I jerked the truck over to the curb, killed the engine and climbed out. My legs were stiff with cold and my stomach rumbled, empty. I turned my back on Henry’s and crossed over to Cliff’s Dugout. I needed food, but I also knew damned well it wouldn’t fill all of the emptiness. But four fingers of whiskey would keep me warm enough to climb up to the hot springs. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I knew I’d end up there again, sooner or later. It was our place. Where Ember and I turned the spark between us into a full-blown conflagration. I hadn’t seen her for months that summer and when I did, she’d turned from a freckled, gangly kid into a copper-haired beauty that made my blood turn to fire in my veins. She’d given me her virginity. And I’d surrendered my heart. For life, it seemed…
“Well, hell if it ain’t Jace, you old son of a bitch. Where the hell you been, boy?” Cliff threw the soggy bar mop in his hand, hitting me squarely in the chest. I kicked it aside and sat down at the bar, smiling in spite of my mood. “Thought you disappeared with that sweet little honey o’ yourn an’ forgot alla us.” He grinned, showing a missing front tooth. “That, or went an’ got yourself burnt up the usual way.”
“Failure on both accounts,” I replied dryly and pointed to a bottle behind him. Cliff nodded, poured generously with a practiced hand and sat it down in front of me.
“You look thin,” he said. I downed half my glass and raised my brows skeptically. I was all of six foot three and 195 pounds of pure fucking muscle. “Awright,” he conceded, “you look… well, unhappy. But I got a sandwich here I’d be willing to share with ya’… somethin’ to keep that whiskey company…”
“I’m good,” I answered, emptying my glass. “I just came up for a soak in the springs and a few old memories.”
“Got both, that’s for certain,” he answered, eyeing me hard. “You back to make things right this time?” His wrinkles softened and his watery blue eyes crinkled at the corners. “Word gets around, ya’ know,” he said gently, “small place like this…”
I pushed the glass across the bar and held out one big hand. He shook it, holding on.
“Hot springs and memories,” I replied with a grudging smile. “Nothing more. Some things can’t ever be made right again. No matter what.
“And I don’t believe in second chances.”
3
Ember
Reilly pulled at his leash, half-dragging me out onto the sidewalk. Henry had been nice enough to let me bring him into the restaurant with me, and he’d spent almost the entire time whining and pacing under the table, tangling his leash around the table’s legs… and mine. Now he seemed determined to drag us both out into the street. Maybe he had a worse case of cabin fever than I did.
But at least our bellies were full. Henry made the biggest, best burger this side of the mountain range and I’d eaten almost the entire thing. I knew I needed to get the box of groceries home soon, but neither Reilly nor I were ready to go back quite yet. I pulled my hood up and tucked my hair inside. The stars were as bright and clear as I’d ever seen them. In the old days, I’d have brought my camera. But not anymore.
“Damn it, Rye, that’s the wrong way!” But it was too late, and Rye really wasn’t himself tonight. I lost my grip on his leash and he took off up the hill… between the pink bakery and the brown house with gingerbread trim. “Rye… come back, boy.” I whistled and called out uselessly. This was so not like him to disobey, but I knew exactly where he was headed. I’d even thought about going there myself… but I’d dismissed the idea almost as fast. Now there wasn’t any choice. I pulled my gloves out of my pocket and wrestled my hands into them. At least it wasn’t too far. And as long as I had to go anyway, a short soak in the springs would warm me up enough to make the long, cold drive home a little more comfortable.
“What the hell, Reilly?” I gasped, out of breath from the steep climb. He danced, putting his big, muddy feet up on my chest. His breath came out in visible clouds as he darted away and back again. “Well, all I can say is you’re not sleeping with me tonight, not until you’ve had a bath in the morning,” I grumbled, stripping off my jacket and my shirt in one swift movement. The air was almost freezing, the springs obvious from the dense steam rising off the hidden waters. Best thing was just to get in as fast as possible. I kicked off my boots and stripped off my jeans and socks. It took less than a second to lose panties and bra as well. Reilly had disappeared in the thick mist. Already in the water, no doubt. He loved it as much as Jason and I had. I could hear him splashing…
“Where are you?” I called out, easing my goosebumped flesh into the water. Thick white swirls, like smoke, clouded the air within an inch of my face. I reached out, feeling for him with my hands.
