by Zoey Draven
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning, Erin found Jaxor gone again.
When she stepped from the cave, the base was quiet, almost eerily so. Even the kekevir were silent and Erin found she’d grown used to their noises.
The morning sky was still grey, heavy with a dense fog that shielded the sky from her sight.
“Jaxor?” she called out, hesitantly, her voice echoing around the crater, bouncing off the stone walls.
There was no reply. He’d come back last night—from wherever he’d gone—in a strange mood. Well, in a quiet, broody mood, which wasn’t all that different from how he usually was. He’d had blood on his chest from a fresh wound, but he hadn’t answered her when she asked how he’d received it. She wondered who he met with because she wasn’t foolish enough to believe he’d left to scare off ‘intruders.’
She didn’t know how long she had, but she had another rare opportunity to be alone. Navigating her way off the stones that led up to the cave, she got down to the base floor and wound her way through the tunnel, making sure to avoid any sharp rocks in the floor. On her way, she noticed that the pulley system was down, meaning Jaxor had lowered himself again, probably gone off to forage or check his traps.
The hovercraft was still in its place. Last night, she’d followed Jaxor down the tunnel and watched him start up the engine, though his fingers had been a rapid blur over the silver pad screen as he did. Still, Erin remembered. She just had to be certain she did, needed to practice so she wouldn’t forget. She’d traced the motion he’d made on the rock walls of the cave, trying to imprint it on her mind the night before as she waited for him to return, shivering as she tried not to think of what they’d done in that cave or the strange conversation they’d had over the fire.
She jumped onto the hovercraft after checking the kekevir gate and walked over to the controls.
A part of her still thought this was foolish—trying to learn to pilot an alien hovercraft in an attempt to blindly navigate her way back to the Golden City.
Actually, all parts of her thought this was foolish. But she suspected that Jaxor had met with the Mevirax last night—that him trading her to them was still a possibility.
The thought…stung. She didn’t think it would, but it did. She tried to imagine her friends’ mates exchanging them for something—willingly giving them up—and couldn’t. Lihvan, Beks’ mate, had almost given his life to fight off a dangerous beast to keep her safe. Rixavox had knowingly performed a blood bond with Cecelia when she’d been poisoned, even though losing her would have killed him. Vikan had stolen Taylor from the Golden City, risking his power and position, when he believed she would leave. And Kirov had fought tooth and nail to win Lainey’s heart.
Yet, Jaxor was still in a negotiation with the Mevirax that Erin suspected concerned her.
He hadn’t told them to go fuck themselves. He hadn’t claimed her as his. He’d done everything in his power to keep her at a distance…because he knew he would give her up?
Erin would have to save herself. She wasn’t relying on Jaxor. If Erin ever wanted to see the Golden City again, her home, her family, her friends…then she would have to act.
Sidling up to the control console, her fingertips hovered over the silver pad. Then she traced the pattern she remembered in her mind—a looping swirl that ended with a sharp slash to the right.
It was almost too easy when she heard the gentle whirring of the engine starting up. Her heartbeat sped with adrenaline and she looked over her shoulder, half expecting Jaxor to come barreling down the tunnel at any moment, to drag her from the hovercraft, and lock her away in the cave.
But there was still no sign of him.
She tapped the pad and simultaneously pressed the clear button directly to the left.
The hovercraft rose. She knew it would. She’d seen Jaxor do it the night before. She kept her finger on the button, kept her other finger on the silver pad. And she continued to rise, so unlike the sharp hurtle that Jaxor had performed.
Erin’s heartbeat was in her throat as panic began to rise. She was afraid of heights and the floor of the cave was growing smaller and smaller, the hole in the mountain above her widening and widening.
Then again, a little voice in her head was telling her to go. Fly away. It would be so easy, wouldn’t it? Then she would never see Jaxor again. He would never be able to trade her, her future would be in her own hands.
Just as she reached the mountain’s entrance, just as a chilling wind whipped at her face, stinging her eyes, just as she saw the endless fog that looked like pillows stretched out before her, she remembered last night. Jaxor’s face flashed in her mind, firelight reflecting in his darkened eyes, staring at her like…like he was seeing her for the first time.
She lost her nerve.
Her finger slipped off the button as fright replaced her sudden recklessness. She dropped fast, back inside the mountain, and she barely held back her shriek, diving for the clear block of a button, before the hovercraft’s descent froze in mid-air, only a few feet from the cave floor.
With her blood roaring in her ears, she gently slid her finger down the pad and the hovercraft came to a gentle landing. When she repeated the pattern on the silver pad…the engine died.
Silence deafened her. Almost in a state of disbelief—she’d actually done it—she jumped down from the hovercraft and walked back down the tunnel on trembling knees.
Erin wasn’t so foolish as to not prepare for a long journey. She had nothing but the tunic she’d stolen from Jaxor. She would need rations, clothes, fuel, maybe even weapons.
She went to the fire, one that Jaxor must’ve made before he left that morning. She stoked it, watching the embers glow. Adrenaline was making her giddy and excited, but also focused.
