by Anna Samuels
Alex nodded slowly. ‘So, are you uh…planning it soon? Did you say you came down here after a break-up?’
‘Yeah…’ I sighed. ‘So no…there will be no family planning any time soon.’
‘What happened? I mean...if you don’t mind me asking?’
I shook my head, meeting her eyes again. ‘I don’t mind you asking…she finished with me. She was fed up of our relationship and simply wasn’t happy. We had been stuck in somewhat of a rut for a while. She actually did me a favour.’
‘How so?’ Alex asked.
‘I was miserable,’ I admitted. ‘I hated my job and wasn’t particularly happy with her. When she finished it, I realised I didn’t even want to put up a fight for it to continue. I just accepted it and left.’
‘So you were living together?’
‘Yeah…up in London. I lived there because of her and worked in a school nearby.’
‘But that wasn’t going well?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘Really badly in fact. I was pushed into teaching by well-meaning parents but I have never enjoyed it and now it actually makes me miserable. I didn’t have a clear enough reason do make the move until now. I’ve handed in my notice and feel so much better about things.’
‘So you’ll be living down here? With Laurie?’ she wondered.
‘Well, I’m working my notice until the school Christmas holiday in London. I’ll be back here at the weekends but I’m not living with Laurie. I’ll be living at my Mum’s old house.’
‘Oh right…I didn’t realise you had more family in the area.’
‘Oh I don’t anymore…Mum died a year ago,’ I told her sadly.
‘I’m sorry, Ally…I didn’t realise.’
‘Thanks…well, she left us the house. Laurie was going to sell it but never did. As it’s standing there, we’ve decided I should live there.’
‘Is that what you want?’ she asked.
‘Initially no,’ I admitted. ‘I haven’t been there since she died. The place held too many memories for me until recently. I went there this week though and faced it all. Its home…it’s the home I grew up in and now I feel like it’s the only place I could ever end up. It’s funny how things go full circle sometimes.’
‘It sure is,’ she murmured.
‘So what about you?’ I asked, feigning a casual interest when in fact I was more than intrigued by her and wanted to know everything I could about her.
‘What about me?’ she asked, mischief shining in her eyes.
‘Oh, well…are you a local?’
‘Yeah…I was born and raised about ten miles from here. We live five minutes from here now,’ she told me.
‘We?’ I asked, before I could stop myself.
‘My partner and I,’ she told me.
Disappointment flooded my system in an instant. Why had I assumed she was single? Of course a gorgeous woman like her would be attached. I swallowed hard, trying to quench my feelings of sadness at this revelation. ‘Oh right,’ I managed. ‘What’s her name?’
Alex tilted head and regarded me quizzically. ‘What makes you think it’s a woman?’
‘Well it is, isn’t it?’ I frowned.
‘Well yeah…but people don’t usually know that about me…or even guess actually. I was just wondering how you knew.’
I shrugged. ‘It’s just obvious to me. I don’t know why…’
‘Hmm…’
‘Maybe I recognised myself in you…or something like that,’ I murmured, avoiding her eyes now.
‘Well, how strange…anyway, her name is Jenny.’
‘Oh right,’ I said looking back to her. ‘How long have you been together?’
‘Twelve years,’ she told me.
Twelve years? That was seriously long term. My disappointment increased and I chastised myself. Why had I assumed there was something burning between us when I didn’t even know her? It had been silly of me to even think that there might be something going on after a few, long looks. ‘Wow…that’s a long time. Do you have children?’
‘No…’ she said, looking at Zachary and Katie. ‘We never went down that route sadly…’
‘Sadly?’ I questioned.
‘Yeah…Jenny never wanted to have children. She much prefers dogs!’ she laughed ruefully.
‘Oh right…do you want children?’ I asked then, sensing the answer would be yes.
‘Well I might have…sometimes I think that having a family is something I’m missing from my life.’
