“Nah. He doesn’t have the cash, and I sure don’t.”
I always felt awkward listening in on conversations like this. Did people bring up their lack of funds in the hope that I would offer to fix their financial problems? Most times, I did. I got a kick out of being a year-round Santa. In Nathan’s case, however, I wasn’t sure what to say. I could offer to give his old man a commercial plane ticket, or hell, even send the jet for him. But did I really want to take our casual acquaintance to that deeper level? The more distance between us, the better.
“Liam?” Ella toyed with a piece of spinach. “Do you think you could help Nathan’s dad with a visit?”
As my fiancée, Ella’s request wasn’t out of line. Garrett had already given me shit about getting her to sign a pre-nup, but with as much money as I had, I’d willingly give Ella anything she wanted. But this? I felt selfish, and equally annoyed by her even asking. But put on the spot, there wasn’t much I could do other than fish a business card from my wallet, then hand it to the kid. “You and your dad work out when he’d like to come, and I’ll cover the costs.”
Nathan raised his chin. “I appreciate the offer, but that’s okay. My dad and I both are the sort who’d rather pay our own way.”
I could respect that. I kept eating my meal.
“Nathan…” Ella scowled. “Liam made you a generous offer. Why do you always have to be so proud?”
The kid fisted his napkin. “Please, Ella, stay out of this.” To me, he directed, “I really do appreciate your offer, but do me a favor, and think back to a time when you didn’t have all of this…” He gestured to our posh surroundings. “I never brought up money—or my lack thereof—in hopes of landing a handout. That’s not the way I roll.” He offered his hand to shake across the table.
I met him, clasping his palm. “No worries. The offer still stands if you find yourself in a pinch.”
He nodded, but that was all.
The rest of the meal passed in silence.
Ella stiffened alongside me. Was she pissed that I hadn’t helped her friend? I’d tried. Didn’t that count?
Needing space, I said, “I’m going aft to make a few calls.”
10
Ella
Asking Liam for money to give to Nathan had been beyond inappropriate.
The second I’d made the suggestion, I’d regretted it.
Liam and I might be engaged, but even after we were married, his money would never truly be my money. That’s why I wanted to start school—even if I only took courses online. I needed to make something of myself¸ for myself. No matter how much I loved Liam, never again would I be solely dependent on a man.
With Stephanie in the cockpit and Liam in the back cabin, Nathan leaned across the table. “What the hell? Why would you do that?”
“Sorry. I thought you’d want your dad to visit.”
“Sure, I do, but not like this. You might be all dreamy-eyed over this guy, but I don’t know him from Adam. I’m sure as hell not accepting charity from him.”
I sat back and crossed my arms. “Then why are you on his plane?”
His brown gaze narrowed. “Truth? Obviously, I needed a ride to Willow’s funeral. But beyond that, I wanted to see the two of you together. I need to see for myself if he’s good enough for you.”
“Stop!” I whispered, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Stephanie wasn’t lurking behind us—not that she was the lurking type, but she could have accidentally stumbled upon Nathan’s less-than-heroic speech. “You can’t say things like that. No matter what you think, Liam and I share a connection I can’t begin to explain—and don’t have to. You need to respect that.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I’m serious.”
“Uh-huh…” He finished his meal.
Wanting away from Nathan, I slid out of the booth to walk on wobbly legs to the small but efficient galley. I figured the least I could do after she’d prepared such a delicious meal would be to help with the cleanup.
I’d just finished washing a sauté pan when Stephanie opened the cockpit door. “What’re you doing?”
“What’s it look like?” I shot a grin her way. “Have a seat. Your poor feet must be killing you.”
She graced me with her usual serene smile. “You’re a doll for pitching in, but this is my job. You’re soon to be my boss’s wife. Please, find a seat and relax.”