Her crazy plan might work. She just had a few kinks to work out—well, more than a few. And she needed to practice piloting the hovercraft more, even though she dreaded the thought. It made a shiver run down her spine.
Jaxor returned a short while later and her greedy eyes drank him in as if parched. She ignored the relief she felt when she saw him—that was a part of her that she couldn’t turn off even if she tried.
Instead, she cleared her throat—and hopefully the longing with it—and asked, “Where did you go?”
Inwardly, she cringed. She didn’t mean to sound like she was keeping tabs on him, but it certainly came out that way.
His appearance gave her pause. She saw—with that same annoying relief—that the kekevir wound looked like it was healing nicely. He’d taken out her stitches himself sometime yesterday. And the mysterious cut on his pectoral muscle had faded considerably. However, he looked tired. Drawn around the eyes. She wondered if he’d slept at all last night.
“Is something wrong?” she asked softly.
He shook his head, dropping a sack next to the fire, though what it contained remained a mystery. She assumed it was fuel or food or water gourds.
“Nix,” he grunted. “I want to take you somewhere.”
Dread seeped into her. Did this have something to do with whoever he met with last night?
“Where?” she asked slowly.
“There are hot springs,” he informed her. “Not that far, so we can go on foot.”
Whatever she’d expected him to say, it hadn’t been that. Her excitement at the prospect of a hot bath? Undeniable. But she didn’t trust him, despite feeling comfortable with him last night. And his sudden suggestion made her wary.
“I don’t believe you,” she put it simply.
His brow rose.
“I’m not stupid, Jaxor,” Erin said quietly.
“What are you speaking of?” he rasped, frowning. “I never said you were ‘stupid.’”
“I know you met with the Mevirax last night,” she said, watching him carefully. She wasn’t certain, but when his lips pressed together…something in her sunk. “And for some reason they want me. And you’re still talking with them, which leads m
e to assume that you’re willing to give me to them. For something you want, or something they have over you.”
Erin swallowed, looking down at her lap, unable to look him in the eye quite at that moment. Because a part of her was frightened of what she might see if she did.
“If you’re going to give me to them, I can’t stop you. I know that. You’re stronger, faster, and bigger than me. All I ask is that you don’t lie to my face about it. If you’re planning to take me to them right now, then just say it. Don’t give me a lie about some hot springs to try to make me more docile.”
Erin’s mind was racing and her chest was hurting. She was kicking herself. Not that long ago, she was hovering over the mountaintop, staring into the endless sea of fog. She’d had opportunity then. Now, she was at his mercy. Again.
She should’ve been reckless and just gone. Jaxor would’ve come back to an empty base.
“I am not lying to you, Erin,” he murmured, his voice almost…soft. Gentle. It surprised her so much that she looked up at him. He seemed embarrassed at her shock, a muscle around his jaw twitching. As if he wasn’t used to being…kind, as if it was a vulnerability he’d rather not have. “There are hot springs nearby. I wish to take you to them.”
“Why?” she whispered.
Jaxor blew out a breath, running a hand over his horn. He looked so tired. So drained. Erin almost felt bad questioning him so much.
“Because I think you would enjoy them. Because I am tired of this, rixella,” he told her, those blue eyes burning into her.
“Of fighting?” she asked, frowning. “With me?”
“Tev,” he rasped. “Against you. It is not natural, in the position we are in. I am wondering what would happen if we just...give up.”
Her belly fluttered and she pressed her hand to it in surprise, as if it would stop the uncomfortable sensation.
In the position we are in.
That position, of course, being fated mates. They were bound to one another by magic or fate or dreams, or all three.
“Give up,” she repeated softly, wondering what he meant by that, or what it would mean. Her mind raced with possibility. A part of her cautioned that this was a trap.
The other part was intrigued at the prospect, breathless with butterflies.
Erin recalled with dizzying detail—though she’d been half-drunk on Luxirian liquor—the way his mouth felt against hers. Clumsy at first, as if he’d never been kissed before, then taking control with need and efficiency and making her fingers curl into his shoulders. She remembered feeling sympathy and understanding as he talked of his first love, of feeling her heart speed when he asked her if she’d ever been in love.
“I am asking you to trust me,” Jaxor said. “Will you come?”
Jaxor had everything to gain. Erin had everything to lose.
So why was she tempted to do as he asked? To give in? When, just a moment before, she wondered if he was betraying her by leading her into a trap?
Madness.
And maybe Erin was stupid because she found herself saying, “Yes.”
Chapter Nineteen
“This is what’s down here?” Erin asked, gazing around at the strange landscape when they reached the bottom of the pulley system. Outside the short stretch of cave, they were surrounded by tall mountains on all sides.
A white fungus—or perhaps a type of plant—stretched along the base of the mountains. Jaxor led her through a pass. The mountains were so high and there wasn’t a clear view of what lay beyond or above. It was claustrophobic.
There was no life down here. Perhaps that was what made it so eerie. No cries of the kekevir, no chittering little bugs. The whistling wind winding its way through the pass was the only sound. And their footsteps.
Not for the first time, she wondered why Jaxor had chosen this place of all places to settle on Luxiria. Surely there were nicer locations, places not threatened by predatory beasts or plagued by torrential downpours. A place not so…lonely. So empty. So void of life.
