by D. Kelly
Jess pauses the movie and walks over with Hailey, but she’s a little shy and runs into my lap. I love the identical look of shock on all three of their faces. I stand up and walk over to them with Hailey in my arms.
“Hailey Mae, meet your Uncle Connor, your Uncle Jake, and your Auntie April.”
They all instantly look from my eyes to hers and nod up and down. Under any other circumstance it would be hilarious.
“Hi!” she says and wiggles down. “Auntie Jess, Frozen again?” and Jess takes her right back to finish watching the movie.
“Holy Hell, who would have ever known you’d be cute as a girl?” Connor says and Jake slaps him.
“Such a fucking moron. Congratulations, man, I think?”
“Seriously?” April asks him. “Who’s the moron now?” She kisses me on the cheek. “Congratulations, Mike. She’s adorable but I’d love to hear the story behind it.”
Once again the movie is paused and Hailey tugs on my shirt. “Daddy, milk please?” She goes to the diaper bag and pulls out Bob and her sippy cup.
“I’ll get it, Mike” Kate says and walks her to the refrigerator. Once she has her milk, she takes her cup and Bob and goes right back to Jess’s lap.
Connor passes out the beer, and for the first time ever, I question myself if I should have one.
“One won’t kill you, Mike,” Kate says, sensing my inner conflict so I take one, too.
Jess raises her hand and waves me over. Hailey is asleep on her lap. Carefully, I lift her up and lay her down on the far end of the couch and cover her up. This is the first time I’ll ever kiss my little girl goodnight, but it’s not going to be the last. After kissing Hailey, I help Jess up off the floor and she gives me a big hug.
“I don’t care what Misty thinks, this little girl is my new best friend.”
Misty better watch out because Jess isn’t joking. We need to get this resolved quickly.
“Alright, so what happened today from when you guys left the house with your freshly fucked glows until now?”
That’s a fair starting point. I backtrack a bit and tell them how Misty had a secret and Kate had picked up on it. They all agreed she was definitely off last night. So I catch them up on what I said at the hospital.
“Oh, Mike,” Kate sighs, shaking her head. “No wonder she freaked out. I mean, you couldn’t know about Hailey, but by offering to help her, she probably internalized it as her being a bad mom. She couldn’t explain that to you, though, so she lashed out instead.”
I never even thought about that, but then again, I haven’t really thought about our argument at all since meeting Hailey. So I continue telling them about the beach and going back to the diner to be nice and what I found when I got there.
“So you knocked her up the night of the graduation party. Did the condom break?” Connor asks and I shrug because I honestly have no idea.
“That makes her…” Jess is ticking off months in her head.
“She turned two on Valentine’s Day,” I say proudly.
“Oh I love she was born on a day created for love,” April says, and of course, Jess and Kate agree whole heartedly.
“Alright, so right now Misty is at the hospital alone while her grandma is in ICU?” Kate asks, concerned.
“Yeah, I guess so. She doesn’t have any other family other than Hailey and her grandma.”
She jumps up, kisses me on the cheek and Daniel on the lips, and grabs her purse. “I’m going to the hospital. She shouldn’t be alone.”
Oh hell, I’m not sure if that is going to make things better or worse. “Kate, maybe you shouldn’t.”
She shrugs. “Maybe not, but I’m going anyway. See you guys in a bit.”
“Your woman is something else.”
Daniel laughs. “Maybe, but I wouldn’t have her any other way.”
“Alright so what are you going to do now? It’s obvious you and Misty need to have a serious heart to heart.” Lucas starts to wake up and April bounces him back to sleep like a pro while waiting for my answer. Poor Jake. The look in his eyes right now as he watches her, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if her birth control and the condoms got lost on the honeymoon.
“I’m fucking pissed and I don’t know how to talk to her without saying things that can’t be taken back. But then again, why should I even care if I can’t, she did this, not me.” The room gets so silent you can hear a pin drop. “What? Come on just say it.” They all have something they’d obviously like to get off their chests.
