by Rosie Clarke
Peggy leaned in and unbolted the door, causing her children to look at her. Janet looked harassed and there was anger in Pip’s eyes as he saw her. She felt coldness trickle down her spine, because her son had never looked at her like that in his life.
‘You’re back then…’ Janet said as Peggy walked in and put down her suitcase.
‘Yes, I’m back. Able had to report for duty otherwise I might have stayed longer. It was a gorgeous place and I really enjoyed myself…’ Peggy looked at her son deliberately, because she wasn’t going to shy away from this, even though the look Pip was giving her was slaying her.
‘You’ve been away with that bloody Yank,’ he said and there was such disgust in his voice that for a moment Peggy’s nerve failed. ‘I couldn’t believe you would do such a thing… you must be ten years older…’
‘Not quite,’ Peggy said, meeting his furious look. ‘Even if I were it wouldn’t make any difference. Able is in love with me – and I feel the same…’
Her son made a sound of disgust in his throat. ‘I think you’ve lost your mind. He only wants you for sex and he’ll drop you when he’s ready…’
Peggy flinched as if he’d hit her. ‘I don’t think he will and even if he does it won’t matter. I’m enjoying my life, Pip. I feel loved and wanted – and that means a lot to a woman of my age.’
‘What do you mean?’ he asked in a belligerent tone. ‘You’ve always been loved and wanted. We all love you…’
‘You and Janet may love me as your mother.’ Peggy was determined not to raise her voice or get angry. After all, he was shocked and entitled to his opinion. ‘One day both of you will have families of your own and I’ll be alone with my memories – why shouldn’t I have some good ones? It doesn’t stop me loving both of you…’
‘What about Dad?’ Pip looked like a sulky schoolboy again. ‘Where does he fit in?’
‘I wish I knew,’ Peggy replied. ‘Your father has his own life – and he hasn’t been in love with me for a long time. We rubbed along all right until he went away, but he…’ she shook her head, because she didn’t want to shatter his illusions about his father. ‘We might stay together for the sake of you and Janet and the business – but we might not…’
Pip stared at her for a few minutes, then, ‘Janet says he’s got someone else – is that true?’
Peggy sighed. ‘I don’t know much about it, Pip, and that’s the truth. I believe he’s in love with her, whoever she is, and he doesn’t want me, despite what he said in his letter. He wants his pub and I’m a part of that but there’s very little between us these days… ’
‘So you went with the Yank to pay him back for cheating on you?’
‘No,’ Peggy said. ‘It’s hard to explain. At first I was just flattered and then when I found out about the other woman at Christmas I was very angry – but now…’ She allowed herself to smile. ‘I love Able. I know it may not last, but I could be killed in an air raid at any time, Pip – as any of us could. Able is a soldier. He’s assigned to a general at the moment but he could be sent to fight if America comes into the war…’
‘Pigs might fly…’ Pip said scornfully, but his expression had softened. ‘I’m sorry – I’m sorry I was rude and I’m sorry Dad hurt you, but I was angry and I didn’t know…’
‘Of course you didn’t,’ Peggy said and shook her head. ‘How long have you been here? Have you had anything to eat?’
‘Yes, I had some toast and dripping,’ he said and grinned at her. ‘Why not? I like it and I’m a growing lad…’
‘Yes, perfectly old enough to eat what you choose,’ Peggy said. ‘How long have you got?’
‘I had forty-eight hours but I arrived yesterday and I’m going to meet someone this afternoon, so just a few hours really. I thought I would miss you when Jan said she didn’t know when you would get back…’
‘Have you brought lots of washing?’
‘Not this time,’ Pip said, a faint flush in his cheeks. ‘I couldn’t manage it on the bike and – someone said she would do it for me…’
‘Found some friends down there have you?’
‘There’s a girl I like. Her mother has some of the chaps to stay when they’ve got a few hours off and don’t want to rush home. She does their washing and cooks decent food for us – and I like Sheila. She works in the local pub behind the bar. She’s the same age as me and she’s going to join up as soon as her uncle can replace her – she wants to join the Wrens…’
‘Is Sheila pretty?’ Peggy asked, resisting the impulse to tell her son he was far too young to get serious.