I regarded her closely, seeing a need in her which mirrored my own. ‘I’ve felt the same a lot lately…especially when spending more time with these two,’ I told her, watching the children play happily. Zachary was helping Katie to decorate her mound of sand with shells. They made a gorgeous pair and the longing was there once more.
‘Well, I don’t think it’s an option for me these days…blimey, we’ve gotten deep and thoughtful in a short space of time!’ she exclaimed.
I chuckled, ‘we sure have!’
‘Ten minutes ago I barely knew you, and now I think I could say I have a way better idea about your life.’
‘Same,’ I murmured. ‘I guess as we’ll be working together, it would be good to know each other better,’ I said softly.
Her eyes smiled at mine. ‘It sure would. I have to say, I’m looking forward to having you around more.’
I felt myself swallow involuntarily. Her words were intended to be welcoming but my feelings towards her were already more than friendly. I would need to reign in my thoughts if I was to maintain a business-like relationship with her. ‘I’m looking forward to starting too…’
‘I suppose it will be a long stretch for you; up until Christmas.’
I nodded, ‘yeah…I’m going to break it up by coming back home as much as possible. I’ll be down each weekend setting up and preparing the shop.’
‘Maybe we should exchange numbers,’ she suggested. ‘In case there’s anything you’d like to ask or check when you’re away from here.’
‘That sounds like a good idea.’
‘I don’t know my mobile number off by heart but if you pop by the café on your way home, I’ll give it to you…oh and the key. I had a copy made for you.’
‘Wow, how exciting!’ I grinned. ‘I can’t wait to get started!’
‘I was thinking too…it might be worth getting a sign up soon with the name of the gallery and a coming soon notice.’
‘Good idea!’ I said, picturing it. ‘I’ll get on to it straight away.’
Alex smiled. ‘Well, I guess I better leave you to it.’
‘You don’t have to,’ I murmured.
‘I should…I really should,’ she said, shifting on the sand.
‘Well, it’s been nice to get to know you better.’
‘Ditto,’ she smiled.
‘Ally?’ a little voice piped up.
‘Yes honey?’ I said, addressing Zachary.
‘Is Alex your girlfriend?’ he asked innocently.
‘What? I exclaimed, stunned. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘Mummy says you have a girlfriend…which I thought was weird but she said some ladies do, and then said that you lived with her.’
‘Oh…’ I murmured, trying hard to figure out quickly what to tell my intrigued six year old nephew. ‘Well, Alex isn’t my girlfriend, Zachy, but I did live with another woman, yes.’
‘How come?’ he asked, watching me carefully.
‘Well, because sometimes a woman lives with another woman…’
‘Yeah…cos Mummy says you don’t love boys, but you love girls.’
I nodded, feeling emotional at having this conversation with him at such an early age. ‘That’s right honey. We all fall in love sometime or another…I just fall in love with other women. The thing is Zachy, that’s okay…it’s okay to love men, women…whoever…we can’t help who we fall in love with.’
‘I get it,’ he said, and returned to digging immediately.
The moment
was over in a flash and when I glanced up to Alex, I saw emotion in her eyes.
‘Well said,’ she whispered, and touched a hand to my arm in quiet support.
The place where she touched me burned with the contact. I shrugged. ‘How do you explain to a six year old?’ I asked quietly.
‘Just like that,’ she murmured, and patted my arm gently. ‘I better go,’ she said softly. ‘Pop by when you leave?’
‘Yeah, we’re coming up for lunch so we’ll be sure to pop in.’
‘Okay…bye kids!’ Alex said standing.
‘Bye Alex!’ Zachary called.
‘Bye bye!’ Katie chorused.
I watched her trudge up the sand with interest. When she turned to wave, I waved back, then turned back to the children and reminded myself to keep my feelings in check.
Chapter 9
Holiday
The children played for another half an hour and then we went to a nearby park. They played on the swings and the slides, Zachary crossed the monkey bars while Katie searched for sticks. When they had had enough, we walked back to the beach and along the front to the café. There, we walked up the sloped path and into the warmth of the old, brick building which was fairly quiet again.
