by Lauren Salem
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” I responded, hoping that she’d ask me to hook up with her.
“Why do men cheat?”
OK, maybe she wasn’t ready yet…I could wait. “I don’t know, honestly…I’ve never cheated on anyone before.”
“Vincent, you’re such a good friend for listening to me sob like this while everyone else is out watching the band play. I’m sorry I made you miss it…I feel bad.”
Oh no! The friend zone…once I was put in the friend zone, she would never want to hook up with me. Somehow I had to show her my intentions without being too forward. I moved right next to her and gave her a hug. “I’ll always be here for you whenever you need me,” I whispered into her ear. “Don’t feel sorry; I’d rather be here with you.”
“He never visited me in rehab because he was with her! This whole time…ooooo…I could just run over him with my car, put that shit in reverse, and run over him again!”
“Don’t worry; he’ll get what’s coming to him.”
“He just makes me so angry—”
I went in for the kiss, and she looked shocked when our lips met. It seemed awkward, so I backed away, embarrassed. Bad timing was the worst…Why did I do that? She gave me the deer in the headlights face…That couldn’t be good. “I’m sorry. I better go,” I said, getting up. As I started to walk away, she grabbed my hand.
“Wait. Don’t go.”
I turned to face her and silence became the loudest sound in the room as we gazed into each other’s eyes. My heart pounded, and my palms became sweaty from the realization that she could be my first. I hope she didn’t notice my inexperience…Maybe I should have done a few practice rounds before attempting to pleasure her. Stop talking to yourself! She likes you; just be in the moment. “Are you sure you’re OK with this?” I asked.
She reclined on the bed, pulling me toward her, and I fell onto her body where I returned to first base. “I’m OK with it for now,” she responded as she wrapped her legs around me.
What did that mean: she was ‘OK with it for now?’ If I did her now, was she planning on being upset about it later? Who cared why she suddenly wanted me now, all that mattered was that she wanted me, so I wasn’t going to ruin this night by over-analyzing her motives. I kissed her passionately as I reached my hand under her blouse and squeezed her breast. Second base…Now let’s try to make this a home run. I knew Kat was an experienced girl because I used to watch her fuck Drake, who was her first. I wasn’t sure how I would impress Kat, so I stole some of Drake’s moves to keep her excited. This was hands down the best night of my life, but unfortunately, Kat didn’t feel the same.
Kat: Last nte was a mistake…I was about BF <3 so hope you dnt get the wrong idea. IDK what I was thinking. Want 2 stay BFFs w/ u. SRY
Me: IDTS
Kat: dont want things 2 b awkward between us
Me: IYQ…a lot 4 LT. U were dating Drake so I nvr asked you out…wish I did. IU if u dont <333 me right now, but I eventually want 2 b more than just BFFs.
Kat: Maybe…
Two months later, Kat and I were an official couple, but sadly the relationship only lasted two weeks. It ended when she saw the camera feed of her house on my computer. I would never let anyone in my room unsupervised, especially Kat. She came over one day by surprise, and my mom told her to wait in my room. I was in the shower. When I got out, I saw Kat was about to destroy my computer with a cup of coffee. The only way to save my computer before it drowned in hazelnut coffee and to save my secret as the unofficial neighborhood watchman was to make a deal with her. She made me take down all the cameras in her house, so I couldn’t watch her anymore, but I would still owe her another favor.
