by Louisa Trent
It had been one hell of a long night and he was weary. He had to dig deep for a teasing tone. “Yep. It's only me, Sera.”
To set her mind at ease, he stuck his hand in the cracked door and waved.
“Won't you come in? Please?”
Her voice sounded all quivery. Before leaving, he'd checked in on her and she was sound asleep. She must have awakened after that and found him missing. She was probably scared. What harm would it do to reassure her that everything was okay?
Besides, it might be something else, something more serious. Something might have happened while he was gone. Or, maybe Sera was ill-
He hadn't had time to wash up and change. But there was no light coming out from under the bedroom door; in the dark, Sera wouldn't be able to tell that he was filthy. He'd take his chances, because selfishly, he had to see her. Being around Sera always took the bite off his natural edginess. He was plenty edgy tonight.
Tomas eased open the bedroom door.
And froze. No lights, but there was plenty of moonlight streaming in the windows, and by that light he could see Sera. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing one of the white lace nightgowns he'd bought her; clearly, she'd been waiting up for him.
Because of his misspent youth, he was pretty good at keeping himself hidden. When he stepped into the room, he automatically clung to the violet shadows. From those shadows, he could see Sera but he was fairly confident she couldn't see him.
Just in case she could make out the shine of his teeth in the darkness, he pasted a smile on his face. “Everything okay in here?”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I was restless. You know how it is when you're in a strange place, in a different bed. I got a little...I don't know...lonesome I guess.”
He knew how that went. As a kid he never knew where he would sleep at night. “Don't be lonesome. I'm right in the bedroom next door. I just got up to get a glass of water in the kitchen. I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to sleep.”
Gaining her feet, Sera walked around the bed. Her bare back was a delicate length of seduction, and late or not, tired or not, he was seduced.
She reached for the light switch.
He rasped, “No lights. They...uh...hurt my eyes.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “But please stay. We need to talk.”
He took a hesitant step closer. Knowing he'd regret it, he took another, until he was facing her. Hanging onto what remained of his control, he allowed his eyes to rest on his tiny wife.
Not for the first time, he noticed the subtle details that contributed to making his wife beautiful: her long fingers, the delicate shells of her ears, her stubborn chin, her incredibly dark lashes.
Without thinking, he reached out to touch a long strand of her hair, which was lying over her shoulder in front. “My mother had hair your color. Once, I must have been about five or six, I was home alone and bored and I came across a baby picture of me cradled on my mother's lap. It was kind of wrinkled and crammed in a shoebox. The discovery surprised me because I didn't realize my father had any photos of me or my mother.”
His fingers slid down the length of hair until they crossed over onto Sera's breast. There, temptation won, and he encompassed as much of her skin as his fingers could span, until all five of his bloodied digits claimed the dainty mound of warm and womanly flesh. “I shouldn't be doing this-”
“We're married,” she whispered. “And it feels right.”
“Better than right,” he said hoarsely.
“You want me, Tomas?” she asked.
“I want you. And I should definitely leave.”
“Oh, go ahead!” she bristled, knocking his hand away and turning her back on him. “Leave. Run away. Go back to your trailer. You're nothing but a liar!”
Yeah, that's what he'd do, Tomas thought. He'd go back to the trailer to sleep. His wife didn't fuckin’ want him; she wanted Matt, her perfect dead husband. He couldn't compete with a memory locked in time.
Back inside the connecting bedroom where he had originally planned on spending the night, he tore at his tee-shirt. It felt too tight, like it was strangling him. When Tomas absently touched the side of his jaw, the scratch he'd gotten from a jagged piece of broken bottle glass started to bleed and his finger came away with a sharp sliver.
During that night's scuffle, one dealer, broken beer bottle in hand, had gotten a little too close. Tomas’ fists were his only weapons, and they were enough; in the ensuing scuffle, he'd smashed the dealer's face in. That toothless mothafucka wouldn't be bothering Sera no more-
Tomas was dirty. Bloody. Covered with glass particles. His clothes were ripped. He reeked of sweat and anger. The stench of retaliation was carried on his body and he wasn't ashamed of it. And always, whenever he was anywhere near Sera, there was lust pumping in his veins.
He whipped off the ripped and bloodied tee shirt and tossed it on the single bed.
He was scared shitless about staying with his bride alone tonight. But he couldn't leave Sera alone here in the condo. Or at the mansion. Not yet. Tonight, he'd handled the situation, and he thought it would stay cool, but who knew with dealers? They were nothing but creep junkies! Sera and he were married. His wife was his responsibility. How could he walk out on her?
The refrain hammered inside his head as Tomas circled the floor. How could he walk out on her? How could he walk out on her...?
He couldn't walk out on her!
But it was hell knowing Sera was his wife and he couldn't fuc...
No! Dammit, no! If he got close to his wife tonight, he wouldn't be fucking her; he'd be making love to her.
The sane part of him reasoned that even if he did return to the trailer tonight, the torment of wanting her wouldn't end. The torment was inside him, and there was no running from it. His only recourse was to face it, have it out with the woman who was tormenting him.
