He smiled, and his face grew pink. “I’m glad we’re together.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Everything will be alright. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it.” Slipping his arm around her waist, he led her through the town.
***
The next morning, the people in the wagon train assembled in a line along the road in the center of town. Amanda wasn’t looking forward to having to be around Joe. She hadn’t left Richard’s side since Joe had asked her to leave with him. As much as she hoped he would leave the matter alone, she knew he wasn’t happy with her decision.
With a glance at Joe, who was getting his horse ready for the day, she stepped closer to Richard and held his hand. She didn’t know if the simple action would convince Joe she cared for Richard or not, but it was all she felt safe to do in front of everyone. And even this much didn’t come easy. She wasn’t very good at expressing her feelings. It was why her parents often said they didn’t know if she liked something or not while she was growing up.
“You keep too much to yourself,” her mother had often said.
And she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. Laura had mentioned how mysterious Amanda was not too long ago. Well, not everyone was an open book, nor did they want to be. Just because she kept her thoughts mostly to herself, it didn’t mean she was incapable of feeling things. She turned her gaze to Richard, who smiled at her. He seemed to be the only person who truly understood her and could accept her as she was.
Joe rode by, counting everyone as he went, and while he passed her, she lowered her gaze so she didn’t have to make eye contact with him. Once he was toward the head of the line, he called out the familiar order to move forward.
To her surprise, Richard kissed her cheek before he went up in the wagon. She brought her hand to the area that tingled with warmth.
The group started going, so she quickly fell into step. For most people, it seemed the extra day spent in town refreshed their spirits, for Amanda noticed a newfound energy in the group. Laura, however, looked unusually tired.
Though it hadn’t been Amanda’s habit to initiate a conversation with her, something compelled her to go over to Laura. Lifting her skirt, Amanda jumped over a rut in the dusty road and went over to her.
“Are you alright?” Amanda asked.
Laura stopped struggling with the knot on her bonnet and looked over at her. “I’m fine. It was just a long night. I was taking care of Jesse’s baby.”
“Does the baby have a name yet?”
“No. Jesse and Mrs. Shaw have been arguing about it. They argue about everything. They couldn’t even agree on whether to let me watch him last night. It’s obvious both were too exhausted to do it. Mrs. Shaw kept falling asleep in the restaurant, and Jesse didn’t look much better.”
“Which one didn’t want you to watch the baby?” Even as Amanda asked the question, she wondered why she was even sticking her nose into something that wasn’t her business. Maybe it was because she wanted to talk to Laura. For some strange reason, she had missed their conversations.
“Mrs. Shaw didn’t want me to watch the baby,” Laura replied. “The only reason I got to was because Joe suggested they would be in better shape to travel if they got a good night’s sleep.”
“How did Joe get involved?”
“Oh, he was outside the hotel when I was talking to Jesse and Mrs. Shaw in the restaurant. I think Mrs. Shaw’s yelling at Jesse brought him inside.” She shrugged as she returned her attention to the knot in the strings of her bonnet. “I don’t think Mrs. Shaw knows how loud she is sometimes.”
“Probably not.” It was hard not to listen when she was yelling at poor Jesse.
“It’s worse now that Elsie’s gone.”
It was. There was no arguing that point.
With a groan, Laura put the bonnet at her side. “I hate knots. I’ve never been good at them.”
“I can help,” Amanda offered, holding her hand out to take it.
Laura accepted the offer, and Amanda used her fingernail to pry it loose. “You make it look easy.”
“I’ve had years of practice.” She gave it back to Laura. “What names are they considering?”
“Mrs. Shaw wants the baby to be a Wyatt or James because her father’s name was Wyatt and her husband was James. Jesse wants Harrison, Elliot, or Randy. I like Elliot the best. Right now, they’re just calling him ‘the baby’. I wish I could do more to help Jesse. Mrs. Shaw makes everything hard for him, and she won’t stop blaming him for Elsie’s death. I feel like I should do more than offer to take care of his son once in a while.”
“You’re doing everything you can, Laura. You shouldn’t feel guilty.”
Laura put the bonnet around her head and tied it. “I know, but I feel so bad for him. It doesn’t sound like Mrs. Shaw will go back East. She’s determined to stay with her grandson. It’d be much easier to watch all this if I knew there would be an end to it.”
“This isn’t your problem,” Amanda reminded her. “What’s been going on between Jesse and Mrs. Shaw was an issue before this trip. You can’t do anything to stop her from giving him a hard time.”
Laura let out a long sigh. “I know. I can’t change anyone. My parents keep telling me the same thing. They aren’t happy I watched the baby last night. They only accepted it because Joe explained the situation to them. I’m twenty, but sometimes I still feel like I’m a child.”
“You’re an only child. I think it’s harder for parents to admit when an only child is an adult. Richard’s parents have so many children they gave him more responsibility than I see them giving the others. My parents said it was easier for them to see my sister leave because they still had me.”
Amanda closed her mouth before she said anything else. Why was she telling Laura all this?
