by J. L. Imhoff
I laid my head back as the pain eased. The image of my mother receded, but I didn’t want her to leave.
Finally, the intense throbbing sensation where he touched me faded and he let go. Retreating to the back of the cave, he sat down with his back firmly pressed up against the cave wall. He sat with his legs crossed and closed his eyes with his hands resting on his knees, palms up, a meditative posture.
I started shivering, my teeth chattering as a deep chill settled over me. Unsure if it was shock, blood loss, or both, I couldn’t seem to control my quivering. I’m so cold.
The smell of smoke drifted to me. I heard the crackle and pop of a fire as a woman’s laugh reverberated on the cave walls. Then I heard kissing and moaning.
Shivering, I envisioned myself crawling to the fire, bathing in its radiant warmth, but I didn’t have the strength. I considered the possibility of calling out to the couple, of screaming for help, but an inexplicable force whispered to my heart, it would be the wrong move. Trust the man who had placed his hands on me. Remain silent, it said.
The heat of the big guy’s hand as he touched my leg startled me.
“You’re freezing,” he said, more as an observation.
“Fire,” I croaked out through chattering teeth, my muscles sore and growing rigid from the cold.
“I can’t let you go out there,” he mumbled almost considering doing exactly that. He glanced to the mouth of the cave and came forward on his knees, perhaps preparing to pounce on our unwelcome visitors. His eyes slid back to me and he touched my wet and torn dress. “This isn’t helping.”
“I’mmmm nnot taking ittt off,” I chattered, pulling my wet dress in closer to me, hoping to maintain some level of modesty. My hair hung in a no-doubt perfect impression of a wet mop, plastered to my back and shoulders in a tangled mess. I hugged my arms around myself tightly, trying my best to keep what warmth I had.
“Then… I can keep you warm,” he offered, indicating the space behind me. “It’ll help—may I?”
I looked to the opening of the cave, wishing the warmth of the fire would spread to us. No man had touched me since David laid his hands around my throat—since his arms had shoved me to my death. Carefully I weighed the options, and differences. Sure, the big guy had touched my abdomen to heal me, but it wasn’t the same as having him embrace me. I trembled more now, which I wouldn’t have thought possible.
It came back to my not wanting to die. If I didn’t allow him to warm me, I could go into hypothermia. Trust him, the voice whispered again.
I nodded—a slow and resistant permission.
He crawled in behind me, and slowly positioned himself, spooning me. Scorching heat radiated from his body.
The embrace was intimate, intended or not. I held my breath cause, ‘ya know, he was naked except for his sword harness. Never had I been so grateful for a torn dress. At least I had a layer of something in between us.
“I’ve stopped the bleeding, but you lost a lot of blood—you’re going into shock from it. I’ve done as much as I can right now, but if we get you into the water, and you transform, I can complete the healing. It works better in Mer form,” he whispered, into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. The edges of his sword harness pressed against my back. My posture likely signaling the discomfort, the big guy adjusted the way the swords laid. “We’ll stay here until the beach lovers have gone.” One arm protectively draped over my waist, he tentatively nudged a leg between mine, settling in as if this was an everyday occurrence.
Despite my reservations, his intense heat melted my frozen body and my trembling slowly subsided. It felt good… almost too good, and I tensed.
Memories of David forced themselves to the front of my mind. Pushing back the unwelcome comparison, I decided David no longer controlled my life.
Voices carried on the wind, snapping me out of my dark thoughts. The memories of David receded as my body thawed, shock fading.
The big guy left me for a moment, crawled to the front of the cave, and stealthily watched them. His absence allowed the chill back and I started shivering again. Whether the heat or companionship, I didn’t know, but I wanted him back, his arms around me.
As if he heard my thoughts, he crawled to me, and reclaimed his position. With his body again pressed up against mine, the heat radiated from him, filling me with a cozy warmth. “They have sleeping bags and are starting to make love now. I think we’re in for a long night. We’ll have to wait until they’re asleep, and then try to sneak around them.”
The tension I experienced before was now gone and a comfortable, safe feeling cocooned me. I found my non-shaky voice, and spoke softly. “Thank you for your help. I didn’t mean to be a bitch before, I was in a lot of pain,” I justified, ashamed of my lack of gratitude.
He grunted in response.
“What’s your name?” I cautiously rolled onto my back to see his face better and he shifted his position to accommodate me. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the cave, but it was still hard to see.
He was lying on his side, propped up on one arm, legs crossed, with his left lying on top of my right. His long hair tickled my neck and shoulders when he moved. “They call me Roman,” he yawned.
“My name’s Anna, Anna Ryan.” I stuck out my hand to shake his falling back on old formalities.
He glanced down at my hand and then back to the cave entrance, as if he wasn’t familiar with the gesture. Before I dropped my hand in rejection, he reached down, and brought it to his lips. He gently kissed the back of my hand, but didn’t drop it immediately. Instead, he continued to gently hold it and rub his thumb over the back of my knuckles. “I’m just Roman.”
