“My thought exactly, Mrs. Green.” Her barb had stung, but Josh would be damned if he’d show it.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I know. That’s why you like me so much.”
Dana opened her mouth in protest but quickly clamped it shut. Her mood seemed to shift from annoyed to skittish, her eyes quickly darting away from him. “Let me just use the bathroom and we can go. Okay?”
Josh nodded, smiling. He still intended to proceed with caution; but in his gut, he knew he was almost there.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Dana was a tangle of emotions as she walked down the beach with Josh. She’d been stunned when Josh told Mrs. Hastings she was his wife, then angered, and finally, unnerved. Now she was juggling all three feelings, along with two or three others that were definitely not welcome.
To be honest, she’d been edgy all day, between the impending boutique opening and her confusion about Josh. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed with doubts about her profession, unable to stop herself from playing the “What If ” game.
Dana was proud to have assembled an exceptional sales team at La Belle Femme. She was particularly pleased with the manager, Suki, who had years of experience running small, personalized boutiques. Dana reminded herself that none of La Belle Femme’s stores had ever performed less than fabulously. She was silly to worry.
She and Josh strolled silently beneath a radiant moon, white clouds slowly floating past like beautiful, languid ghosts. Josh appeared lost in his thoughts. She let him continue his contemplation for a good while, but eventually, the quiet began to make her uneasy.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Josh said distractedly.
“What’re you thinking about?”
“Us,” he replied bluntly.
Dumb question, followed by an obvious answer. Dana couldn’t think why she’d even asked. Josh stopped walking, and taking off his jacket, spread it out on the sand for Dana and sat down.
“You’re very good at unexpectedly dropping emotional bombs on me,” Dana informed him lightly as she settled down next to him, arms clasped around her knees.
“They’re not bombs. They’re truths.” Josh’s expression was so intense, Dana almost couldn’t look at him. “I don’t want this to end when you leave Florida. I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but right from the start, I had a feeling about you. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like some mystical asshole, but you opened a door inside me that’s been closed for a long time.” He paused. “Don’t deny you feel the same way.”
Dana looked down at the sand, evading his eyes. “I do, but it’s not that simple.”
“Seems simple to me. We just do the long-distance thing.”
Heart beginning to pound, Dana forced herself to look at him. “We’ll be too far from each other to do that,” she informed him softly. Her throat tightened. “I’m moving to Paris.”
Josh just stared at her.
“I got a phone call today,” Dana continued, determined to keep her tone neutral. “Originally, the job had been dangled in front of my face as a reward if the Palm Beach launch was successful. But now the company has decided to open a permanent branch, located in Paris. They want me to be director of retail expansion for Europe.”
Josh’s gaze betrayed nothing. “And this is what you want.”
Dana’s heart was banging against her ribs. “I do. This kind of opportunity doesn’t come along every day. Plus, I’ve earned it. And I love Paris.”
She was going to continue, but Josh held up his hand. “I get it.”
Brooding silence returned. Dana was glad she’d been able to deliver the news without becoming emotional. It had been weighing on her all day.
This time it was Josh who broke the silence. “Distance is distance,” he pointed out calmly. “I’m my own boss. I can fly to Paris whenever I want.”
Dana felt queasy. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m viewing this as a fresh start for me. It hurts me to say that, but it’s true.”
“I love you, Dana.”
Dana screwed her eyes shut. “Please don’t say that.”
“Why? Because it complicates your life?”
She forced herself to look at him. “Yes.” She locked her arms tighter around her knees. “We’re infatuated with one another. It’s not love.”
Josh looked irritated. “I’m not a kid, Dana. I know the difference between infatuation and love.”
Dana rested her forehead on her knees. This was awful, much harder than she’d expected. “Don’t.”
“You bring out the best in me.”
“You have to stop.”
“I’ll stop when you look at me and tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
Dana reluctantly lifted her head. What she was about to do wasn’t unforgivable, she told herself. It would save a wonderful man a good deal of pain.
“I love you, Josh,” she said gently, “but I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry.”
Josh was quiet a second, then rose to his feet. “Ah. The old ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ distinction. Classic.”
Dana’s thoughts raced in circles. He hates me now. But he has a right to. But I don’t want him to. I want him to love me. He does, you little bitch. And you just—
“I think we should take off,” Josh said wearily. “I’m kinda beat, and I’m sure you must have a lot of last-minute stuff to take care of before the opening.” He extended a hand to help her up, picking up his jacket and shaking the sand out before wrapping it around her shoulders.
“Friends?” Dana asked tentatively.
Josh nodded curtly. Dana reminded herself that sometimes, doing the right thing hurt. That’s what her mother used to tell her, and Dana had scoffed, having no use for platitudes. But once again, it turned out her mother was right. The problem was, doing the right thing gave her no comfort. It just made her feel awful, especially since she was now something she’d never thought she’d be.
A liar.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Oh my God. I am so tired.”
