“And I remember saying you’d never dominate me…,” he said, his voice gentle, his breath warm against my hair. “Never say never…” I kissed his throat, feeling his satisfied chuckle.
“Now you see what you’ve been doing to me,” I said, pushing myself up, still keeping him deep inside so I could pulse against him.
“Then God help us both,” he said, with a sinfully dark smile. “Because if you ever untie me, I might have to take my revenge…”
And I dangled my breasts in his face like a challenge as I reached up to release him. He caught one swollen nipple in his teeth and sucked hard, making his point. I ran my hands over the thick muscles of his arms, the wide tapering spread of his lats… And my fingers touched something smooth on his skin… and strangely familiar…
“There’s something here…,” I said, shifting, turning him so the moonlight illuminated the spot. But it was dark, nearly hidden in the fold of his arm… I strained to see…
“It’s only a birthmark,” he said, smiling easily and running his hands over my shoulders… lightly over my breasts. He lifted them gently and let them bounce with their weight. He sighed and let his hands roam around the curve of my ass. “My father had it, too…”
And I ran my fingers over it again, exploring the size and shape… realizing why I already knew it so well already…
A thin sliver of moonlight slipped through the window… I must have slept, because I remembered waking up in his arms. But I also remembered watching him, as he fell asleep, with one heavy arm, slung over his head… so much like my daughter…
Like our daughter, my conscience whispered. I leaned up on one elbow and drew his dark hair back with one finger, tracing his brow. How had I failed to see?
You always knew, the whisper came. Only you were too afraid to believe… too afraid to trust…
I watched the diamond on my finger twist and turn, sparkling with the warmth and brilliance of a flame even in the dimness of the light. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but it wasn’t the ring that made my heart catch in my throat. It was that Will had offered his heart to me, and to my baby girl. Without boundaries, without conditions… without reserve.
“What are you thinking… that makes your eyes that particular shade of blue?” he asked sleepily. “They’re the color of the ocean…” He pulled me close and the heady scent of warmth and sex made me dizzy. I wondered absently when I’d eaten last and couldn’t remember…
“I love you,” I said, simply. “The very idea itself has always terrified me. This is the first time in my life that the love felt stronger than my fears…”
He smiled and took a long breath in… and out. “You have to be willing to take a chance, in order to truly love,” he said. “We learn to love when we’re finally willing to risk it all, and we learn to trust when we survive taking that risk.” He kissed me until I was breathless and the room was spinning around us. “It’s the world below the surface, Angel,” he said, as breathless as I.
And together we plunged, headfirst and daring, into its glistening depths.
He kissed me awake and I felt my eyes flutter against the light. I stretched next to him, never wanting this morning to end. But I could hear Mattie, already up and bustling in the kitchen.
“It’s still early,” he said, reassuringly. “I offered the helicopter, but she said she’d wait for the boat. But she’ll have to be at the dock soon. I should go… and let you two have some time together…”
“I can’t believe she’s leaving,” I said, sitting up and reaching for my robe. I took a second to steady myself. “And I can’t even guess how this might affect Vi.”
He smiled and pulled on his jeans. “Best advice? Trust her to be as strong as her mother.” He buttoned his shirt and leaned down to kiss me again. “You have more than enough love inside you, Angel.”
“I can’t do this without you.”
“You could,” he said confidently, lifting me to my feet.
“You just don’t ever have to.”
Mattie was in the living room when I kissed him goodbye at the door. I could hear her swearing softly under her breath and went in to help.
“Fucking boxes,” she said, lightly. “Tape the top and the bottom falls out. I should’ve taken Will up on that offer of his, the helicopter… plus a couple of well-built moving men with boxes of their own…,” she smiled. “But oh, no… I had to do it on my own…” She sat down on the floor and took a swallow of coffee from her mug.
“So…? How was it?” she wheedled. “First night, as a newly engaged couple…?”
I blushed until my toes tingled and held out my hand. “How did you know?”
She gripped my fingers and took a long, admiring look. “Because he told me.”
“I meant, how did you know I’d say yes?”
“Because you’re independent, not stupid,” she said, with a crooked smile. “And because you two have always been meant to be. Hell, I could see it back when we were still in high school…”
“I think he’s her father…,” I said slowly. “I didn’t see… maybe I didn’t want to see…” I shook my head. “I was too afraid of having to share Violet, and too relieved when Jimmy gave up any claim to her.” I took her hands in mine and watched her face. “He’s got the same birthmark, Mattie… in the very same place…”
“No shit? Did you tell him?” She glanced around. “I want to see this… Are you going to tell him when they get back?”
“Who… get back from where?” I asked, confused. “Will wanted to leave before she woke up… to let the three of us have some time together before you go…”
I watched lines form across her forehead. “But I thought he took Violet and Miri out for a walk on the beach,” she said slowly, the expression on her face showing the pieces were falling into place. “The puppy was whining twenty minutes ago…”
In a flash we were both on our feet. I made it to the bedroom door first and opened it with a reckless crash. Violet would have been terrified… except that Violet wasn’t there…
Her bed was rumpled, the sheets still faintly warm. There was no sign of the puppy…
And my daughter was gone.