We walked along the counter and collected various food and drink items that the children fancied. I then ordered them both a kid’s meal and myself a jacket potato. Soon we were sat at a table, snacking and waiting for our food.
‘What was that lady talking about, Ally?’ Zachary asked out of the blue.
‘Which lady?’ I frowned.
‘Alex…’
‘Oh!’ I exclaimed, ‘what do you mean?’
‘She was talking to you for ages!’ he enthused dramatically. ‘Why?’
‘Well, because I’m going to be working with her…here.’
‘What? You’re going to work in the café? Like a café lady?’ he asked, his frown furrowing his brow.
‘No, not exactly here but next door…I’m going to have an art gallery.’
‘What’s an art gallery?’ he asked.
‘It’s like a shop,’ I told him, trying to think how to explain it in child-friendly terms. ‘It’s a shop where I will sell my paintings, my drawings and all the special things I make.’
‘Oh,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘Like the treasure box you made for me and Katie?’
‘That’s right honey, exactly like that.’
‘So you’ll be a shop lady?’
‘Sort of,’ I laughed. ‘I’ll be a shop lady but mainly an artist.’
‘An artist?’
‘A person who makes art…paintings, drawings, sculptures…’
‘Oh I know, I know…Mummy says I’m a good artist.’
‘Ooh really? You’ll have to show me some of your work then,’ I told him seriously.
‘Okay! And can I be a shop lady too?’ he asked.
I chuckled, ‘You’d technically be a shop-man! But of course you can come and help in the shop.’
‘Thanks Ally! It’ll be fun!’
‘I think so too!’ I told him smiling.
‘Aren’t you a teacher usually?’ he asked then, the frown reappearing.
‘I am yes…but I wanted to do something different…something I love. We only have one life and I want to cram in everything I ever wanted to do. Being an artist is something I have dreamed about for my whole life, Zachy, so I’m going to give it a go.’
He nodded thoughtfully and then smiled at me. ‘When can I be a shop man?’
I chuckled to myself. ‘When I have the chance to get the shop created!’
We were interrupted then by the arrival of our lunch, brought by none other than Alex herself.
‘Hey guys!’ she grinned.
‘Hey,’ I smiled with pleasure.
‘Did you cook my lunch?’ Zachary asked in awe.
‘I did!’ she told him. ‘I hope you enjoy it!’
‘Oh I will! Alex? Ally says I can be a shop man when she opens her art shop! Isn’t that cool!’ he exclaimed.
‘It sure is! Well, if you want to have a go at being a ‘café man,’ you can after you finish your lunch!’
‘What really?’ he asked, looking stunned.
‘Absolutely! You can help me do some cooking in the kitchen.’
‘Oh wow, can I? Can I really?’
‘Of course! I’ll come and see you when you’re finished. Now be a good lad and eat up you lunch, hey?’
‘Oh I will, I promise,’ he said earnestly.
Alex smiled at me warmly before heading off back up the café towards the kitchen. I watched her retreating form intrigued. She was good with children, I mused. It was a shame her partner didn’t want children as she would have made a very good mother, I thought to myself.
‘Eat up then kids!’ I told them and tucked into my jacket potato with gusto.
Half an hour later, we were eating our puddings. This consisted of chocolate buttons for the children and a shortbread slice with chocolate on top for me. Alex wandered over just as we were finishing. The lunch time rush of people seemed to have died down and the room was much emptier.
‘How was your lunch?’ she asked, sitting down in the seat beside me and smiling.
‘Mine was gorgeous thank you! Kids?’
‘Yummy!’ Katie grinned.
‘It was lovely thanks, Alex. Look! I ate it all up, just like you said!’ Zachary told her, clearly pleased with himself.
‘Good boy! So are you ready to be a kitchen man? Help me cooking?’ she asked.
‘Yeah! Come on Ally! You can watch!’
I lifted Katie into her buggy and strapped her in. Zachary was already heading up the café when Alex stopped me.
‘Ally? Look at me a minute?’ she requested.
