by Karen Gordon
Ignoring her husband’s silent contempt, Lana continued to gossip to no one, “I guess they’ll have to sell the house. Sissy’s never worked a day in her life. She has no way to support herself, and you know Don will try to weasel out of alimony.”
Carrie felt a lump of fear in the pit of her stomach for Ben. Lose his house? Where would he live? Carrie couldn’t eat another bite. She picked up her plate and walked to the sink to wash her dinner down the garbage disposal, but her mom snapped out of her scandal stupor just in time to stop her. “Is there something wrong with the food?”
“No. I …” Carrie struggled for an answer that would satisfy her mother. “I think the paint fumes made me a little sick.”
“You didn’t open a window and turn on a fan? See, I can’t even trust you to paint your own room. I can’t do it. I thought I could trust you to do it. The doctor said I can’t be around paint fumes. Now that I’m pregnant, you are going to have to be more helpful. Do you understand that? Carrie? Are you listening to me, Carrie?”
Carrie was saved from replying by her dad. Earl had listened to enough of Lana for one meal. He stood up and pushed his chair back with a noisy scrape across her new wood floors, announcing his departure. The sound of the TV turning on and him increasing the volume on Jeopardy let Carrie and Lana know he would be in the ironically-named family room for the rest of the night.
Lana swallowed hard several times and wouldn’t look at Carrie. Oh, god, not again. Lana rushed from the room, Carrie could barely make out her mother’s sobs once she shut the bedroom door.
The dirty pots and pans used to make the uneaten dinner were still on the stove. Carrie considered ignoring them, but the tongue lashing she would get in the morning would be much worse than the irritation of cleaning them up tonight. She rinsed each one in hot water, but couldn’t remember for sure if one of them was from the new set that couldn’t go in the dishwasher. Knowing it was better to err on the side of caution, she set it aside, rinsed the rest of the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, then searched under the sink for liquid dish soap. She couldn’t find any. Do I put it in the dishwasher and get yelled at if that’s wrong or do I not wash it and get yelled at for that? In the end she decided to rinse it out with really hot water and hope her mom couldn’t find any flecks of food in it tomorrow. As she waited for the water to run hot again, she stared out the window at the Gorman’s driveway and wondered what Ben and his mom were doing right now. She checked the window over the garage, but there was no light on. She wasn’t sure what she would say to him, but she wanted to say something or do something for Ben. Chapter 6
Almost two weeks passed before Carrie saw Ben again. It was another hot, muggy Saturday morning. Carrie was waiting at the end of her driveway for MG and her mom to pick her up for a trip to the mall. Amber was having another party tonight, and she had promised MG and Carrie a trip to the mall to shop for clothes and an afternoon movie. Only MG and her mom would be shopping for new clothes. They kept offering to get something for Carrie (on Vin’s credit card), but she was content to just borrow cool clothes from MG. That way she could return them, and she wouldn’t have to try and hide them from her mom.
Right now Carrie was wearing her mother-approved long khaki shorts and pink polo shirt, her one shred of good taste being her new black Chuck Taylors. She had helped Mrs. Wane clean house every week for a month to earn the money for them. Her mother hated them, which just made them that much better. They looked stupid with the outfit she was wearing, and sweating in right now, but they would look great with the torn jean shorts and black cami MG was bringing. Carrie shifted her heavy purse from her right to her left shoulder. Three thick smut novels borrowed from Amber’s collection sat like bricks in the bottom along with all her contraband make-up.
She was getting a headache from standing in the sun, squinting toward the entrance to the cul de sac when she heard the Gorman’s garage door go up. Ben was pushing a huge cardboard box full of junk across the garage floor. He didn’t notice Carrie till he emerged from the darkness of the garage and into the blinding morning sun. He glanced briefly at her, then resumed pushing the ungainly box toward the curb where she was standing.
Carrie waited till he reached the curb, and the scraping noise stopped before she gave him an awkward wave and said, “Hey.” Ben raised his hand in reply and gave her a quick “Hey” before turning to go back in his house.
“What are ya doin’ today?” Ben turned back around as if he was unsure Carrie was talking to him. “Nothing, just helping my mom clean some stuff out of the basement.”