“Look, Mike,” Daniel starts looking around for support, “I’m not condoning what she did because if she wanted to she could have easily found you. It’s not like she didn’t know where you lived.”
“Exactly!” Maybe they are on my side.
“But,” Connor cuts in, “Dude, you totally blew her off. Which is cool with random hook ups that try and lurk later, but she was your friend. Like your best friend you had made of the opposite sex since you left home. I’m sure she was pissed off at you, at herself for being stupid because she knew you were a manwhore, and probably figured you’d tell her to get an abortion.”
“I’d never…”
“But she didn’t know that, did she, Mike?” Jess asks, but she’s not taking sides, more like stating the obvious.
“No, she probably couldn’t have. But that still doesn’t excuse what she did.”
Jake snorts and I know I’m about to get it from him. “Can we all be honest for just a fucking second here? Look, Mike, I’m not trying to be a dick here, but come on. We all kind of expected this to happen sooner or later. You were with at least three girls a week for over three years and that's being conservative in the numbers.” Jess gasps and I shrug sheepishly. “That's over five hundred girls, again on the conservative side here. Not every condom is effective and not every girl is on the pill as back up. What surprises me the most is you were lucky enough that it only happened once and it was with a girl you’re head over heels in love with now.”
Fuck him for being sensible while I’m pissed off like a motherfucker.
“Mike,” April says sweetly, “this royally sucks, we all agree with that. But if Misty had come to you then, with how deep in love you still were with Kate, would it have changed your outlook on things? Be honest because there’s no wrong answer here. Would you have let Kate go and embraced Misty and the baby? Would it have pushed you back to Kate sooner or would it have made you feel like you could never go back?”
Well hell. Well played, social worker. Well played.
They’re all looking at me, waiting for my reply. “I would have accepted the baby but not Misty. And I would have never even tried to make amends with Kate. And because I would have felt like I lost Kate because of Misty I most likely would hate my little girl’s mom, and I would’ve never been able to forgive her.”
Fuck.
“Mike,” Now’s it’s Connor’s turn. Do I get wisdom or sarcasm? “I know it’s cliché, but everything happens for a reason. You and Misty need to work past this. We’ve watched you waste over three years denying your feelings for Kate and in that time you managed to push your feelings for Misty away, too. You’re going to want to see Hailey as much as possible and that means seeing Misty. Do you really want to spend another four years being in love and angry only to realize you want her in your life after all?”
Jess hugs Connor and crawls into his lap.
“I missed two years of her life. How do I forgive her for that?”
“Well, for starters, you take it from the man who recently realized that being unforgiving still doesn’t change the past and that I’m a much better person with her than I am without her. And then you think to yourself that you weren’t the best version of you back then and you might not have been the best dad you could’ve been because of it. Hailey would have picked up on all that anger and resentment and that wouldn’t have been good for her. Last but not least, you make a vow never to miss another day, because you can’t change the past… but you c
an pave the road to the future with good intentions.”
I bust out laughing because that’s something Rick always says and we’ve all been told a time or two about our future and good intentions. I’m not sure I ever thought I’d hear Daniel quote his dad, but at least they’re laughing with me and not at me.
“You guys made some really good points. I hear you loud and clear. Misty didn’t do this alone, I was an ass who wasn’t ready.”
“Exactly,” Jake says and then looks down at Hailey. “Besides, that little girl is happy and seems pretty well adjusted. Not to mention cute as all hell. Misty is a single mom, going to school, and working a part time job. Give credit where it’s due, man, she’s doing one hell of a job.”
She’s doing an amazing job.
Kate
I hate hospitals, especially this one. We lost Grant and Vanessa here. But it doesn’t matter how much I hate them, no one should be here alone. On the way over, I stopped by Starbucks and got two lattes with sugar on the side. I really don’t know anything about Misty but Mike did make a comment one day about how much milk she puts in her coffee so I figured a latte would work.
