“Dillon.” He nodded. “I was just on my way out.” He lifted the small garbage bag in his hand.
“Sure.” I offered a friendly smile before he continued around us. “Good seeing you,” I called as we entered the elevator and I turned to punch the number nine on the panel.
His steps fumbled, hand shot in the air with a dismissive wave.
“He doesn’t look so good.” Dillon’s hand flexed in mine as the elevator doors closed.
“His garbage was full of empty liquor bottles.” My eyes had caught sight of a Jack Daniel’s label peeking through the stretched plastic, as if the clang of glass hitting glass wasn’t already an indication that Ridge was hitting the bottle, and pretty hard at that.
“I feel bad for him,” she muttered.
“Made his own bed messing around with Mia.”
“Ridge has made a lot of mistakes, but it doesn’t mean he can’t be redeemed,” she said indignantly.
“Right you are, just not sure I have faith in that particular case,” I grumbled.
“You should always have faith.” She winked as the elevator came to a slow stop and the doors slid open.
“Mmm,” I hummed as I stepped out, my hand at her back, my mind on dirtier things. I led her to my door before escorting her into the apartment that was my second home.
It was entirely different from the space I had in Rock Island.
The house I lived in was clean, comfortable, homey. A place to raise kids, a family, have a dog, and a white picket fence.
This was nearly as opposite as possible. Partly because I wasn’t here often, and partly because I liked it stripped of personality.
Bare floors, clean lines, minimal decor. It appealed to me on a simpler level.
“This is…nice.” Dillon turned and took in the white walls that surrounded her. “Great view.” She stepped to the glass and took in the landscape laid out before her. In the distance, sparkling cerulean blue water, boats bobbing in the harbor, with the red brick streets that made up Portland in the foreground.
“Ready.” I jingled my keys in hand and waited for her at the front door.
“What if I want to stay in? See what this little bachelor pad has to offer?” She trailed a fingertip along the back of my couch as she walked to me.
Seductive. Intense. Like a cat on the hunt.
I gritted my teeth together thinking about getting between her legs.
“Later. I’ll give you a thorough welcome later.” My eyes burned with lust. “We have to go or I won’t make good on my promise to show you that whole other side of me.”
“Right.” She licked her lips slowly before she smiled sweetly.
I shook my head with amusement. “Come on.” I smacked her ass and pushed her out the door ahead of me, eyeballing the fullness of her behind the entire way.
“Where are we—shut up!” Dillon stopped dead in her tracks. I looked up from opening the passenger door of my charcoal grey Jaguar F-Type. “This is yours?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“How come–”
“This is just the first of many surprises in store for tonight.” I urged her in by her elbow. She smiled, a look of amusement on her face as I bent and buckled her in. Sniffed at the sweet vanilla and citrus scent that floated around her. Her soap, her shampoo, I wasn’t sure, but that scent was emblazoned in my memory.
“Gonna tell me where we’re going then?” she murmured as I pulled out of the underground parking and took a quick right. “Nope. I like the shock and awe factor.”
We drove to the outskirts of town just on the edge of the warehouse district. Abandoned buildings, overgrown sidewalks, and one very secret place.
“Where the hell are we?” She peered out the window looking for a sign of life.
“You’ll see.” I pulled her into my arms and planted a kiss at the corner of her lips. “You ready?”
“Yep.”
“You sure? What you’re going to see is intense, to say the least.”
“Okaaaaay…” a wary tone replied.
“If you want to leave at any time, tell me and we’re out.” I fidgeted, a hand in my pocket, feet shifting.
Jesus, maybe she wouldn’t like this. Maybe this wouldn’t be her thing.
“You’re worried. What happens if I don’t like it, Slade?”
“You’ll like it. Your pussy will like it.” I grinned and slid two fingertips under her short skirt. I forced myself back to arrogant bravado.
Her jaw tightened, eyes clouded with sex. She was tense. Worried.
So was I.
I guided her to the back door.
Down too-long hallways surrounded in silence and plush carpeting, I finally released the breath I’d been holding when I reached a door and unlocked it with a key card.
She trailed behind me, unsure of what to think.
“Where are we?” Her eyes flicked around the space once I’d hit the light.
“My office.”
“Office for what? What is this?”
I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and gnawed. This was it. All or nothing.
“A sex club.”
“Say that again?”
“It’s called LUST. We specialize in pleasure. Open minds, open relationships.”
“So obviously you’re shitting me, what is this really? A distribution warehouse? I had no idea you had a business down here.”
“Dillon…” I stepped to a dark window and pressed a button. A low hum filled the silence as the blinds raised. Her eyes flicked from me to the window and back again.
When the hum stopped she stepped closer, eyes riveted.
“Told you,” I murmured, suddenly close enough to breathe her in. Feel the energy racing through her veins, the atoms bouncing off her skin.
“Slade…” she said as one palm touched the window.
We looked out over the entire club, high up on the third floor.
Below us, the mezzanine level, where couples sat at tables and couches watching those on the first floor.
The first floor…
Where the good stuff happened.