“Oh,” Carrie looked at the box of junk. If she had to guess, this was probably Ben’s dad’s stuff. On top of the pile she could see some BMW car mats and a few golf clubs stuck out of the side. Ben followed her gaze, sighed, shook his head in frustration, and turned toward his house again.
“Wanna go to a party tonight?” Carrie said it before she thought it through. She wasn’t even sure it would be OK with MG or her mom, but the defeated look on Ben’s face made her determined to make it work. “Look, my new friend, Mary Grace, well everyone calls her MG, her mom is having a party. It’s like really for adults, but she said we could come too. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you came with me. She’s really nice and they have a pool and a big TV room upstairs, and she just got a new Nintendo system …”
That got Ben’s attention. He loved video games. Whenever he and Carrie had spent time together for the past few years, they had either worked on one of her decorating projects or sat on the old plaid couch in his basement, playing games on his Nintendo.
“Which Nintendo is it?”
Carrie rolled her eyes, seriously, does it matter? It’s a party, goof. “I don’t know. Come with me and see.”
“I’d have to ask my mom.”
Carrie nodded, a little excited that she might be able to cheer him up.
“And I couldn’t be out very late.” Carrie nodded again and kept smiling at Ben, but she cringed inside. NO! That would mean she would have to walk home with Ben, and she couldn’t spend the night like she had planned. She comforted herself with the fact that Amber was planning to have more parties this summer, and she could spend the night the next time.
A flash of sunlight, reflecting off Amber’s shiny new Jag as it turned into the cul de sac, caught Carrie’s attention. Carrie grabbed the rear door handle when it pulled up to the curb, but she called out to a retreating Ben, “I’ll call you when I get home this afternoon.” He turned and waved his confirmation before disappearing into the dark shade of his garage.
♥ ♪ ♥ MG wasn’t happy that Carrie invited Ben even though her mom was totally cool with it. So Carrie made up a lie that she couldn’t spend the night, and she had to walk to the party, and the only way her parents would let her walk through the woods at night was if Ben came with her. It was partially true, at least the part about the woods. Carrie hated the small forest that bordered the park and connected her house to MG’s. If she was going to walk through them, especially after dark, she wanted Ben with her.
At 5:30, their agreed meeting time, Carrie rushed out of her back door, stopping to shut it quietly before jogging through her back yard, past Ben.
He set his basketball down in the grass and ran to catch up with her, “Hey, wait up,” he yelled. Carrie turned around a shushed him, then kept jogging toward the creek and the little cabin. When she reached it, she curled into a ball and crawled through the little door into the only room.
“What are you doing?” Carrie shushed him again, and signaled for him to get down by pushing her hand down. Ben sat down on the front porch. She signaled him to turn around and face the creek. He did, but not before giving her a look that let her know he was not happy about it. She pulled off her bright yellow tee, elbows bumping into the ceiling in the small space, and quickly replaced it with the black Nirvana tee she borrowed from MG. She looked down at her chest and wished she had a cuter bra, not that anyone would see it, but MG teased her
about wearing “mama bras.” The problem was she had gone from nothing to almost her mom’s size overnight. She was already too big to wear cute little lacy bras like MG, so she was reduced to wearing hand-me-down bras that were now too small for her pregnant mom.
Ben could hear her scooting around on the rough wooden floor. “What are you doing?” “Changing clothes, don’t look.” Carrie slid her shorts off then struggled to extend her legs enough to pull on a pair of ripped jeans. After hiding her “nice” clothes under the little table, she wiggled back through the little door then sat next to Ben on the porch to put her Chucks back on.
He studied her, “You looked better before.” Carrie sighed and rolled her eyes. As much as she wanted to cheer Ben up, she was already questioning the idea of inviting him. He wasn’t always easy to get along with. She stood up and grabbed the rope swing to propel herself across the creek, then threw it back to Ben. He ignored the rope and hurled his short legs across the water, landing solidly on the other side. He smiled at Carrie, clearly proud of his prowess. She smiled back before starting down the path that led into the woods.
♥ ♪ ♥ MG’s backyard was almost empty when they got there at 5:45, and Carrie was a little disappointed. She had promised Ben they would walk back home before it got dark, so that only gave her about three hours.