The sounds of the couple’s lovemaking were loud and it was hard to ignore. I blushed, grateful for the darkness to hide my reddening face. “That’s your only name? Roman?” Talk about anything other than the obvious very loud noises. I looked down at our hands, unsure if I should take mine back or let him hold it.
“It’s not my name.” His eyes locked with mine and then darted back to the cave entrance when the woman cried out. “It’s where I’m from.”
“You’re from Rome?”
He didn’t answer, his eyes fixated on the cave entrance.
“What’s your real name?”
“I’ve never told anyone,” he snapped. “I’m from a place that existed a long time ago. It’s not a time I prefer to remember.” He recovered a softer tone, acting as though he’d become more aware of his manner. Then closed his eyes, lost in a memory. His thumb stopped moving and I noticed he held his breath.
The sound of the couple’s lovemaking grew in volume. It was the loudest and most vocal I had ever heard. Not that I’d heard many people making love before—but geesh—they obviously were not trying to be quiet.
“That’s fine, I can respect that.” I took my hand back and adjusted my position. The small stones underneath me bit into my skin, but otherwise the soft sand offered an inviting bed. Lacking any ideas on how to drown out the couple, I decided to be quiet for the moment until they finished.
Roman draped his arm around me again, tentatively, and I placed my hand over his on my abdomen as his arms tightened. This time I became more aware of his body pressed up against mine, he remained quiet and still as a mountain—but underneath I sensed his restraint.
While we lay there in the darkness, hiding, he moved his hand from my abdomen to my shoulder, where my back met my upper arm. He touched my skin with his fingertip and then hesitated. “May I?” he whispered, his hot breath fanning my ear, causing hairs all over my body to stand on end.
Unsure of what he intended, I slowly nodded. His warm hand traced the lines of receptors from my shoulder down to my hand.
I shivered, but not from the cold this time. A rush of endorphins released and I experienced a euphoric buzz all the way to my core.
He placed his hand over mine and drew me in closer to him, burying his face in the nape of my neck while the couple finished with
a few loud and melodramatic screams.
At his tender touch, I started to fantasize about Roman making love to me, but then I convinced myself what I was feeling wasn’t real—it was only a byproduct of being a covert eavesdropper.
But I couldn’t help feeling something… I simply didn’t know what the something was.
You’re confusing me.
Chapter 7
Remaining a complete gentleman, Roman continued to hold me, as I dozed off, exhausted from the pain. I had no idea how much time had passed when he nudged me.
“I think they’re asleep. Do you want to make a run for it?” he whispered, getting onto his knees and glancing at the cave entrance.
“I’m not sure I can make it—I’m weak and slow. Can we wait?” It was dark outside and their fire still roared, the golden flames reflecting on the rocks near the entrance. Thankfully, their lovemaking had long since quieted and my fantasies had faded.
“You’re not completely healed. We need to get you into the seawater soon.” To illustrate, he brushed his hand across my wound and I winced.
“Where did Lily go? Was she hurt by the shark?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Of course not. She had to return and inform the High Council what happened.”
“What’s the High Council?”
“It’s a governing body. We should leave,” he insisted, pulling on my arm gently.
“I’m not even sure I want to go back,” I pondered aloud. Will he throw me over his shoulder and take me back?
I’m a new person now. I’m a… Mer.
This is something millions of people would love to know about. Change your perception. Stop fighting it. Embrace it.
“You have to go back. Poseidia is your home now. You’re now a part of the sea. Without it you’ll die.” He settled his weight back onto his feet, his toes disappearing into the sand.
“What do you mean?” I paled at the understanding. I’ll die? I wanted to argue, but my heart knew he spoke the truth. “You mentioned before about Mer. I guess that confirms I’m some sort of… mermaid, right?”
“Was it not clear?” He chuckled, “Do you doubt what you see?”
“I’ve doubted everything since I woke up in a new body, in a strange city beneath the ocean. Wouldn’t you?”
He resumed his place behind me, but he didn’t have to—I was warm now, all the way through. Still, I didn’t object as he buried his face in my hair.
“I was human once, too,” he confessed, as if he’d never uttered the words to another living soul.
“So, you’re the other one Lucas told me about?” I guessed. “You were… a human? I can tell you’re different, but I didn’t know to what extent.”
“All I wanted for years was to go back to my human life.” He rolled onto his back, away from me, placing his hands under his head.
“You understand… I need to return to my old life.” I tried to sit up, but the pain forced me back down.
“I did return, but after two days, I started to die all over again. If we’re out of the ocean for any extended length of time, we dehydrate… and then…” He moved back onto his side.
“No, maybe it’s different for me,” I reasoned, almost pleading for it to be true, for me to be the exception.
“It won’t be different—it’ll be agony. What do you have on land that is worth your life? A husband? Children?”
“I don’t have a husband or… children.” Not anymore. “I had my life. A job. I had a boyfriend.”
“That’s what you want to go back to? A… boyfriend?” he scoffed.
“You don’t understand,” I accused.
“I understand more than you think,” he whispered, lowering his voice. “You want revenge.”
A long pause echoed in my brain as I absorbed the truth. “It’s not for… revenge. I have this locket… my mother gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday and I’ve never been without it since… until now.”
