by Scott, Tori
He picked up the phone and called his father's doctor to see if he would make a house call. The worry gnawed at him until the doctor declared Charlie had suffered no ill effects from his time outside, but thought Logan should bring him in the next afternoon for a checkup anyway.
***
Megan wanted to throw dishes, but they weren't hers to break. She couldn't even punch a hole in the wall because it wasn't hers, either. She didn't belong here. All she wanted now was to go home. She wished she had a home to go to.
She called Nancy and Jean and told them to look for another apartment. Hopefully they'd find one before she got back. They had a contract with Logan, but she'd just pay him the rent they owed through the end of the summer. He couldn't sue them over that. She hoped.
She was going to miss Katie and Charlie. It would break her heart to leave them, but she didn't have a choice. Logan would throw her out as soon as Carol got home if she didn't leave on her own.
Blue watched her pace the kitchen, his tail tucked firmly between his legs, his eyes sad. Katie was quiet, more quiet than a twelve year old girl should be. She tiptoed around both Megan and Logan, only speaking when Megan asked her a direct question, then answering only in monosyllables. She hadn't spoken a full sentence in more than a day.
When Megan had scrubbed the kitchen until it gleamed, she sent Katie to bed and went into her room. Because she wanted to collapse on the bed and cry, she started packing her things. As soon as Carol got home, she was out of there. She had better things to do than stay where she wasn't wanted or needed.
It seemed like she'd spent her whole life trying to be what others expected her to be. A quiet child, an excellent student, a dutiful daughter. She'd molded herself into whatever was required of her. But those days were behind her. She had a dream, she had a goal, and for once she had a life of her own. And no one was going to yell at her or berate her for doing what she loved, not ever again.
CHAPTER TEN
The telephone rang and jarred Logan out of a deep sleep. He'd dreamed about his mother in the garden, but when he'd looked down, it was Megan's face he saw under the cornflower-blue bonnet. Megan's face burned by the sun as she lay in a heap on the ground.
He snatched up the phone on the third ring. "Tanner."
"Logan, Mark Delaney here. We have a date for the custody hearing, but I have to warn you, Sue Ann isn't taking this lying down. I have a list of witnesses she plans to call to testify that you're married to your job and wouldn't give Katie a second thought once you're back in Dallas."
"Bull…hockey. I'm not making that mistake again. I can do a lot of my work at home. I've proved that while I've been out here." Logan shoved a hand through his hair, wishing he could get his hands on Sue Ann at that moment.
"Well, you may think that, but the track record is in her favor. She's prepared to testify that Katie will be left alone or with babysitters until late at night and only see you on rare occasions."
Logan bit off a foul curse and gripped the phone so hard he was afraid it would break in two. He forced himself to loosen his grip and take a deep breath to calm down. "So what can I do to prove her wrong?"
"It would help if I could tell the court you were staying in Morris Springs for good, and it would be even better if you were married to a nice, domestic, country girl."
Megan's image flashed through his mind, a picture of her bent over in front of the oven. He shook his head to clear the scene from his inner vision. He'd already blown that possibility. "Two strikes so far. Any more bright ideas?"
"No, I'm sorry. I'm not sure we have a prayer."
"Not even with the kidnapping? What kind of legal system would send Katie back to her mother after that?"
"Logan, there's no indication Sue Ann had any idea what Jerry was planning to do. He was trying to get back in her good graces by taking Katie back home, since he'd helped her leave in the first place. As far as we can tell, it was all his idea."
"Surely you don't believe that?" Damn, couldn't anything in his life go right, just once?
"No, I don't, but without any evidence to the contrary, I'm afraid the court will give her the benefit of the doubt."
Logan slammed the phone down and dropped his head back onto the desk. His one and only chance would have been Megan, and he'd ruined any possibility of that. For a minute, he wished someone would just shoot him and put him out of his misery.
