For a few pregnant seconds, she gawked, then her gaze turned fifty shades of pink before she ducked her hungry stare back behind her patient file. “You, sir, are trouble.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” She hadn’t done a good job of hiding her dimpled grin.
“Guess we’ll see. I’m off at eleven on Friday. Pick me up?” She seemed like a nice girl. Under any scenario in which my heart wasn’t already consumed by Ella, I would have at least bought her a consolation meal.
“Oh, hell yeah,” I lied. “Sounds like a good time—as long as you don’t go over budget.”
There she went again with her dimples. “You’re awful. Get out of here, and let me do my job.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I winked before rolling my cart toward the service room.
In a fortunate twist of fate for my plan, the other nurse on duty was occupied with a needy patient on the floor’s opposite hall.
I off-loaded the trays with as much clatter as possible to let Amanda know I was doing a conscientious job, then wheeled my cart out like I normally would.
“See you Friday,” I said with a wave when I passed the nurses’ station.
“If I don’t change my mind.”
I clutched my chest. “You’re killing me, Haines.”
Her dimples deepened.
Ella’s room was six doors down from my current location.
In front of her door, I checked to make sure Amanda hadn’t followed, then gave it a try to find it unlocked. I exhaled, but not for long, as I held my breath when it creaked open.
The building used to be an orphanage back in the day, and while the old dame had been restored, she still showed fine lines and wrinkles. Just my luck that Ella’s floor also creaked.
On my approach to the bed, my heart beat so loud I was afraid Amanda could hear it all the way back at the nurses’ station.
I crouched on the mattress’s edge, brazenly giving Ella’s shoulder a nudge. “Hey, gorgeous, it’s me. Wake up.”
She stirred, but it wasn’t a stretch to tell she was all doped up for the night. Hell, could she even walk?
Unable to take the risk if she couldn’t, I decided to use her lethargy to my advantage by easing my arms under her, then scooping her up.
For only a moment, her eyes bolted open.
My heart raged with the words don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t scream…
Would I make it through this without having a fucking heart attack?
When she continued staring as if unsure what to do, I smiled. “It’s just me, angel. Take a nap, and when you wake up, we’ll be home.”
She nodded and pressed a barely-there kiss to my shoulder. That kiss burned hot like a branding iron straight from a fire. If she hadn’t already been mine in my heart, she sure as hell was now. “Is this a dream?”
“Yep…” Emboldened by a combination of her sweetness and my primal attraction to her achingly familiar breath, I carried her from the room. Luckily, the hall was still empty, but voices carried from the nearby station.
“Is Winters in 648 or 638? I always forget.”
“No worries. Give me a sec and I’ll look it up.”
“Ready to go for a ride?” I whispered to Ella.
She was so out of it that when she nodded, she didn’t bother opening her eyes. But she did offer a faint smile, which was all the impetus I needed.
Hustling to my cart, I set her inside, on the stainless-steel base. Even her slight weight made it complain with an angry metallic buckle. The noise woke Ella, and she then peered up at me with her giant, druggie-anime eyes. I worried about her crashing hard when there were no more drugs to hold her in this state of suspended animation, but that was something I’d have to deal with later.
She couldn’t be comfortable with the back of her head wedged against the cart’s stainless-steel rack supports, but when I held my index finger to my lips and said, “Shh…” she grinned and nodded, mimicking my actions.
If my pulse didn’t slow, I’d fucking die before even escaping this floor.
“Holy crap, John!”
I’d just lowered the cart’s canvas side when Amanda rounded the corner with a medicine tray. “You scared the stuffing out of me. Why are you still here?”
“A, ah, wheel fell off the cart. Had to make an on-the-fly repair. Luckily, I’m good at manly shit like that.”
She smiled and shook her head. “I’ll just bet you are.”
I gave her a backwards wave, trying to keep it casual, the whole time praying Ella didn’t pop her head out to join the conversation. “See you Friday.” I waved my pass card over the door sensor, then spun to face her, dragging the cart out instead of pushing. “Wear your hair down.”
