by Winters, KB
Jax had jabbered on and on through dinner, regaling Jace with stories of magic and the animals he’d seen at the zoo the weekend before, and his favorite TV shows. Jace and I hadn’t been able to get a word in, and as we sat together in the suddenly silent living room, we both took a beat to absorb the peace.
Jace turned his body to face me as he reclined against the arm of the couch. “I believe I was promised a beer,” he said with a lazy smile. I started to get up from the couch, but he held out a hand, “No, no. You relax. Just tell me where ya keep the good stuff.”
“In the left crisper drawer,” I said, smiling at the silly confession.
“Got it.”
I watched as he walked into the kitchen, unable to keep my eyes from admiring the way his jeans were just tight enough to hug his ass, accentuating it’s perfection. I silently mourned that I hadn’t let myself more thoroughly explore his ridiculously hot body before declaring the space between us to be the accursed “friend zone”.
As we’d been in the kitchen cooking, and over the course of dinner, we somehow managed to find small ways to touch each other—whether on purpose or mistake—I wasn’t sure—a small bump of elbows, touching of fingers or grazing of knuckles, all small, but powerful enough to get my body on red alert, aware of his every movement and expression. His blue eyes were always watching me, deeper and darker with a look that told me all I had to do was say the word, and he’d do wonderfully sinful things to me all night long.
I sighed and flopped back against the couch. If only…
Jace appeared moments later and held out a cold bottle of beer for me. He took his place next to me, reaching over for a moment, to clang his bottle on the side of mine. “Bottom’s up.”
I giggled and took a deep pull. “Thanks. I think I earned that.”
“No joke. I don’t know how you do all that by yourself every night,” Jace said, his voice dead serious. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jax is incredible—” he said with a smile of affection, “—it’s just a lot for one person.”
“It is.” I nodded. “What about you?” I asked, rolling my head against the back of the couch to look at him. “You think you want one of those someday?”
“I hope so,” Jace answered. “It’s not something I think about often, but it’s been coming back to me more and more lately. In the past, it wasn’t an option, and I guess somewhere along the way, I started thinking it wouldn’t ever be an option.”
“Why wouldn’t it have been an option?” I wondered if he’d been in a relationship where the woman didn’t want kids, or hadn’t been able to have kids. I knew nothing about his relationship past.
Jace took a long drink from his beer. “I enlisted with the Navy when I was seventeen, went to boot camp right out of high school, and built my career, working through the ranks, until I reached my goal. To be a SEAL. That was my whole life, you know? I didn’t leave room for anything else.”
The way he spoke was distant, almost clinical, and it was painfully obvious that much of what he was thinking and feeling remained buried. But, I knew it wasn’t my place to pry. He had a past, so did I. Although I had no earthly idea what was happening between us, I knew that over time, we would find a way to share what was behind our walls with each other, so all I said was, “That makes sense. I don’t know anyone in the military, but my heart always goes out to the families left behind. I’ve been a single mom for two years now, but I can’t help thinking it’s gotta be harder on the moms and dads who are waiting for their partner to get home, and working to hold the family together in the mean time. With Jax, he sees Mitch, my ex, every weekend. I don’t have to explain where his dad is, or lay awake at night wondering if he’s safe, or answering the hard questions that kids must have. I don’t know if I could do that…” My voice trailed off as I drifted away, lost in my own thoughts.
“You would. You’re strong, Kat. Probably stronger than you know.” Jace’s words pulled me back to the moment, and I stared at him for a moment. “Look, I know we only met a few weeks ago, but I see your strength. You go to work full time, you go to school. You support and love your son, take care of a household. That’s incredible to me.”
My cheeks warmed and while I would have liked to blame it on the contents of my now empty beer bottle, I knew it had far more to do with the intense look in Jace’s eyes. “Thank you,” I said softly, dropping my gaze to my hands as they worked at tearing the paper label off the bottle.