“Reilly? Come on, boy… where did you go?” I settled into the water with a heaving, delicious sigh of pure pleasure. The water covered my bare breasts like a warm pair of hands, cupping them, enveloping them, teasing my tight nipples into sweet, soothing relief.
“I give in, okay?” I heard him splash right beside me and figured I was forgiven. I sighed, giving in and giving up. “You can sleep with me, all right? Just as long as you stay on your side of the bed and don’t hog the covers.”
The fog began to clear and a dark, wet, shaggy head started to emerge… But the expectant smile on my face slipped away in a hot second, leaving me open-mouthed and gaping.
4
Jason
“First time you ever made those particular demands, Ember,” I said, softly. “And I’m not making any promises…”
Even in nothing but starlight, her copper hair gleamed… floating around her pale shoulders like a dark cloud. Wet tendrils trailed down her skin, drawing a line down her neck to the mounded curves of her breasts. Her nipples were hidden underwater… her mouth as wide, as seductive, as generous as I remembered. We were close… damned close. And the long, hot soak had only made the whiskey in my blood even more effective. I was way too close to forgetting just how much time we’d lost and dragging her into my arms...
“What the hell are you…?” she gasped, cut off by Reilly’s excited barking and splashing. He was five times the size he’d been last time I’d seen him, and had no idea he wasn’t a puppy anymore. He put his massive paws on my shoulders and licked my face, half drowning me in the process. Ember watched us both, disbelief in her eyes. She backed away, almost disappearing in the swirling mist.
“Get on up, Rye… that a boy… I’ll still be here when you get back.” I pushed him up onto the rocks that surrounded the pool and he took off, barking excitedly, happy for the moment to follow his nose into the woods. “Em…” I reached out, afraid for a second that I’d lost her again. My hands touched hot, wet flesh, exactly the way I remembered her that very first time. My body remembered too; how perfect she was, and how she’d been mine. How I should have had her round-bellied by now, with my baby. “God… Em…”
“What are you doing here?” Her voice was tense, but thank god, she didn’t back away from me. I left my hand on the curve of her hip, a hundred different desires running through that one, single connection point. My entire body was responding to her the way it always had. I was rock hard, driven by a force even I didn’t fully understand… something primal that told every cell in my body I needed to possess her. That she was my one true mate for life and belonged in my arms… in my bed… in my soul… The way I belonged inside her.
“I needed this place,” I answered her honestly. “It’s the closest I could come to you.” I took a step toward her, stopping only before my cock might nudge her. Em was a flight risk, I knew, and the last thing I wanted was to give her an excuse.
“You’ve been back to town before this?” she asked, hesitantly. “You could have called… I… I’ve… missed you…” she said softly. “You were my best friend, damn it… I didn’t… I thought…” Her dark eyes flared in frustration. A wave of white mist clouded the space between us.
“It seemed best to let it be,” I answered, focusing hard to keep
my hand from roaming. “I lost my best friend that day too, you know. But you made it clear enough we didn’t have a future between us anymore.”