“Sure. Okay.” Something in her tone made me feel as if I didn’t belong. Or, I guess I did, but not in her circle. There had been an unspoken intonation in her voice that said I was somehow above her. That if she didn’t serve me properly, there could be repercussions. Which was ridiculous. Liam thought the world of her.
A discreet ding sounded, which prompted Stephanie to answer a wall-mounted phone. “Yes, Mr. Stone?”
Why the formality? Especially when I’d seen firsthand how casually Liam ran his office.
“Yes, sir.”
“Is everything all right?” I asked after she’d hung up.
“Oh, sure.” She wore her usual serene smile, which prompted me to wonder if there had been a problem, would she have let any of us know?
Even though she’d just finished making a full breakfast, she now gathered an assortment of leafy vegetables.
“After that huge breakfast, is Liam craving a salad?”
“Juice. Excuse me.” She motioned me aside. “You’d probably be more comfortable if you had a seat.”
Though her request had been faultlessly polite, why did I get the impression that I’d been given a royal brush-off?
Nathan had moved to an armchair, stretched out his legs and fallen asleep.
I wanted to talk with Liam, but was he busy? I hated this feeling of not belonging but wasn’t sure what to do about it. I hated remembering back when Liam had first brought me to San Francisco, and I’d met with Garrett. He’d intimated that Liam wasn’t the kind and gentle soul I’d pegged him to be. That he had a side I didn’t yet know. At the time, I’d chosen not to believe him, but upon witnessing his behavior today, I had to wonder.
Was I expecting too much to wish he’d asked me to join him in his cabin? Or that he’d at least tried being part of the earlier conversation I’d had with Nathan?
“Brace yourself,” Stephanie said. “Liam’s juicer is loud.”
She wasn’t kidding.
Her end result was a crystal glass filled with green goo that she garnished with a leafy celery stick. “Yum,” she teased.
“Would you like me to take it to him?” I asked, wishing I didn’t feel the need to make an excuse to see my own fiancé.
“Why not?” She took longer than I liked to think about it, but then handed the glass to me, along with a white cloth napkin. “Thank you.”
I nodded, then walked toward the back cabin, stepping over Nathan’s legs, and knocked on Liam’s door.
“Come on in, Steph.”
Though it hurt that he hadn’t expected me, I had to toughen up and realize that he was an important man. Even once we were married, he couldn’t stop everything to entertain me, which was one more reason I had to embark on a life goal all my own. Willow’s funeral had us all on edge and I was overreacting. Why wouldn’t Liam feel awkward around Nathan? Considering the fact that they both had feelings for me, to expect anything else was just stupid.
I slid open the pocket door, cast a smile in his direction, then closed the door behind me. “Your juice,” I said with a flourish.
“Thanks.” He barely looked up from his laptop. “Why didn’t Stephanie bring it?”
“Because I wanted to. I missed you.”
“Oh.”
Ignoring his cold shoulder, I snuggled next to him on the sofa. “What’re you doing?”
“Working up a proposal for the board. To remain relevant, I want to diversify. We’ve proven ourselves to be proficient at software, apps, and the whole search engine gig, but I want to make something tangible. When it comes down to it, my legacy is air.” He s
ipped his juice.
“Your legacy? What’s got you thinking about such heavy fare so early?”
“We are on our way to a funeral. Willow was too young to die, but it could happen to any of us—even without a cocaine assist.”
True. But that was the last thing I cared to think about.
“Last night,” he said, “while we were cleaning up, Owen and I tossed around the idea of getting into robotics—not the kind in factories like we have now, but real cutting-edge shit that’s straight out of sci-fi movies. We want to create a butler so realistic owners will wonder if they should gift him at Christmas.”
“Is that possible? For a robot to be so humanlike?”
He shrugged. “Guess we’ll never know if we don’t start figuring it out.” After taking a sip of his juice, he added, “In the future, you should let Stephanie do her job.”
Where had that come from? “Okay…”
“You’re going to be my wife. You should act like it. Natalie will help—introduce you around the right circles and make sure you fit in.”
