“What money?” she mocked him.
Jamie smiled, shaking his head. “My money.” That old twinkle was back in his eye and the confident swagger that she used to find so attractive now made her skin crawl.
“Wait, do you mean the money I found in Key West? That money is long gone, Jamie. Or is it Jack now?” Insolent, she put her hands on her hips, daring him to do something to her.
Jamie’s hands came around her throat so fast she didn’t have time to react. “You better be joking, Stella.” He pushed her up against the brick wall by the neck and lifted her up. The toes of her running shoes scraped the sidewalk and she kicked furiously. Her fear was palpable and she tried to swallow it.
Stella’s kicking and thrashing began to slow after a few minutes; she was having a hard time breathing. Tears began falling from her eyes, dropping on their own like rain off of tree branches. Images flashed in her brain: her parents, George, Patrick. One by one, the pictures rolled through her brain and fell away. She shook her head. Not like this. Once darkness clouded her vision, he released her and threw her to the ground. In spite of her thoughts and her inability to breathe, she popped up quickly, taking even, slow breaths. She took a minute to calm herself and looked him defiantly in the eyes.
“You know…it was so nice having some spending money. I bought some shoes and the suit I wore to testify against your friend. Oh yeah, I got the hottest car I’ve ever been in, too. Have you seen it? I practically had an orgasm when I cranked it.” She was just talking, trying to buy time to allow her brain to come up with a way out of this situation.
“You just put a nail in your own fucking coffin.” Jamie’s voice was void of emotion. He was wearing jeans, the same New Balance tennis shoes he used to always wear, a red fleece, and a Bass Pro Shop hat pulled down low on his head. He looked identical to the old Jamie, and for a moment it was difficult to separate his looks from the monster he’d become. She knew he’d done that intentionally.
It was as if the cord that had been barely holding her together for the last five years snapped with such force her body braced itself. Time stood still and she punched Jamie in the nose with all she had, catching him off guard. She actually heard the bones in her hand crack on impact. Pain shot up her arm and she winced and let out the first word that came to her mind. “FUCK!”
She shook her hand and took a step back from him. “Can’t you just be happy you ruined me?! Not only did you shoot me, but I loved you and you ruined any chance that I ever had to be okay! I’m so fucked up because of YOU! And you just keep making it worse!” She pushed him, pain radiated down her right arm. “All that shit you said to me in Key West was complete and utter bullshit. ‘I shot you because I didn’t want him to rape you,’” she mimicked. “BULLSHIT! ‘I kidnapped you because I love you.’ BULLSHIT! You couldn’t call me or email me to let me know you were alive? BULLSHIT! You sure as hell told your momma and your sister you were alive. Was that before or after I watched them cry when your casket was lowered into the ground? I fucking loved you once. I loved you. I was going to marry you.” She was panting and beat her chest with her left fist. “But I have never hated anyone as much as I hate you. I’m sick of your shit, JACK. IF YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME, FUCKING DO IT! I’M TIRED OF BEING SCARED EVERYDAY. I’M TIRED OF TRYING TO BE SOMEONE I’M NOT. FUCKING DO IT! Put me out of my fucking misery. Do what you need to do to me, but leave George out of it.”
She took a breath. Jamie’s face registered an emotion she couldn’t discern, then his mask slid back in place. That was one thing they had in common; they were getting really good at pretending. It was his job, it was her life.
She forced herself to look at him with the rage she felt in her eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing at, but the game is finished. And I will win.” She bent down and picked up Cooper’s leash with her left hand.
Cooper stood in between her and Jamie at attention. Stella pushed him again and tried to punch him, but he grabbed her injured right hand and squeezed it so hard she screamed as the pain shot through her entire arm. She whimpered, hoping that Jamie would let her go, but instead Cooper jumped up and bit Jamie’s wrist with everything he had.
Jamie yelled “SHIT!” and released Stella. Stella started running as fast as she could; clutching the leash, she felt it pull, relieved when Cooper was even with her, matching her steps back to George’s house.
After sprinting the entire way home, Stella didn’t even glance at Gunter sitting in his car. She rushed through the garage and closed it immediately. She stood near the door, her chest heaving up and down; it’d been a really long time since she’d run so fast. Adrenaline coursed through her veins; she guessed it was the only reason she’d been able to run all the way home.
As her heart started to slow, the realization of what just happened washed over her and she slid down the wall by the door to the garage. Tears didn’t fall from her eyes, but on the inside she was sobbing. Cooper walked over to where she now sat crumpled on the ground and lay with her, his paw on her leg. Stella took a few seconds to fall apart, then started building her resolve.
Her hand throbbed and it was turning purple. Fucking great. She’d probably broken a bone in her hand or something, with her fucking luck. Fantastic. She’d have to learn how to type with her left hand or she guessed she’d just dictate everything for work.
Stella pulled her phone off her armband and sent an email to Christine and her secretary, Nancy, saying that she’d be out of work today. She walked up to her bedroom, still numb from what’d just happened, and peeled off her sweat-damp clothes. It was more difficult to do with just her left hand than she expected. She walked into the shower and stayed there until the water ran cold. She sat on the bench and her resolve disintegrated; she let herself cry.