35
Angelina
I ran for the main house, stumbling on the flagstone steps, scrambling back onto my feet with bleeding knees and torn nails. Mattie was out on the beach… I could hear her calling… And I was inside the house, screaming for Will.
“She’s gone!” I heard my own voice as if I was somehow outside of myself. “Will, oh God...Will… Violet’s missing….”
He appeared in an instant, hair dripping from the shower, a towel barely slung around his waist. He ripped it off and swept the water out of his eyes, his hair back, oblivious to his own nakedness. “I need you to take a breath, Angel,” he demanded, “and tell me…”
“She wasn’t in her bed,” I panted, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. “Mattie thought she was with you… but she’s gone… Miri, too.” I gasped, my chest tearing in two with my sobs. “I think, oh Christ, Will… I think she took Miri outside by herself,” I said, clutching at his arms. He held me tight, kept me on my feet, but only for a second.
“Two minutes and I’ll have the chopper in the air,” he said, reaching for his phone. “Go… Find Mattie. We need to spread out now and cover the beach.” He was talking fast, urgency in his voice, but there was none of the panic that was washing over me in heavy, drowning waves. “The chopper will cover the island, the land mass…,” he said, holding me by the arm, bending down to look straight into my eyes. “But we need to follow the beaches, Angel… Do you understand me?”
“That’s where the danger is…,” I said, nodding as a kind of numbness set in. I scrambled for the door as he pounded a number into his phone. Then I turned back at the last minute, desperate at the sudden thought of what we might find…
“Go, Angel, I’m right behind you.” He gave me a steely look. “Remember, Angel.
Love… not
fear.”
And I took off at a dead run. My feet were bare, torn by the rocks, and my loose robe blew behind me. I could see Mattie from the path, it was higher than the beach. By the time I reached her, I almost fell into her arms.
“Will’s coming,” I said, struggling to collect myself, just to breathe… “He’s got the helicopter on its way and he’s coming.” I saw her raise her head and look over my shoulder, and heard his footsteps hitting hard and fast behind me.
“Take the south end,” he shot the order out to Mattie. “Whistle, scream… anything, if you find her.” He turned to me. “We’ll go east and come around from the north. Keep to the higher ground where you can see farther out, and check the tree line… We’ve got the beach…”
He paused only long enough to drag me to him and press his lips to my clammy forehead. I held on, savoring his strength for a second longer and pushed him back. “Just go… please,” I begged, locking his eyes to mine for one last, sweet second. “I’m fine, I love you… and we can cover more ground if we separate…” And I let go, pushing him away, and feeling like I’d just let go of the last real thing in my whole dissolving world.
“Violet!” I called, turning to the tall grass and the looming trees…
“Violet…!”
Three shrill, staccato bursts split the air above me and sent birds into the sky. Their wings beat the treetops as they lifted off, my head jerked up and turned, seeking direction. And I ran, shifting and turning to follow as he called out. I slipped in the loose sand of a shadow dune and rolled, hitting a line of rocks that stopped my fall. But adrenaline had me back on my feet… sharp, stabbing pain in my ankle barely slowing me down…
“It’s Miri,” Will said, catching me in one strong arm. He held the puppy in the other. She was wet and whining softly. Her leash trailed from her collar.
“But where’s Violet?” I gasped. “She must have taken the dog out to pee… She saw us do it so many times… and she copies behaviors…” I tried to put weight on my ankle and felt it buckle underneath me.
“You’re hurt…” In a second, he’d put Miri down and had both arms around me. He eased me down onto the sand.
“I just twisted my ankle,” I said, as he ran his hand gently down my calf. But I arched in pain and cried out…
“Broken is more like it.” He searched the rest of my body with care, using precious time. Mattie came up beside us, panting hard and out of breath.
“Did you find her?” I gasped. “Did you see anything at all?”
“...this…,” she said, holding up Violet’s little plastic pail. It was dripping and coated with sand. “About a quarter mile south of the cottage.” I felt my heart seize in my chest and stared at Will’s face. It was ashen, but his eyes were brilliant with determination. He rose to his feet…
“I’m fucking coming with you,” I cried out. “She’s my baby and I have to find her…”
He caught me as I tried to stand. “Mattie, you stay here with her. Keep her off that leg.” His tone silenced us both. He put the shivering puppy in my arms and kissed me, fast and hard, crushing my mouth and leaving a stinging bruise behind. “I’ll bring her back to you…,” he said. “I swear it.” He looked at me, forcing his strength and his courage into me with the sheer power of his will. And in that single second, everything between us seemed to crystallize… tears still ran down my cheeks, but I nodded…
“I know you will…,” I whispered. “I trust you…”
36
Will
And I ran, legs pumping like pistons, cold morning air raking my lungs. I scanned the sand, the grass, the trees as I ran… stopping only to check for any small traces she might have left behind. But mostly, I looked to the water. The steady, lapping waves that crested white and then thinned and spread themselves far and wide. The water left delicate shells behind, yellows and pinks that shined like tempting jewels to a child’s eyes. Each one seemed to mock me.
