“Love makes family,” I said, kissing the fear from her eyes. “And for family, it’s never too late.”
Five minutes later, we were at our daughter’s side. And so were a dozen other busy people. The room wasn’t quiet anymore, like it had been when I left. And Harry was at Violet’s side, his phone in his hand just as my pocket started to ring…
“Damned fine timing,” he said, looking up. “I was just calling you…”
“What the hell’s going on?” I asked as a nurse pushed past me with a syringe in her hands.
“Nothing too alarming,” Harry said calmly. “A little drop in heart rate, but everything else is normal. Tests showed there’s no water in her lungs, Will… That’s better than we hoped for.”
“Then why isn’t she waking up?” Angel asked, her voice tight. I was holding her in my arms, and I put her down on Violet’s bed, knowing how much she wanted to pick up her baby and hold her to her heart. But there were too many tubes… too many wires… Instead, she put her hand on the little girl’s forehead as if she might break.
“Hard to say, exactly,” Harry said gently. “Shock… exposure, perhaps. She’s got a large contusion on the side of her head, but there’s no sign of concussion. Her body temperature was low when she came in, but it’s normal now. We have every reason to believe she’ll wake up. She just needs time…” Angel put her hand on Violet’s chest and Harry looked up at the monitor. “Rate’s back up,” he said with a smile. He put a comforting hand on Angelina’s shoulder. “I think Mom here is just what the doctor ordered…
but it looks like you need some attention, too.” He knelt down to examine Angel’s swollen ankle. “We should get some images of this before much longer.”
“Dr. Kendricks said to give you these.” Violet pulled a crumpled handful of paper from her pocket. “They did some tests… she wanted you to see them…”
“I’ll take a look and get things started,” he said. He nodded at the others in the room. “In the meantime, let’s give them a little privacy, shall we?”
“I don’t want to leave her yet,” Angelina said, once they were gone. “I know it’s foolish, thinking I can reach her… just by being here…”
I curled my body protectively around them both. “You’re wrong.” I put a hand on Violet’s forehead and leaned into the warm curve of Angelina’s neck. “Her heart responded the moment you touched her, sweetheart. She knows you’re here… and she knows you love her… that we both love her.” Angel turned her face to mine. “She’s just below the surface, that’s all…,” I said softly, thinking…
“How does she reach out,” I asked, “to talk to the world around her? What is it that brings her to life… that stirs her…?” I saw understanding flicker behind Angel’s eyes. “Her music, that’s what…,” I finished. I took one of Violet’s hands in mine and gestured with my chin for Angelina to do the same. “Do you know this piece? Does she?” I hummed softly, using my fingers to move Violet’s fingers over the blanket as if she was playing the notes.
“It’s Rachmaninoff, isn’t it?” She began to hum it with me. “I played this one for her a long time ago… but I don’t remember if she ever learned it…”
“Well, she’s going to now,” I said, determined. “Move her fingers… it doesn’t matter if it’s not exactly right. Just let her feel the movements and hear the music. The music is the way to reach her, Angel.
It’s all still inside her, and we just need to help her find it…”
“I’m Patty. Dr. Chapin sent me to take you to radiology.” A freckle-faced volunteer stood ready in the doorway with a wheelchair. “That’s a pretty song… is it her favorite?”
“Hey, Angie… Will.” Mattie pushed her way into the room. “How is she? Is she awake yet?” She gave Angel an enormous hug. “I’m so sorry it took so long to catch up with you. When I got back to the room, you two were already gone…”
“Violet’s tests are good, but she isn’t waking up,” Angel said tensely, her voice breaking.
“Miss Hollister…?” The volunteer pushed the chair a little closer. “They’re waiting for us upstairs…”
“I’ll go with you,” I said, standing up.
“No,” Angel said, gripping my hands in hers. “You stay with her… She needs you more.” Her eyes were that brilliant shade of blue I loved so much. “Mattie’ll come with me, and I won’t be gone long.” She looked down at Violet, who still hadn’t moved. “Stay with her, let her keep listening to you… I don’t know why, I know nothing’s really changed, but I feel like you’re able to reach her somehow…”
I kissed her before they took her away, wanting forever, but only stealing a second. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of her mouth on mine, the depth of emotion she created inside me. She’d given me her love and her trust… and more than that, she’d given me a place in her life and in Violet’s. I felt a surge of love and belonging and protectiveness swell in my chest… I watched as Mattie took her away and the door swung silently shut behind them. I took a deep breath and turned around…
Violet’s eyes were still closed, but an alarm had started going off on one of the machines…
And I saw Violet’s fingers moving over her blanket…
41
Angelina
The elevator doors closed.
“Jesus, Angie.” Mattie leaned down to look at my ankle. It was throbbing and I was queasy with pain. “It must be twice the size it should be. Why the hell didn’t they do something sooner?”
“It’s fine,” I said, swallowing hard. “It doesn’t even matter. The only thing that matters now is that Violet wakes up. Will saved her life, Mattie… now we just need her to come back to us.”
Mattie knelt down and took my hands. “Are you going to tell him he’s a father?” she asked.