“You own a fucking sex club.”
“Yes.”
Her mouth popped open in a perfect circle as she watched couples on the floor below in various scenes of play. Implements –whips, crosses, leather horses – and a stage for performances. “There are private rooms down that hallway for people that like to watch or be watched.”
“Is this…legal?”
“Hundred percent. Consenting adults, no one gets paid, these are couples. Investment bankers, lawyers, all here to blow off steam with like-minded people.”
“I can’t even believe that something like this exists in Portland.”
“Boston and New York too.”
“You own clubs in Boston and New York?” She spun to hit me with her gaze. Her honey blonde hair danced through the air. I nodded slowly.
“I need a minute. I can’t even…process this.”
“I’m sorry. We can go if you want.” I pulled her to the couch to sit.
“No, it’s just…you’re freakin’ Slade. We grew up together. I serve you Sam Adams every weekend. Been in your bed, your house, and then all this…” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and averted her eyes.
“Hey…” I pulled her chin to me. “You want to go? Then let’s go. I just wanted to be entirely open with you. I keep this part of my life quiet. Have a feeling Mrs. Barton and everyone else in town wouldn’t understand.”
“No, I guess not.” She turned away.
“Dillon…does this scare you?” I placed a warm palm on her knee.
She sucked in quick breaths and twisted her hands together until the knuckles were white.
“Dillon?”
“I feel like I don’t even know you.” She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Hey…you know the most important things about me. All of them. This is just how I make my money. I’m into some of it, but nothing ha
rdcore. I’m much more into the dirty talk, trying new things. I’ve played here a few times, but it’s mostly just business.”
“It’s not that you own it per se, just…I thought there were no surprises with you, that’s why I felt safe with you.” She finally turned and her beautiful eyes swam with unshed tears.
“Dillon…” I pulled her into my arms and tucked her head in the crook of my shoulder.
I’d never seen her cry. Never seen emotion from Dillon ever. Always so stubborn and strong. Defiantly so.
I rocked her gently and ran a hand down her long hair. The tension finally released as she wrapped her arms around my solid torso to lock behind my back. “I don’t like these kinds of surprises,” she finally admitted.
“Okay. Let’s get out of here.” I pulled her up with me. “Back to my place?”
“Is that okay? You’ve just thrown me for a complete loop…” she wiped at the tears brimming.
“Sounds perfect.” I tucked her hand in mine and gripped tightly as we left the club and walked to my car.
“God, you’re killing me today. First the apartment, the car, and now this. Slade, please tell me there are no more surprises.”
“I think the biggest are out of the way…I hope,” I mumbled the last part under my breath.
“Oh sweet Jesus, what could possibly be next?” That beautiful smile finally turned up her lips. “Afraid to say now.” I ran a palm up her thigh to comfort her.
“I can’t imagine it could top this.” She waved a hand out the car window.
I only frowned as we pulled out of the parking lot and headed to my apartment.
So where did this leave me? With a rock hard dick and a business that the girl I wanted in my life wanted nothing to do with. My intention in taking her to the club hadn’t necessarily been to play, just to show her what I did. Where I made my money. If she wanted to play, well, that would have been a bonus.
But her reaction, tears burning in her eyes in my office, I couldn’t push her now. Looked like it was going to be a kink-free night, but if time was what Dillon needed. I would give it to her.
I sucked in long, fortifying breaths as I twiddled the pen in my hand. The following day and I was seated at my tiny kitchen table, agonizing over how I was going to pay more bills. I fingered the check made out to me, Dillon Young, between agitated fingers before tearing it up into the tiniest pieces I could manage.
I may be desperate, but never would I be bought off.
A faint scratching came from my front door. A smile lit my lips as I welcomed the respite from bill-paying and padded to the fridge to pull out cold leftovers. I stirred the last of the shredded chicken and popped it in the microwave for a few moments.
As the timer went off, I grabbed the bowl and a new one filled with cool water and opened the front door. A small, buff-colored kitten stared up at me, eyes as big as saucers, tail pulsing back and forth eagerly. I patted her on the head and set her dinner down at her feet. She dug in as if she hadn’t been fed in days. I plopped myself in a deck chair and watched the little thing eat.
The neighbors probably hated me for feeding the stray cats in the neighborhood—there were always one or two at any given time—but I adored them. I was the first to admit I was a bleeding heart when it came to animals, but I was also too allergic to take the little mongrels in, but I did what I could to help them get by as I put the word out to find them a good home.
There was an older, black tomcat that had been with me a few years. Beaten and ragged, I’d even gone so far as to take him to the vet to get stitches when he’d been in a fight. I’d tried desperately to find him a home, but he always found his way back to my front porchI sighed as I watched the little kitten eat and hoped I could find a home for her before the cool weather hit.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket, indicating a text. I swiped it open and read the short message.
Did you do it?
Not yet.
You have to do it. If you don’t, I will.
Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.
Don’t let him sweet talk you.
Never. I’ll let you know when something changes.
Love you.
