by Bri Izzo
And then he slowly breaks my seal. It doesn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, probably because his eyes are distracting me. They’re just as full of trust and happiness as I am in this moment; that much I know. It will forever be my favorite moment in my life, sharing this intimacy with my best friend, my soul mate, my hero.
Skyler covers all my bases as we rock back and forth on the dock, and he never takes his eyes off me. I’m sure part of it is out of concern for me passing out in the middle of it or wanting to read my face to make sure I’m not pretending he isn’t hurting me. After the first few slow thrusts, I’m hooked. I wrap my legs around his waist and mirror his hip movements to create a fully satisfying sensation. His breath grows deep and quick, and he gives me a small not-so-innocent smile, which makes me beg for him.
“Faster,” I plead, reaching up and messing his hair with my fingers as I pull it out of instinct. I can’t get enough of him, even when he leans down and kisses my boobs, seriously increasing my desire for him. “Mmmmm, fuck me.”
He lets out a deep moan in his throat as he tries to control himself from going overboard. “Say it again,” he demands, coming back up to meet my gaze, our noses touching as he waits in anticipation for me to say his favorite word again. It’s so fucking sexy to hear him talk like this, and apparently he thinks the same of me.
“Fuck me,” I repeat, and he slams his cock into me harder and quicker than I ever imagined in my dreams, kissing me so roughly. It’s so much better than I thought possible even though we aren’t on a baseball diamond. A moment later I’m at my peak, falling over the edge again. “Skyler…” I whisper his name for an entire long breath as he finishes with me. I’m in the best delirious state of mind. Even though he has a condom on, I can still tell he’s peaked by the way his muscles tighten, his jaw clenches, and he closes his eyes for a half of a second as the sensation hits him. Then he watches my eyes fall to where we’re connected and part of him disappears between my legs. I grab his thigh and memorize what he looks like on top of me before he finally pulls out.
Before reaching for our clothes, he says, “Sorry for the inside the park home run. Tomorrow can be a true home run.”
“I’m still trying to locate my mind, so can you explain that analogy?” I giggle.
“First time is quick, like a sprint. It’ll gradually turn into a jog so it’ll last longer,” he explains, then gives me a quick kiss before reaching for my panties and shirt first. There’s totally a small tear in my panties, but I kind of like it. After then slipping on his boxers, he throws me my pants and continues dressing himself. Once fully clothed we stand up, and I go to retrieve the jet-ski, but he stops me. His hand on my shoulder spins me around to meet his heavenly gaze. He looks so much lighter, and I know whenever he comes back to this high dive he’ll see us fucking, not the accident. “I love you so fucking much, B,” he softly tells me.
“This was like an inside the park home run at the World Series. I love you, Sky,” I whimper in a way that I can’t keep myself from hiding. I’m being such a girly girl, but I don’t care. That was fucking amazing.
36 Skyler Swanson
I drive us back to the cabin on the jet-ski and drag it back into the shed to keep it out of the water. As I’m about to walk out of the shed and lock it up, Buzz stands in the entryway biting her lip to keep from smiling too much. She has no idea how much watching her do that makes me weak at the knees.
I know what she wants. And I don’t have another condom with me. I literally only brought that one that we just used on the high dive dock.
“Skyler,” she calls my name in the cutest way. It totally gives her away, but she thinks she looks so innocent. I’ve picked up on her new thing of saying my full name when she’s trying to turn me on. I can count on one hand the amount of times she used my full name up until we started dating; now I need both hands and soon I’ll lose count. But I wouldn’t trade that look on her face for anything. She wants me. Again. Already. It’s not like I don’t want her again already; I just won’t be careless with her.
Walking over to her, I run my hand around her neck and through her hair, watching her eyes study me. I fucking love the way she’s looking at me. Then she motions her eyes past me at the shed hoping I’ll read her mind. I do. But I’m going to have to deny her, which fucking sucks.
“I only brought that one in my pocket, B,” I disappointedly tell her.
“Oh,” she states, her eyes falling between us.
“We got all weekend. We’ll come back,” I promise her. Why the hell not? If she wants to fuck me in a shed, I’ll fucking let her. No questions. I just need to be protected.
When we begin walking up the stairs I notice that her footsteps stop echoing mine behind me. I expect her to have run off or be giving me a silly mocking look, but when I turn around I see her still at the bottom of the stairs when I’m on the fourth one. Her hand lightly rests on the railing as if she’s going to try pulling herself up the stairs like that.
“What are you doing?” I sarcastically snap at her.
Guilt covers her face, and I immediately drop the snarkiness. Her face looks paler than a minute ago, and she’s out of breath. I walk down the four steps to meet her on level ground and wait for her to speak. The expression on her face is so unusual; she’s never remorseful or embarrassed.