She was so busy working her dimples that she didn’t even notice when Ella’s limp hand fell out from under the canvas.
Once the doors closed, I knelt to check on her. Thank fucking God, she’d descended back into a deep sleep.
The elevator down shaved a year from my life.
The endless trek through the lobby and past the guard station conservatively took another six. After all my worrying, could this really be so easy?
Then, Mathis, the night guard, called out, “When did you join the rest of us on the graveyard shift? Aren’t you usually leaving when I’m coming in?”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t turn down the extra buck an hour, so I figured what the hell. Who needs sleep, right?” Please, Ella, don’t move an inch.
“I hear ya.” He yawned. “But then, the wife and I just had a baby. I figure I get more sleep nodding off here than my poor wife does all night, you know?”
Keep it casual. As long as you don’t tip him off, he’ll never suspect a thing. “I don’t have kids, but I can only imagine. How old’s your baby?”
“Two months. Her name’s Nancy Grace on account of my wife having a thing for that lawyer news lady. Ever catch her show?”
“Sure,” my lies rolled like tumbleweed, “every once in a while if football’s not on.”
“Well, anyway…” He left his station. “Let me show you a few pics. My baby angel’s a looker.”
I bolted from the cart to meet him. “Great. Let me see. All my family’s up in Ohio.”
“Oh yeah? What brought you over here?”
“A girl.” For the first time that night, I told the truth.
“Same with me. Three years later, we’re still going strong. How about you?”
I laughed, hoping I didn’t sound even half as hysterical as I felt. “Jury’s still out.”
“Aw, you seem like a nice enough guy. I’m sure she’ll come around.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate the vote of confidence.” I gestured toward his wallet. “Come on and show me those pics. The suspense is killing me.”
Twenty never-ending minutes later, his desk phone rang.
“I’ve got to get that, but it was good talking with you.”
“Likewise.” I wiped my sweating palm on my thigh before meeting his outstretched hand for a shake.
After parking my cart in a kitchen supply room, I double-checked that Yancy wasn’t anywhere near the delivery door, then hefted Ella out of her hiding spot and back into my arms.
By the time I got her strapped into the passenger side of my ride, the general alarm had sounded. I was watching in the rearview when my pal Mathis must have flipped on the exterior floods. I’d hoped to have more time before anyone noticed Ella was gone, but since I hadn’t been that fortunate, I substituted speed for luck.
Carol and I had mapped out a back-road route to St. Louis. From there, I planned on using a set of brand-new fake IDs to hop a flight to Chicago. I’d wanted to then head to my place on Lake Como, but realized that would be a stupid move when Liam was supposedly back in Palo Alto.
Carol was working on Plan B.
About an hour outside of the clinic, Ella peacefully slept, and for the first time since she’d been snatched right out from under me back at the beach, I could breathe.
I turned on the stereo—not all that surprised to catch the tail end of Kansas’s “Point of Know Return.” I didn’t have to ask “how long,” because I was there. Either Ella and I lived happily ever after or this was a crash-and-burn mission and I’d eventually end up behind bars.
Not only didn’t I care, but embraced the wild ride by upping the volume.
I smiled, resting my palm possessively on her hip.
Bam! Take that, Blaine. Who’s calling the shots now?
—
So much for my grand plans.
God, I felt like an idiot. In all my scheming to free Ella from that place, the one thing I hadn’t considered was what happened when her drug cocktail ran dry. She’d been fine for the first twenty-four hours. We’d made it through St. Louis airport security with me explaining that she was so afraid of flying that she’d popped one too many Xanax.
Carol had arranged for a charter out of Chicago to the Seychelles, where we’d board a private yacht, but Ella had been so sick I didn’t even try making that flight. Instead, I booked a room at the O’Hare Hilton and settled in for what I could only guess would be a rough few days.