I turned to look up at her.
‘You have a tiny bit of chocolate…just here,’ she murmured softly, and then lifted her hand to the corner of my mouth. With her thumb she gently wiped away the chocolate.
The moment her skin touched mine, even though it was for the briefest of moments, my stomach flipped with tension and awareness hit me hard. My heartbeat accelerated and I felt butterflies skip through my body. My reaction to her was strong; the most physical reaction I had ever experienced to any other person. My eyes met hers and for a moment I saw a reflection of my own thoughts and feelings.
‘There…all gone,’ she murmured, and with that she was gone.
I watched her stride up the café to catch up with Zachary while my system tried to cope with what had just happened. Why had she done that? I wondered. If I had seen someone with chocolate on their mouth, I would simply have told them, not wiped it away by touching them. No, there had been a reason I mused. She must have wanted to touch me. I had seen it briefly in her eyes when our gazes met. There was something there; I was sure of it.
With my heart still hammering away briskly, I made my way up the café with the buggy and back into the kitchen.
‘You can park it over there,’ Alex told me, indicating a corner where I could put Katie while we watched Alex and Zachary work.
‘Okay,’ I murmured, and headed to the designated spot.
I watched as Alex showed Zachary how the order came in and then she helped him to put together a breakfast. She let him spoon mushrooms and beans onto the plate. She helped him to butter the toast and even got him to call out ‘order up!’ when they were done. Zachary’s face was a picture. He loved every minute of it and I could tell he was in his element as his tongue was dancing excitedly against his lip; a habit he had shown since he was young. I smiled at him happily, loving his reaction. Alex, also, was clearly enjoying herself. I could tell she wasn’t just entertaining him for the sake of me or for any other reason. She was genuinely enjoying the experience, it was written all over her face.
They worked together for about half an hour. When they were through, Zachary headed over with a smile.
‘Did you see me?’ he asked. ‘I did it all! I cooked breakfasts and s
andwiches! Alex said I did a good job!’
‘Yes you did! And a good worker gets paid his due…’ Alex said, walking up to him. ‘Here you go,’ she said to him. ‘Your wages, sir!’
‘Wow! Thank you!’
‘Don’t thank me, you earned it with all your hard work, Zachary,’ she smiled.
‘Thanks,’ he grinned. ‘Can we go to the shop now?’ he asked.
‘Sure,’ I smiled. ‘Thanks,’ I said, looking up to meet Alex’s eyes. ‘That was really kind of you,’ I told her, referring not only to the £1 she given him but also the time she had spent making his day special.
‘No problem,’ she murmured. ‘Oh here…the key and my number,’ she said, passing me an envelope.
‘Oh great! Thanks!’
‘So I guess I won’t see you for a bit now?’
‘I uh…I don’t know actually,’ I told her. ‘I’m here for this week so I will probably be down sometime to make a start on the gallery if that’s okay?’
‘That’s more than okay,’ she smiled. ‘The sooner the better!’
‘That’s my thinking too,’ I told her.
‘Well I’ll see you when I see you!’
I nodded. ‘Yeah…bye Alex. Say goodbye kids.’
‘Bye!’ they chorused.
We left out the back door and headed along to the shop.
‘That was so cool!’ Zachary enthused as the door shut behind us.
‘It sure was! Alex was kind wasn’t she?’ I said.
‘Yeah. I like her, Ally.’
‘I like her too,’ I murmured, knowing the truth of that statement was clear.
‘Do you?’
‘Well yes. She’s my friend now and someone I’m going to work for.’
‘Maybe your girlfriend?’ he asked.
‘What?’ I said surprised.
‘Why don’t you ask her to be your girlfriend? Then we can all see her more?’ he suggested innocently.
‘Honey, it doesn’t quite work like that…’
‘But I heard her say that she likes women too!’
‘Oh did you?’ I said, looking at him closely.
‘Yeah! On the beach! So she could be your girlfriend! I mean, you want a nice one…don’t you?’ he stated.