“Can you carry me?” she sulks. This isn’t a high maintenance I’m-too-good-to-walk or I-just-want-you-to-hold-me request. She doesn’t have the literal energy to make it up the stairs after just exerting herself on the high dive dock with me. Good thing I don’t have another condom. She would’ve passed out on me in the shed. I’m glad she asked me instead of pushing herself too far, but I’m still surprised at this first time occurrence.
“Of course, B,” I answer. I’d carry her anywhere she wants to go. I turn around so she can hop on my back and wrap her legs and arms around me in a piggyback.
I feel her head droop over my shoulder, and I worry she’s feeling nauseous already. But instead she brings her lips to my ear and whispers, “Thank you.”
It’s midnight by the time we get back inside the cabin, so we start to get ready for bed. She drank some Gatorade and the color instantly came back into her face, thankfully. I head for my bedroom that I have always shared with Sam and Alex, but Buzz stands in my doorway hugging the frame and shaking her head.
“What?” I question her.
“As much fun as it looks to share a twin sized bed with you, we have two queens that are totally empty,” she points out.
“Yeah, and they’re our parents’ beds,” I remind her. Gross.
“So?” she shrugs. She’s seriously crazy. Only Buzz would see nothing wrong with sleeping in her parents’ bed.
“So they’ve fucked there how many times?” I ask, purposely wanting to make her cringe. Except it doesn’t work.
“Like I keep track of that. I’m only keeping track of all the times we’re going to fuck,” she teases. Damn. If I can fuck her at the scene of where her accident happened, I can pretty much fuck her anywhere, even in her parents’ bed. There’s no denying this woman. Her eyes are way too convincing.
“Fine, you win,” I concede. I walk towards her and scoop her up in my arms, careful not to actually throw her over my shoulders since it’ll probably make her sick. I carry her into her parents’ bedroom and lay her on the bed. I go back to close the door and switch the lights off before curling up behind her and kissing her neck.
Having her in my arms completes the perfect night. I let her fall asleep before I even close my eyes. All I want is for her to sleep through the night and wake up in my arms. I hate myself for worrying about her; I can’t fully enjoy just being in this moment even though I know it will be my biggest regret in life.
“Good night, B. I love you,” I mumble into her hair.
“I love you,” she echoes, lacing her fingers with mine on her thigh. We lay in silent perfection for a few minutes until her breath grows heavy and her body
releases all of her apprehension to fall asleep on me. But then I hear her whisper, “Sky.”
“Yeah, B?” I acknowledge that I hear her.
“Relax. Go to sleep. I’m okay, and I’ll wake you up if I’m not,” she tells me. I really don’t know how she can read my mind, but I’m torn between feeling guilty and grateful. As if it will affirm her promise, she rolls over in my arms so she’s now facing me and tangling her legs with mine. Her smile is so light and cheerful as she moves so our noses are just barely touching, and I feel better, more assured, that everything is okay. I’m a pretty serious guy, but she allows me to finally relax.
When the sun rises the next morning, it makes me realize that I forgot to close the blinds before we went to bed. Fuck the sun. It’s the weekend; I just want to sleep. But then it hits me that I should appreciate that I get more time to spend awake with Buzz.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” I whisper and press my lips against her bare back and up to her neck before she flinches and takes a deep breath. I totally woke her up. She’s like a cute little dinosaur the way she screeches and stretches her arms and legs. And she continues being adorable as she giggles and buries her head under the covers. So obviously I go in after her. “What are you doing?” I laugh. She’s crawling on all fours with a smile on her face that takes me back to when we were kids. She was always smiling about something back then.
“Remember when we made that fort in your basement where we raided the linen closet for sheets and blankets? Your mom was so mad we destroyed that closet,” she’s clearly on the same wavelength as me.
“Yes, I remember,” I chuckle at the memory. We’ve always gotten into trouble together, but it’s more fun that way.
Her spirit is unbelievably bright, so I take a risk and reach to tickle her bare stomach, causing her to squirm away from me and slither off the bed. I chase her around the master bedroom in just our underwear as she heads for the connecting bathroom. She has a slight head start, but I see her abruptly stop when she runs into her reflection in the mirror. She looks extremely skinny compared to last softball season, and I know it’s from not having an appetite and puking. She’s still gorgeous as all hell though. I carefully watch her, trying to determine where this is going to go.
A brief sadness overtakes her eyes, but she sees me slowly approaching her from behind and stops. Her eyes falsely brighten as she tries to shrug this off. I didn’t realize Buzz was putting on a show hiding her true feelings towards her scar or her body. In the mornings before school I never see her look in a mirror, so that should be my first clue. But I always think it’s just Buzz being Buzz.
In the wake of her I wrap my arms around her waist and then lower my head to whisper in her ear, “You put the ‘b’ in beautiful.”
“Wow, you’re hilarious,” she snaps, dropping her head to drastically avoid everything: my gaze, her reflection, the light coming from outside. My supposed-to-be-compliment sends her jumping off a cliff.