“Can I ask you a question?” Jace said.
I looked up and met his eyes, “Sure, if I can ask one back.”
Jace smiled. “Fair enough.” He inched closer on the couch, closing the space between us to just a few inches, not close enough that we were touching, but just so that we were sharing the same space. “What’s really keeping you from this?” His quiet question hung in the air as he reached over and gently brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, taking his time fingering the strand.
I licked my lips, a quick, nervous flick of my tongue, unable to think—let alone come up with an answer to his question. There were a million reasons, but at the root was the same thing…fear.
I glanced down for a moment, at Jace’s other hand that was resting on the couch, near my leg, but not touching me. I sucked in a slow breath before locking my eyes back with his. “I’m afraid.”
A flash of a question passed behind his startling blue eyes but he didn’t say anything, leaving space for me to elaborate without his prompting. “I’m afraid of what will happen if we go further…than this. I’m afraid that after everything with my ex, that I have nothing left to give. Or that what I have isn’t enough. I’m afraid of what would happen next, the unknown. I’m afraid to trust the way you have to in order to have a good relationship. But, you know, most of all, I’m afraid that my ex will get my son. He threatens me with that all the time, and I wouldn’t—” my voice broke, quivering as I started to vocalize my deepest, darkest, pit of my stomach fear, “—I wouldn’t be able to go on without him.” I pressed my eyes closed as tears squeezed past, trailing down my cheeks.
Jace’s gentle touch startled me and my eyes flew open to find him brushing away the slick trails from my face. “I’m sorry, Kat. I shouldn’t have pushed…”
I shook my head. “No, no. Don’t say that. In some weird way, it’s nice to have someone to tell.”
It had been so long since I’d had someone in my life that I could open myself up to. My family lived across the country, and we rarely spoke. Divorcing Mitch had poisoned them against me. Mitch had been the family darling, and had managed to spin it like he was the victim. A notion I couldn’t get out of my parents, or my brother’s head, even after I disclosed the fact that he’d been cheating on me. As for friends, other than Hilda and Patrice, and a few people in my classes, I didn’t really talk to anyone, and none of those people were close enough to tell something so deep and dark and desperate.
And then there was Jace…
“Well, I’m honored.” He tucked his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned against his chest. “I’m not going to try and talk you out of any of that,” he started, “because, that’s how you feel and I fuckin’ hate when people try and dictate how you should think or feel, but I want you to know, that I’m here and I know that you’re enough, and whenever you want to sort the rest of that out—I’m all yours.”
His answer stunned me into silence and we sat together for a long time in silence, my question for him completely forgotten.
Chapter Seven — Kat
“All right, missy, you’ve been holding out on me,” Hilda teased the following Monday morning when I stopped to drop Jax off before work.
I flashed a big smile. “I was kinda hoping you’d forgotten all about that,” I teased, knowing there was no way in hell she would let something like that go. “Sadly, I’m running late, and I’ll have to tell you all about it later!”
She crossed her arms, but couldn’t hold back her smile as she feigned annoyance. “All ri
ght, get out of here. Jax will tell me all about it, I’m sure.”
We both laughed and I blew Jax a kiss as I crossed over to my driveway.
The hectic pace of working in a diner made the morning soar by, and then abruptly screech to a halt by afternoon. Once the lunch crowd was gone, Patrice and I struggled to come up with enough work to keep us both busy. Three o’clock finally rolled around, and I caught myself checking the door every time the doorbell chimed, waiting for Jace to appear. After the third time of almost giving myself whiplash, I went to the storage room to organize and clean—anything to keep busy and stop obsessing about Jace.
I’d been a hopeless mess since he’d left my house late Friday night. After the initial heaviness to our conversation, we ended up having another beer and watched a movie that was on TV, still snuggled together on the couch. It hadn’t gone any further than that—even though it was obvious we both wanted more. Jace was a complete gentleman and let me stay in the crook of his arm, my head on his chest, without trying to kiss me. When he finally left, I found myself missing his presence, warmth, and masculine scent as soon as the front door closed.