I leaned away from him. “What happened to the guy I woke up alongside this morning? He didn’t strike me as being an elitist snob.”
He had the good grace to wince. “I wouldn’t go that far. All I’m saying is that as my wife, people will have certain expectations.”
“Like what? For me to be a bitch? And how would Natalie be able to help in that arena, given the fact that she was an incredibly gracious hostess? As long as I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you treat anyone as if they’re lower than you. Why now?”
“I don’t know, okay?” He finished off his juice, then stashed the glass in one of the built-in sofa’s rear cup-holders. “Maybe I just want everyone to treat you like the princess I believe you to be.”
I snorted. “That’s a lovely notion, but have you forgotten the fact that you picked me up in a Wal-Mart snack bar? Before that, I was a cowardly punching bag, too afraid of my own shadow to stand up to the monster who’d carved me. Instead, I snuck off like I’d done something wrong, when I should have found a way to stand up to him.” I wasn’t proud of running, but I was very proud of surviving. “For you to now put me on some pedestal, believing me too high and mighty to deliver a glass of juice?” I had to laugh. “You sound unhinged.”
He drew me into a hug. “Maybe I am. Watching you interact with Nathan reminded me how little you and I actually know about each other. I love you so much it hurts, but I don’t know why. What is it about you and no other woman that makes me feel crazy? Like I want to punch any man who dares look at you, let alone talks to you and touches you. When he hugged you…”
“Liam,” I pushed him back so I could meet his gaze. “What’s it going to take for you to believe I love you just as much? And I feel just as crazy when I see how closely you and Carol work together—plus, you two admittedly slept together, when Nathan and I haven’t. But do you see me acting nutty?”
“Guess not.” He hung his head in mock shame. I could tell he didn’t actually feel bad, because of his stupid, handsome smirk. “But you’re so much better-looking than me, can you blame me for being insecure?”
I shook my head, wanting to be mad at him, but when his smirk eased into a slow grin, I was helpless to do anything but kiss him. “I love you. Can we try getting through the rest of this day without further drama?”
“Maybe…”
“Wrong answer,” I said, grabbing a throw pillow I used to pummel him on his too-handsome head.
There was no doubt more between us that needed to be said, but I was tired—not just from going to bed too late and waking too early. I was soul-deep weary and needed every part of my life to change. My engagement to Liam made for a great first step, but there was so much left to be done until I was once again whole.
11
Liam
My kitten had curled herself against me and fallen asleep.
I covered her with the throw and tried getting back into my proposal, but it was no good. I was no more in the mood for work than Ella had been in the mood for my BS. She’d been right. My insecurities where we were concerned were unfounded. So why did I dread breaking our cozy spell once the plane landed?
Upon arrival, the car that Carol had arranged to be delivered to the tarmac was thankfully in place. The black Chrysler 300 was nowhere near the standard of my usual ride, but it beat the hell out of the cab I’d ridden around in the last time I’d been in town.
I helped Ella into the front passenger side while the kid, to my relief, climbed in back.
Once I sat behind the wheel with the engine idling, I asked, “Where to?”
In the rearview mirror, I saw Nathan consult his watch. “We’ve got thirty minutes to kill before we’re due for lunch with my family.”
“What did Garrett do with my apartment?” Ella asked.
Her question caught me off guard. I didn’t have a firm answer for her, so I guessed. “I told Garrett to keep your former life intact—you know, just in case you wanted to move back.” I grasped her right hand, raising it to my lips. “Since that’s not happening, want to stop by and check for anything you might want, then officially turn in your keys?”
She kept her gaze focused out the window but nodded, so I aimed the car in that direction.
The weather was much different than it had been when we’d met. The sun shone, and the pilot had told us the local temperature was 53 degrees. For January, I didn’t think that was too bad.
It hadn’t been long since I’d been in Rose Springs. The town had only one main road. It wasn’t that hard to remember how to get to the shit hole where Ella used to live.
