She paused. ‘And if you decide to help my father, know that I will grant anything you desire. His life is worth whatever price I must pay.’
The urge to accept her challenge was tempting. But he could not let the desire for land cloud his judgement.
‘If I did try to free him, what makes you believe I will succeed?’ he prompted. ‘Both of us could die in the attempt.’ He wanted her to fully understand how difficult this task was.
‘I have seen you fight.’ She raised her chin and added, ‘And you are not a man who gives up. The only question is whether you are willing to risk your life for the reward I am offering.’
* * *
After Taryn’s guard departed with detailed instructions about who to speak with at Laochre Castle, Killian slipped inside the donjon, heading for the spiral stairs. He wanted to see Carice this morn, to determine if she was well enough for the journey.
He crossed through the back of the Great Chamber and saw Taryn breaking her fast with the chieftain. Her eyes narrowed upon him, and she gave him a nod before she bent to Brian and spoke again. It was clear that she was talking about him, for her gaze passed over him once more. The distaste on Brian’s face was evident, but he motioned for Seorse to come forward.
Killian didn’t doubt that they were going to throw him out again, so he began walking up the staircase. But before he could reach the upper floor leading to his sister’s chamber, Seorse called out to him, ‘Killian, wait.’
Though he suspected he wouldn’t like hearing this, he paused until his friend reached the top of the stairs. Seorse tossed over a scrap of bread and said, ‘He wants to speak to you.’
There was no question that ‘he’ meant the chieftain. Killian wondered whether Taryn had succeeded in convincing Brian to allow him to come along with them. He tore off a piece of bread and ate it. ‘What does he want?’
Seorse shrugged. ‘I can’t be saying. But whatever the reason, you’d best go now.’
With reluctance, Killian returned down the stairway, finishing the remainder of the bread. No one paid him any heed as he approached the dais, feeling uneasy about the audience. Had Lady Taryn reached an agreement with the chieftain?
He crossed past the rows of tables, well aware of all the eyes upon him. Several of the men glared at him, particularly those with bruises and swollen jaws from the fight last night. The High King’s men were not among them, and he guessed they were preparing for the journey.
When Killian stood before Brian, the chieftain turned back to Taryn. ‘You are certain he is the fuidir you want to accompany you?’
‘I am. I have seen that he is a strong fighter, one who would serve well for my needs. I have need of a protector.’
They spoke of Killian as if he weren’t there, as if he were a slave to be bought and sold. A hardness tightened in Killian’s chest when Brian faced him at last. ‘You will join us on this journey to Tara, to guard the Lady Taryn and obey her bidding. I have agreed to her request, and you will follow the wagons on foot.’
Not once did the man ask if Killian was willing—the assumption of obedience was unquestionable. But there was a knowing look in Brian’s eyes, making Killian wonder why the man had agreed to this. Perhaps the chieftain was waiting for Killian to lose his temper, to lash out and refuse the command. And the moment he did, it would give the chieftain a strong reason to throw him out.
Instead, Killian bowed and walked away. Let Brian wonder why he’d obeyed.
He passed his friend Seorse, who followed him down the stairs and outside. ‘What did the chieftain want with you?’
‘I am to guard the Lady Taryn and do whatever she commands.’ He kept his tone even, though he didn’t like the insinuation that he was to obey her bidding.
Seorse only smirked. ‘I wouldn’t mind letting a lady order me around. She might want you to help her bathe or—’
‘No.’ Killian cut the man off and took a step forward. ‘She is helping me to guard Carice while she travels to Tara.’
‘Is she?’ Seorse teased. ‘Or does she want you to guard her at night? In her tent, perhaps?’
He swung his fist at Seorse, but the man ducked out of the way. ‘Peace, Killian. I’ll take you to the armoury, where you can get weapons.’ He motioned for him to follow him. ‘If you’re obeying the chieftain’s commands, there is no reason why you shouldn’t have every means of guarding the Lady.’
