And the Carmichaels weren't above killing. Hell, neither were the Holloways.
"If anything happens, we'll be the first to find out."
I sighed, "And we'll be a long way off."
"Not too long. Only ten more hours."
"Are you going to drive the whole time?"
"Yes," my cousin replied, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter.
"I can drive you know."
"If you get behind that wheel, there's no guarantee you won't take us back into Chicago."
He was right. The closer we got to New York, the more desperate I grew to turn around. I'd already said goodbye to everyone. I'd shed my past, and my new identity suited me well enough. I'd come just close to adjusting. Even the slim hope of seeing Richard again wasn't enough to stir me. If I could be sure our family feud would be over, then maybe I would feel something besides unfettered terror.
Donnie drove without showing signs of exhaustion. When we were halfway across Pennsylvania, his phone rang and he connected it through the Bluetooth so it played out loud in the car. I kept quiet, unwilling to let anyone know back East that I was still alive. That news would come to them soon enough.
"Hello?"
"Donnie? I need you at Mt. Sinai."
"I'm not in the state Aunty Gail."
My mother's voice. Hearing her voice pooled tears in my eyes.
"Where are you then?"
"Pennsylvania. About four hours out."
"Four hours? Donnie, it's late for you to be on the road."
"I promise, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"I won't be leaving the hospital."
"Are you sick?"
"No. Something has happened. I don't want to discuss private matters over the phone. I'll be waiting for you. Don't be too late."
My mother hung up. I exhaled a sigh of relief.
"What does she mean?" I asked.
"No clue. But knowing your mother, it's something terrible for her to call."
"She was always so cryptic," I smiled.
Those four hours inched by slowly. Donnie and I grew more comfortable with each other as we got closer to New York. My heart throbbed in my chest and the lump in my throat expanded like a wet sponge. Once we hit Manhattan traffic, I could barely speak to Donnie anymore.
"Relax."
"Easy for you to say."
"I promise, Indie, everything will be fine."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just am..."
"It's hard for me to trust anyone in this family any more."
"Trust yourself. You're a survivor Indie. And you've given us enough. If after all this is over you want to move away and never see any of us again, we would deserve it."
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"What I want is incompatible with being a Holloway."
"So you worry about being a traitor?"
"It's not who I am."
"You're right. It isn't. Living for yourself doesn't make you a traitor."
"Not everyone in our family would agree."
"Then screw them. You can live for yourself, Indie... It's okay."
When we arrived at the hospital, my mother's driver sat out front, smoking a Marlboro. My hands grew sweaty and I thrust them into my pockets as I entered the hospital with Donnie. He whispered to a nurse who nodded and ushered us to a private wing of the hospital.
"Do you think something happened to her?" I whispered as we entered the hospital wing.
Donnie shook his head, "I don't think so. Her driver's outside."
"Then what is it..."
"Indie?" My mother's voice pierced across the hallway and the scent of her Elizabeth Taylor perfume wafted down the hallway.
"Yes mama... It's me..."
"I knew it," she whispered.
I couldn't hold back anymore. I rushed to my mother and allowed her to put her arms around me. She clutched me tightly, pressing her face into me and inhaling sharply.
"You're alive..." she whispered.
"Yes mama. I came back."
She reached for the top of my head and wordlessly rubbed her hands across my buzzcut.
"My beautiful daughter..." she whispered.l
When she could finally wrench herself away from me, I saw tears in her eyes. This was the first time I'd seen my mother cry.
"Come here, we need to talk."
"Why am I here? What happened?"
Donnie followed us towards the door.
"I shot somebody," my mother said.
My heart sank. Had my mother laid waste to another Carmichael? Or worse, had she shot someone else. I didn't know what I would find when I pushed the door to the hospital room open.
I exhaled sharply as I saw Jamal lying in bed, asleep or unconscious, with thick white bandages plastered around his arms. In the other corner of the room, Rich sat on a chair, his head in his hands. When I entered the room he looked up at me and I gasped.