“You would risk your life for a piece of jewelry?”
“You don’t understand… my mother died a year and a half ago. Within days of her passing, my father discarded everything she owned… including every photo of her and me when I was a child. Until you’ve been through something like that, you’ll never understand the sentimental value of a single object can be worth more than all the money in the world. It’s literally the only photo I own of her and me, because as soon as I was old enough I moved out to get away from my father and didn’t have as much contact as I should have. Then she got sick… and was gone before I knew what I was losing. The vacuum… I filled it with the locket. I know you probably think it’s silly…”
“No, I understand more than you know. I would give anything for a photo of… I understand, but is it worth your life?”
“Why do I have to choose between life and my locket? Why can’t I have both? If I have to start a new life here, I need it. There’s a chance it’s still with my things, unless David was like my father. But I have to know. If it’s gone then I’ll have to accept it, but if there is even the slightest chance I can find it, I have to try. Let me leave now, tonight… I can find my way, somehow. I’ll come back, I promise.” My eyes wandered to the mouth of the cave—the fire was dying.
“I’ll help you retrieve your locket,” he assured. “But now is not the time. You’re wounded and they expect us back.”
“When? The longer I’m dead to the world, the more chances of it being lost forever.”
“I’ll let you know. Now, rest. We’ll wait until the beach lovers leave to make our escape.”
I turned my head back to stare at the ceiling, unable to relax. Roman shifted his position, and then fell asleep within minutes. He snored lightly as his breath moved locks of his hair.
Will he really help me? Can I trust him? Do I want him to help me? Do I have a choice? Is there any other way?
No, I need his help.
I drifted off sometime before dawn, but only entered a deep sleep for a few minutes before Roman moved and said, “It’s dawning. I sense them waking. Be ready. We want to be gone before the beach fills up.”
“I don’t think I can move.” I sat up, and then laid back down, feeling dizzy and faint.
“We have to get you back in the water to heal. I’ll carry you,” he offered.
“No, I’ll do it, give me a minute.” I do not want him to throw me across his shoulder again. No way.
“Then lean on me.”
“No. Just go and I’ll meet you in the water.” I needed a minute alone to pee. “Please, and don’t ask why.”
“You’re stubborn.”
“So?”
He crawled back to the front of the cave. “They’re packing up and will be gone in a minute. Be ready.” He came back to me. “It’s a shame they did not make morning love.”
“You’re such a voyeur,” I teased.
“I will meet you under the swell of the sea. You have two minutes, be quick about it.”
“Give me three.”
“Fine. I will be watching the mouth of the cave and if I see you try to run for it, I will throw you over my shoulder.”
“I’ll be there, just go.”
“And I promise, I’ll help you,” he reassured as he lifted me to my feet. “You’re Poseidian now. You’ll never be the same.” He took me by the hand, and led me to the cave’s entrance. “I hear their car door, I’m going. I’ll see you in two.”
“No, three.”
“Right.” He released my arm, and ran out of the cave toward the water. He ran so fast he became a blur as he dove under the waves.
Standing now, I felt better—the dizziness had passed. Quickly, I did my business, and then walked to the front of the cave, staring out over the ocean.
I hesitated. Do I trust him, or do I cut and run now? So many thoughts skipped through my head, I needed time to sort them out. Time was a commodity I didn’t have.
No, I can’t move nearly as fast as he can. Would he really come after me if I
decided to run? Yeah, of course he would. With no other viable choice, I decided to go back, to trust him.
In the moment of decision, I emerged from the shadows of the cave with my souvenir tooth, frantic to follow Roman. I hobbled after him, and then gained speed. With every stride, I became more committed to my decision. I can do this.
Before I dove into the waiting sea, a sound caused my head to turn. Against the rising sun, a shadow of the car remained. I’d heard the car doors slam shut, but the engine hadn’t started.
I moved too slowly.
My eyes met those of the human man, as he closed the trunk of his car, and walked around to the driver’s side. He’d stopped with his phone aimed toward me.
He saw me. Oh no.
I paused too long before diving after Roman. Hopefully he would dismiss a vision of an iridescent woman, wearing a tattered and torn dress, to be an illusion.
As I broke the surface of the water, it embraced me, welcoming me back. I transformed and moved faster than I could walk.
Roman waited for me, as promised, under the swell of the waves. In the fading darkness, he glowed a light blue color, the same as when he’d healed me.
He smiled, looking relieved and happy. It was the first time I’d ever seen him genuinely happy. Maybe he’s not so bad.
Claiming my hand, he kissed the back of it, before placing his hands over my wound to complete the healing he’d started in the cave.
With me in tow, Roman swam back toward Poseidia, to home.
Home.
It sounded good.
Chapter 8
By the next morning, I’d convinced myself I imagined the whole thing. When I opened my eyes, Lily stood at the foot of my bed, her arms crossed sternly over her chest.
“The glass wall opened on its own and I fell through the dome,” I explained in my defense, before she even said a word.
“I know.”
“How do you know?” I asked, surprised.
“I sensed your departure when it happened. We all did.” She pulled up the computer menu to the glass wall in my bedroom and typed something.