He ignored the dig, realising that this was a benefit he hadn’t thought of. Although he had spent a few summers training with the MacEgan soldiers, never before had he owned a sword. But Seorse was giving him the right to choose. Killian could hardly wait to get his hands upon these weapons.
He walked with Seorse to the far end of the fortress, towards a staircase that led up towards the battlements. After they reached the top, Seorse pulled out an iron key and unlocked the door.
Below them, within the inner bailey, Killian saw Taryn watching. He guessed that she wanted to speak to him, to tell him more about her conversation with Brian. He lifted his hand to acknowledge her before following Seorse inside.
His friend led him into the small armoury and picked up a torch from an iron sconce. Swords, maces, and daggers lined one wall while spears and colc swords hung upon another.
Killian studied each of the swords, ignoring the decorative hilts. Though a longer sword might be visually attractive, he preferred a sharp, light blade. In the end, he chose a colc sword. He also selected two daggers, neither one with jewels—only blades that were so sharp, the lightest touch drew blood upon his thumb.
‘I want these,’ he told Seorse.
The man gave him a belted scabbard for the sword and Killian secured one dagger at his waist and another in his boot.
The door opened, and light filtered into the room. Taryn stood at the entrance, and Seorse approached. ‘How may we be of service, Lady Taryn?’
‘I wish to speak to Killian alone. Leave us, if you will.’ Her regal demeanour made it clear that she expected to be obeyed. Seorse did, but he sent Killian a knowing look as he departed, closing the door behind him.
‘What did he say?’ he asked quietly.
She leaned back and crossed her arms. ‘Brian agreed to lend me your service, as my personal guard.’
‘Did you tell him anything else?’ He didn’t know if the Lady could be trusted yet. Carice’s life hung in the balance, and he knew not what she had said to Brian.
‘He already knows that my father is the High King’s prisoner, and that is why I am accompanying Carice. Brian told me that King Rory ordered the provincial kings to send soldiers to help defend Éireann against the Normans. He wants to build an army of men from all across our lands.’ She paused, then added, ‘My father did not send the soldiers. I suppose he thought to keep peace in Ossoria, protecting our people from having to shed blood in a war.’
But the man’s refusal was undoubtedly seen as rebellion, Killian suspected. ‘Rory will take the men, if that’s what he’s wanting.’ He came closer, studying the young woman. In the dim torchlight, the silver torque gleamed about her throat, though most of her face was shielded by the veil. ‘To deny the High King’s will is treason.’
She tensed when he drew closer. ‘I know it. But I can’t let him die.’ She wrapped her arms around her waist. Before he could speak again, she continued, ‘Brian was not going to let you come to Tara. When I mentioned it, he said that he didn’t want you near Carice. I didn’t like the way he spoke of you.’ She raised her defiant blue eyes to his, and they seemed to hold a greenish hue in the light.
‘I told him that I would be grateful if you would...become my guard. He offered me a man called Seorse, but I refused.’ Though she was trying to keep her tone neutral, he sensed her reluctance to tell him the truth.
‘There’s more, isn’t there?’ He faced her fully, wa
iting for her confession.
Taryn faltered a moment and admitted, ‘I let Brian believe that my interest in you was...more than the desire for a guard.’
He didn’t know what to say to that, for it was the last thing he was expecting. ‘Why would you say that?’
The young woman’s gaze lowered to the floor as if she were humiliated by the idea. ‘It was the only thing I could think of. And he...he agreed.’ She looked as if she wanted to disappear into the wall, but her daring had caught his attention in an intriguing way.
‘You let him think that you wanted me?’ The idea was so startling, he could hardly grasp it. ‘We’re hardly more than strangers.’
Taryn closed her eyes. ‘I know it. But surely you know that you are...a handsome warrior. It was as good a reason as any. And he believed it.’ She raised both hands to her cheeks as if to cool the flush.