‘Yeah, she’s OK,’ Pip said carelessly. ‘Not as beautiful as you were when you married Dad – but nice. I like her because she’s serious and reads the kind of books I like…’
Peggy drew a sigh of relief. It didn’t sound as if he was passionate about the girl or having a mad fling – and who was she to object if he were? She turned away too busy herself making sure the stove was hot enough to cook on, before looking at Janet.
‘I’ll go and change and then I’ll start on the cooking,’ she said. ‘Oh –Able gave me a pair of silk stockings for you, Jan. I’ll give them to you later…’
‘Silk stockings!’ Jan squealed with delight. ‘Thank him for me. I haven’t had any for months.’
‘He thought you should have something nice for lookin’ after things here,’ Peggy smiled. ‘Is there anything I should know about in the meantime?’
‘No…’ Janet hesitated, then, ‘Dad rang last night. He says he may be coming home soon for a few days, but he wasn’t sure when exactly. I told him you were out with a friend. He didn’t seem bothered…’
Peggy frowned over the news that her husband might be coming back for a few days. She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing him after her wonderful time with Able. Peggy couldn’t make promises to her husband for the future but she wasn’t ready to walk away just yet either. ‘Nothing else – no calamities here?’
‘None,’ Janet said and smiled. ‘I’m glad you had a good time, Mum.’
‘Thank you, darling…’ She glanced at Pip. ‘We’ll talk again when I come down. You’ll stay for lunch – won’t you?’
‘Might as well,’ Pip said. ‘To tell you the truth, I’ve got a bit of a head this morning – had a few too many drinks last night.’
‘He found that American stuff in the cellar and took a bottle of Bourbon to his room and drank the lot,’ Janet said. ‘It serves you right it you feel sick, you idiot. Mum lost a lot of stuff in the raid and she can’t replace it – we were lucky that Able brought us some replacements.’
‘What did you do with the bottle?’ Peggy asked.
He shrugged. ‘Chucked it in the rubbish this morning. Why?’
‘I always soak the label off first,’ Peggy told him with a frown. ‘I don’t want to be arrested for dealing on the sly.’
Pip laughed. ‘They were a gift from a friend, Mum. You don’t need to worry over that – American brands aren’t what the Government are after. I should think they’re only too glad for whatever our American friends can provide.’
‘Able says they are doing all they can for us without antagonising the Germans – not just food, but all kinds of stuff, things he couldn’t tell me about.’
‘Ships and arms, I should think,’ Pip said. ‘We can’t build them fast enough to replace all those the Germans are destroying. I don’t know why the Yanks don’t just throw down the gauntlet and get stuck into the war with the Allies. It might make the Germans think again…’
‘Able says that’s what the majority of the American people want, but there are factions and lobbies to satisfy, and at the moment the President has to go carefully.’
‘Yeah? Well, one excuse is as good as another,’ Pip sneered, still angry even though he’d half forgiven her. ‘The chaps say the Yanks like to come in with flags flying when it’s nearly over.’
Wisely, Peggy ignored that last crack and left her children. It was time for her to get back to
her work…
Chapter 14
Maureen sighed as she looked at her hands; they were red and cracked between the fingers and felt very sore. She applied cream every night but it was only a temporary relief, because the next day she was back on bedpan duty and the hot water and disinfectants made it start up all over again. Sally said she should go to Matron and ask to be put on other duties, but Maureen didn’t want to go over Sister’s head. Something she’d done had upset Sister Martin and since she’d been moved to her ward Maureen had been given all the dirty jobs.
‘Nurse, haven’t you finished those pans yet?’ Sister’s voice made her jump and she turned sharply, almost upsetting a pile of pans cleaned and waiting to be placed in the sterilising unit.
‘Just finished, Sister,’ Maureen said and wiped her hands on a towel. She noticed a smear of blood as she discarded it and hid her hands behind her back.
‘Is that your blood?’ Sister Martin demanded. ‘Show me your hands, nurse.’