He stormed back out his door and into Sera's room, just as she was about to slip under the covers. Purposefully, he hit the light switch, making sure she could see him when he said what needed to be said.
His bride was bare under the lace nightgown he'd bought her. His nostrils flared as he picked up her scent. Her sex perfume was in the air between them, musky and female, telling him that her body was receptive to sex. And still he managed to keep his voice low. “I don't want to go back to the trailer. But don't make me wish for things I can't have. There's no sweetness in my life. No softness in my heart. No beauty in my soul. I got nothing to give you, Sera. Nothing to offer.”
“You have plenty to-”
“Let me finish!”
At her nod, he said, “There's nothing inside me to give you. But, selfishly, I need your presence in my life like a drowning man needs a life preserver. I need your softness, your womanliness. But it ain't all poetry and sighs. I need your cunt too. And I also need for you to understand the gritty world I inhabit, where strangers, people I don't even know, think I'm little better than the dirt under their feet. I don't deserve you, but I can't leave you like I should, either. You give me peace, Sera.”
“You've hurt the side of your face,” she said quietly.
He brushed his fingers over the tear in his skin. “Yeah, I know.”
She glided toward him on bare feet. “The light is too dim in here. Come into the bathroom with me. The light's better in there. I need to get a better look at that cut. It might need stitches.”
Like a fool, he followed her inside, like a fool he let her clean him up at the sink.
After a while, she shook her head in that cute exasperated way of hers and asked him the question he'd dreaded her asking:” Where did you go when you left here tonight, Tomas?”
This is the part he hated. He hated lying to Sera. He'd done it earlier, and now he'd have to do it again. “I was at The Flamingo.”
“All night? The bar closed hours ago.”
“No, not all night.” He felt sick, but he continued. “I met a woman at the bar. Got in a brawl with
a customer over her. That's why I'm all cut-up. Since I was the one who won the fight, she took me back to her place to fuck. That's where I was.”
She started to laugh. “My goodness, you think you would have cleaned up a little first before you got in bed with her.”
“We didn't make it to a bed. I three-holed her in the kitchen. Believe me, sweetheart, we were both too high to care about a little dirt.”
She sniffed in his direction. “There's no alcohol on your breath.”
Damn! “I said, high, Sera, not drunk.”
“You don't do drugs, Tomas, and you weren't with any barfly tonight. Why would you go through all that bother when, if you only wanted sex and any woman would do, you had me?”
She wasn't any woman! Sera was his wife, and he didn't only just want sex.
“Didn't you hear me?” he rasped, the sickness in him spreading from his belly to his legs, making him weak. “I wanted it raunchy. I wanted it down and dirty. I wanted to fuck her ass. You're too much of a lady for what I wanted.”
“No, I'm not.”
“Take off that nightgown and we'll see,” he said, trying to scare her off.
“Very well,” she said.
Calling him on the bluff, she loosened the ribbon at the neck, letting the white lace fall to the bathroom floor.
He should've known Sera wouldn't scare easy. He should've known she wouldn't back down. This was the same woman who'd blasted him with the spray from a bottle of ammonia when she thought he was a Southside desperado.
She stood there, and in her refined, ladylike way said, “Fuck my ass, Tomas. Go on, I want you to. Take me just as you took that woman. Three-hole me.”
After she said that, his lie ended. He couldn't take no more.
“I'd never cheat on you, Sera,” he admitted, surrendering his pride. “I wasn't fucking another woman. The only woman I want is you.”
She hung tough. “I know you would never cheat on me. Now tell me where you were.”
“I was breaking some skulls.”
“Whose, may I ask? Anyone I know?”
He let go a sigh. “I went back to the mansion, made sure the dealers knew I was there alone, and when they moved in on me, I hit back. I don't think they'll bother you again.”
“I see. Well, I don't approve of fighting as a way to resolve conflict...”
“I didn't suppose you would,” he said dryly.
“Do you have any other injuries? Any that I can't see?”
“No, I fought dirtier than they did so I got out of it in one piece.”
“I'm glad to hear that, Tomas, because if those dealers had hurt you I'd have to find them and hurt them back.”
Her fingers were cool on his hot skin. The rip in his skin didn't hurt nearly as much when she touched him.
He asked, like he had asked so many times before of too many strangers to count at so many houses that were never a home to him: “Does this mean I don't have to go? Does this mean I can stay here with you?”
“We're married, Tomas. Of course, you can stay. I was only giving you an out, in case you wanted to go back to your trailer. When you left me alone tonight, I was afraid you wouldn't come back. I was afraid that you had changed your mind about having a wife, even a temporary one.”
“I took care of the situation tonight, but you'll still need me to stay on at the mansion until I can get those new houses built. The dealers won't be pushed out for good until then. That's why I can't let you go back to that house without me being there with you. That's why I had to come back...”
“I see...”
She was silent while she cleansed the remainder of his wounds, silent while she pushed him into the shower. When he came back out spanking clean, and fully erect, she took his hand.
“Where we goin, woman?” he asked.
“I'm taking you to bed.”
“To our bedroom?”