It’d be the last time she’d let him make her cry.
Cooper was sitting at the shower door, waiting for her, when she got out. He followed her everywhere she went until it was time for her to go to the doctor.
She drove herself, one-handed, to the urgent care center up the road where she quickly found out she was right—she’d broken her hand. They put a small cast on that reached a little past her wrist, leaving just her fingertips peeking out. Stella admitted to herself that the pain in her hand was worth the look in Jamie’s eyes when she’d punched him. She couldn’t shoot him, but maybe she could still hurt him.
She stayed home all day from work; the morning had taken its toll on her. She sat on the back porch and admired the fall foliage, trying to get in touch with Jesse.
“Plays with Balls, you there?”
“Fuck that handle. If you’re going to call me something with balls, talk about how good they are. You’d know.”
“Lumpy Balls, you there?” She barely got out through her laughter.
“Fuck you,” Jesse retorted. “What’s up?”
“So, just wanted to give you a heads up that I ran into our little problem this morning.” Jesse was the safest person to tell first about running into Jamie. George would freak out and try to come home.
“What do you mean you ran into him?” Jesse was suddenly alert.
“He was waiting for me during my run.”
“Are you serious? You okay?”
“Dumb question. I broke my hand on his face, though.”
“Good girl. You piss him off?”
“I would say so,” Stella acknowledged, drinking a huge gulp of George’s Jameson.
“Stella. I’m looking into…things. I’m worried about you in the meantime.”
“This was my fault. I shouldn’t have been running the same route every day. I’ll get Patrick to run with me from now on, different routes.” Stella knew Patrick wouldn’t mind, and it would give them time to talk without Millie around.
“Do you think you’ll be able to get him recorded though?” Jesse’s voice was full of concern. “He’s not going to do anything you say now that you broke his nose.”
“I actually think he
and I were due for that run-in. There were some things…some things I needed to say. He knows where I stand now and I know he’s willing to kill me. He wants money.”
“How much?” Jesse was all business.
“Fifty.”
“I’ll send it to you when we get off the phone.”
Stella looked at the phone for a minute. She honestly didn’t know how she was so lucky to have these great people around her. Jesse would help her if she was in trouble and he’d just confirmed it again.
“Ummm, no. That is the sweetest, kindest thing I think…” her voice caught in her throat. “Jesse, thanks for being a friend.”
“Thank you for being a friend.” He was silent for a few beats and then came back on. “Don’t tell anyone I’m sweet. I’m a mean bastard who will fuck your girlfriend and your sister.”
“Oh yes, that’s right.” She laughed. “I’m glad I don’t have a sister.”
“Stella,” he said, his voice serious. “Please be careful. And watch your six.”
“You know CB terms?” She laughed again.
“Fuck yeah, I do. My dad had one.”
“You watch your six. I’ll keep you updated. I’m putting all my eggs in the FBI basket. I hope that it pans out.” She really did hope that she wasn’t going in the wrong direction. What the hell would she do if this didn’t work out?
“I hope so too.”
She leaned back in her chair on the porch, the crispness of the air reminding her it was her favorite time of year. She took another sip of her drink and decided she couldn’t be by herself, but she wasn’t up for Patrick and Millie.
“Breaker, breaker, No Balls. Where you at?” she said through Voxer.
It took Billy an entire whiskey to get back with her. “Whole of Vagina, I’m at home.”
She laughed wholeheartedly. “Oh my shit, Billy! I almost spit out my drink. Come meet me at Finnegan’s. I don’t want to drink by myself.”
“Well, friends don’t let friends drink alone. I’ll see you in ten.”
She smiled and walked inside. Cooper followed her. She took a deep breath and got his leash out and shoved her feet into her rain boots. Walking outside, she braced herself for the camera, but there were only two photographers hanging out at the park waiting for her. Relieved, she walked Cooper toward the Potomac and stared into the deep muddled color that was the river, losing herself in her thoughts for a few minutes. She didn’t realize that one of the photographers had approached her.
“El. How’s everything going?” The photographer was in his twenties and pudgy with a bad haircut. His use of her nickname caught her off guard.
“Excuse me?” she said, livid.
“How’s it going? What’d you do to your hand?” Click went his camera.
“Please step back,” she demanded.
“What? I’m in a public park.” Click.
“Step. Back.” She used an authoritative voice that made Cooper stop smelling and stand at attention, his tail sticking straight up in the air.
“I can be anywhere I want to be in a park.” Click. He stepped even closer to her, deliberately invading her personal space.
She turned to leave and he grabbed her arm. “Do not fucking touch me!”
He held his hands up innocently. “I’m not.”
He stepped in again and rubbed her arm with his. She kicked him in the nuts out of sheer instinct.
“Shit,” Stella muttered.
Cooper started barking and growling at the photographer.
The photographer was doubled over, but that didn’t keep her from hearing him grunt, “That’s battery, bitch.”
Stella wanted to get obliterated so she wouldn’t have to examine the colossal mistake she just made. Fuck. She’d already called Greg to let him know that she’d be getting a suit for damage to the photographer’s nuts. It didn’t matter that he’d touched her first, it was the fucking hassle that would come. He would sue her, it would be in the media, and it wouldn’t matter what really happened.