That wasn’t the reason. The chieftain knew that Killian would rather die than be servant to a woman. It was a means of putting him in his place, of humiliating him. If he refused, then he could not guard his sister. If he agreed, then it forced him to obey the whims of Lady Taryn.
His anger rose up again, and he warned her in an iron voice, ‘I am no one’s slave.’
She stiffened, and her hands moved to her sides. ‘I never asked you to be.’
He took a step nearer, adding, ‘I am not yours to command, either. You need me more than I need you.’
‘You’re wrong,’ she murmured. ‘And while it’s not the way I wanted to travel, I’ve done this to help you.’ She took a breath and faced him. ‘I know that I am not fair of face, and it is an insult, asking you to join me in this ruse. But I thought you would want to be near your sister.’
There was no self-pity in her tone—only a woman who spoke with frankness. To hear her speak of herself in that way bothered him. Aye, she had scars that had transformed her face. But he did not find her repulsive at all.
Killian reached out to her chin, forcing her to look at him once more. When she opened her blue eyes, he saw traces of fear and anxiety. ‘Were you wanting me to share your tent?’ He wanted to see if her shyness was real or feigned, so he loosened the veil and drew his hand across her scarred cheek.
‘No! Of course not.’ She jolted at his touch, trying to pull back. And yet, he sensed that no one had ever paid attention to this woman. She was trying to make herself invisible, trying to hide behind her veil.
He caressed the line of her jaw, moving down to her throat. Beneath the linen, her silken hair fell against his fingertips. He could almost imagine the touch of those strands against his skin. When his gaze shifted to her gown, he realised that she did have generous curves. Enough to tempt anyone.
The thought interested him more than it should have. Her eyes held fear, but she bit her lower lip in a way that tempted him. This high-born woman was so far above him, and yet she did not seem to disdain his advances. Instead, she appeared startled, as if she had never been touched before. Likely she was still an innocent, her virginity meant as an offering to her future husband.
‘What would your father say, if he knew you made this offer?’
‘He...he would be angry with me.’
She averted her gaze, and he prompted further, ‘And what of your betrothed husband? Surely King Devlin’s only daughter is promised to wed a king or a king’s son. Will he not be angry?’
Her face turned scarlet, and she tried to pull away. ‘None of them wanted a scarred woman for a wife. My father offered a generous bridal price, but once they saw my face, they refused.’
There were years of hurt feelings bound up in her words, but he would not let her go. Not yet. ‘I don’t believe you. There are men who would wed a—’
‘A monster like me?’ she interrupted. She removed her veil and pulled back her hair, revealing her scars. ‘I know that. But why would I want to wed a man who only wanted my bride price?’
‘It happens all the time,’ he told her. ‘Men marry for a fortune and do not care who they bed.’
‘My father never demanded that of me.’ She squared her shoulders. ‘My mother would have wed me off to the first man who offered, without hesitation. But my father was more careful about arranging a betrothal. He allowed me the right to refuse any man I didn’t want, and I owe him my loyalty for that.’
No one had ever been loyal to him, save Carice. But he understood Taryn’s reasons.
‘So during this journey, I am to be at your bidding at all times?’ Killian drew his hand down her spine, cupping the small of her back. ‘Is that what you want?’
When she didn’t pull away, he wondered whether she was afraid of him...or whether there was any truth to her claim that she’d wanted him as more than her guard. He leaned in closer, until his mouth was hardly more than a breath away. If he’d wanted to, he could have kissed her. But he wanted to see her response...and in her expression, he saw only uncertainty.
She drew his hand away. ‘You will let Brian believe that you are obedient to me, yes.’
Her answer softened his frustration, for it now seemed that she was not trying to assert dominion over him.
‘And what else do you expect from me in front of the others?’
‘You don’t have to touch me and pretend that you desire me,’ she said. ‘That isn’t necessary. Obedience is enough.’
There was a brittle tone to her voice, and he realised that she truly believed no man would want her. ‘Brian will be watching us.’