No matter how hard I tried to keep my thoughts off him, it only took seconds for them to bounce back to the memory of how it had felt to be with him Friday night. It was all too easy to begin wondering what my life—our life—would look like if it was like that every night. Making dinner together, putting Jax to bed, and then having someone to talk to, snuggle with, laugh with, and…well…I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having several less family-friendly movie-of-the-week thoughts about what might happen after Jax was sleeping.
The strength of his arms wrapped around me and the way I felt tucked against him had given my imagination more than enough to work with to cook up some very hot fantasies. My favorite had formulated as I’d been innocently remembering the way he’d looked chopping up a salad, and somehow my thoughts changed to him taking me from behind hard and fast as I braced against the counter. I shivered, letting my mind imagine every naughty detail. His hands grabbed my bare hips, anchoring me to the countertop, while his firm cock teased my ass, slipping between my wet lips. I let my fingers run down my body as my mind wandered, smiling at how hard my nipples were beneath my thin T-shirt and bra. I imagined Jace spreading my legs and the slightest pause he would take before thrusting into me, deep, hard, and all at once. I sighed and squeezed my legs together at the rush of heat between them. I dipped my fingers below the waist of my jeans, toying with the edge of my panties as I imagined Jace thrusting deep inside me, stretching and filling me with his hot cock over and over.
The sound of a door closing jolting me back to reality. “Good God, Kat,” I snapped at myself. I adjusted my shirt, looking down to make sure my arousal wasn’t on display for the entire world, before pushing out of the storage room.
I nearly crashed into Patrice as she was coming out of the bathroom. That must have been the door I’d heard close. “Hey girl, everything okay back here?” She asked. “Are you really so bored that you’re cleaning the storage room?”
I gave a sheepish laugh in response, hoping my red cheeks didn’t give away what I’d really been doing back there…
“Anyways, your guy’s here,” she said over her shoulder, as she turned and strutted back down the hall.
I didn’t even bother trying to argue that he wasn’t my guy, since that argument had been hard fought and lost ever since Jace’s arrival in our roster of regulars. My heart raced even faster, the excitement and lust over the dirty thoughts I’d been having of him moments before, combined with the usual anticipation of seeing him, sending me over the edge into school girl giddy.
“Hey.” I greeted him with a smile, surprised to see him standing by the front door. Usually he walked over and sat himself at his usual table.
I hadn’t seen him since Friday night, and as he looked at me, his own smile flashing in my direction, I was overwhelmed by the urge to kiss him. He was even better in person than the dark fantasies that filled my mind, and I could only imagine how much better the real thing would feel…if only I could let myself fall.
“Hey yourself,” he said. “I can’t stay, the producer, director guy lined up a couple clients, conveniently cutting into my normal lunch hour.”
“Oh,” I replied, not caring that my disappointment was obvious through the sloping tone of my voice. “I could bring something over?”
“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll just grab a muffin to go,” he said. “I just wanted to see you and see how your day was going.”
My cheeks warmed, and I turned away to go grab him a muffin from the basket by the cash register. I held out two choices to him. “Chocolate or poppy seed?”
“Chocolate,” he said, smiling as I handed it to him.
“Mmm. The lunch of champions,” I teased.
“Something like that,” he replied with an easy laugh. “Thanks, Kat.”
He left and I watched him go across the street, trying to ignore the tug in my chest as he got farther and farther away. It was obvious that there was something between us, and although I was the first to admit I didn’t know all that much about him, I couldn’t deny the gut feeling that told me he was a good guy, and that if I let him, he could be just the kind of guy I hadn’t realized I’d been wanting.
The only thing that was clear…was that I couldn’t pretend we were going to be able to just be friends. Not when the sight of him left me grinning like a fool, my heart racing, and a permanent smile plastered on my face.