I stopped, looking up as I heard the chopper pass overhead. It was low, the sound of the blades deafening. I gestured with huge, swinging movements toward the interior of the island, and it rose higher and lifted a whirlwind of sand along with it… burning my skin and stinging my eyes… and I pushed on. My heart stopped beating every time a wave washed up… and only started again with a painful thump when the water receded without leaving a tiny body behind. I’d sworn to Angel I would find her baby, but none of us knew just how long she’d been missing. She must have walked right by Mattie as she slept on the sofa. And all while Angel and I had been in bed…
I swallowed it all down. There wasn’t room for fear or blame. And there sure as hell wasn’t time. I closed my gritty eyes and clenched my teeth, thinking only of the softness of her dark hair… the color of her innocent eyes. I felt Angel’s love and trust in my heart… and the eternal love of a mother for her child…
And suddenly, I knew.
The cove.
It was where we’d taken Violet for a picnic and to search for the seashells she loved so much.
I ran, the sucking depths of the sand no match for my will. I headed up the sandbank by the cottage, taking a shortcut through the grass and trees. I stopped short, some twenty feet above the little cove, scanning the water… the sand… the clumps of…
Time stood still. But only long enough for the tiny, curled shape to register. I scrambled, half climbing, half falling over the rock edge, taking a shower of debris along with me. Thank God, she wasn’t in the belly of the cove, for I landed hard at the bottom. My next breath came with painful effort. “Violet… Christ… Violet…”
In two long strides, I was beside her. “Baby girl, open your eyes, sweetheart…” I put my ear to her little chest. Her clothes and hair were wet, cold… her lips were blue. “God… oh God, no…,” I prayed. I put the palm of my hand to the center of her chest and started rapid, shallow compressions. “Wake up, baby…,” I breathed. “You need to wake up now so I can take you back to your mama…”
I gathered her ankles in one hand and pushed them up to her chest, pumping them, shaking them, doing everything I could to stimulate her circulation. I paused only long enough to feel for her breathing. It was there, barely discernible, but it was there…
I held her in my arms, shaking her gently, chafing her limbs to warm her. “Look at me, Violet… please, baby… just open your eyes and look at me…”
But her eyes stayed closed and her head lolled against my shoulder. I heard the chopper overhead and swung an arm in the direction of my Angel. The beach where she and Mattie waited was the only place large enough for it to put down safely. Violet’s mouth opened and she retched. The smell of saltwater jolted me into action. With the helicopter in pursuit, I ran, Violet clutched to my chest.
There was only one thing that mattered to me now. And that was keeping my promise.
Violet needed her mother…
And I had promised to give Angelina back her child.
“Will, oh my God…
Violet…!”
Angel didn’t wait for me to reach her. She was on her feet and white-faced with pain, limping hard and pushing Mattie away. She collapsed on the sand, hair flying wildly around her head as the chopper positioned itself to land. I put her baby in her arms and wrapped myself around them both, covering them with my body, turning my back to the blowing sand to protect them.
“Violet… oh God, baby… Open up your eyes, baby. It’s mommy, sweetheart...open up your eyes…” Angelina turned her face up to mine, a thousand questions in her eyes, her lips parted. Tears were streaming down her face and her mouth worked silently. She couldn’t find the words…
“She was in the cove,” I said. “She’s breathing, but I think there was water in her stomach.” I held her face between my hands, unsure how much she was able to understand.
“The boat’s here…,” Mattie said, in a panicky voice.
“Chopper’s faster,” I said steadily. The noise from the blades forced us to shout. “I need
to get her to the hospital, Angel,” I said, my face only inches from hers. “Every minute counts now. And the helicopter only has room for one of us.” My heart felt like it was tearing in two, asking her to make the decision. But she was Violet’s mother. It was her right…
“Take her,” she said, without hesitation. “Hold her and tell her I love her,” she said, holding the little girl’s hand and kissing it. “Mattie and I will take the boat and we’ll meet you there.” She dug her nails into my arm and her eyes were unnaturally large and dark in her pale face. “Don’t let her be alone, Will,” she sobbed. “Don’t ever leave her…
Whatever happens, just make sure she’s not all alone…”
37
Angelina
I don’t know which was worse. Waiting for Will to find her. Or seeing her fragile little body in his arms.
For a minute, I thought I’d lost her forever. Only the fierce determination in his eyes told me different. The throbbing pain in my ankle was nothing compared to the anguish I felt, watching him walk away with her. But there was no one I trusted more. He would take care of her like she was his own. Injured, I could only have slowed them down…
“He’ll make sure she gets the best, you know,” Mattie said. “I can’t fucking believe I let her walk right by me…”
“It’s not your fault, Mattie,” I said, gripping her hand, meaning it. I thought back to Will and me in the night and struggled to push my own guilt away. “You know as well as I do, she never wakes up in the night… There was no reason to think…”
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