Her fashion twin, MG, ran from the house and across the back yard to grab Carrie’s hands. “Oh, my, god,” she squealed, “this is going to be sooo fun. Blake is going to be here,” she jumped up and down, holding Carrie’s hands, “and bringing some friends!”
“Who’s Blake?” Ben made is presence known. MG turned and looked at him like he was a moron for not knowing. “He’s my stepbrother,” she replied
condescendingly.
Ben’s shrug and flat, “Oh,” showed his lack of interest in this person. Technically, Blake wasn’t related to MG at all. He was the son of Amber’s second husband, who she divorced two years earlier. They had only been married for five years, but MG had developed a massive school girl crush on her five-yearolder “brother.” Carrie had never met him, and had only seen one blurry picture, but MG hero worshiped everything Blake did. The girls had matching Nirvana tee shirts because it was Blake’s favorite band. MG planned to go to college at UMSL, because that’s where Blake was going this fall. It had been months since MG had seen him, so Carrie knew tonight was both super exciting and super important to MG.
MG focused her attention exclusively on Carrie, “He’s bringing some of his friends!” MG waited for Carrie to have the appropriate over-the-top response. Carrie gave her a big smile and said, “Great!” but she was worried about Ben and MG getting along, and it was killing her fun.
She shouldn’t have worried, because Ben was in heaven playing Indiana Jones on the new Nintendo system in MG’s room. Carrie and MG lay on her bed, reading the pages with bent corners in one of MG’s mom’s romance novels, and giggling loudly. MG pointed to a paragraph and with raisedeyebrows, silently told Carrie this is a hot one. Carrie read: Rod Strathmore caressed her breasts and she almost fainted with pleasure. His hand traveled to her most secret place and she cried out. Carrie hated it that the book didn’t give any better details, because she still wasn’t completely sure where Lady Annabella’s most secret place was. And if it’s so secret how did Captain Rod find it? He’s a guy! Despite Ben’s loud presence, the book was still making her feel all tingly, and she wished he wasn’t sitting across the room. She felt like he could look over and see her thoughts, and that she was feeling something in her stomach, and in what was possibly her most secret place.
A pair of deep male voices coming down the hallway toward MG’s room interrupted their reading. MG stashed the book under her pillow, and the girls fell into a fit of giggles at their secret.
“MG, what’s up?” Blake and some other guy shuffled into the room. MG hopped off the bed, and Carrie jumped up and stood behind her. So this was Blake. Maybe MG had gone overboard describing him, because Carrie was expecting someone who looked a lot more like the guys on steamy book covers and a lot less like just any guy. He was tall and kind of skinny, or at least his jeans were really baggy and his wrinkled Bob Marley shirt hung past his hips. He had light brown hair with long bangs that curled into his brown eyes, and the faint hint of a mustache and goatee.
“Carrie and I were just, umm, reading,” a giggly MG blushed. Blake moved in extremely close to MG and backed her toward her bed. The way he said, “Uh, huh, reading what?” said that he knew they were reading something dirty. Carrie felt the heat of her blush from her possibly most secret place all the way to her cheeks. Blake reached behind MG to grab the book from under her pillow. MG threw herself on his arm. He grabbed her on her side, very close to her boob, and started to tickle her.
Carrie glanced up at the other guy leaning against the door jamb. He didn’t seem to be uncomfortable with MG and her sort-of stepbrother wrestling. Blake tickled her ‘til she fell on the floor, then stopped before he spilled his beer. He stood up and nodded to the guy at the door. “Chuck, this is my stepsister, MG.” It wasn’t what he said, but the knowing smile between the guys that caught Carrie’s attention. MG was oblivious as she got up off the floor, pulled her shirt back down, and motioned to Carrie. “This is Carrie.” When both guys turned their attention to her, Carrie shrank back till she ran into Ben, sitting in MG’s beanbag chair, lost in his game.