At two a.m., I sat with her on the bathroom floor. Even though I’d wrapped her in the blanket from the bed, she shivered uncontrollably. She still didn’t seem lucid, so I had Carol find a doctor who knew how to be discreet about administering still more drugs to ease her trip down.
John Smith from the clinic had no doubt been caught on security cameras, which was why he was now dead, and Jack Jones had been born. Jessica was his smokin’-hot wife.
Carol reported that Nathan was more concerned than ever about Ella’s well-being and threatening to call the cops. To shut him the fuck up, I told Carol to invite him along for our next ride. He’d see for himself that I had Ella’s best interests at heart.
By six a.m., I was still on the bathroom floor with my legs outstretched and Ella between them, resting her head on my chest. She’d been asleep in my arms for an hour, and I prayed that meant the worst of her withdrawal had passed.
Two hours later, I’d nodded off when she stirred against me.
“Hey,” I said.
She sat up, then angled to face me, leaning slightly back as if allowing her eyes to focus. “Liam?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Did she have any idea how my heart swelled in relief that she not just was okay, but once again knew my name? “You gave me one hell of a scare. I didn’t think you were ever coming down from whatever they gave you.”
She moaned, then clutched her stomach before reaching back around for the toilet. Dry heaves left her crying and shivering.
I wet a washcloth and pressed it to her forehead.
“H-help me…”
“I’m trying, babe.”
“I-I’m so…sick…” I couldn’t tell if she struggled for air from tears or more heaving.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I wrapped the blanket back around her shoulders, washed her face, then drew her limp frame against me, smoothing her hair. “Hold on a little while longer and you’re going to feel better.”
“Thank you.” She snuggled closer. “I assume it was you who got me out of there?”
“Uh-huh…” The fact swelled my chest with pride.
“Where are we?”
A jet roared overhead. The deep rumbling shook the hotel like a minor earthquake. “O’Hare. But the second you’re able, we’re hopping a flight to paradise. I figure after what you’ve been through, you deserve a break.”
I was excited to see her reaction but would have to wait, as she’d drifted off to sleep. I carried her to the bed, gently covering her with the downy-soft fleece blanket I’d had Carol find.
Hours passed.
I tried working on my laptop, but I couldn’t focus.
By the time Ella woke again, morning had turned into late afternoon.
“Liam?”
I looked up from a report to find her trying to raise her head. “I’m here.” I climbed into bed alongside her, afraid of the upwelling of emotion tightening my chest. There was so much I wanted to say—had planned to say—but I’d lost it all. Her sad, fragile beauty rendered me mute.
“Y-your hair…” With her hand trembling, she reached out to stroke my buzz cut. “You look even more handsome than I remember. But hard…” Her words caught on a heart-wrenching sob. “I was so afraid.” Even her voice sounded pushed beyond exhaustion.
“Did that bastard hurt you?”
She shook her head. “Except for in my head. I remember being confused. But you were always there…Only, you weren’t. That hurt, too.”
“I’m sorry. The day he took you, everything happened so fast. I thought I could just snatch you back, but I was outmanned. I did everything wrong. I should have kept my cool, and—”
“I felt so violated.” She stared at me, her blueberry eyes welling with tears she seemed too exhausted to cry. “I needed you.”
“I know.” She was killing me. “I’m sorry. I got inside the clinic with you as soon as I could, and I’m here now, okay? I always will be.”
“Stop. We both know that’s a lie—you don’t mean it to be, but it is.”
I closed my eyes, struggling for logic. For air. The image I carried of myself was of this larger-than-life superhero type. Before meeting her, I’d been Captain Money—able to crush any obstacle by flinging large-denomination bills. But in this situation, my cash had been useless. Sure—it had certainly subsidized Ella’s eventual rescue, but in the heat of the moment, when she’d cried out for my help, I hadn’t been there for her. She knew it. I knew it. At the most basic level a man could serve a woman, when Blaine snatched her right in front of me, I’d failed her.
Would she forgive me?