“And you knew exactly why,” she shot back, angry suddenly and temper flaring. “It nearly killed me when Randy decided to follow in Dad’s footsteps. I couldn’t bear to face the idea of losing him in a fire… the way we all lost Daddy.” She pulled back, out of reach. “And then you went and volunteered too.” I could hear her breathing, it was rough and unsteady with emotion. “We’d been engaged for what? A whole month? And you decided without me that you were going to risk never coming home again…” Her whole body tensed and it felt like the water between us was close to boiling. “You treated me like I was still a child, you wouldn’t talk to me about any of it. I should have come first,” she said. “And when we had a family, we all should have come first. You made a huge decision that affected us both… without me. Dammit, Jason. You have enough money you’d never have to work a day in your life, but you went out and signed up for the most dangerous fucking job in the world…”
Guilt and anger flared in my chest, in my gut. “You knew who I was, Ember. Hell, you still know me better than anyone else.” I let go of her and ran a hand through my wet hair. “I couldn’t live the same life my parents have. I couldn’t take and take and take from the land the way they do, without giving anything back. The need to make a difference in this world is as strong a desire in me as any other. You’ve felt it for yourself, Em… you know it… you know me. And that’s the man you promised to marry.”
“And the man I couldn’t bear to lose,” she said. “Not like that, not like Daddy. I watched my parents lose a little more of their marriage every time he left on an assignment. I watched Mom’s fear every time the phone rang. In reality, they lost each a long time before he was finally killed. I think the strain killed their love, a little at a time.”
“Then nothing’s changed,” I said.
“Not a damned thing,” she answered, tilting her chin up, eyes flashing. The ether swirled around her; she looked delicate and unconquerable all at once, like a water goddess in her element. “Not a damned thing,” she repeated slowly. And I could feel how right she was…
We were locked in a contest of wills, of love, of desire… of pure need and frustration. We could argue for days. There’d been times we had. But we’d always come back together. And the chemistry between us was just as combustible as ever. I couldn’t shake her hold on me. More than that, I didn’t want to. I reached out, roughly this time and thrust my fingers through her hair, pulling her to me. Words didn’t have the power to make her understand, to make her see… to make her feel. I pulled her to me, kissing her, not caring anymore that my erection was crushed against her belly. I held the curve of her neck in one hand, cupped her perfect ass in the other and made my point the only way I knew how; by showing her that we were made to fit together, in every way a man and a woman could. That she had more power over me than she could ever dream of, and that would never change. I kissed her until I felt her muscles relax, until she stopped resisting, until her anger shifted to passion. When she reached one long, smooth leg up and wrapped it around my waist, I knew I was home. For anger is just the other side of love,
And passion, the other side of fear…
5
Ember
“Why the hell did you go?” I gasped out, clawing into his back with my nails. I couldn’t tell what I needed most: to rake his flesh, to punish him and pound his chest… or for him to pound me. Maybe the only thing that mattered was that we were finally skin to skin again, and the only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted more. I needed more. And I had for a long, long time. “...Why the hell did you go…?”
“You told me where I could put your ring, as I remember,” he shot back, catching his breath, smiling as I hitched my leg higher on his hip. “Not the best idea you ever had…”
He let go of my ass and lifted one aching breast with his huge hand. My nipple caught in the vee of his strong, lean fingers and he tightened his hand punishingly. The sensation went straight down my belly and I felt my pussy tighten…then expand. I dug my heel into the small of his back and pressed my belly against his furious cock. I felt something hungry and determined break free inside me; all those feelings I’d repressed just to survive without him.
“You should have stayed,” I moaned softly. “You should have picked me and you should have fucking stayed.”
“You told me to go,” he said harshly, leaning down to suck my nipple into his mouth. I was buoyed by the water, overheated with desire and emotion. I wrapped my legs higher still and felt the head of his cock butting the inside of my thigh. I was dizzy, my heart pounding away with anger and lust and the rush of adrenaline his hard, chiseled body always produced in me. He dragged his mouth from my breast and kissed me again. “But fuck, Em… you were always my only choice,” he growled.