In any case, Misty is family now and family sticks together. She’s got to be worried and bored, or just completely stressed out. You can only visit in the ICU ten to twenty minutes every hour and the rest of the time is just a waiting game. As I set down the coffee and my purse, Misty comes out. Looks like I have great timing.
She’s been crying and I pull her into a hug. At first she resists because I’m sure she probably doesn’t like me very much being Mike’s ex and the reason she lost out on him all those years ago, but we’re going to fix that. Finally, she gives into the hug and let’s go. This poor girl. I seriously don’t know how she’s done this alone for so long. When she pulls back, I pass her the tissues and take a seat. After she wipes her face and blows her nose, I pass her the coffee I brought her, and the sugar.
“It’s a latte, no sugar because I wasn’t sure.”
“Thanks,” she says and sets the sugar down, drinking it just as it is. “Kate, why are you here?” Her words aren’t unkind, just direct. I’ve been Jess’s best friend for over twenty years, direct I can handle.
“I’m here because Mike loves you, because you are my niece’s mother, because you’re family now, and most of all because I’m sure you could use a shoulder to cry on right now.”
“How’s Hailey doing?” she asks, sniffling.
“She’s fine. She and Jess bonded over Frozen and popcorn and M&Ms and then she grabbed Bob and some milk and fell asleep in her lap watching the movie.”
“Good.” She exhales loudly. “How’s Mike? Does he hate me?”
I reach across and grab her hand. “I’ve known Mike since we were seven years old. He’s the maddest I have ever seen him but he’s keeping it under control so Hailey doesn’t see it.” She starts crying again and I squeeze her hand to get her attention. “I’m not telling you that to hurt you. I’m telling you that because Mike is a love it or leave it kind of guy. If he wasn’t head over heels in love with you, he wouldn’t be this angry. He’d just brush it off. Give him time and a little bit of space and I promise you everything will work out.”
“Really?” she asks hopefully.
“Really,” I reply honestly. “Now, I don’t want to pry, but would you want to tell me what’s going on with your grandma? I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a psychology major and I’m going to specialize in children’s grief counseling. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life and have gone through a lot of therapy. I figured I could somehow give back.” I don’t know why I just told her all of that, but she really doesn’t know me from Adam, so it can’t hurt.
“You know, I think I’ve had the wrong impression of you this whole time. I blamed you for a long time as the reason I lost Mike. I understand now he was just all kinds of messed up back then but I didn’t know that. I just knew he liked to sleep around and was hung up on his ex.”
I laugh and it feels good. “I knew you didn’t like me and I figured that was the reason. Mike and I have a complicated history. We spent pretty much every single day together for twelve years. He knows me in a way nobody else does and nobody else ever will and I know him in that same way.” Her expression changes to a frustrated one. “I’m not telling you that to hurt you, I’m telling you that because he is my very best friend and I won’t let anything come between us ever again. And I also won’t let anyone hurt him. I’ll protect him like I would protect my own child. Our relationship is unconventional and it takes some getting used to. But I’m not a threat to you, Misty, I’m an ally. You make Mike happier than I’ve ever seen him and he loves you in a way he didn’t love me.”
I pause and take a sip of my coffee. When she doesn’t speak, I continue, “When I met Daniel, we had this spark, this connection I’d never experienced in all my years with Mike. I knew that even if I had been with Mike, as happy and as in love as we were, if I had met Daniel I would have left Mike for him.” Her mouth drops and I fully understand the feeling. “Yeah, that realization shocked me, too. I wasn’t able to explain it to Mike until just this afternoon. When you broke up with him, he told me how he felt about you. Although he didn’t equivolate it to sparks, he just said he felt something. We talked about it and he agreed it’s the same for him and how he feels about you. Mike will always be my very best friend, so I really hope you can learn to love me, too. Besides, Hailey Mae is my daughter’s sister and when I saw her tonight it was like a piece of Lila Hope was still walking around. She has her daddy’s eyes and I always knew Lila Hope would have them, too.”