“Yes. To our bedroom. Temporary or not, this marriage will have no grounds for annulment.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Our bedroom.
Two simple words, buy they meant so much!
Those tossed out words, words Tomas probably didn't even realize he'd said, touched Sera in a deep and abiding way.
If everything else they'd said thus far to one another had been misunderstood, misinterpreted, or just dead wrong, the meaning of those two simple words rang true and real and strong.
They were married, and starting tonight they would begin to share a bedroom.
This time, Sera intended to fight for her marriage, because this time, there was something to fight for. Tomas really did want her, his body told her so, and he really did need her too.
Even though he'd said he had to come back...
Her husband's hand went to her bare bottom as she walked in front of him. He was smoothing his palm over her buttock, cupping her buttock, a finger fingering the crevice between her buttocks.
“I love your ass,” he said.
The rough words fell like poetry on her ears.
She pulled back the covers and got into bed, reclining on her back.
Instinctively, she knew there would be no foreplay. And so she wasn't at all surprised to hear a drawer open and close in the darkness and the rustling of foil, followed by the sound of a condom snapped in place.
“I put these here, just in case. I didn't plan on this happening, Sera, but I'm a man and you know my reputation. This way, they'll be no chance of you having my baby,” he said as he separated her legs.
In the rush, she hadn't considered birth control. Truthfully, even if she'd had the luxury of time, she still didn't know if she'd have given contraception a thought. She'd always wanted a baby...
Obviously, Tomas had considered birth control. To him, this marriage was temporary and so, ever responsible, he was protecting her against an unwanted pregnancy.
And then he was kissing her, and she couldn't think any more.
Tomas was a big man, and though he was up on his elbows, suspended above her, he couldn't spare her all of his weight.
She liked his weight. She liked his enormous size. She liked the way he both dominated and protected her by the sheer force of his physical presence.
Because of her date with a candle, she was not a virgin. At least, technically she was not a virgin. But melted wax is not a man, and Tomas’ penis was...well...his penis was huge, much larger than a stick of paraffin with a wick at one end.
It hurt. The entry, even those first few inches, was quite painful.
She cried out and bucked, inadvertently dislodging him.
He pulled back.
Hysterical, sobbing at what a mess she was making of things, she crawled away from him on the bed, and turned her back, needing to lick her wounds alone as she had always done in the past.
A drawer was opened and closed again.
“I'll use lube.” Tomas said, his voice strained.
Covering her private parts with her arms, she looked back over her shoulder. “Please Tomas, let me explain. It's only that I'm not used to...” She stopped, unable to go on.
“A man like me,” he completed for her. “I know, ruca,” he said sadly.
That isn't what she wanted to say! She wanted to admit the painful secret of her first marriage, to tell him of the pathetic failure of her sexual relationship with Matt.That her husband had placed celibacy before her, that as a result of his zealousness, they had lived as brother and sister, not husband and wife. She wanted to reveal that though she'd been married for five years, she'd never had sex! But it seemed so disloyal to Matt-
'Let's not talk,’ Tomas had told her once not too long ago. ‘We get in trouble when we try to make the other understand where we're coming from...’
Was he right?
She had to accept reality; for whatever reason, communication did not come easily for them.
But Tomas was not like Matt! There was a physical attraction between them that neither could deny. Wasn't sex the most profound commun
ication of all?
She backed up to her husband, bottom first, to where he was kneeling on the bed.
“Steady,” he said, running a palm over her spine. “Steady, ruca. You just need some help. I thought you were wet enough, but I guess you're not. Lube will make it easier.”
Her husband reached between her spread legs, gently inserting an oiled finger into her vagina, followed by a second. He was patiently and considerately coating her with the lubricant, assuaging the path he would take, because in her inexperience, she was too tense about failing him to accept him unaided into her body.
After he finished lubricating her vagina, he helped her roll over on her back again
“Put you knees up to your chest,” he said.
“Like this?” she asked hitching her bottom up off the bed.
His palm smoothed up her leg. “Yeah. Just like that.”
Despite her best intentions, her knees started to close.
“Now don't close up on me, honey. I'll need it nice and open,” he said, widening her thighs and then making a fast approach. “Don't fret none about my size; I promise I won't put it in you all the way,” he soothed, fingering her clitoris.
“No! I want you to.”
“You're too tight,” he said, starting to ease the enormous head of his penis into her lubed opening. “Fuck, Sera! Your slit-it's milking me already. Just like when you put me in your mouth and I lost control. I won't be able to hold on long now either...”
Is that why it had ended so quickly? Her husband had lost control?
Miraculously, upon hearing the real reason for his speedy withdrawal-that he wasn't apathetic to her, that she'd excited him so much he'd ejaculated before he'd wanted to—she relaxed. And when she did that, the entry didn't hurt as much as it had before. There was discomfort, as her body tried to accommodate his body, and the stretch of her flesh did bring tears to her eyes, but she knew she could do it.
“Don't cry, baby,” he whispered, licking the salty moisture away with his tongue. “Please don't cry. It must be tough, you know, the first time with another man. It's okay. I don't expect nothing from you. I know how much you loved Matt.”