Maybe the bigger question was could I forgive myself?
22
Ella
I drifted back and forth between states of consciousness, between knowing that Liam was real and wondering if he was a gossamer-coated dream. I didn’t know how long I’d been trapped in that place. It could have been months or maybe years. But now, in this moment, held safely in the bowl of Liam’s warm spoon, I was safe.
But for how long?
I might be free now, but Blaine was still out there.
More important, the world—including my parents—still believed I was the crazy one. My escape only upped my freak factor.
“Are you awake?” I asked Liam, unsure how long either of us had been out. Diffused sunlight still shone from beneath the room’s curtains, so it couldn’t be that late.
“Yes…” He stroked my forearm and kissed the top of my head.
“Good. We need to talk.” I scooted out of bed.
“Christ, Ella…” With his hands over his eyes, Liam groaned. “Is this the part where you tell me we’re through?”
“Seriously? Don’t be dumb.” Legs wobbly, I held on to the bed to get around to his side. I took his hand. “This is the part when I want to be facing you while coming one hundred percent clean.” Together, we walked to the room’s love seat.
“You’re making me nervous.”
“You probably should be,” I said with a hard-won smile. When we were both seated, me sideways, with my legs stretched across his lap, I forced a deep breath. “One part of this nightmare was in some ways probably a good thing.”
“Sure you’re not still high?”
I returned his faint grin and shook my head. “I might be. But…” I reached for his hand, easing my fingers between his, forcing my breathing to slow. “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again. In my mind, I’d given up hope to the point that I could no longer be sure where reality left off and fantasy began. I remember just sitting and staring, but nothing made sense. The questions the doctor raised in therapy were…” My voice caught. I wanted to tell all, but the admissions were too painful to share—even with a man I loved as much as Liam. What if he thought less of me? What would he think about me losing the baby? And the rape? I’d worke
d so hard to forget all of it, but now, drug-free, the memories returned, only with sharper edges. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard my baby cry and saw the face of the stranger who’d violated me. It wasn’t my husband, but I clearly remembered that Blaine had been there. And there had been cameras—big ones, like those used in a TV studio, only in our home.
Liam squeezed my hand. “Babe, stop. You don’t ever have to say another word—unless you want to. I’m the one who should be explaining.” He shook his head. “After Blaine took you, I was out of my mind. I followed you to the airport, but kept my distance, biding my time. I bribed a counter agent to tell me your flight. I bought tickets for me and all five guys on my security team—just in case we couldn’t get you out in time. I thought that if you’d seen me on your flight, at least you would know I’d never left you alone.” He bowed his head and sighed. “Someone—Blaine or one his minions—must have given TSA a heads-up, because they restrained me before I could even get to you.”
I covered my mouth with my hands. “What happened then?”
“I shouldn’t have fought back, but I was desperate to get to you. I lashed out at anyone moving, but there were too many for me to fight my way past. My security team scattered. TSA agents pushed me to the floor, and that was that. I was stuck in a cell for damn near a week before Garrett got me released on bail. I felt so helpless. Thank God for Carol and Garrett. They—”
“Wait—are you still out on bail? Because weren’t you facing a court date for what happened with the detective? I thought you couldn’t leave the state?”
His silence knotted my stomach. “Liam…you have to go back.”
“I will.” He stroked my palm with his thumb. “But I want you safely in hiding first. Carol found us a yacht moored in the Seychelles. You’re going to love it. We’ll go there together and get you set up. Once I know you’re okay, I’ll head back to California to clear my legal troubles, then we’ll never be apart again.”
“Please know I mean this with love, but if you think that’s possible, you’re a fool. Blaine—my parents—now that they know who I’m with, they’ll never stop. I might be free at this moment, but until the world knows Blaine for the monster I know him to be, I might as well still be locked in that clinic, because he’s in here.” I tapped my temple. “I have to stop him. If the two of us are ever going to have the peace we’ve dreamt of, that’s the only way. Will you help?”
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