Wordlessly, Maureen held them out for inspection and heard Sister give a snort of disgust. ‘You young nurses have no idea of how to keep your hands properly. Have you no creams?’
‘I use Pond’s, Sister…’
‘Ridiculous! Report to my office this evening before you leave and I will give you something to protect your hands – and in the meantime you’d better go on ward duties. Get someone to put a bandage on those fingers. I can’t have you bleeding all over my patients…’
Maureen swallowed hard. ‘Yes, Sister. Thank you, Sister…’
‘You’ve been here long enough now to have learned a few things. I’ll give you this much, Nurse Jackson, you have stamina and courage. A lot of girls would have run for home if they’d been suffering as you clearly have. What made you stay?’
‘We’re needed here to do the menial jobs, because the staff nurses can’t manage all the extra jobs,’ Maureen said. ‘They need to look after our patients, because they’re suffering far worse than I was…’ She looked down at the floor, amazed at herself for speaking out.
‘It appears I misjudged you,’ Sister Martin said thoughtfully. ‘I imagined you were just here for a job, but we might make a proper nurse of you yet – if that’s what you want?’
‘I should like a chance to learn…’
Sister nodded her approval. ‘Very well, I’ll put you down on my list to attend extra lectures and we’ll see – and don’t forget to get those hands attended to please.’
‘Yes, Sister – and thank you.’
Sister Martin nodded and walked off, looking pleased with herself. Maureen stood without moving for a moment. She’d thought the sister one of the meanest on the staff and yet she’d known that the best survival rate for the men was on this ward. It fired a new flame in her. When Maureen joined she had intended just to find work for the duration of the war and since then she’d considered giving up and going back to London, because Rory’s latest letter had begged her to go back and marry him. A part of her had come close to giving in recently, but for some reason another part of her was waiting. She hadn’t been sure what she was waiting for until Sister had spoken to her and now she knew. She wanted to be able to bring comfort to men in pain and for that she needed to become a proper nurse.
*
‘Are you coming to the pub this evening?’ Sally asked when they sat in the canteen after their long shift was over. ‘A group of us are going in a truck – all out together and all back together…’
‘I was thinking I might stay here and do some revision,’ Maureen said, looking up from her newspaper. The headlines were proclaiming that Hitler had made his worst mistake of the war so far by invading Russia, and opening another front. ‘We’ve got some more exams soon and I want to get decent marks…’
Sally looked at her. ‘You know you’re the best friend I have, Maureen. I’d like us to have some fun together. We deserve it!’
‘Yes, we do and I thought we might get a weekend off soon and go up to Peggy’s together. We could shop and see the latest flicks…?’
‘Bless you for thinking of it, love,’ Sally said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. ‘Sure you won’t come tonight?’
‘I really do have to work…’
‘All work and no play…’ Sally quoted and sighed. ‘I’ve been revising for weeks and if I fail after that it will not be my fault…’
‘You’re cleverer than me,’ Maureen said and folded the paper, drawing her notebooks towards her. ‘After exams I’ll go out all you want, love. Besides, I’m tired. I’ve been running around after the nurses all day and my feet are sore.’
‘OK – you don’t mind if I go?’
‘No, of course not,’ Maureen said and smiled. ‘Enjoy yourself, Sally. I don’t grudge you a minute of it…’
Sally nodded, ‘OK, I’ll shut up and eat – this shepherd’s pie isn’t too bad for once…’
After they’d eaten, the girls returned to their hut. Sally had a wash and changed into a clean dress before going off to meet the others. Maureen washed and changed into her nightclothes, before sitting down to write some letters. She wrote Gordon a long letter telling him what Sister had said to her and describing the day-to-day happenings at the hospital, then a short cheerful one to Gran, another similar to Peggy and a brief message to her father and Violet – and then lingered over a letter to Rory.
She told him that she’d been put on the ward and encouraged to think about becoming a full-time nurse, and that she was going to try to pass the exams.
