“But you knew?”
“I went to a nearby university and had dated the girl a few times, about a year later. She mentioned it one night, without a lot of details. But she’d said his name. And it came back to me when Brian filled in the missing pieces.”
“I think that Cole called in a debt, Grace. I think that he needed someone who owed him big time, and that man was Carlson Marks. Cole took out a large life insurance policy on his own wife, only months after he married her. Plus there was all the money Claire had inherited before the wedding. She was worth several million easily, and Cole has been known for his uncontrolled spending. A place like La Laisse hardly comes cheap, especially the way he indulges…”
My mind was racing. Of course I’d resisted the idea that Evelyn had been responsible. But it hadn’t been so hard to believe it was true either, I thought with a pang. “I was so sure she was guilty. So quick to believe it. She’d been so drunk, and the car was so damaged…”
“I know, Grace. I looked at the photographs and the police report. But it was the witness who put her in the driver’s seat. A witness who owed Cole a damn big favor, for a very long time.”
He took my shoulders and made me look at him. “There’s evidence. And there’s motive, Grace. I don’t have proof yet, but I will. I’ve wanted that bastard out of the way for a long time, but after what he did to you last night… I need to see this through. I want you with me, where I can be sure you’re safe, while Brian and I are searching for the proof we need.”
“The case goes to trial in three weeks,” I said faintly.
“That’s why we need to leave here, Grace.”
“We…?”
He reached out and cupped the back of my neck. “I’m taking you home with me. And I’ll pay you everything I would have paid Mrs. Sparr. In a few week’s time, with luck, your mother will be a free woman. And you’ll walk away with almost half a million dollars.”
My head was spinning. Half a million…
He’d told me he wanted Cole out of his way, for reasons of his own. I was just fine with that, after what that asshole had done to me… And if it was true, that Evelyn hadn’t even been involved in the accident… Why the hell wasn’t I jumping at the chance Kaine was offering me? Why was there a tight feeling in my stomach that made me hesitate?
I knew exactly why. Because what I was feeling for Kaine wasn’t about business. Or money. Or even about trying to save Mom anymore. It had become much more than that for me. And I wanted Kaine to feel that way too.
“Why?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. “What’s in this for you? You could take the information you have on Cole to the police, and they would investigate. If you’re right, he’ll be out of the way and your business can move forward. Why do you need me? Why pay me all that money, and concern yourself with my mother’s case, when you could just keep it simple?” I was on a roll now, going for broke. I was terrified I was making a huge mistake, but I kept right on going.
“There’s so much you won’t share, Kaine. Why the hell did you buy me, when you haven’t even had me yet? Why offer me a fortune, when you’re the one helping me?” I wanted to reach up and touch him, but bit my lip instead. “You don’t want me to touch you.” I turned away and looked out the window. “And you won’t even tell me why.”
“It has nothing to do with us…,” he began. I cut him off.
“It has everything to do with what’s between us. I know this is just a business deal for you. But you made me want you, and then you… you just won’t let yourself…” I shook my head impatiently. “You care enough to help me, but you won’t talk to me, Kaine. About those scars… about why you won’t let me in. About why you want one particular house on Rance Street torn down. Or about why you have nightmares… About someone named Danny…”
I was breathless when I finally stopped. “You’ve treated me better than I had any right to hope for. And I’m grateful. But I don’t understand, why you keep me at a distance, when I want to be here for you. When I want you…”
“You’re not here to want me, Grace,” he shot back. “You’re here for money. Because you want to save your mother. I’m offering to help you…,” he spun around, turning his back to me. “The rest isn’t your business. You can’t want me… you don’t even know who the fuck I really am.”