Now I’m crying and she changes the subject quickly. “Breast cancer, metastasized to both lungs, and her brain. Inoperable, and as of tonight, officially a DNR. It’s just a matter of minutes or hours. She fought valiantly, and was doing home hospice, but then her lungs filled with fluid and the neighbor was visiting with her and called an ambulance. They drained the fluid before they knew she was on hospice but she felt so much better she agreed to keep getting treatment and to stay here. My mom was a young mom, she had me when she was sixteen, and my grandma had her when she was eighteen.”
The gasp leaves my lips before I can hold it back. “She’s only fifty seven,” I say, stating the obvious.
“Yup, she’s way too young for all of this. She’s been my rock, you know? When Mike never talked to me again, she instantly hated him. Told me I was too good for a loser like him and then she helped me with the stipulation that I never reach out to him. She said if he wanted to see me he’d come to me. And he did, by chance, but he kept coming back. She was so sick I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t want to make her angry and for her to get worse. So I left things alone and got to know the real Mike. I knew it was going to bite me in the ass, but until I could figure out where we stood, my loyalty was to her. It killed me not telling him but every day I prepared Hailey for it. I wanted her to be excited that she has a dad like other kids.
“I finally told her tonight when I got here. I wasn’t really sure if she understood me or not. Sometimes she’s lucid and others not so much. But the biggest smile crossed her face and she told me ‘I can go home to God now, sweet pea, because I know you and Hailey are in great hands’ So I got the doctor since she was lucid and we put the DNR back in place.”
“Misty, I’m so sorry.” She’s been through so much. “Is your mom coming?”
“No, she died years ago. I didn’t know her, anyway. She took off not long after I was born so it was always just me and my gram.”
No wonder she never went and found Mike.
“Well, you’ve got us now and Hailey has the whole crew wrapped around her finger already.”
She picks at the sleeve on her coffee. “They must all think I’m a real piece of work.”
“I think you’d be surprised. I have a feeling Mike was getting ready to get a good ass reaming when I left. We all love Mike but he’s made some really bad decisio
ns the past few years.”
“Including leaving you?” Her hand flies to her mouth and I laugh.
“Especially leaving me, but it was the best thing he could have done in the long run. When he left me, he finally found himself. That’s something he needed to do more than anything else.”
“Ms. Lowe, you can go back in now. Her vitals are dropping so it won’t be much longer. You can stay as long as you want.”
“Go on. I’ll wait here. I brought my kindle and I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Thanks, Kate, for everything.”
After texting Daniel back and forth for a bit about what’s going on here, I have a better understanding of what went on there, too. I’m glad they all ganged up on Mike; it’s the only way he would ever really open his eyes.
It’s late, or rather early, when Misty comes back out of the room. Her grandma passed a little while ago and she took her time saying goodbye. Although she’s calmed down a bit since it first happened, her tears are still coming and I know they will for a long time. After she signs all the paperwork and collects her belongings, I drive her back to my house.
It’s three am and I know from Daniel’s text messages everyone went home except Mike. They’re on the couch talking when we walk in. Misty looks over and sees Hailey all snuggled up on the couch and relaxes a little. The bed is pulled out and all made up for them to stay the night, and when Mike pulls Misty into his arms Daniel and I take that as a sign and go up to bed.
“I’m so proud of Mike,” I tell him when we’re snuggled together under the covers.
“Why?”
“Because of all the things he could have said or done to tear Misty down even more when she is already at her lowest point, he didn’t. He showed her how much he cares about her instead.”
“Good point, but he’s still angry. I think we helped him through the worst of it but I’m not sure how quickly he’ll forgive her.” He pulls me close and nuzzles my neck.
“Well, hopefully not as long as it took you. I’d hate for him to lose even more time than he’s already lost.”