Chapter 11: Laura
Instead of eating lunch with the boys in the cafeteria, I decided to eat lunch outside. I was hoping to get a little privacy, which was a scarce commodity in Walnut Cherryville. Everywhere I turned, there was always an ugly, orange jumpsuit in sight. Today for lunch, the cafeteria served turkey sandwiches with chips and an apple. After I served myself, I left the glass building to find a remote place to eat lunch. Nowhere was really that remote, so I settled for a spot next to the glass building with a nice view of the village. It was interesting how a village so diverse with unique architecture made their citizens wear such ugly clothing. Bright orange was the color of criminals and construction sites. No one in their right mind would wear that color. I associated the jumpsuits with criminals, farmers, and factory workers. Maybe the Walnut Cherryville executives enforced everyone to wear jumpsuits because farmers and factory workers were exactly who we were in this place. There was nothing drearier than Walnut Cherryville’s lack of fashion and self-expression. Even the Walnut Cherryville logo was bland. Because everyone wore the same uniform, with the exception of guards and doctors, the citizens here lost their identities and became just another number.
I reached into my breast pocket and took out a pen and paper (the paper I used to write the list of items I needed to steal from the medical wing). On the blank side, I started to sketch a woman who wore leggings under a pleated miniskirt and a vest over a close-fitting, long-sleeve undershirt. Since I didn’t have any coloring materials with me, I imagined that the vest and the skirt would be in colors that contrasted with the undershirt and leggings. The undershirt and leggings would be available in light colors, like pastel versions of pink, lavender, blue, yellow, and green to reflect the sun and keep the woman cool while she worked. The vest and pleated miniskirt might come in earthy colors like cloud white, ocean blue, forest green, or tree-bark brown. In a village where everyone had to wear a uniform, they should be able to mix and match these colors and be as crazy as they want. Vests with patterns on them would also be trendy as well. The outfit was appealing because it showcased the woman without revealing skin, which was a great idea for a fashionable version of the Walnut Cherryville uniform. They could even embroider a Walnut Cherryville logo and all that other information they put on the uniforms on the breast pocket of the vest.
“May I join you?” Johnny said.
“How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“I always eat outside for lunch,” Johnny replied. “You’re sitting in my usual spot.”
“I’m sorry; do you want me to move?”
“No, it’s OK,” Johnny said as he sat down next to me. “The air is just as fresh no matter where you sit out here. After being cooped up in a laundry room all day, I could really use the fresh air. You’re lucky you get to work outside.”
I chuckled.
“What’s that?” Johnny said while looking over my shoulder.
“Oh, it’s just a drawing,” I said before I folded it up and placed the paper back into my breast pocket.
“It looks nice.”
“Thank you.”
“So I hear Vincent found a match.”
“Really, who?”
“Darnell and Collins.”
I laughed. “This just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it? Are you serious? Collins couldn’t keep himself out of trouble for two days; he’ll blow our cover.”
“Well, you’ve got to believe in him; he’s our only choice,” Johnny said. “I’ve known Collins for a long time, and he’s not a royal screw up all the time. I think he’s just stressed, so if we can get him to calm down, I think he can do it.”
“Stressed…we’re all stressed. We’ll be even more stressed if our plan doesn’t work.”
“We’ll be dead if our plan doesn’t work. Death by someone who plays with his food before he kills it in the electric chair.”
Workers started pouring out of the glass building.
“Must be time to go back to work,” I said as I got up.
“I can take your tray and trash back inside for you, since it’s on my way back to work,” Johnny offered.
“OK, thanks, catch you later.”
I walked back into the forest and searched for a secluded spot where I couldn�
�t see anybody watching. When the coast was clear, I rolled up my sleeve and rubbed my arm against the tree until it started bleeding. Since I couldn’t remember exactly where the medical wing was located, I pushed the red button. Within several minutes, the white coats found me in the forest and escorted me out. The medical wing was located on the first floor of the glass building. How stupid was I not to notice it before? The white coats took me to a small examination room that had white walls and mostly white furniture.
“Wait in here,” a woman said. “The doctor will be in shortly.” She closed the door.
While I was waiting, I searched the countertops and cabinets. I needed tweezers, mosquito repellent, sanitation wipes, a first-aid kit, or at least Band-Aids, antiseptic cream, adhesive tape, and some elastic bandage. I found individually wrapped sanitation wipes in a jar on the countertop, so I grabbed a handful of those and stuffed them into my bra. I didn’t have time to look much further because I heard footsteps in the hallway, nearing my room. I quickly closed up my uniform and sat on the patient’s bed before the doctor entered.