Love you too, B. xo
I silenced my phone and shoved it in my pocket, keen to ignore it the rest of the night. The kitten finished her meal and meowed forlornly at me before weaving between my ankles.
I smiled and placed her in my lap, soft fur comforting beneath my palm.
My mind drifted to last night at LUST with Slade. My thoughts were all in a jumble, confusion taking precedence.
Why did it bother me that he owned a sex club? I was the last person to judge how someone made a living, but then, why had I found myself on the couch crying in his office?
Triggers.
Trust was my biggest issue. I hated surprises because I was afraid.
I’d known Slade as far as back as I could remember. We’d never been especially close, I’d never seen or heard anything to make me not trust him, but I lacked trust by default. A consequence of my childhood, I surmised as I stroked the small animal in my lap.
“What am I going to do, honey?” I purred as the kitten loved up to my hand. “Just avoid men altogether, huh? We’re doing just fine on our own aren’t we?” I smiled as I watched the kitten flop onto her back and roll across the denim of my jeans leaving pale blond tufts in her wake.
“Look at me, the crazy cat lady.” I giggled and ran my fingertips through her fur. “I’m afraid to give him a chance, honey,” I whispered, sadness filtering through the words.
The sweet kitten mewled up at me.
“I mean, a sex club. Who owns a sex club? Who even goes to one?” I said under my breath.
The little kitten meowed again in answer.
I scrunched my face. “You’re a talkative one, aren’t you?” I murmured as I pet her.
The memories of last night consumed me. Dark, ominous hallways. The smell of oiled leather and wood transported me back to the club. I’d only seen it from Slade’s office, and I’d been intrigued, but so embarrassed. I’d never even thought about things like this existing, much less thought to venture into one.
And there was Slade.
Had I missed something? Did he keep whips and chains in his nightstand at home, and in all the times I’d been there, in his bed, I’d never noticed? Slade and I had great sex. Maybe a little rougher than most, but I liked it. Had always liked everything we did. But this?
My mind was boggled.
I knew I was the last to have life figured out, would never presume to judge someone, and I wasn’t. I hadn’t been appalled; yesterday’s tears were the sting of the embarrassment I felt in physical form. The sharp surprise of it all. Slade Thomas had surprised me, flipped everything I thought I knew on its head.
He’d been safe, I’d felt safe.
I’d been with more than my fair share of men, but it’d all been in the name of mutual release, nothing more. I was using them and they were using me. I didn’t have faith that I could have a healthy relationship anyway, but that didn’t mean I would let them think they were getting to the heart of me.
They may have given me an orgasm or two, but they didn’t have me. I refused to give it to them.
And yet at some point in the last few months Slade had weaseled his way into my life. He’d sort of inserted himself and…stuck. I couldn’t figure it out—I did my best to keep him at arm’s length, and yet he remained. It was a surprise, to say the least.
But I found I somehow didn’t mind it. I enjoyed his company. In my mind, that landed us firmly in the “friends who fuck” category. I wasn’t sure what Slade thought he wanted from me, but I did know two things, a) whatever he thought about me–my relationship potential–was wrong, and b) being friends with benefits was more than I’d ever been willing to give anyone else, and that would have to be enough for him.
The small kitten climbed its way up my lightweight sweater and dug her nails in, snagg
ing the yarn and pulling at it.
I smiled and lifted her in my arms, kissed her nose to nose before giving her a playful scratch behind the ears.
A sneeze shook me just as I was thinking I could stay out here all day cuddling with her. I sighed. “Time to get down, honey.” I smiled before placing the kitten at my feet. She walked languidly to the edge of my steps and sat like a proud lioness keeping watch over her kingdom.
My little guard kitty.
A few weeks later and Dillon and I hadn’t talked about Portland. Or LUST. Or anything.
At all.
It was bizarre.
Had me second guessing ever taking her there.
Maybe I’d read her all wrong.
Regardless, I was going along with it. Giving her time. She needed it. I could sense it.
If there was anything I was good at it, it was reading people. I considered myself a highly empathetic guy. I had the ability to read body language, the darks of the eyes, a twitch of the lips, twist of the fingers. All of those things were important tells in my world.
So here I was, sanding down a bench in the front yard and chewing all these things over in my brain.
Wild stopped by earlier and asked me to go fishing. This whole new Wild who goes on boats and gets a sappy look in his eye when his pregnant wife walks in the room was new to me, but Kat had set him straight. Set him right.
I envied him.
I wanted Dillon like I’d never wanted anyone, and part of my mind raged that I’d waited more than long enough. I’d seen her at the bar a few times in the last week, fucked her after work once or twice, but it was as if Portland and LUST had never happened at all.
I didn’t even know what to make of it.
And it was killing me.
I dropped the hammer at my feet and walked straight to my truck, abandoning the bench I’d been in the process of making for Wild, Kat, and the twins.
A few minutes later I pulled into her potholed driveway.
I launched out of the truck, slammed the door in my wake, and sprinted up the steps.
I banged twice before barreling in the house.
Like a bear. Angry.
I didn’t even care how it came across.
I found her at the kitchen table with bills spread out all around her.
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