I took a step closer, aching to put my hands on his broad, strong back. An hour ago, he’d let me touch him there. I’d kissed his scars…
“That’s just it. I want to know. You want to help me prove that Evelyn is innocent. Why won’t you let me do something for you?” I swallowed my fear and reached out, resting my hand on his shoulder. “I’m trusting you, Kaine. And I’m asking you to trust me, too.” I rested my cheek against his warm back and felt him stiffen slightly. “Help me with my mom, and I’ll do anything I can to help you take Cole down. But I don’t want your money, Kaine. I don’t want any of it. I just want you to let me in.”
He turned slowly to face me. He looked down at me, his eyes cold and grey. I kept talking. It had gone too far to stop now.
“When I was ten, my mother stopped drinking. It was the last time she stopped. Gran had been gone for almost five years and she was finally starting to get back on her feet. For more than two years, Evelyn was sober and in a marriage that had lasted longer than just a few months…” I was still standing close to Kaine, but careful not to touch him. “Things were better than they’d ever been. And it seemed like maybe we could have a normal life… a real family.”
I shifted toward the bed and sat down. His eyes never left me.
“On my thirteenth birthday, my friends wanted to throw a party for me. My first real party, with boys and music.” I looked away from Kaine. “For two years, we hadn’t had any alcohol in the house… not until that night. My friends brought it, but I knew they were going to. And I let it happen.”
“Her bad choices were not your fault…,” Kaine began.
“But she’d beaten it, Kaine. All that was behind us, until I let them bring it back in. The boys drank the beer in the alley behind the house. But someone had brought a bottle of vodka, and most of that had been left over after they all went home.” I pushed my hair back and swallowed hard. All the feelings I’d pushed down for so long were rising to the surface. All the guilt I’d felt for all those years, knowing that I was the one who’d destroyed what Mom had worked so hard to achieve. That I had failed her as a daughter, far more than she’d failed me as a mother…
“It wasn’t your job to protect her, Grace. She was the parent. She was the one who should have been protecting you…,” Kaine said softly. I looked up to see him gazing somewhere far beyond me. His voice sounded strange, distant. “It was never your responsibility at all…”
“I let them bring it to the house, Kaine. I could have told them not to. But I was ashamed… and didn’t want them to ask any questions. I wanted to help her and I couldn’t. I wanted her to love me and be my mom, and she couldn’t. Our whole lives could have been different, Kaine. And Claire might still be alive today. I’ve failed at helping any of us, Kaine. It was my job to keep Evelyn safe, and I failed her… I failed us. All the choices I’ve made were the wrong ones…”
I got up and wrapped the coverlet around me, shivering in spite of the warmth of the room. All the guilt and pain of the past was right in the room with us. I’d worked so hard for so long to keep it at a distance. Far enough away that I could work and sleep and live each day. But it had always been right below the surface. I could see that now. And my failure with Kaine was the last straw. I wanted him. Not just because of the desire he’d awakened in me. But because he made me feel beautiful and wanted. Because he’d treated me with tenderness and respect in a place where he could have easily done neither. Because he’d protected me and made me feel safer than I’d ever felt. Because everything inside me wanted to reach out and save him from whatever it was that haunted his own past.
I wanted him because I was falling in
love with him. With a man who wouldn’t let me inside. No matter how kind he’d been to me, he didn’t feel what I was feeling. He’d offered to help Evelyn and me, but that was only because his own interests stood to benefit as well. I could never take the money he’d offered, because for me at least, this was no longer just business at all. I felt a decision taking shape that left me feeling cold and sick inside. But I knew it was the only choice I could make. Any other was unfair to myself. And to Kaine. This had to be the end of my bad choices… and the cost to those I loved…
“You told me, on our very first night, that I had choices. No matter what I might agree to, that I still had choices.” I clutched the blanket tighter and kept my back to him as I spoke.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done, Kaine. And if you go to the police with your suspicions about Cole, my mother and I will always be grateful. But I can’t take your money, Kaine. And I can’t leave here with you. I need to go home, to try to make things right for Evelyn, as best I can.” I felt my heart lurch unsteadily in my chest as I struggled with the words.