I swallowed again. “I already told you, I don’t know for sure,” I answered. “But if any man ever earned the right to be a father, it’s Will,” I said. “You were there, you saw what he did for her…”
“I saw,” she said, sagely. “I see a lot of things… but that isn’t what I meant…”
The elevator door swept open and Patty pushed me over the threshold with a clatter. ‘You’ll have to wait out here, ma’am,” she said to Mattie. Mattie raised a challenging eyebrow, but stayed silent. It wasn’t the word wait, I knew, it was the ma’am… For the first time in a long time, I smiled.
“Angelina?” Dr. Chapin came into the room with a smile.
“Is it Violet?” I started to stand and cringed in pain. “Is she all right?”
“She’s just fine,” he said soothingly. “They’ll call me with any changes. I just wanted to check on you down here, to make sure you get the royal treatment.” He smiled warmly. “I’ve known Will for most of my life,” he said. “He’d never forgive me if I let anything happen to you.”
“Dr. Chapin…”
“Harry, please.” He smiled at me as the tech helped me up onto a rigid platform and put a pillow under my neck. She moved with the confidence of practice, turning up my pant leg and positioning my foot, but I gasped with even the slightest movement.
“Tell me the truth, Harry.” I waited as he gestured for the tech to leave us alone. “Violet’s always lived in a world all her own. I know you say there’s no reason for her not to wake up, but what if she just… doesn’t? What if she just stays in that private place we’ve been trying so hard to draw her out of? What if she’s gone somewhere we can’t ever find her again…?”
He sat down next to me and took my hands. He looked at me long and hard before he answered, as if he was weighing his words.
“There aren’t ever any promises in life, Angelina,” he said, gently. “But if I ever saw a little girl with a reason to live, it’s Violet.” He licked his lips and exhaled. “She has you and she has Will, and I never saw two people more devoted to a child.” He nodded, thinking. “Will came to me,” he admitted, “wanting to know if there was a chance he could be a fathe
r again. He told you about the accident?…”
It was my turn to nod.
“He looked for you for years, Angelina, desperate to find you. I never saw a man so compelled… never heard a man speak so highly of any woman… He called you his turning point.”
“I didn’t even think he saw me, way back then,” I said. “He was so much older, and I felt so invisible…”
“He more than saw, my dear. And he never forgot, either.” He picked up my hand and turned my ring to the light. “You said yes, I see.” And his face lit up. “He’s been imagining this, desperate for this for so long… For you… and for fatherhood…”
“Harry,” I gripped his hands as the tech came back into the room, rustling impatiently. “I don’t know if he’s Violet’s father… but I think he might be… Maybe it doesn’t really even matter. I know it doesn’t to me.” I swallowed and lowered my voice to a whisper. “I can’t bear the idea of his disappointment if a test proved that he wasn’t. Can you put his name on the birth certificate anyway… without a test?” I asked. “Then he would always be her father… no matter what.”
He patted my hand in a fatherly way. “As long as no one else is named, you can put down any name you like.” His eyes shined, pleased. “All the father has to do in order to make it legal is to sign… and I know for a fact that nothing would make him happier.”
I put my head back with a sigh. In spite of everything, a sense of peace washed over me and I knew I’d made the right decision. If Violet woke up…. When Violet woke up, it would be to two parents who loved her, and a real family of her own. The tech cleared her throat and Harry stood up.
“I’ll let you get on…,” he said, moving toward the door, a twinkle in his eye. “And I’ll let you be the one to tell Will,” he said. He turned toward the tech. “No, not that one…” He took off the small, heavy drape the tech had put over my lap. “Use the full lead apron…” He turned back to me with a friendly smile. “Can’t be too careful,” he said lightly.
“I’ll meet you back in Violet’s room when you’re all done,” he said, with a smile. “And we’ll break the happy news…”
I fidgeted and squirmed as the ortho tech took his sweet time applying the splint. The break was simple, but the swelling made it impossible to apply a cast, at least for now…
“Angel… thank God.” I looked up to see Will’s face in the doorway. Two steps more and he was beside me.
“What is it? Why did you leave her… what’s wrong…?”
“Nothing, sweetheart.” He took my hands and brought them up to his lips. It suddenly felt like forever since we’d last touched. “Nothing’s wrong. She moved her fingers, baby. Right after you left… I turned around and her fingers were moving…”
“Finish it,” I barked irritably at the startled tech. “I don’t care if you’re done. Our baby is upstairs and we’re going to be there when she wakes up.” He stared for a minute, but picked up his pace.
