Garrett stepped back, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, you’re lucky Big Sur cops aren’t pressing charges, too. Bottom line, you’ve got to chill. No more getting physical—ever. Not just to protect yourself, but the company. The press is having a field day with this. Your latest stunt has already hit TMZ.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass about press. I have to get Ella back. She’s not safe.”
“In case you missed any of what I already told you, here’s one more thing you need to know. Ella’s husband already has filed a petition for an emergency Order of Protection—No Contact.”
“Speak English. What does that even mean?”
“It means that if you so much as breathe her name in the state of Tennessee, you’ll be stuck there for a real long time. Let her go.”
“I can’t.”
Garrett tossed up his hands. “You’re in deep enough now that if you screw up one more time, you might be too far gone for me to help you at all.”
—
Cuffed, and crammed into the back of a cop car, I was in no mood for the rain that had brought freeway traffic to a standstill. Making matters worse, my driver was chatty.
“My wife’s not gonna believe I had you in the back of my ride.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Fear for Ella surged through me. Was she still in the sky, or had her plane landed in Memphis? How far was her hometown from there? Was Blaine’s plan to take her back to his house or to some crazy-ass asylum? How was I supposed to find out locked in a cell? On autopilot, I reached for my cell to call Carol, only to realize the airport cops had taken it, along with my other possessions.
“I know this is asking a lot,” my driver said, “but could I trouble you for an autograph? My wife loves anything to do with movie stars and rich guys like you. When she saw you were engaged to that pretty little gal, she wouldn’t shut up about the size of her ring.” He laughed. “You gotta tone it down. You’re making the rest of us look bad.”
“Wasn’t my intention.” I stared out the window. The rain made it look as if the whole world—or, at least, this abhorrent part of it—were crying red.
“I get it.” He chuckled. “If I had your cash, I’d give my woman the moon.”
“Yet with all my millions, I’m still stuck here in traffic with you, while some asshat flies off with my girl.”
The cop worked the vehicle into the left lane, but it was just as slow. “Sorry about that. I’m sure you’ll get it all worked out.”
“Not from back here…”
“Wish I were the sort open to a bribe, but even if I pulled over to let you run, you’d only get yourself in deeper trouble.”
I sighed. “I’m touched you care.”
From up front came the muted sound of my cell. It was Carol’s ringtone.
“Sorry about that. Those TSA guys were supposed to turn that off. But hey,” the cop said when it wouldn’t stop ringing. “Maybe we could work out a little bribe. How ’bout I give you your phone—just until we get to the station—then you give me that autograph for my wife?” He glanced over his shoulder. “It sure would make her happy.”
I leaned forward, not sure how we’d make this transaction through the security cage, but I was certainly amenable to trying. I’d do anything to get a message to Ella. She had to know I was coming. “Deal.”
16
Ella
I woke to find myself seated in a wheelchair, being rolled up a jetway.
I couldn’t see who was pushing me, but Blaine strode confidently alongside me and held my hand. The sight was so utterly shocking, and delivered such a swift kick to my gut, that I retched.
“Take a deep breath,” said the now familiar doctor behind me. “Ride it out. For such a small woman, you’ve had an awful lot of excitement.”
What did he mean? What was happening?
I looked up to find us emerging from the tunnel. I tried escaping from Blaine’s hold, but he was too strong. My mind felt foggy, as if I could only think a few feet ahead. Only that made no sense. But in my fractured state, it made perfect sense. Even though I knew I was upright, I felt as if I were leaning. And even though there were throngs of people all around, I’d never felt more lonely or afraid.
I didn’t want to be, but was wheeled farther and farther from Liam until I had to ask myself a very tough question—had the time I’d spent with him been nothing more than a dream? Could such a thing be possible? He felt so real. With my eyes closed, I still tasted his kisses. But with my eyes open, I didn’t know where I was or where he was or when we’d last been together.
Above all, I needed to know why I was back with Blaine. He was the devil.
My escape from him had been real enough, right? But if so, how had he found me? What had been my fatal mistake?
I grew drowsy again and drifted off.
I woke to the sound of a woman wailing.
A man praised God.
But wait—I looked closer to find these weren’t just any ordinary people, but my parents. I loved them so much. I couldn’t remember why I hadn’t seen them. All my heart knew was that our separation had been far too long.
My father drew me to my feet, and now he was crying, too. “You came home. Blaine, how can we ever thank you for bringing back our baby?”
“No one’s happier about this than me.” Blaine wrapped his arm around my waist, supporting my weight while at the same time, binding me to him. I felt locked in a cage and frantically beat my wings against the wire, but it was no use. The drug he’d used to trap me was far more effective than mere steel bars. “Look how pretty she is. She even kept her hair long—just the way I like it.”
He combed his fingers through my hair, but in my mind, each digit became a snake, twisting and writhing in sick unison.
I screamed.
The doctor who had been behind me stepped forward. “I know, I know…” he said in his singsong, patronizing voice while wielding a syringe. “All of this must seem so strange. Here’s a little something to make you feel better.”
“What’s wrong with her?” my mother asked. Her voice sounded far away.