“I’m saying no, Kaine. You said it would end any involvement between us… and I’m so sorry.” The last words came out as a whisper.
“But I’m saying no.”
23
Kaine
I stared at her back, unable to accept what she was telling me. She looked slight and fragile, with the thin blanket wrapped around her shoulders. My brave, strong, beautiful girl…
I couldn’t explain what I was feeling inside, even to myself. But for the first time since Danny’s death, I had the cold, unfamiliar sense of powerlessness. And there was something else as well. Something without a face to it. Something I could feel, but couldn’t touch… Something in what Grace had told me about her childhood…
I headed for the closet and reached in, pulling out the bags I’d brought and throwing my clothes in, along with the ones Mrs. Sparr had provided for Grace.
“You’re coming with me,” I ground out the words through my teeth. “It’s your right to end the… business between us, but there’s no fucking way I’m leaving you alone after what Cole tried to do to you. You’re coming home with me, where I can keep you safe.”
“Kaine… It’s over,” she said, turning to watch me. “You don’t owe me anything. We had a business deal, and now it’s done. Tell the police what you suspect about Cole and we’re even.”
In two strides, I had her in my arms. The desire to kiss her… or shake sense into her warred inside me. I held her by the shoulders, trying to burn my will into her… into those brilliant green eyes. She bit her lip and I lost the last ounce of control I had…
I took her mouth with mine like a desperate man. I crushed her to me, pulling the blanket from her body and wrapping my arms around her warm, naked flesh. She was the whole world, my whole world. Warm and soft, wet and lush. I kissed her like a man standing before the gates of hell, with nothing but this woman to keep him from burning alive. She was me and I was her… everything that could exist, had ever existed between a man and a woman filled the space between us. Grace was mine. She would always be mine. Even if she needed to leave me.
“Grace,” I said softly. The word caught at my throat. “I’m asking you to come with me. I’ll respect any choices you make, any boundaries you set. But I need to keep you safe from Cole. If he’s capable of what I suspect, you won’t be safe until the trial is over.” I held her chin in my hand. She was so tiny, so perfect. “This isn’t about business…” I struggled with the words, and the riot of feelings behind them that I couldn’t begin to face. “I only know that I can’t let anything happen to you.” I kissed her again, gently, pulling the roundness of her lower lip between mine. The desire I felt for this woman made everything I’d ever known or wanted fade to nothing. “Please, Grace. I’m asking you for this. And I never ask for anything…”
She pulled herself gently from my arms and coldness filled the space she left behind. I felt a sharp lurch of desperation… but only for a moment. Then she reached for her pink sweater and folded it, placing it inside the suitcase along with my jeans. Something in my chest released and I exhaled hard. I listened to three hard beats of my heart, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw Grace pick up the house phone and dial.
“Mrs. Sparr? Can you send up the bag I brought with me, please? Yes… thank you. No, nothing’s wrong. Kaine and I are leaving a little ahead of schedule is all… Yes… of course…” Grace held the phone out toward me.
Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Sparr arrived personally to deliver the small brown backpack that Grace had brought with her to La Laisse. In it were the clothes she’d worn here a few days ago, when she came to sell her body in an attempt to save the mother who’d neglected her… who’d hurt her. The mother who’d failed to protect her own child…
Grace stepped out of the bedroom, dressed in her own clothes at last. They were worn and cheaply made. Jeans and sneakers with a grey baseball sweatshirt. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and I felt my heart and groin tighten at the same time. She was exquisite…
Mrs. S finished tucking the envelope I’d given her into her generous bosom and smiled as Grace entered the room. The hundred thousand had been transferred immediately after the auction, and adjusted to cover the week in addition to the single first night. But I’d wanted to give her the thick envelope as well. Her wrinkled cheeks had flushed bright pink and her eyes sparkled.