“She responded to the music,” Will said, kissing me between words. “And she’s reaching out, the only way she knows how…”
“She’s reaching for her daddy,” I answered back, tasting my tears on our lips. “You’re the one who saw beneath the surface all along… and something inside her knew that. Now she’s reaching back…”
The tech finished up without making a sound and disappeared discreetly. Will looked at the waiting wheelchair, but picked me up in his arms instead. “I love you, Angel. With all my heart and soul, I will love you for the rest of my life.” His rock-hard chest and arms radiated heat and security. A warm, liquid wave of pleasure ran through my body as I rested my head against him… A hundred years… a thousand years like this would never be enough…
And I realized how wonderful it felt to lean on him. To lean into his strength and his safety. To give up the control I’d held onto so long and so alone. “And I love you, Will… more than I ever thought possible,” I said, clinging to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he took the stairs two at a time. “I belong to you,” I said. “Me… and Violet, too.” He stopped long enough to kiss me hard. “We belong to you… and you belong to us…”
“She’s turned her head,” Mattie said, her eyes huge with excitement. She stepped aside and let Will put me down on the edge of the bed. “Her eyes are moving underneath the lids… like she’s dreaming…”
“Violet, baby,” I said, softly. “It’s Mama… Open your eyes and look at me, sweetie. Please, baby… just open up your eyes.” I looked across the bed, over her little body at Will. “Daddy’s here, too, honey. Remember when you played the piano with him…?” I saw movement under the lids. “Miri wants to see you, too, baby…” I looked at Mattie for reassurance and she nodded fast. “She’s okay, too, and she wants you to play with her on the beach. We’ll go back and collect seashells…” Tears were starting to flow freely now and they dripped on the bedsheets, forming a dark, spreading stain. “It’s not just us anymore, Violet. Your daddy’s here, too, and he loves you as much as I do. We’re a real family now…” I looked up into his face and saw the depth of emotion in his eyes. “I know you can hear me…,” I whispered. “I can feel you… just under here.” I put my hand on her heart and closed my eyes. “I can feel you beating inside me, too… finding your way…”
“Angel…,” Will said, with a soft intake of breath. “Look…”
And I opened my eyes to hers. They were a dark, soft blue, the color of the sky, the color of the ocean on a cloudy day. I felt her tiny fingers, moving on my arm, playing music only she could hear…
And the waves came crashing down around me. Love and relief, elation and exhaustion. It all crested in a wave that was so much bigger than I could bear. I saw Will’s face as he caught me… then everything dissolved in a dark, cloudy mist. I could feel the smile on my face, the happiness in my heart…
Awake or asleep, I knew in that moment, I had everything I ever wanted…
42
Will
It had all been too much for her. Hell, it would have been too much for anyone. But her eyes fluttered open only a few minutes later… after I had picked her up and tucked her into bed alongside her child… our child. I stroked the hair back from her forehead and heaved a sigh of relief. My family was safe. It was the only thing that mattered…
“Angel… sweetheart… Violet’s okay, baby. So are you.”
We wrapped our arms around each other and our little girl, and for a while there was silence… just the sounds of our mingled breath and a deep, profound gratitude that was far beyond words…
“Violet…,” she said, taking the little girl’s hand and bringing it to mine. “This is Will, sweetie… You remember him.” I took her tiny hand and her little fingers wrapped around mine with surprising strength. “He gave Miri to you,” Angel went on. “So you could love her and take care of her…” She looked up into my face. “Just like he gave you back to me…
This is your daddy, baby girl.” I watched as beautiful tears washed down her cheeks. They made her eyes so large… so bright… so luminous…
“She’s as much your child as she is mine,” Angel said, her tears spilling over her bottom lip. “You saved her… you brought her back to me… you helped her find her way back to us…” She looked at me, her eyes huge and brilliant. “She has a birthmark,” she whispered, “the same as yours… just under her arm and shaped like a heart…” Our eyes locked and somewhere in the silence between us, we found our truth. It had waited for us, patiently, all along… “We could still have the test done if you want…,” she offered.
“Your love, your trust… is all I ever hoped for, Angel. And now… to be a father, too…” I kissed her, deeply, passionately… wanting her in every way a man could want a woman… “You’ve already given me what I thought was lost forever… No test could possibly give me what I already have…”
She kissed me back, throwing her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. She smelled sweet, like fresh air and sunshine. “Bu
t you wanted to know for certain, Will…”
“And I do now,” I answered her reassuringly, pushing her hair back over her shoulders. “In every way that really matters, I do.” I put a hand on my chest, on my heart. “Being a real father is only here, Angel.”
Harry bustled into the room and shot an astute look around, taking everything in at a glance. He smiled down at Violet’s calm blue eyes. “Welcome back, little miss,” he said, kindly. “You’ve had a lot of people worried about you…” He looked over at Angelina with concern. “And how’s mom holding up?”
“Is she okay? When can we go home? Is the danger over?” Angelina shot the questions out in a rush. Two spots of color highlighted her cheeks as she sat up suddenly.
He raised an eyebrow, taking his time to look over the chart. “Everything looks good,” he said finally. “I think we’ll want to keep her a day or two, just to be sure. But it’s only a precaution.” He smiled at her. “I can arrange for you to stay here with her, if you’d like. It wouldn’t hurt for you to take a day or two off your feet, as well.”
“I will, I promise…” She leaned forward and took Harry’s hand. “Did you get the papers…?” she asked urgently. Harry nodded and his eyes slid over to me.
“What’s this?” I asked. “What… papers?”
“I asked him to gather the records together for me,” Angelina said, putting her hands in mine. They felt tiny, but warm.
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