Erin watched him from the corner of her eye. For a moment, she was struck with longing. Longing to reach out and touch him without fear. Longing to speak with him openly, as they had last night by the fire—talking about love and memory. Longing to know him.
Do I really have anything to lose by asking him what I want to know? she questioned next.
Not particularly. He could either ignore her or answer her. Or lie to her.
“Do you miss the Golden City?” she decided to ask. She hadn’t seen much of it during her time there, but the glimpses she’d had were beautiful.
“Tev.”
His answer surprised her. She hadn’t truly expected him to answer. But he’d been different that day. Different since last night. Erin would give anything for a glimpse inside his head.
“Do you think you’ll ever go back?”
“Not now,” he said, helping her over a boulder that blocked their path, his hand lingering on her waist after he pulled her over. Erin looked up at him, found his eyes on hers. “I can never go back now.”
“Because you took us?” Erin asked. “Would you get…punished?”
Jaxor let go of her waist and walked on, continuing down the pass. “Tev.”
Erin’s gaze went to the injury he’d come back with last night. He was still bare-chested, despite the cold. He’d wrapped a blanket around her shoulders before they departed the base, but the cold still wound up her legs. His only protection was his thick hide pants and the travel sack he’d filled with furs, soap granules, and spare clothes.
The mark on his chest was healing, but she could still make out the swirling lines in the flesh.
“What is that?” she asked, risking the question.
“The mark of Oxandri, one of the Fates. The Fate of Sacrifice.”
Erin’s lips parted. She stopped walking, making him pause and face her, and she asked, “Why are you answering all my questions now?”
The Fate of Sacrifice?
Why had he marked it on himself?
“I already told you,” he rasped, his brows furrowing. Erin blinked, her eyes straying to his lips. A tendril of his freshly cut hair blew over his forehead and Erin ached just looking at him. “I am tired of fighting.”
“So what does this mean?” she asked quietly, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. Her feet were freezing cold—her tender, healing cut stinging—but she didn’t move. She was rooted in that place, held frozen by his gaze.
“I…” he trailed off. His hand ran over one of his horns, the blue tattoos adorning his arms gleaming in the low light. Not for the first time, she wondered what the markings meant. “I do not know.”
The torment in his voice made her breath hitch. So, Jaxor had been conflicted. About the trade?
Tentative hope began to rise, speeding her heart.
Was it possible he would return her to the Golden City? Was it possible she wouldn’t have to risk her life trying to make it back there by herself?
Slowly, as if approaching a wild, untamed beast, she stepped towards him. His eyes flickered, his back straightening at her nearness. Did he even realize the things he did unconsciously when she was near?
Then again, maybe she did unconscious things when he was near, things she didn’t even realize.
Reaching out, she traced the mark of Oxandri on his pectoral. The flesh was healing, but the wound might be deep enough to scar. His skin was warm and velvety smooth. Then her fingers went to his shoulder, where the tattoo started, and she traced part of it.
Jaxor held still and though Erin’s eyes were on the mark, she felt his gaze like a touch.
Finally, she let her hand drop. When she craned her head to look back at him, she remembered the night they’d kissed—the night they’d done a lot more than kiss—and she felt a shiver of anticipation run down her spine.
She stepped back and faced the pass again. Jaxor stood still a moment more before she sensed him moving again, leading her down between the mo
untains, cutting through a slim, jagged alleyway.
They were quiet the whole way. Erin guessed they walked another ten minutes, going over rocks and boulders, and navigating the maze of the mountains. Erin wondered how long it had taken him to learn it. She wondered if he’d ever been lost.
Finally, they reached another cave entrance, though it seemed to lead down, not through.
Erin was a little nervous as she watched Jaxor jumped down through the hole first. But the drop was short and she could still see the tops of his horns in the darkness.
He held out his arms for her and she slid down inside. He caught her easily, his arms wrapping around the backs of her thighs before letting her slide down his front. Her tunic rode up on the way down, their eyes locked because he knew it too, and Erin’s brain felt a little muddled afterwards.
From the entrance, the hot springs weren’t far. The ceiling was low, however, and Jaxor had to crouch, though Erin could stand. From his travel sack, he drew a lantern and lit it easily. Warm, golden light illuminated the cave and just feet away, there was a pool with steam curling from its surface. It wasn’t as large as the bathing pools in the Golden City, but it looked deep.
For a moment, an image of an alien creature swimming up and snagging her down to the depths made her swallow.
“There’s nothing in there, right?” she asked quietly. The surface was black and inky, but it was nice and warm inside the cave. Humid. Her cold feet were already beginning to thaw on the warm floor and the healing cut on her sole gave a small throb in response.
“Nix,” he said. But he tilted his head to her and asked, “Would you like me to check?”
“I have a fear of sharks,” she informed him, which seemed ridiculous to say out loud, on an alien planet, after everything she’d experienced. “And heights,” she added.
He paused. “Sharks?”
“They’re a type of creature on Earth,” she explained. “In the ocean. On occasion, they attack people in the water.”