“The short version is that she’s suffering from a form of psychosis. The whole story may unfortunately take quite some time to fully unfold.”
“Once I get her home,” Blaine said, “I bet she’ll snap out of it.”
“Do you think that’s wise?” my father asked.
Blaine rested one of his meaty hands on my dad’s shoulder. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Frank, but no one has spent more time or effort searching for your daughter than me. She’s my reason for breathing. Trust me when I say I’ll make sure she never leaves again.”
“No, no, no…” A simmering, slow-burning rage built inside me. Like constructing a bonfire, the individual parts of this day had served as kindling that was now ready to ignite. The way I’d been snatched from my home—my heart—and drugged—it had all been too much. Where was Liam? Why hadn’t he saved me? I didn’t understand any of this. Not just my parents, but everyone else stared at me with their eyes enormous, as if I now viewed the world through a magnifying glass. But how could that be if they were studying me? I shrunk deeper into my wheelchair, raising my feet up and hugging my knees.
“It’s my medical opinion that Ella should be taken directly to my clinic to begin intensive therapy. There, we can establish a baseline sedation routine that allows her enough emotional freedom to explore her pain without causing further harm.”
“Sounds sensible,” my father said.
“I want her home,” Blaine argued.
What about what I want? I thought I’d screamed the words, but it must have been only in my head, as the debate raged on without me.
Finally, my mother settled the issue. “Bottom line, if any of us hope to get Ella back—not just as a sedated rag doll, but as the vibrant daughter and wife we miss, then she must go to the clinic. We have to allow the doctor space to begin life-saving treatment.”
&nb
sp; We were all back on the move.
Unseen hands rolled me to a place of their bidding—first, out of the airport and into a night cold enough for me to see my breath. Then, into a limo that rolled down miles of dark highway. My mother sat beside me, holding me, stroking my hair, stoking my internal fire. How could this be happening? Weren’t there laws against this sort of thing?
Since Liam clearly wasn’t rescuing me, how long would it be until the medication wore off and I could escape, rescuing myself?
—
I woke to a horrible headache.
When I tried raising my hand to rub my forehead, I discovered that my arms had been restrained. Panic set in, along with a steady increase of my pulse.
I tried moving my legs, only to find similar results.
My first instinct was to scream, but I remembered back to when this nightmare had started, and how each time I’d cried for help, all it got me was drugged. The mental veil had been enough to shut me up, but sadly, not enough to stop me from hurting, and from knowing I didn’t belong in this place.
My only prayer of salvation was escape.
Even if Liam tried to save me, how would he find me?
I had to be smart about this. I had to survey my surroundings. Gain trust. Wait for an opportunity. Then run.
Sunshine leered through towering paned windows, casting garish shadows past delicate, white wrought-iron filigreed caging. The ceiling was tall, too. Twelve, maybe even fifteen feet, embellished with whitewashed pressed tin. Warm, chestnut-toned wood flooring met walls covered in a subtle, flocked white-on-white floral. Though the building felt old to me—historically important—the furnishings were streamlined and modern. Boxy armchairs upholstered in faint pink cheery stripes. A long, low dresser crowned by a massive framed mirror into which I now peered.
Seeing myself as others saw me was humbling. No wonder they thought me mad—I looked the part. Hair tangled and eyes wide and wild, I wore a voluminous hospital gown and my skin looked pale. What kind of nuthouse was this? What shrink tied his patient to a bed, forcing her to look at herself? It was fucking barbaric.
I looked away, out the windows to a bucolic scene of trees and lawn and rolling hills beyond.
The door opened.
Startled, I looked that way to find a smiling woman dressed in pink scrubs. She was heavyset with a warm smile and wore red glasses that had ladybugs marching along the earpieces. “Good afternoon. You’re awake.”
My mouth was too dry to speak, so I just stared.
“Poor thing. The night nurse said you’ve had a tough time of it, but I bet today will be better.” With her back turned to me, I heard water pouring. She approached bearing a silver tumbler. “I’ll bet you’re thirsty. Want to take a drink?”
I nodded.
She set the cup on a nightstand. “You apparently got pretty wild, so they had to restrain you. That’s not the sort of thing the doctor enjoys, but it’s sometimes necessary for your own protection. If I release you, think you can behave?”
Again, I nodded.
“Good girl.” Once both of my hands were free, she rounded the bed to tackle the belt-like ties around my ankles. Once I was freed, she helped me sit up, then held the now sweating cup of ice water to my parched lips.
I drank it all. “More? Please.”
“You were thirsty.” She returned to the dresser, where a silver tray held a pitcher that matched my cup. “Hungry, too?”
“Yes,” I managed. My voice sounded hoarse.
“It’s three o’clock, kind of a meal dead zone around here, but I’ll see what I can scrounge up.” She handed me the refilled cup, testing me to see if I could hold it myself.
When I succeeded, she smiled and nodded.
“Where am I?” I asked.
“Longhurst. It’s a private clinic established by Dr. Carthage twenty years ago. I’ve only been here five of those years, but in that time, I’ve seen him facilitate remarkable changes. Trust me, you’re in good hands.”