***
Megan watched Logan warily as he came into the kitchen, ready to bolt if he said one word in the tone of voice he'd used in the garden. No man was going to talk to her like that and get away with it. She wasn't a worthless cur who didn't have sense enough to stay out of the hen house.
She stirred the scrambled eggs and kept her back to him as he poured a cup of coffee. When she heard the scrape of the chair as he sat at the table, she wished Katie was awake to act as a buffer. Chagrined at the thought of putting a child in that position, she determined to make the best of her last day in this house and try to get along with Logan.
She could still be mad at him, she just needed to be mature enough to hide it.
She put the eggs and toast on the table beside the bacon and grits. Then she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down across from him without looking at him. Keeping her head lowered, she took a bite of eggs that could have been ashes, for all she cared.
Logan laid his fork on the table and she looked up. His gaze was steady on hers, his expression apologetic. "Megan, I want to apologize…."
She shook her head and scooted her chair back. "Please, don't. You said what you felt yesterday. I'm going home this afternoon, which is what you've wanted all along, so let's leave it at that, okay?"
"No, it's not okay. Katie isn't speaking to me because I yelled at you, Charlie is upset over the tension in the house, and Blue hates my guts."
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it. I'll be out of your hair before dinnertime and everything will get back to normal. In a few weeks you can stick your father in a nursing home and get back to your rich, busy life in Dallas. I'll only be a bad memory."
She stood and scraped her eggs into Blue's bowl and left the kitchen, not bothering to turn around to see Logan's reaction.
Damn, he couldn't even apologize right. And that remark about sticking Charlie in a nursing home hurt. If he did, it would be because he'd get better care there than Logan could give him. Not because he couldn't wait to get rid of him.
He'd hoped Megan would listen to him, that she'd accept his apology so they could get back to where they'd been before he'd blown it. Then he could have courted her, maybe even made her fall for him enough to marry him so he could get custody of Katie. But she wouldn't stop being mad long enough to listen, and he only had a few hours left. Hours that were ticking away as he sat in the kitchen feeling more alone than he had in years.
Determined to get the chores out of the way so he'd have time to talk to Megan again before she left, he headed for the barn. It was blazing hot already, and the sun had barely peeked over the horizon. He pulled his shirt out of his waistband and unbuttoned it, then tossed it over the fence as he walked by.
He milked the Jerseys and fed the chickens. He hurried through gathering the eggs and set the egg basket on the back porch. Then he made a quick tour of the fence line and the herd, checking for any sign of trouble. When he found a section of fence down, he bit out a curse and went back to count the cows. Two missing.
He didn't have time for this. If he didn't hurry, Megan would be gone before he got back to the house. Carol was due in before noon.
It took him an hour to round up the strays with his dad's old truck. Without Blue to help, it was harder than it should have been. He patched the fence as quickly as he could, then raced for the house, spraying dust and gravel as he swung into the driveway. Megan's car was still parked in front of the house, Jake's truck beside it.
Logan exhaled a deep sigh of relief and swung out of the vehicle. He cleared the front steps in one leap and ya
nked open the door. Somehow, some way, he had to convince Megan to hear him out, to listen without that damned stubborn chin in the air, until he could convince her he truly was sorry.
As soon as he stepped inside, he knew something was wrong. Megan was speaking urgently into the phone, a comforting arm around Katie's shoulder. Katie's face was streaked with tears and Blue was tight against her side, nudging her hand with his nose when she stopped rubbing his head.
Megan looked up when he moved closer, her eyes revealing pain, fear, and compassion all in one glance. "Thank you," she said to the person on the other end of the line. She hung up the phone and reached a hand out to him, laying her palm gently on his arm. "Logan, your father has had another stroke. An ambulance is on the way."
Everything he'd planned to say to her drained from his mind as he ran for Charlie's room. Carol stood beside the bed, tears rolling down her cheeks as she rubbed Charlie's limp hand in her own. Jake was beside her, his arm firmly around her waist.
"What happened?" Logan asked as he moved to stand beside Carol.