“Was it hard for your parents to let you go when you told them you were going to Omaha?” Laura asked.
“They were already dead.” Before Laura could ask how they died, she added, “My mother died of dysentery. My father joined her a year later, but he passed away in his sleep. Between the two, I would rather go his way.”
“Me, too.” After a moment, Laura said, “Things seem to be going better for you and Richard.”
Wondering why she made such a comment, Amanda asked, “Did we look as if we weren’t getting along?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just,” she shrugged, “well, I don’t know, really. You two always seemed to get along. It seemed more like a brother and sister kind of getting along than a husband and wife getting along. I suppose I assumed you two agreed to marry for convenience. I know a lot of people do it. They marry for reasons other than love. I thought you had one of those marriages. But things are different between you two. You look happy together.”
If Laura thought this, maybe Joe did, too. Maybe her plan was working. She’d wondered if it would, thinking if she made the decision to act like a wife instead of a friend that others would start seeing her and Richard differently. What she needed was for Joe to see it. Then he’d stop trying to talk her into running off with him. Because regardless of how she felt about Richard, she was going to stay with him. And it wasn’t like she didn’t care for him. She did. Holding his hand, giving him kisses, making love to him… These things came easily enough.
“I probably said too much,” Laura said, interrupting her thoughts. “I know you like your privacy. You don’t have to tell me anything about you and Richard.”
“I do like my privacy,” Amanda admitted. “But I will say Richard and I agreed to marry so he could take me to Omaha. There was nothing left for me in New York, and I couldn’t very well travel on this trail alone. We were always friends. Recently, however, things have changed.”
Laura’s grin widened. “I knew it. There was something different. How romantic. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our secret.”
Amanda wasn’t sure whether or not Laura could keep a secret, but she hadn’t told her anything
she wouldn’t mind someone else finding out. The best way to keep a secret was not to tell anyone at all. Only with Richard did she break that rule, but she knew she could trust him. Of all the people she’d ever known, he was the only one she’d trust with her life.
And this was yet another reason why it would never have worked well if she’d said yes to Joe’s proposal. There was something about Richard that made him a better match for her. She could only hope, in time, Joe would accept it and move on with his life. Somewhere, out there, was a woman who was much better suited for him.
Chapter Fifteen
“I need you to help me keep watch tonight.”
Richard looked away from the ox he was unhitching from his wagon, surprised he hadn’t heard Joe come up behind him. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he asked, “Did you ask my pa to do it?” He figured since his father made it a point to bother him about the night watch, the least he could do was volunteer him for the task.
“Your pa’s already helped me a couple of times, as have the other men. Tonight’s your turn.”
“My turn?”
“Yes. Since you and your pa seem to be so concerned about everyone doing their part, it has to be your turn tonight.”
Richard studied Joe’s expression, not sure what to make of it. While Joe seemed nice, there was something beneath the surface that wasn’t quite so pleasant.
“Why is this so important to you?” Richard asked.
“I’m giving you what you wanted. You wanted to take turns, so that’s what we’re doing. Now, it’s your turn.”
“No, this isn’t about taking turns. This is about something else.”
Joe’s jaw clenched then unclenched. “At some point, you have to do your part and help with the night watch. You’re young and more capable of doing it than most of the other men. I won’t let you shirk your responsibility.”
Fortunately, Joe left. Richard watched his retreating figure, reminding himself he did the right thing by not engaging Joe in a fight. Joe was obviously itching for one. No matter how hard he tried, Richard couldn’t figure out why Joe held such animosity toward him. What had he said or done to make Joe want to irritate him?
Don’t think about it, Richard admonished himself. He was only giving Joe power by letting the man upset him. Whatever Joe’s problem was, Joe had to deal with it. It wasn’t Richard’s responsibility to make Joe feel better.
After Richard finished taking care of the oxen, he saw Amanda was at his family’s wagon, helping his mother cook the deer meat over the fire. His father had been proud of the large buck he’d shot earlier that day during one of their breaks and had invited Richard and Amanda to eat with them.
Amanda had agreed, saying she felt guilty for not spending more time with his family when they were in town, but he wouldn’t have traded that time for anything. It was a chance for them to be alone. Maybe she still didn’t love him, but there was no doubt the time had brought them closer together. Feeling much better, he went over to his family, heading specifically for her.
“When we get settled in Omaha, I’ll have you and Richard over for supper,” his mother told Amanda. “Then I can show you how I make cinnamon bread.”
“I’d like to learn how to make it,” Amanda replied as she turned the meat over in the skillet. “It was one of my favorite treats at the picnics we’d go on when my parents were alive.”
His mother offered her a sympathetic smile and hugged her. “I know it’s not the same without them, but I hope you’ll think of me as a mother.”
When his mother released her, Amanda nodded.
Jenny stormed over to them, her apron clutched in her hand. “Joel put a snake in my pocket.” She waved the apron in front of her mother. “I have to sew on a new one because I ripped the old one in order to get the snake out.”
“Oh dear,” her mother said, shaking her head. “Why can’t Joel stop doing things like this? Alright. Let’s talk to him.”