“Laura, you’re back,” the doctor said. “What brings you in today?” He set his clipboard down on the counter and put on latex gloves.
“I got scratched pretty badly by a tree. I think I might have gotten a splinter or two.”
He held my arm and examined the scratches. “I can’t see any splinters, but let me get my magnifying glass and some tweezers. I’ll be right back.”
He left the room for a brief moment, about two minutes, which wasn’t enough time for me to continue raiding the room. When he came back, he looked at my arm under the magnifying glass and took out two splinters. I washed the scratches with cold water before he cleaned it with a sanitation wipe. That stung pretty bad…ouch.
“I don’t have a Band-Aid this big, so I’m just going to wrap it up with some elastic bandage after I apply the antiseptic cream,” the doctor said.
Finding these items couldn’t be easier, so hopefully it was as easy to steal them as it was to find them. After the doctor applied the antiseptic cream, wrapped my arm in elastic bandage, and taped it secure, he put all the items on the counter. Dammit…I still needed mosquito repellent.
“OK, you’re all set, Laura,” the doctor said. “Be careful when you go back to work.”
“I have a question,” I said right as the doctor was about to leave. “Since I have HIV, shouldn’t I have something to protect me against mosquito bites? If a mosquito bites me and then bites someone else, wouldn’t they contract my disease?”
“No, that can’t happen because when an insect bites a person, it does not inject its own, or a previously bitten person’s blood, into the next person bitten. It actually injects saliva that acts as a lubricant, so the insect can feed efficiently,” the doctor replied.
“What if someone smashed a mosquito that has bitten me, and the blood got on their skin?”
“HIV lives for only a short time inside an insect, and, unlike diseases that are transmitted through insect bites, HIV does not reproduce, so it does not survive in insects. If you are worried about mosquito bites, I suggest you keep your sleeves down. Your uniform will protect you against bug bites if you wear it correctly. Do you have any further questions?”
“No,” I said, feeling defeated. Stupid doctor, just give me some bug spray!
“OK, then I’ll show you the way out.”
“Could I spend a few minutes in here?” I asked. “It’s so hot outside, and I feel weak from heat exhaustion.”
“You can stay in here for five minutes,” the doctor said. “I will send someone in to get you when the time is up. Sorry to rush you, but this room needs to be sterilized before someone else uses it. We only have five examination rooms, and sometimes that’s not enough.”
“I understand,” I said. “Thanks for your help.”
When the doctor left the room, I gathered up the remaining supplies and hid them in my panties, except for the tweezers, which went into my bra with the wipes. I failed at getting the bug repellent, but at least I got everything else.
After my five minutes were up, a white coat escorted me out of the medical wing. I walked like a penguin, trying not to make any sudden movements that would knock the supplies in my panties out of place. When I got to my room, I grabbed a biohazard bag and went to the restroom. Everything I collected got put in a doubled biohazard bag, so the cameras couldn’t see what it was. Before returning to work, I nestled the medical supplies inside my sleeping bag. One job down, one to go. Pretending to seduce a truck driver was not a job I was looking forward to. This would be the last time I did anything like that. When I escaped from Walnut Cherryville, I was going to change my life and never seduce anybody for anything ever again. I was going to find something I was good at and learn how to support myself without a man. I hoped that one day my family could forgive me for what I had done.
* * *
After a year of attending Sonoran Correctional, I wanted to go back home. Despite how angry my parents were at me, I still missed seeing everyone, the privacy of my own room, eating my dad’s pizza, and shopping with my mom. The school had a strict policy that didn’t allow students to leave the school without an adult supervisor. Students always had the option to visit with their families on weekends as long as the student’s guardian notified the school, picked them up, and dropped them back at school no later than nine o’clock at night on Sunday.