"I don't know. He was asleep when I got home, and I tried to wake him up to let him know I was back, but he won't wake up."
Logan sat on the edge of the bed and picked up Charlie's other hand. He didn't know what else to do. In silence, they waited for the ambulance to arrive. Megan and Katie joined the group around the bed, and Logan couldn't help thinking it looked like they were holding a death vigil.
Charlie would hate that.
***
Logan sat beside his father, the noise and bustle of the emergency room a muted blur in the background. Carol sat on the edge of the bed, Charlie's hand in hers as she begged him to open his eyes. The rhythmic beep of the monitors was the only indication he was still alive.
"Daddy, is Grampa going to die?" Katie whispered.
Logan dragged a hand over his face, then shook his head. "I don't know, sweetheart. I hope not." He stood up and took Katie's hand. "Let's go get a soft drink and give Aunt Carol a few minutes alone with him, okay?"
They left the room, but Logan thought it might be the hardest thing he'd ever done. He and Katie found the cafeteria and bought their drinks, then sat in silence for a while, each lost in their thoughts and fears.
When he thought Carol had had enough time alone with Charlie, they went back upstairs. Carol sat with her head bowed, tears dripping onto her pants leg. Logan placed a hand on her shoulder. "Any change?"
Carol looked up, her face bleak. "No. He hasn't moved. I need to go outside for some fresh air." At the door, she turned. "Katie, do you want to come with me?"
Katie looked at her father. When he nodded, she followed Carol from the room. Logan sat down in the chair next to the bed again and picked up his father's callused hand. There was so much he needed to say to his father, but he didn't know where to start.
"I'm sorry I left home so young and left you to take care of everything all by yourself. I couldn't stay after what happened to Mom. It was all my fault. If I'd done my chores that day like I was supposed to, she wouldn't have been out there weeding the garden in that heat. She wouldn't have died. I've never forgiven myself for that."
He watched Charlie's face, but there was no sign that his father had heard a word he said. "I blamed you, too. For bringing her out here. For letting her work so hard. I didn't know which of us was the most at fault. But I hated it here. I couldn't wait to put the farm behind me."
He felt an almost imperceptible pressure against his hand. He looked down to see Charlie's fingers curled around his own. Could his father hear him? "I want to ask you to forgive me. For not helping more when I was a kid. For letting Mom down. For letting you down. I love you, Dad."
Charlie's doctor stepped into the room and Logan moved back so he could tend to Charlie. A few minutes later the doctor led Logan from the room. "I'm moving him to ICU. The next 24 hours will give us a better idea of his chances. I've ordered some tests that will tell us how extensive the damage is. I'm sorry I can't tell you more right now."
Logan nodded and shook the doctor's hand, then joined Carol and Katie outside. Megan sat on a bench, Katie's head in her lap, while Carol paced up and down the sidewalk. She headed his way as soon as she saw him step through the door.
"Any news?"
"Not much. He's moving to ICU, and the doctor has scheduled some tests, but they don't know much right now." Logan looked at Megan, then back to Carol. "Why don't you take Katie home? Megan's probably anxious to get on the road."
Carol shook her head. "No, she's already said she'll stay until we hear something about dad. She tried to insist on going to a motel, but I wouldn't let her. I'll get her to take Katie back to the house, but I'm staying here."
Maybe that would be best. He hated the idea of Megan leaving with this strain between them. At the very least they needed to clear the air and see where they stood. "Okay. Tell her to keep Blue close to the house. She can call Jake if there's an emergency."
"I'll have Jake check on them both when he can. She'll be all right, Logan, and so will Katie. But if you don't wipe that worried look off your face, she'll think you don't trust her."
***
Megan stayed with Katie while Logan and Carol spent as much time at the hospital as they could. She and Katie fed the animals and gathered the eggs every morning, then spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and working in the garden. Twice a day they went to the hospital to visit Charlie, who remained unresponsive.