As she followed Jenny over to Joel, Richard chuckled. “Are you sorry you agreed to have our meal over here tonight?”
“No,” Amanda replied.
Noting the worried expression on her face, he asked, “What’s wrong?”
She removed the skillet from the fire and checked to make sure the meat was thoroughly cooked before setting the skillet on a nearby rock. “I don’t think your mother is going to want to teach me how to make any kind of bread once she finds out about the baby,” she said, making sure no one else heard her.
“Sure, she will.”
“She’s going to be upset, and rightfully so.”
“Maybe, but she’ll get over it. The important thing is we’re married. She’ll understand that. You have to give her time.” He paused. “If we tell my parents now, it’ll give them time to get used to it. Then when you give birth, they won’t be upset anymore.”
“I can’t, Richard. I know it’d be better to do it now and get it over with, but I can’t do it.”
“Then I’ll do it.”
She shook her head. “I can’t let you do it. You’ll tell them it was your fault, and all you’ve ever been is a gentleman.”
“We can tell them the truth.”
“No, I can’t. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but knowing it and feeling it are two different things. Maybe I did or said something Mr. Price misinterpreted as an invitation.”
He took her face in his hands and waited until she made eye contact with him before he spoke. “You said no. He should have honored that.”
A tear fell down her cheek, and he kissed it away.
“I don’t want to make things worse for you,” he whispered. “If you don’t want me to tell my parents, I won’t. We’ll do it when you’re ready.”
“Thank you, Richard.”
He brought her into his arms and hugged her, noting the way she leaned into him.
“You two are hugging right in front of everyone?” Joel asked from behind him.
Richard turned around and saw Joel holding the apron and a sewing kit in his hands.
“At least all Tom does is talk about Becky,” Joel added. “He doesn’t go around holding and kissing her.”
Hiding his amusement, Richard shot his brother a pointed look. “Isn’t there a pocket you have to sew on a certain apron?”
“Don’t remind me,” Joel muttered as he left.
Richard’s gaze went back to Amanda. “Are you feeling better?”
She nodded. “I better get back to cooking the rest of the deer meat.”
“I’ll help,” he offered.
“Are you sure?”
“I’d rather be with you than anywhere else, so yes, I’m sure.”
She kissed him. “I like being with you, too.”
As she went to the skillet to put the cooked meat on a plate, Richard felt the weight of someone staring at him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Joe, who was two wagons down from him.
Richard initially wanted to ignore the grim expression on Joe’s face, but sensing a challenge in Joe’s stance, Richard decided to turn and face him. The two stared at each other for a long moment before Joe finally looked away.
What was that about? For the life of him, Richard couldn’t figure out what he’d done or said to upset the man. Whatever the reason, he had a nagging suspicion he’d find out what was bothering Joe soon enough. For the time being, he returned to Amanda, forcing himself to focus on the pleasure of spending time with her.
***
Amanda woke before the others the next morning. She spent a few minutes wrapped in Richard’s arms before the need to visit the outdoor privy overrode her desire to stay with him. After slipping on her dress, she gathered her undergarments. She found a tree and took care of her needs then fully dressed.
On the way back to Richard’s bedroll, Joe called out to her. She didn’t want to stop, but if she didn’t, he might wake Richard up.
With a sigh, she turned toward him. “You can’t keep doing this, Joe,” she whispered.
How was she supposed to answer something like that in a way that wouldn’t upset him? Was she supposed to come out and tell him she thought she’d loved him because she hadn’t known any better? That it took being with Richard to understand her schoolgirl infatuation wouldn’t have lasted?
“What we had is in the past,” she finally said, trying to soften the blow. “I did care for you, but we both know it would never had worked. You enjoy being outdoors and traveling. That’s not the kind of life I want.”
That part was true, though if he’d been there the night she went to his apartment, she would have married him had he asked again. But the marriage wouldn’t have been the best for either one of them. He would have been an escape, and that wouldn’t have been fair to him.
“We don’t belong together, Joe,” she added.
“But you and Richard belong together?” he asked, a bitter edge in his voice.
“Yes, we do.” As painful as everything had been, she’d come to realize it’d brought her to Richard, and that was where she belonged.
“I quit the job at the railroad. I had gotten a job at the factory. I did that for you. But when I went to your sister, she told me you left without telling anyone where you went. So I quit the factory job and took this one.”
“Because deep in your heart, you know you could never be happy working at a factory.”
“I would have if I’d been able to come home to you.”
She didn’t know what to say. He was wrong. He wouldn’t have been happy. Oh, he might have been for a while, but as the years passed, he would have longed for the open land. Sooner or later, he would have resented her for making him work inside all day.
And she, likewise, would have come to realize she’d settled for him because he was a way out of a difficult situation. While she had married Richard initially for that reason, she’d come to care for him. Her feelings for him were still new, having to transition them from friendship to more, but they were there. No doubt, in due time, they would deepen.
Wagon Trail Bride (Pioneer Series Book 1) Page 11