Dana flopped down on her grandparents’ couch, kicking off her shoes. The La Belle Femme opening had been insane: wall-to-wall well-dressed women of all ages, each in search of something unique, whether it was an article of clothing or a piece of jewelry. Judging by how fast the inventory moved, money was no object, which was what the company had been banking on in choosing this locale. La Belle’s first day was a triumph.
Early in the day, Dana had been helping an extremely persnickety woman try on a pair of original Art Deco earrings when Suki, La Belle’s manager, tapped her discreetly on the shoulder.
“Some flowers have just been delivered for you. I put them on the sideboard.”
“Thanks.” Dana redirected her attention to the woman. “How are we doing?” She smiled approvingly. “They’re very sexy.”
The customer looked pleased by Dana’s observation as she tilted her head this way and that, admiring herself in the handheld mirror. “You’re right. I’ll take them.”
Delighted, Dana waded through the thick throng of women, escorting her customer to the antique Victorian desk at the back where the cash register was located. Then, as best she could, she wended her way to the ornately carved sideboard where her flowers sat waiting. The bouquet was beautiful, with tall gorgeous pairings of pink, white, and deep blue flowers. Dana recognized the pink flowers as orchids, but the flowering white blossoms and ocean-blue buds were a mystery to her. She knew before even opening the small white envelope nestled among the flowers that Josh had sent it.
She was right. The card inside read: “Congrats on both the store opening and your impending job in Paris. I know you’ll shine wherever you are. Josh.”
A lump formed in Dana’s throat as she pocketed the card. It was such a lovely thing to do. Pure Josh. Her eyes began filling up, but she bli
nked the tears back with determination. She knew she had no right to self-pity. She’d made her decision.
“You look tired.”
Dana looked up into her grandmother’s face. “I know,” she replied, stifling a big yawn. “I’ll sleep well tonight.”
“I’m sorry Molly and I didn’t stay long at the store.” Her grandmother took off her reading glasses and rubbed her eyes. “It was just too crazy for us. Some Amazon stepped on my foot, and when it got so crowded Molly couldn’t see the front door, she started to have a panic attack.”
“It’s okay,” Dana assured her. “You two can go in a few weeks when the hubbub has died down a bit.”
“It won’t be the same without you there.” Her grandmother put her glasses back on, pretending to return to her crossword puzzle. “Did Josh stop by?”
“No. He was working.”
Her grandmother’s eyes casually slid to hers. “You two up to anything tonight?”
“No.”
Her grandmother lowered her gaze. “Did something happen?”
“Not really. I’m going back to New York on Monday.”
Her grandmother sucked her cheeks in with displeasure. “That’s it, then. Poof. No more Josh.”
“That’s a pretty flip way of putting it, but yes, that’s it.”
“No hope of a long-distance relationship?”
“No.”
Her grandmother’s expression was imperious. “May I ask why not?”
Dana matched it with a steely look of her own. “No.”
“I’m your grandmother, Dana. I have wisdom.”
The wisdom line again, Dana thought unhappily, until her grandfather’s voice came into her head, reminding that her grandmother genuinely wanted to help.
“Okay,” said Dana, reversing course. “Hit me with some wisdom.”
Her grandmother glared at her. “Don’t be facetious, Dana Marie.”
“I’m not! I want to hear some of your wisdom.”
“All right,” her grandmother said, still not entirely convinced. “I think you’re being silly not to consider a long-distance relationship with Josh. People do it all the time.”
Dana hesitated, then decided it was time to let her grandmother know the full truth. “I’m moving to Paris, Grandma. La Belle Femme is finally opening up headquarters in Europe. I’ll be the director of retail expansion there. It’s exciting. A new life. I don’t want any complications.”
“Love isn’t a complication.”
“I don’t love Josh. I mean, I love him, but I’m not in love with him.”
Her grandmother frowned. “I don’t believe that for a minute.”
“You can believe what you want to believe, but it’s true.” That’s great, Dana thought, keep those lies coming.
Her grandmother was undeterred. “There are things called airplanes, you know.”
“I know that, Grandma.” Dana’s voice sounded sharp in the otherwise silent room. “But I just told you. I’m not in love with Josh, and I want a fresh start.”
Her grandmother peered at her over the top of her glasses. “Call me senile, but I could have sworn you were bored with your job.”
“I never told you that.”
“Josh told Molly.”
Dana laughed curtly. “Molly must have tortured the details of our conversations out of him.” Dana let down her hair, shaking it out. “Bored is different from tired. I’m tired.”
“I thought you wanted to settle down? Get married?”
“I do. But this kind of career opportunity only comes along once in a lifetime.”
“A man like Josh Green only comes around once in a lifetime, too. Trust me on this.”
“Gran.” Dana slid down the couch toward her and took her hand. “Maybe if the circumstances had been different, Josh and I would be together, but obviously, it wasn’t meant to be. I know you’re sad, and I am, too. But that’s just the way it is.”
Her grandmother shook her head obstinately. “You’re not hearing me.”
“No, you’re not hearing me,” Dana countered, testier than she would have liked, but she couldn’t help it. “And the more you pester me, the more it just makes me want to dig my heels in.”