I wanted to be held by Liam’s hands. But to do that, I had to get out of here. “That’s great, but the thing is, I shouldn’t be here at all. I was taken against my will. If you’d let me use a phone to call my fiancé, he’ll help straighten everything out.”
“Honey…” The nurse made a clucking noise. “How can you have a fiancé when you’re already married to one of the finest men I’ve ever met? That’s why you’re here. You’re not making sense, but the doc will help you decode all of this. He’ll clear those muddied waters in your head right up.”
My stomach churned.
Moments earlier, I’d felt rational and somewhat calm. Now, I stood on the precipice of hysteria. The only thing keeping me from leaping at the woman and patting her down for keys was the knowledge that if I showed the slightest hint of the crazy welling inside, they’d not only restrain me, but put me in a padded cell with a straightjacket.
“I’m off to find you something to eat. In the meantime…” She pointed to another door I hadn’t noticed. “Help yourself to a nice, hot shower. Fresh clothes are in the dresser. When you’re done, wander out to the rec area to meet some of the other ladies. We have a really super crew.”
Well, wasn’t that just super-duper.
I smiled.
She smiled.
It was all so very civilized.
Until she shut the door.
I bolted from my bed to charge to the nearest window. I’d hoped we were near a highway, so I could make a sign for help. No such luck. Beyond the redbrick clinic’s lawn there was only more nature. A sea of trees, rising and falling in gentle, wind-tossed waves. As if this room were my sinking life raft, I was adrift upon miles and miles of green.
All four windows were escape-proof, but even if I could have worked past the decorative bars, as best as I could tell from this angle, my room was at least six stories higher than I could jump. And even if I tied both sheets and the pillowcase together, that wouldn’t make a rope long enough for me to use to rappel.
I rummaged the drawers to find a lovely assortment of pale pink sweatpants, sweatshirts and T-shirts. I even had matching panties and bras. Was all of this pink supposed to be soothing? Like watered-down Pepto?
Fuck!
Liam, where are you? Why didn’t you fight? How could you have just stood there while Blaine dragged me away?
I wanted to crumple to the cool wood floor and cry. But I didn’t have that luxury.
A quick search of the bathroom showed only the basics. Soap, shampoo, conditioner and body lotion, all—big surprise—pink. Even the toothbrush was pink!
Everything else in the room was white. Subway-tile shower walls and mosaics with a white-on-white chevron pattern on the floor. The wallpaper was again flocked, but this time with stripes—white on white.
I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between this and Liam’s Palo Alto house. What did all of this white mean? He claimed the absence of color made his thoughts clearer. Was the good doctor going for the same vibe? If so, it wasn’t working. The sterile environment made me all the more antsy.
I showered and dried off with a thick, white towel.
I brushed my teeth and finger-combed my hair.
Oddly enough, there was no bathroom mirror. One more of the doctor’s head games?
Despite the sunshine still streaming in, the room was chilly. I hurried to dress in my pale new clothes, then added socks and the robe and slippers that had been so graciously provided.
I took my time creaking open the door, unsure of what I’d find.
I never expected a long, elegant hall that rivaled that of any hotel.
Soft classical music played, lending a dreamlike quality to soothing, pale blue walls that had been coated with swirls of thick plaster. A sumptuous navy runner covered the same wood floor that was in my room. Gape-worthy old-world oil paintings framed in gold hung between the doors.
At a granite-topped, octagonal counter with six computer monitors that I presumed to be a central
caregivers’ station, the nurse I’d met earlier sat typing. Another woman I assumed to be a nurse stood at a medicine cabinet. Still another nurse was on a landline phone. Would she notice if I ripped it from her hand, then cried into the handset for rescue?
“Look at you,” my nurse said with a bright smile. “Feel better? Your pre-dinner, post-lunch snack is on the way. We usually have a few extra meals in the fridge, but everyone’s hungry today.”
I gave her what was starting to feel like my standard nod, then said, “Thank you.”
She rose, gesturing for me to enter an elegant common area. “In all the excitement of our first meeting I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but I’m Alice.” She patted her photo-ID badge. “In here is where you’ll take snacks and have group sessions. There are games in the cabinets, as well as any sort of craft you might enjoy. The library is on the floor below us, but you’re not yet cleared for that level, so if you’d like a book, let me know which genre and I’ll have an orderly bring an assortment. We also have preloaded Kindles, if you prefer. Oh—and for music, we have headphones and iPads with Spotify, which is actually a whole lot of fun.”
iPads? Did that mean email access? Message boards?
“The doctor prefers no outside exposure for our Stage One guests, so I’m afraid your internet access is rather limited, but you are able to watch Netflix, and most major networks.”
The now familiar rush of panic rose again. I had to get to a phone.
“This is Ivy,” she said in front of a pale teen who looked dangerously thin. The girl occupied the end of a curved sofa that was closest to a wall of windows looking out on what I would ordinarily consider a beautiful Smoky Mountain view. She wielded knitting needles with jaw-dropping speed. Possible weapons? Wonder if we were allowed to play with them unsupervised? “Ivy plays a wicked game of checkers, so you’ll need to watch out for her.”
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