She walked the few blocks to Finnegan’s to meet Billy and voxed George on her way.
“You fucking vultures,” she started.
“Hey, Love,” George answered, his voice cheery.
“So I just got myself sued by kicking a photographer in the nuts. Just FYI.”
“Nice. What happened?”
Stella sighed. “I was walking Cooper and this guy got in my face. I told him to back off several times and he just kept coming at me. He touched my arm, so I kicked him in the nuts.”
“Sounds fair to me, Love.” She could hear the smile in his voice.
“Just wanted to make sure you knew so when the asshole media reports it, you’re already aware.”
“Okay, Love. What’re you doing now?”
“Headed to Finnegan’s to drink with Billy. I need to get drunk and I try not to do that by myself anymore.”
“Tell everyone I said hello,” George said. “Wish I was there for a drink.”
“Will do,” she agreed, “and me too.”
“I love you.”
“Not as much as I do.” She put her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. Her sweater was big and chunky and kept her warm in the night air.
The heat of Finnegan’s hit her face as soon as she opened the door. Hazel was behind the bar, but so was Owen. He smiled and winked at her as she entered. Billy was already there, nursing a beer.
She plopped down on the barstool next to him.
“Um, ten minutes was twenty minutes ago.” Billy pointed at his watch.
“Well, I was busy kicking a reporter in the balls and getting myself sued.” She took a sip of the warm beer that sat in front of her.
“Your life is so fucking boring. How do you even stand yourself?” Billy asked, stone-faced.
“I want to stab myself in the eye on a daily basis,” she deadpanned.
“I would too.” He leaned his shoulder into hers and put his head briefly on her shoulder. “You good?”
She shrugged. “I’m about to be out several thousand dollars to make this dirtbag motherfucker go away.”
“It looks like you have some new jewelry on too.” Billy pointed at her cast. “Is that in fashion now?”
She smiled. “Broke it on Jamie’s face this morning.”
Billy gaped at her for just a second, then grinned as he pondered her words and took a sip of beer. “Where?”
Her phone went off. It was a text from Millie. “Running,” she answered, reading the text.
WTF did you do?
Stella sighed.
It cannot be on Twitter already
Millie’s response was quick.
It’s on fucking CNN
Stella’s eyes widened at the text.
“What?” Billy looked her phone. “Why would you kicking a photographer in the balls be on CNN?”
There’s a video of you kicking a photographer in the nuts and then cussing at him. Really?
“What the fuck?” Stella examined the text and showed it to Billy.
“Did you see anyone else in the park?” Billy asked.
“There was another photographer, but he wasn’t over there. Just the one guy.” Realization set in. They’d set her up. “Fuck.”
Afraid I’m guilty of that. Going to get my ass sued.
Millie sent a text within seconds.
They’re saying you’ve finally lost your shit
This made Stella laugh. If they only knew.
Are they surprised?
Billy ordered two more beers and Owen sidled over to where they were sitting. “So Stella, who’s your friend?”
“Owen, this is Billy. Billy, Owen,” Stella said, holding her cast down in her lap so that it wasn’t visible. She hadn’t told George yet and she didn’t want it getting back to him before she decided what she was going to tell him. “Billy and I used to live together.”
Owen’s green eyes grew exponentially.
Billy’s laugh was so loud it cut through the
bar. “Not even close.”
“No.” Stella shook her head. “I lived with two guys before I moved in with George.”
Owen nodded, contemplating. “You guys are friends?”
“The best,” Stella confirmed.
“Will know you’re here?” he asked.
“Yes.” She laughed uncomfortably. She loved Owen’s Irish accent, so she wouldn’t mind talking to him more, but she really didn’t want him to end up seeing/hearing about her cast. “He told me to tell you hello. I had to tell him that I would be in the news again and it seems like it’s sooner than I thought.”
“What’d you do this time?”
“Kicked a photographer in the balls.”
“He deserve it?” Owen asked.
“Yes.”
He nodded and moved down the bar.
“Odd one,” Billy commented.
“Yes, he is,” she agreed, taking a gulp of her beer. She turned to Billy abruptly. “I think I may stay with y’all this weekend.”
“The silence getting to you?” Billy teased.
“Of course.” She nodded.
“El, I’m not sure what all’s going on, but know you can come back to our house whenever you need to. Your bed’s still there, for fuck’s sake.”
“I appreciate it, Billy. I’ll probably be wearing out my welcome soon enough.”
“You did that a long time ago.” He grinned and pulled her into a side hug.
Chapter Fourteen
Distraction
Confidence exuded through her every pore as she parted the crowd gathered in front of the four microphones set up in front of the National Cathedral. Christine thought it’d be a nice touch to have the press conference in front of a church. Senator Miller had come to them less than 24 hours ago with the reality that his political and personal life was about to explode on the front page of every newspaper in the country. With the 24 hours news cycle, she was all too aware that he’d be on TV and the internet every 10 minutes for the next two weeks. Personally, she always appreciated new headlines—it meant there’d be no stories of her life.
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