“If there’s anything at all I can do in the future… for either of you…,” she said breathily, “feel free…” She headed over to Grace and took her hands. I heard them speak, their tones hushed. Then she gave Grace a kiss on the cheek and moved to the door. I followed, opening it and letting her pass. I closed it behind us, wanting a moment with her alone in the hall.
“You’ll talk to her?” I asked, keeping my voice low even though we were alone.
“You don’t even have to ask, Mr. Arkaine. Consider it already done.” Mrs. S patted her bosom. “Some of the girls have already complained about him, and it’s no loss to me or to them, if he never returns to La Laisse again.”
“Will Dalia agree?”
Mrs. S smiled up at me, her eyes glittering again. “Like me, Dalia would refuse you nothing.” She turned and headed toward the elevator, her steps falling silently on the thick carpets. I turned, breathing somewhat more easily, and went back inside to Grace.
She was tucking the last of our things into my leather bag. The rest was already in the foyer. I took her face between my hands and brushed her lips lightly with mine. “I…”
For a moment the next word hung on my lips, so ready to be said. It seemed so natural… But it was a word I’d never said. Not to anyone. Not in my whole life. I looked into the depths of her eyes and flashed back to her kissing the scars on my back, one by one…
“I have a call to make before we leave,” I said, working to keep my voice steady and my head clear. “Brian sent a text a few hours ago, that he had a lead on Carlson Marks.” Grace sat down on the sofa and I sat down beside her, phone in hand. “If I can get to Marks, offer him protection from Cole, I think there’s a chance that he’ll help us.” I shifted, thinking as I spoke.
“Cole has held Marks hostage for years, with the threat of exposing him. Ruining his political career, destroying his family. Even the possibility of facing charges for what he did to that girl. If we can get to him, offer him help in exchange for giving us the truth about Cole and whatever connection he has… to Claire’s death and to your mother’s connection…” My mind was racing. “Marks could be the key to everything. And if my gut instinct is right about Cole, there’s gonna be a lot for him to tell.”
Grace put her hand gently on my arm and I felt a jolt of energy run like hot liquid silver between us. I took a deep breath and stayed still. “But will he be willing to do that? He’s lied all these years, to save himself. And Cole lied to keep him safe. Why would he risk Cole telling the whole world that he was a rapist, just to help u
s?”
“Because blackmail is a fucking dirty business. And because it never ends. Marks needs to come clean, to have any hope of ever being free of Cole. And, if I’m right, he’s going to need someone on his side, if the truth lies where I suspect that it does. That Cole forced him to testify that he’d seen Evelyn’s car hit Claire that night.” I looked at Grace. Her eyes were wide and her bottom lip slack.
“I think there’s a chance, a very good chance, that your mother was set up. That Cole had Marks kill Claire that night, and that Evelyn never had any involvement at all. She may have never been anywhere near the accident scene that night.” I could see hope shining in Grace’s eyes. “If I’m right about all this, it’s the end of Bastien Cole. And I’ll be fucking glad to see him go.” I paused for a moment, realizing the truth of what I was about to say. “But I want this for you, Grace. More than I want Cole out of my way. I want the truth for you and for your mother. And I think Marks is the key.”
I sat with my hand over Grace’s. Her fingers were warm on my forearm, relaxing and squeezing, as she sat deep in thought. She leaned against my arm and I wove my fingers through hers. The light was soft, coming in through the windows and for a long while we sat in easy silence. I felt a feeling I hardly recognized. It seemed like hope. As if the future could hold more than I’d ever dared to want. I wondered if Grace was feeling the same. That perhaps the same man could free us both from our painful pasts, and the future could be anything we chose for ourselves.
My cell rang abruptly, breaking the silence. “Brian,” I said too loudly. “I was about to call you. I need you to say you found him.”
“I did, Kaine,” his voice crackled faintly. “But I didn’t find what you hoped for.”
“Goddamn it, Brian… just tell me what the fuck…”
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