When I pulled into The Colonnade’s lot, the tires crunched broken glass.
A gang of six kids played tag in the yard where I’d last seen snowmen.
I killed the engine, then angled on the seat to face Ella. “Sure you want to do this? It wouldn’t be a big deal for me to have Garrett arrange for your furniture and other belongings to be donated to charity.”
“Garrett’s already doing enough.” With her hand on the door handle, she forced a breath. “You and Nathan can stay here. The furniture belongs to the landlord, and anything else I want will fit in a Wal-Mart sack.”
“Sorry, but you’re not going anywhere alone.” I opened my door. “I’m going with you.”
“Me, too.” Nathan already had his door open and one foot on the pavement.
“Guys…” With us all now on the sidewalk, she gave Nathan and me her best glare. “Really, I can handle this. Please, wait in the car.”
“Not happening,” I insisted. Had she forgotten that the day before she’d left, her next-door neighbor had been murdered?
“I agree,” Nathan added. “I never liked you living in this place.”
“Whatever.” She started walking. “Lots of people live here. Families. Old people. Young people. Sure, there might be a few bad seeds, but doesn’t every neighborhood have one or two?”
Not in my zip code.
She turned her back on us to head to her apartment.
I followed.
Nathan dogged my heels.
By the time we’d trudged upstairs, Ella was already in her place, but she’d left the door open. I walked inside and was put off by the smell—a cross between bug spray and mold. Her living room ceiling boasted a pizza-sized brown stain and the carpet squished beneath my loafers. Thinking of Ella living in these conditions had me yet again reaching for my TUMS.
Nathan had passed me to join Ella in her former bedroom.
“What are you getting?” I heard him ask.
“Just a few pictures and my journal. I never thought we’d end up staying in California.”
Nathan said, “I know what you mean.”
Unable to stand another minute of feeling like a third wheel, I asked, “Want me to grab any of your books or clothes?”
“No, thank you.” She crammed a pile of loose snapshots into a red gingham bag that sported a face
made of a vinyl-bacon mouth and fried-egg eyes. It was the sort of quirky accessory one of my female high school friends might have carried—not that I’d had that many. I wouldn’t have labeled any of them my girlfriend.
The apartment’s gloom made me feel like a trespasser in a long-sealed tomb. The air was oppressive and still. A fine layer of dust coated every flat surface.
The last time I’d been here hadn’t been one of my prouder moments. It was when I’d first broached the subject of a contract with Ella. It was also the time she’d kicked me out. I’d feared never seeing her again, yet she now wore my ring.
Maybe time really does change everything.
“How’re you doing?” I asked, having sidestepped Nathan to stand behind her at her dresser. I ran my hand up and down her back. I wish I could say the gesture had been meant solely for her comfort. In part, it was, but the insecure kid in me was marking territory by reminding Nathan that he might be her friend, but she was ultimately marrying me. “Have everything you needed?”
She nodded. “I think so…” She dragged in a deep, shuddering breath, only to sharply exhale. “I’m sure this place doesn’t seem like much to you, but the first night I spent here was one of the best of my life. After such a long time of feeling like Blaine’s prisoner, I’d finally been free. All at once, it had been a rush and yet still scary. Every little noise had made me jump. It took a few months before I stopped thinking every creak in the ceiling or floor was a sign of Blaine coming to get me.”
“Did you ever have cause to believe he’d found you?”
“No…”
“I still can’t believe you never told me and Willow. We could have helped,” Nathan said.
“You did…” She swiped a few tears, which made me feel like an even bigger ass for again worrying about myself when she was the one hurting. My petty insecurities meant nothing. “I’ll never be able to repay you for being such a good friend. Wish I’d had the chance to tell Willow how much…”
She lost it, but before she could turn to Nathan, I enfolded her in not just a hug, but the kind of love and support only I could give. Nathan might be her friend, but I was her friend and lover and more.
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