I should like to prove myself by becoming a staff nurse. I know that means we can’t marry while I remain in the service, but you don’t know whether Velma is your wife or not anyway. Perhaps one day they will allow nurses to get married – I know some places make the exception these days, but they’re very strict about it here… Once you leave hospital you could find a job down here and we can see each other whenever I’m free – that’s if you want? I do love you so much, Rory, but I don’t want to give this chance up. It’s a way of proving I’m worth something. My father said I’d crawl back and beg him to take me in, but that I’m determined never to do. I don’t want the shop even if it was mine, which Gran says it will be one day.
Hearing the first loud bangs of the evening, which seemed to come from out at sea, Maureen turned her light down and shaded the lamp. She went to lie on the bed, wondering whether she needed to dress and run back to the hospital. Most of the off-duty nurses volunteered if the hospital was attacked, but as far as she could tell the bombs were dropping further away, over the sea and perhaps the town. Besides, she was very tired and it wouldn’t be any use volunteering if she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She would just shut her eyes. If the raid came nearer it would wake her and then… She fell asleep before she could finish the thought.
*
It was morning when Maureen’s alarm clock woke her and she jumped straight out of bed, knowing she only had half an hour to wash, dress, grab a piece of toast and get to the ward for the start of her shift. She was on early this morning, but Sally was luckier, she could lie in – but Sally wasn’t in bed.
Maureen stared at the bed, which was neatly made. How had Sally managed that without waking her? And why hadn’t she woken her? Sally’s scarf and nursing bag were still lying on the top, just as she’d thrown them down before she went out last night. She hadn’t been back all night!
Where on earth was she? It wasn’t permitted to stay out all night without a pass, and Sally didn’t have the right pass. Maureen frowned as she hurriedly dressed and went down to the canteen to join the queue for toast and coffee, but there was no sign of her friend. She noticed a few of the girls looking at her oddly, but no one spoke and she didn’t take much notice. She couldn’t ask if they’d seen Sally without landing her in trouble so she chose not to talk, hoping that Sally would turn up before she was due on duty.
The queue took so long that she grabbed her buttered toast and a cardboard cup of coffee, eating and sipping the ho
t drink that tasted of nothing much but was wet and warm as she walked, and disposing of the remains in the bin as she approached the hospital. She walked up the stairs to the landing where Sister Martin’s ward was situated, knowing she was on the verge of being late.
‘Nurse Jackson…’ Sister’s voice stopped her in her tracks and she turned slowly, expecting a telling-off but the senior nurse looked anxious and upset. ‘Would you come to my office please?’
‘Yes, Sister.’ Maureen followed her, heart racing, hardly knowing what to expect. What had she done that warranted a visit to Sister’s office?
‘Sit down, nurse.’
Maureen sat, because her knees had suddenly turned to jelly. Was she going to be dismissed? What had led to this? She had no idea.
‘I’m very sorry to be the bearer of bad news,’ Sister Martin said, sitting herself. She looked white and almost on the verge of tears and Maureen shivered. ‘I wanted to tell you personally if you hadn’t heard – fifteen of our staff, nurses and porters were killed in the raid last night…’
‘Oh no…’ Maureen felt faint and sick. No wonder people had looked so strange this morning. ‘I fell asleep. I didn’t realise the hospital had taken a hit or I would’ve reported for duty earlier…’
‘We were not hit here. It was in a pub just outside the town centre. Several of the staff had gone there for a night out. I understand there was a band of some kind and – well, the pub took a direct hit. Everyone inside was killed – the staff, landlord, his family and our nurses and one junior doctor.’
‘No!’ Maureen half rose from her seat and fell back as she realised what Sister Martin was telling her. ‘Sally was with them…’
‘Yes, so I understand,’ Sister said gently. ‘I believe you were good friends…’
‘She’s dead?’ Maureen swallowed hard. It was hard to accept that the girl she’d come to love almost like a sister had been killed while out relaxing and enjoying herself. ‘First Pam and now Sally…’
‘Yes, your hut mates have both gone now. I shall either have to assign new inmates or move you, Nurse Jackson. Which would you prefer when you return from compassionate leave?’