“This, uh, this is Ben,” she stammered. He turned briefly to look, then went back to his game. Blake and Chuck ignored him. Blake’s attention was on Carrie, or more accurately, Carrie’s Nirvana shirt, and what was underneath. His line of sight was clear as he stalked toward her. “So, this is Carrie.” His smile and nod said he had heard something about her, and she wasn’t sure whether to be scared or thrilled. He leaned in close to her downturned face with his beer breath and said, “You want a beer?” Carrie tried to keep shock off her face and out of her voice, “Um, no, thank you.” He stayed too close, but turned away, “MG? Beer?”
“Sure! Come on Carrie, we’ll split one.”
There was no mention of Ben wanting a beer. Chuck pulled an extra bottle of beer from the pocket on his baggy shorts, twisted off the cap, and took the opportunity to go stand closer to MG as he handed it to her. She took a sip, “Thanks,” she said breathlessly as her eyes twinkled at the tall dark-haired guy with the patchy five o’clock shadow. At least his smile back at her didn’t seem as lewd as Blake’s, and he wasn’t staring at her chest.
MG passed Carrie the beer, and she took a sip. She wasn’t sure what she expected; her mother to appear, or Father Andrews, or maybe a rumble of anger from heaven, but her first beer was pretty much a non-event. If he noticed, Ben would be glaring at her, so she didn’t look at him. MG smiled her approval.
As she handed the bottle back to MG, Blake moved between them, “C’mon’, let’s go get you your own beer.” He slid his hand into hers and pulled her from the room. A very quick voice in her head said, not a good idea, but she ignored it in favor of the louder and more fun, oh, my, god, he’s kinda cute, and he’s getting me a beer, and holding my hand.
♥ ♪ ♥ With four fresh beers, Carrie, Blake, MG and Chuck were lying on the bed in the master bedroom, watching a movie. The door was closed, and a little beer-buzz was kicking in, or Carrie would have felt more uncomfortable about how close Blake was lying next to her. With his arm around her, he pulled her closer every time he took a drink. She giggled, but didn’t fight being closer to him. Blake lifted her shirt and rubbed his cold beer bottle across her stomach. She giggled again.
Things were silent on the other side of the bed, and as Carrie turned to say something to MG about it, she realized why; MG and Chuck were kissing, no, they were definitely totally making out. They were twisted together, tongues in each other’s mouths, hands pulling at shirts, breathing heavy. Carrie couldn’t not stare. When did this happen? Had MG done this before? Didn’t she just meet this guy? Carrie was a little shocked, but a littl
e jealous too of MG’s sophistication.
Noting her reaction, Blake took her beer from her hand and placed it with his on the floor. As he turned back to her he used his arm behind her head to bring her face closer to his. “You jealous?” He smiled and pulled her close against his entire body.
This is it!! My first kiss!! And with MG’s Blake!! All this slid through her fuzzy brain as he inched closer. His lips were colder than she expected and, as he quickly parted her lips with his cold tongue, she couldn’t help but notice that his teeth were cold too. And he tasted like beer, or was that her. She tried to concentrate on kissing him but her mind was rapid firing questions: was she doing it right? Did she taste like beer? Where should she put her hands?
His hand, ice cold from holding his beer bottle, was sliding rapidly up her stomach … toward her mama bra. Oh, god, no, not the mama bra. She tried to casually push his hand lower, back to her stomach, but Blake leaned in and pushed his weight partially on top of her. With her one hand pinned and her brain swimming in beer and lust, she barely noticed the door knob turning, or trying to turn.
MG noticed and sat up, her tee shirt bunched above her unhooked bra, she peered over Chuck at the rattling door handle. Carrie tried to push a totally-unfazed Blake off of her. “Carrie, are you in there?” the handle rattled again, “open the door.” It was Ben. MG fell into a fit of giggles when she realized it wasn’t her mother. “Carrie!” Ben shouted.
“She’s fine. Go back to your video game,” Blake shouted. But Carrie knew from the anger in his voice that Ben wasn’t going to leave.
“Carrie! Open. The. Door!” He was using his givingArmy-orders voice, stressing each word.
“Maybe we should open it, before your mom hears.” Carrie didn’t want her time with Blake to end, but he was getting way to close to her ugly bra, and it looked like Ben was going to end it one way or another.
Blake got up off the bed, took another swig of beer, set the bottle back on the floor then strolled over to the door to unlock it. When he opened the door no one was there. “See, he left. Nothing to worry about.”