“You’re worse than your mother. You really are.” Dana used to take this as an insult. Now she saw it as a compliment.
Dana could hear the wheels turning in her grandmother’s head as she sat there, her eyes staring into the middle distance, concocting God knows what.
“Let it go, Gran.”
But her grandmother was unable to help herself. “What if you weren’t going to Paris? Would you have a long-distance relationship with him then?”
“Probably not,” Dana lied. She’d thought about that herself. And then she’d made herself un-think it.
“What if he moved to New York for you?” her grandmother wheedled.
Dana pressed a thumb against her right eyelid, trying to counter the pressure building behind her eye. “He would never do that. And I would never want him to do that.”
Her grandmother shook her head. “You say you want to get married and have a family, but when you find a nice guy, you run away to Paris. Every obstacle you’ve named can be overcome. Every single one.
“You want to know what I’m afraid of? That if you don’t find a husband by the time you’re forty, you’re going to panic and settle.” Her grandmother’s eyes welled up. “And I would hate to see that, doll. You deserve the best. Every woman deserves the best.”
Dana swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. The ineffable sadness in her grandmother’s eyes was hard to look at. She had a sinking feeling her grandmother was giving up on her in some fundamental way. All the more reason to prove her wrong by being a huge success in Paris. But deep in the part of her brain where she stored the truths she didn’t want to deal with, she knew her grandmother was right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“We should leave for the airport soon!”
Dana’s grandfather’s voice was fraught with concern as it rang through the condo. Her flight to New York didn’t leave for three hours. But in typical fretful fashion, he wanted to leave now, having convinced himself they were likely to hit afternoon traffic. Rain had also been forecast, upping the ante even more as her grandfather imagined widespread flooding and hurricane-force winds.
Leaving her grandparents was hitting Dana harder than she’d expected, since she didn’t know when she’d see them again. Rosh Hashanah was a little less than two months away, but it was unlikely she’d be able to take time off from her new job. Maybe she’d get a few days in December, but her grandparents didn’t like to come up to New York in the winter. That left Passover in the spring.
Dana centered herself, determined not to catch her grandfather’s restlessness. She’d been in no mood to go running this morning, even though she knew it would clear her head. Instead, she lay in bed when the alarm went off, reviewing all the things her grandmother had said.
Eventually, the buzz of a lawn mower outside had penetrated her thoughts. Josh. As discreetly as she could, she pulled back the curtains to take a peek. It was Eduardo. Dana was just about to give her e-mail a quick check when her grandmother appeared in the doorway, bearing a medium-sized manila envelope. “This just came for you in the mail. Maybe it’s La Belle Femme and they’ve changed their mind about Paris!”
“You’d be happy if I got bad news?”
Her grandmother looked down at the carpet sheepishly. “No, I just meant ... you wouldn’t be so far away.”
“Grandma.”
Dana tossed the envelope on the bed and put her arms around her grandmother. “It’s not like I’m never going to see you again.”
“I know. But it was so long between visits this last time ... .”
Dana felt a spark of guilt. “That won’t happen again. I promise.”
Her grandmother pulled back to look at her eye-to-eye. “Promise me the next time you see me isn’t when I’m being lowered into the gr
ound.”
Dana rolled her eyes. “I promise you the next time I see you won’t be when you’re being lowered into the ground.” Dana shook her head in admonishment. “Don’t be so morbid, Grandma.”
“I just like to keep my bases covered.”
Her grandmother broke their embrace, craning her neck past Dana to check out the manila envelope on the bed. “That looks business related.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
Dana gently turned her grandmother so she faced the bedroom doorway. “In private.” She pressed her lips to her grandmother’s shoulder, kissing her there gently. “If it’s anything earth-shattering, you’ll be the first to know, I promise.”
Her grandmother harrumphed and left the bedroom, leaving Dana alone with the mystery envelope.
Dana sat down on the edge of the bed, turning it over in her hands, weighing it, trying to guess what it might be. She came up blank, but once again, her intuition told her it was from Josh. Resisting the urge to tear it apart like a child greedy for the money inside a birthday card, she opened the envelope carefully.
She laughed out loud when she saw what the envelope contained: the “Early Bird Special” menu from the Cheesecake Factory. Clipped to it was a note:
Remembering our time together will always make me smile. May all your dreams come true. Josh.
Touched, Dana held on to the menu tightly, her eyes mindlessly skimming the entrées until the words began swimming together, and she realized she was crying.
She tucked the menu at the bottom of her suitcase.
Maybe she should—
Un-think it.
They could—
Un-think it now.
But—
Un-think it now, goddammit!
Head-2, Heart-0. But it was getting harder. Maybe leaving early for the airport wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“Are you sure you don’t want us to wait with you?”
There was an undercurrent of pleading in Dana’s grandmother’s voice as they stood together inside West Palm Beach’s bright, sunny airport. The ride from the condo had proceeded at her grandfather’s customary snail’s pace. As the car inched along, Dana found herself praying he would speed it up. The sooner she was on her own, the better.
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