I felt his body stiffen as he shifted his hips and centered himself underneath me. He held me in his hands like I was weightless, like I belonged to him. He gripped my ass and spread me wide. And I closed my eyes, knowing all that was coming. His cock was like a rod of steel; it was long and thick, sweet and punishing. He was the only man I’d ever been with, and more than I’d ever dreamed of. I looked in his beautiful blue eyes and watched his pupils dilate with his arousal, dark and wide and teasing. “You like giving orders,” he said, his lips so close they brushed mine. “So tell me what it is you want from me right now…”
Except he didn’t wait for an answer. He bucked his hips hard as he pulled me down on his shaft. “Fucking right, I never should have gone,” he snarled into my neck, into my open mouth. I dug my fingers into the ridges of hard muscle that roped his arms. He was stroking my body up and down along his length, I was tight… and he was enormous…
“I should have put that ring right back where it belonged and taken you to bed.” He gripped a handful of hair at the nape of my neck and licked his lips. “This is the way to settle our differences, babygirl.” He tightened and bucked again, driving himself in to the hilt. I couldn’t answer, I could barely breathe. He filled everything in me until there wasn’t space left for anything else. It was the way it had always been for us. All I could do was to clutch him to me and lose myself in the sensation.
“We can’t…” I gasped out, his thrusts making my words come out too soft, too breathy… meaningless…
“This doesn’t change anything, Jason… It… never… did…”
He curved one strong arm around me, moving inside me relentlessly. He’d always known just how much I could take, and he pushed me to that same limit again. He took my face in one huge, roughened hand and held me prisoner.
“Can you tell me that you don’t still want this?” he asked, his voice a deep, lusty growl. “Can you say you don’t still love me, Ember? The same fucking way I still love you?” He buried himself and held still inside me. It felt like his cock had a heartbeat of its own, strong and pounding, throbbing inside me and threatening to explode…
“You’re mine,” he said, biting into my lip, making me feel the vibration of his words in the sensitive flesh of my mouth. “It doesn’t matter if you push me out of your life… it doesn’t matter if you leave me and try like hell to forget,” he said. He pulled his cock almost all the way out, leaving me collapsed, empty… frantic. “This doesn’t change,” he snarled, and he filled me again with a single, all-powerful thrust.
“I love you, Ember. And we belong to each other. No matter where you go…” He started thrusting again, building his pace with every stroke. “No matter where I go. No matter what happens between us…”
I dug my nails into his back and held on. My brain fought his words, but my body knew better. His hard chest burnished my nipples as the friction between us increased. The hot spring only served to push us even closer to the flame; the steam like a smokescreen all around us. His cock was pulsating steel, with a power over me I couldn’t deny. He was right a
nd I knew it. I’d always known it…
I just didn’t know if I could survive it.
6
Jason
We were both right on the edge of an earth-shaking, shattering climax that was more than inevitable. But I’d deny us both that release until I heard the words I needed to hear.
“Tell me you love me,” I demanded, whispering in her ear, licking, sucking at the spot behind her earlobe that made her pussy spasm on my dick. She dragged her breasts up my chest and I damned near lost it. She was the last woman, the only woman I’d had, since that very first time and my trigger was fully cocked. She needed to give me what I asked for… and give it to me soon.
“I… never stopped… loving you…” she panted out, “you self-centered son of a….”
And I cut her off with a burst of thrusts that both spiraled us up and brought us crashing down together in a climax that made the darkness of the night go blindingly bright. Her cries and the rushing in my owns ears was deafening; the only thing I knew for sure was that I’d brought her with me… into that sweet-hot space that belonged to just the two of us. I was wrong… dead wrong. Something had changed between us. And it had become even stronger, even more powerful, all-encompassing.
“Christ, Em,” I said, once I could breathe. “I don’t know how the fuck I lived without you… without the feel of your skin on mine.” I bowed my head into her heaving breasts and rested it there. “But it isn’t just the sex…” I whispered, “it’s this,” I said, crushing her softness against me. “It’s that you’re part of every breath I take, whether you’re beside me or not.” I looked into her eyes and felt both stronger and weaker than I’d ever felt in my whole life. “I can exist without you, Ember. Barely. But I don’t really live.”
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