I tried to keep in contact with my parents, but it was difficult. Every month I wrote them a letter telling them about my classes and asking them when I could come home to visit, but they never wrote back. I would have called, but students were allowed only one ten-minute phone call per month, unless it was an emergency. The line at the telephone booth was always really long. During holidays, the school closed for two full days, so all the students had to leave and go home. When Thanksgiving came, I had nowhere to go. My parents didn’t even bother to come pick me up until a school administrator forced them to take me home.
“How come you guys didn’t respond to any of the letters I wrote you every month?” I asked my parents as they drove me home.
“I’m sorry, Laura, I was just really busy with the restaurant,” Dad responded. “I’ve been working double shifts, trying to keep up with the demand.”
“I was at the spa,” Mom added.
It was Thanksgiving Day, and my parents had invited thirty relatives and family friends over for dinner. I spent most of the day cleaning the house while Dad cooked and Mom set up the dining areas. The doorbell rang, and the first guest had arrived. I rushed over to get the door, but Mom stopped me.
“Laura, you look a mess, why don’t you stay in your room until everybody has left,” she said.
“Why do I have to stay upstairs when everyone is going to be down here celebrating?”
“It really would be too shocking for the family to see you here tonight, since no one was expecting you’d be home for Thanksgiving.”
I wanted to give my family and friends a shocking lovely surprise welcome, but Mom wanted me out of the picture. “Oh,” I sighed as I slowly climbed the steps.
“Laura, try to keep your legs closed tonight. If you’re a good girl, we’ll send you up a plate of food later.”
I went upstairs, locked myself in my room, and watched the guests park their cars from my bedroom window. I occasionally listened to the chitter chatter of my family downstairs, and it was as if I never existed. No one mentioned a word about me, wondered where I was, or asked when I’d come home. To try to forget about this dreadful holiday, I distracted myself by watching Titanic on my computer. When the movie finished, I went to the bathroom where I noticed a familiar envelope in the trash. It was the letter I wrote to my parents a week before Thanksgiving, thrown away in the trash, never even opened! I was so sad and angry, and I realized that all they wanted was for me, their whorish daughter, to be out of their lives. I disgraced the family, but no parent should shun their child like this when
she did something wrong. I grabbed the letter out of the trash and marched downstairs.
The guests were certainly surprised to see me. Whispers filled the room, and I could feel everyone talking about me.
“I can’t believe you’d throw my letters away without even reading them!” I cried.
My mom tried to keep her composure and whispered to me, “This behavior is inappropriate.”
I pushed her aside, threw the letter on the floor, and stormed out the front door. There was an unopened box of tissues waiting for me on the porch with a yellow sticky note attached that read “Laura, don’t cry about the things you’ve done wrong, only the things you’ve done right. Happy Thanksgiving.” I had no idea who this was from. What a bizarre statement. Who would say something like that? I walked out onto the barren street of Hillsdale Court and looked for life, but no one was there. While everyone was inside their homes with their families, being thankful for what they had, I sat on the curbside alone, with a box of tissues, analyzing a note from a stranger.
* * *
When work was over, my supervisor finally gave me a shower coin. My excitement surprised my supervisor, who said I acted like I just found a pot of gold. I ran as fast as I could to the glass building, nearly ripping my uniform off on the way. My top was open, flashing my dirty bra to everyone I passed, including Kenneth.
“Stop right there,” Kenneth said. “You can’t walk around like that! Close your uniform up.”
“No!” I said, jumping in front of Kenneth. “I just earned a shower coin!” I held it up enthusiastically and shimmied around Kenneth, who stood like a stiff brick wall. “I earned it, I earned it! I finally earned a shower coin,” I sang.
“Congratulations,” Kenneth said before he grabbed me by my uniform and buttoned it up. His emerald green eyes peered into mine for a silent moment. “Please keep this on until you reach the restroom, OK?”