* * * *
I ended up getting cut loose from my shift half an hour early, and decided to go visit Jace before heading home. I wrapped up a sandwich with some macaroni salad on the side, and headed across the street to surprise him with a proper lunch, assuming that by now, his stomach would be growling for something better than a muffin. I left the diner and started across the street, giving the tattoo shop a strange look as I realized that the blinds were drawn all across the front of the shop. He’d said he would be in the shop all afternoon with clients, and the crew, but looking at the shop, it appeared to be closed.
The handle of the door was unlocked, and I pushed the door open a crack, struggling to keep a grip on the sandwich and sealed cup with the salad. Before I could get the items rearranged, the door was pulled open, and a gruff voice said, “Is that her?”
Time froze as I surveyed the scene — a half naked woman was laying on the table, staring up at Jace with lustful eyes, while he ran his fingers down her side. The lights were low, except a spotlight that cast a glow over her curves that were on full display for Jace, who didn't even tear his eyes away from her at the sound of the door. “What the…?” I blurted out.
Jace and the woman both jerked to attention to look at me. “Kat?”
“Who the hell are you?” The man with the gruff voice approached. “You don’t look like the pictures…”
“Pictures? What the hell is going on?”
The man stared at me for another fraction of a second, before bellowing, “Get her out of here! Call the agency and tell them if they can’t get their act together, I’ll find a new firm! For fuck’s sake, how hard is it to find a decent model…”
A hand grabbed my arm, and jerked me towards the door.
“Wait! Stop!” Jace jumped up from his stool and took three powerful strides to rescue me from the grip of who I could only assume to be some kind of bouncer or security guard. “Let her go!”
The man released me just in time for the other man to whirl around, squaring off with Jace. “Who is she?”
“That’s none of your business,” Jace snarled. He turned his back on the man again, and looked at me. “What are you doing here?”
I was too stunned to speak, my eyes roaming past Jace’s shoulders to where the topless woman was laying, arching her back against the table like a porn star ready for a photo shoot.
“Kat? I told you I’d be working all afternoon,” he said. His voice was firm and low and
the tone of it snapped something inside me, like a dam breaking free.
“Right. Working. Got it.” I shoved the sandwich and cup of salad into his chest and he barely grabbed a hold of the items before they crashed to the floor. “Sorry to disturb you.”
I whipped around and pulled the door open, slamming it shut as I stormed out into the street.
“Kat! Stop!” Jace’s voice caught up with me as I was halfway back across the street to the diner where my car was parked.
“Go away, Jace. I have to go pick up my son. Sorry that I interrupted your session.” I reached my car and was fumbling with my keys, when he appeared beside me.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” He asked, setting a hand on the seam of the driver side door where it met the rest of the frame so I couldn’t pull it open. “What are you so upset about?”
I stared up at him, feeling my eyes sparkling with anger. “Nothing, absolutely nothing! You’re right, you were working, and I shouldn’t have disturbed you. Obviously you have your hands full…” I threw back at him, remembering the huge pair of tits I’d just been staring at.
“Oh my God, you’re jealous? Of that girl?” Jace asked. “That’s my job, Kat. I’m a tattoo artist—sometimes that requires working with, around, or, on, shall we say, scantily clad, women.”
I crossed my arms, blocking out his argument. I was angry, and for the moment, I intended to stay that way. “I’m not jealous,” I insisted, pursing my lips.
“Then what the hell was that little flip out about?”
It was a valid question, one that I should have been able to answer, but nothing came to mind. The truth was… I was jealous. After my marathon day of non-stop fantasies—all starring Jace—it had jarred me to see him hovering over some trashy chick with her boobs in his face like she was about to get motor boated.
While I stall, trying to find a way to answer his question in a way that doesn’t make me look like an insecure, control freak, the clickety clack of high heels on pavement breaks the tense silence between us. “Oh my God! Jace Winslow!”