Overwhelmed by the information presenting itself to me, I mumbled, "I'm going to be sick..."
I rushed out of the room towards the bathroom I'd seen in the hallway on the way in and emptied my guts. I heaved over the toilet bowl and my nauseous retching gave way to full sobs.
My mother entered the bathroom and rubbed my back.
"There there, child. You don't have to be afraid."
I choked back another sob and my mother continued to rub my back as she helped me back to my feet. I wrapped her in a hug and she stroked my head.
"What happened mama?" I croaked through my sobbing.
"I shot your brother," she said matter-of-factly, "and now this feud with the Carmichaels is over. Forever. I know about you and Richard."
I pulled away from her and wiped my eyes.
"What about me and Richard?'
"Don't play dumb with me child..."
"Mama..."
"I'm not mad. You have a right to love who you love. I'm sorry we kept you away from him. I hate to think that --"
My mother choked up again.
"I hate to think that we might have lost you forever over something so petty."
"Mama... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left the way I did."
"Why did you do it?"
"Will Harkness."
"Did he--"
"No. He didn't. Jamal set me up. I feared for my life."
"Jamal... How did I make so many mistakes with him?"
"Don't beat yourself up mama."
"He won't put this fighting aside so easily," she whispered, glancing at the door to his room.
"I know."
"Then you should leave. Leave New York. We'll tell everyone there's been a mistake. I'll give you the money. You should go."
"Go where? I belong with you."
My mother smirked, "Why don't you see if young Richard has some ideas."
She chuckled and I couldn't help but do the same.
"We haven't spoken in months."
"Something tells me that white boy would die for you," my mother replied with a wink.
I nodded and agreed that I should talk to him. My mother walked me to my brother's room again and I went inside, which prompted Donnie to leave. I guess he wasn't so trusting as to leave Rich alone with my brother the way my mother had.
"Indie..."
"I know," I replied, "My hair's different."
"Not that. I never thought I'd see you again."
He stretched his arms out and I raced into them, wrapping my arms tightly around him and pressing my head into his chest. He clutched my head close to him and kissed the top of it.
"I'm here."
Rich was different. He was still attractive, tall and his eyes were still that gorgeous shade of blue. His beard was longer, as was his hair, but I liked those features on him and I appreciated his deep tanned skin. He must have returned recently.
"My mother thinks I should leave New York," I announced once I pulled away.
"Leave New York?"
I nodded.<
br />
"Where would you go?" He asked.
"I don't know. She thinks you might have some idea."
"Your mother?"
I nodded.
He chuckled, "No way. A Holloway and a Carmichael together?"
"Sounds crazy, doesn't it?"
"It just might work, though," he replied.
"It just might."
I rushed into his arms again and kissed him.
"We could go to Italy," he suggested.
"Or France," I added.
"Perhaps Fiji?"
"Now there's an idea."
"How soon can you be ready," he teased.
"As soon as you're ready to go."
He kissed me again and pulled away.
"Listen, Indie, I never got to tell you this but --"
"I love you," I blurted out.
"Yes," he replied, "I love you. That's exactly what I was going to say."
"You know us Holloways," I teased, "We can't ever let a Carmichael win."
Although it might have been "too soon", we both laughed and he thrust his hand in mine.
"Say goodbye to your brother then. If you wish, we'll leave tonight."
"I'd like that..."
He let go of my hand and left me to say a painful goodbye to my brother, Jamal. I didn't have much to say to him, but it helped that he was unconscious. I said goodbye to the man I knew, to the boy I'd grown up with and to the business partner who had supported me since college. I kissed my brother's forehead and left the hospital with Rich.
My goodbye to my mother and Donnie was too soon, but they both agreed our departure was the safest move. I left with Rich to his hotel for one last night in New York before forever...
# # END # #
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Afterword
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