Taryn shrugged. ‘I suppose he will. It matters not.’ The resignation on her face held years of hurt, and Killian wondered if she’d been locked away from the world, believing that no man would want her.
He drew his knuckles over her cheek, and she flinched from his touch. ‘No one will believe you, if you react in this way.’
‘I’ve already said, you need not put on a ruse. I’ve seen my likeness. Men who have seen my face turn away from me. They loathe the sight of me, and I cannot blame them for it.’
‘You were not born this way,’ he guessed.
She shook her head. ‘No. But it happened when I was a child. Few people remember what it was like before I was scarred. Including me.’
‘How were you hurt?’ he asked quietly. He framed her face again, tracing the scars that ran along her jaw. The edges were jagged, and he suspected again that an animal had attacked her. It brought out a protective instinct he hadn’t anticipated.
She stilled at his touch but didn’t pull away. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. Let me go.’
Beneath his fingers, he could feel the rapid pulse in her throat. She was afraid of him, and that wasn’t what he wanted.
Immediately, he let his hands fall away. He stood a hand’s distance away from her, and in the intimate space, he expected her to flee.
Instead, she said, ‘I let Brian believe that I desired you, for the sake of your sister. You promised to escort me to Tara, and I made it possible for you to do so. You’ll obey my orders, and I will grant you a place at my side.’
‘And at night?’
Her face was pale, her breathing hushed as her shoulders rose and fell. She might be a noblewoman, but she was not immune to him. There was fear there, but also an attraction to the forbidden.
‘At night I want nothing from you,’ she whispered. ‘You will sleep nearby to guard me, but that is all.’
Killian rested his palms against the wall, trapping her in place. For a long moment, he studied her, wondering if she understood the implications of this. She lowered her face and covered her scars with her hands, trying to shield them from his view. Slowly, he reached out to her palms and pulled them back. ‘You have nothing to hide from me.’
Taryn stared back, as if she didn’t believe him at all. He continued, saying, ‘On this journey, we will help each other. If you hel
p Carice to escape, I will take you to Tara—regardless of what happens afterwards.’
* * *
Taryn’s heart was racing. Her cheeks flushed from the touch of Killian’s hands upon her face. She fled the armoury, not looking back. With every step, she cursed herself for coming here to speak with Killian. His touch had shaken her senses, as if he could take the scars from her skin and heal them. Not once had he looked upon her as if she were a monster. Instead, he’d treated her as if she were far above his reach.
God help her, she’d found it all too easy to fall under his spell. His dark grey eyes had held resentment at the idea of being her guard. And when he’d pressed her against the wall, her wayward feelings had crumpled.
It was the first time in her life that a handsome man had looked upon her in that way. She’d been unprepared for her racing heart and the way her body had responded. Harsh and ruthless, this man would never yield to anyone. She shouldn’t like that at all. And yet, she’d found it thrilling to find a man who looked upon her as if he were about to steal a kiss.
She would have allowed it. She wanted to know what other women felt when a man captured her lips. She wanted to feel the breathless moment of surrender, to feel her first kiss.
Taryn slowed her steps, pulling her veil closer to hide her face as she drew nearer to the High King’s men. A man like Killian MacDubh would never kiss her of his own free will. It was only her imagination conjuring up such a vision. This man would never blindly follow her bidding—he would forge his own path.
As she made her way back to the donjon, she felt the eyes of strangers watching her. Taryn kept her face hidden as she climbed the staircase leading to Carice’s chamber. When she reached the door, she could almost sense the weariness within. The young woman had been sick throughout the night, and Taryn had found it difficult to sleep through her suffering.
Perhaps this journey would help her. If Carice could leave her room with its air of sickness, the fresh air might ease her.
Taryn reached the chamber at last and found the young woman still abed. Her eyes were closed, and she looked as if she were dying. A maid was packing Carice’s belongings, and Taryn ordered her out. ‘I will see to your lady. Go and see to it that they prepare the litter for her.’
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