Each time Megan left the hospital, she expected to get a telephone call telling her Charlie had passed away. The tension was wearing on her, but not nearly as much as it was on Logan. His face looked haggard, his shoulders drooped with exhaustion.
Jake drove Megan and Katie to the hospital several times and she got to know a little about him and his life. The more she learned, the more she admired him and hoped someday he and Carol would end up together.
Tuesday morning, she took Katie to town to buy groceries, then stopped by the feed store and bought some vegetable plants and a few flowers. At least planting would give her something to do to keep her mind off Logan, and off Charlie's illness. She'd come to love the old man in the short time she'd known him. She refused to think about her feelings for Logan.
By early afternoon, the garden was planted, and she'd turned on the sprinkler to water the tender plants. Then she and Katie settled in play Monopoly.
She saw Jake's truck pull into the drive and checked her watch, wondering if she'd lost track of time. She saw they still had two hours until visiting hours. "I'm going out to see what Jake wants. I'll be right back."
"Okay. I'm going to get some ice cream. You want some?"
"Sure. Thanks." Katie went into the kitchen and Megan stepped onto the front porch as Jake rounded the front of his truck.
***
Logan sat on a chair beside Charlie's bed, the beeping of the monitors his only company. He'd talked to his father more in the last three days than he had in years. Only he'd waited too late. Charlie couldn't hear him, couldn't answer his questions, couldn't take away the burden of shame Logan carried over his mother's death.
As he held his father's hand, he felt the deep calluses created by years of hard work. He looked at his own hands, where newly formed calluses had begun to form over the last few weeks. Something shifted inside him, something that softened the edges of his pain and anger, and he felt closer to his father than he'd ever felt before.
Charlie's fingers tightened on his in a grip almost painful in intensity, and Logan jerked his head up to search his father's face for signs of awakening. As he watched, Charlie's features relaxed, a corner of his mouth tilted up in a slight smile and he breathed out a deep sigh. Then his hand went limp.
The beeping of the monitor changed to a continuous tone and Logan looked up as a doctor and two nurses rushed into the room, pushing a crash cart. For ten minutes they tried to bring Charlie back, but it was too late. He was gone.
Logan hung his head, th
e pain so intense he thought his heart would stop, too. He heard a gasp behind him, and looked up to find Carol standing in the doorway. He stood and went to her side.
"No! Dear God, no." Carol's wail echoed through the intensive care unit. Logan felt helpless as he pulled her to him and let her cry against his chest. He led her from the small room into the hall.
"He can't be dead, Logan, he just can't be." Her tears soaked his shirt and he wanted to cry, too. But he needed to be strong for his sister. "It's okay, Carol. He's with Mom, now. He's missed her all these years. I don't think he'd want us to be sad that he's finally found her again." In spite of his words, he felt empty. It was the same dead, dull feeling he'd had the day he'd lost his mother. Once again the land had won. It had sapped Charlie's vitality, taken away his ability to fight off the stroke that had led to his death.
Carol sniffed and lifted her head, a small, trembling smile on her lips. "He is with Mom, isn't he? But I'm going to miss him so much."
"We all are. I think we've always thought he'd be around forever." He reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Just remember how much he loved you. You were his only daughter, and the baby too, so you were always special. And the fact that you look so much like Mom made you even more precious to him."
Carol nodded and wiped her face. "Thanks, Logan. You've always known how to make me feel better. But it's still going to hurt for a long time."
"Yeah, I'm afraid it will."
***
Jake, Katie, and Megan found Carol standing in the empty room, folding Charlie's pajamas. Katie ran headlong into Carol's arms, crying as she had since Megan had been handed the difficult job of breaking the news about her grandfather.
Carol wrapped her arms around Katie and held her tightly. Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other, looking lost and unsure what to do. Megan went to put her arms around her friend.
"I'm so sorry," Megan said, her voice trembling. She'd lost her aunt three years ago, and the pain was still fresh. Today's events had brought it all back with stinging clarity. "Is there anything I can do?"