Phillip handed her a tissue. “We had a victory today,” Phillip said.
Kay looked at him and smiled. “We did.”
Part of her wanted Jamal to acknowledge her. She found herself longing to reach out and hug him as well, but she couldn’t move. That would have to come in due time.
Phillip did hug him and Kay’s heart flickered when Jamal flashed a small smile in her direction. Kay realized that was all that she would get but she would take that. For now. Gloria would always be his
mother, but Kay would do everything that she could to become his friend.
58
* * *
* * *
This speech wasn’t giving her the joy that she thought it would. Maybe that was because over the last few months, Kay had learned what really mattered in life. She had always been committed to her family, but now, she wanted that commitment to include the family that she’d forgotten.
But it did put a smile in her heart to watch Marty Simon conceding.
“You can tell it’s killing him,” Loni leaned in and whispered. They were standing around the big-screen TV in their hotel suite at the Hilton Americas, watching the election returns. The polls had been closed for four hours and Kay held a very strong lead, but Marty refused to concede until the very last moment.
“We did it,” Jeff said, appearing on the side of them.
“Yes, we all did,” Kay said with a smile. “Thank you all for holding it down while my life fell apart.”
“Shoot, I need to see if I can sell your story,” Jeff replied. “That needs to be my next task. I see a book, movie deal, the works in your future.”
Kay laughed. “No, I’m good. I have had enough publicity to last a lifetime.”
“And now, she has a job to do,” Phillip said, appearing on the side of her.
Kay hugged her husband, ecstatic that he had weathered this storm with her. Leslie was in the corner asleep and Ryan was talking to Jeff’s son. He’d been really depressed about losing his friendship with Charlie. Kay knew how he felt. She couldn’t believe that she was celebrating a monumental win without her best friend by her side. But she’d get her friendship with Camille back. She was going to make that a priority. They were going to pay for Charlie’s school because they could afford it. Then Kay would forgive Camille for all the horrible things she said, and for blaming Ryan. She’d forgive her because she didn’t have any room left in her heart for hate.
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