My compliment may be the cheesiest fucking thing I’ve ever said in my life, but I want to see her smile again. We were goofing around seconds ago. She needs to know her scar doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make her less pretty.
“Do you fucking need a minute?” I ask her, stepping away and releasing my arms from around her. She’s gotta do this her way, whether that’s with me or without me is up to her, but I can’t push her.
“No. I don’t know, maybe,” she rambles, completely unsure of herself. She slouches to cup her hands over her face as she lets out a frustrated groan. Being whiney is not her forte.
“It’s okay to be upset,” I tell her. A silence appears in the house, and I’m a little uncomfortable. I don’t know what I can fucking do for her, if anything will make a difference. “Go back to bed, and I’ll start a bath for you.”
“Sky, you don’t have to do that,” Buzz sighs. I can feel that she’s disgusted with herself for letting it all bother her. Her eyes say that when they snap up to look at me. Being babied will make her push me away, and I know that, but fuck, I’m going to spoil my fucking girl.
“I know. But we came up here to get away and take it easy,” I shrug. And that’s exactly what I want her to do.
Ten minutes later I have seven of Beth’s candles lit in the ensuite bathroom and warm water and bubbles in the bathtub. It finally comes in handy that Beth is high maintenance. When I approach the bedroom, Buzz is lying on my side of the bed facing the direction of the bathroom like she’s waiting for me to return.
“You ready?” I question her.
“Sky, I’m sorry,” she whimpers, sitting up and finally looking me in the eyes. Thankfully even ten minutes alone in bed has made her mood brighter. I don’t know what it is about her reflection that made her so angry, so I guess I’ll have to pay more attention in the future.
“It’s okay. We can talk in the bathtub if you want,” I offer. I don’t want the water to get cold and have to start all over. Beth will definitely notice if we have to use more of her bath bomb thingies, and she’ll probably flip shit over it.
“You’re going to join me?” she grins unexpectedly. How is it possible that I can do that to her? Wow. There’s nothing like watching her love me.
“Unless you want me to leave you alone.” It’s her choice. I know she likes her alone time, and I won’t deny her from that luxury. But she silently shakes her head as if to say, Of course I don’t want you to leave me.
I scoop her into my arms as she holds onto my neck. She opens her eyes once we enter the bathroom and she gasps. “This is so cheesy,” she laughs. “I love it.”
We strip out of our underwear and lay them on the tile floor in a pile before I step into the tub and hold out my hand to help her inside. God, I love seeing her naked, emotionally and physically. All those years of silently crushing on her finally pays off. She is mine.
The bathtub really isn’t made for two lanky teenagers, but we make do by overlapping our legs along the sides like we did that night two summers ago on the couch. I make sure to take the side with the faucet hanging from it to prevent any incidents of Buzz smacking her head on it.
At first I watch her enjoying the rosy aroma from the bubbles, but eventually she rests her eyes on me. I think she’s finally fucking relaxing for the first time in probably her entire life. I swear that girl is always doing something or running somewhere.
“This is nice,” she admires my gesture.
“I just want you to relax,” I tell her.
“I meant being just with you and getting away from home,” she clarifies.
“Oh, so you like me?” I tease, splashing her a little but not enough to make a mess.
“I never thought that waking up with someone else next to me would be my favorite part of the day, but with you, it always is,” she poetically shares. Fuck people who think guys don’t get butterflies from hearing their girl say how they feel about them. This is the best damn thing anyone has ever said to me.
“Can I tell you something?” I hope. When she nods energetically, I add, “If you need to steal my man card for this, feel free.”
A smile appears as she giggles, “Stop it. What is it?”
I move to kneel in between her spread legs and steady myself by holding onto one of them. The other hand I use to hold the back of her neck in preparation for kissing her. God, she’s beautiful. Her fiery eyes connect with mine for an intense moment before I reveal the most vulnerable version of myself.
“Every single time I wake up with you in my arms I’m further convinced that we belong together.” I wait nervously, hoping she won’t take my declaration lightly. I mean what I fucking say. Another day with her is always another blessing.
Buzz closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as if she’s inhaling my words to store inside of her. Her natural smile makes my chest heat with happiness. I try to memorize this moment, the peace that I know she’s feeling. I don’t know what life has in store for us; all I know is that I want to experience whatever
it is with her.
When she leans forward, I know that’s my cue to kiss her long and hard.
That weekend was the greatest fucking weekend of my seventeen years of life. Yes, we fucked, but that isn’t the only reason why it was so awesome. We finally got to be alone and just be together with no hiding or drama. At home we are together every day as best friends, which is great, but being able to freely kiss my woman is even better.
My parents questioned why I was gone all weekend with the key to the cabin, but I told them that Buzz and I went up there to get closure with the accident. It isn’t a total lie. They at least pretended to buy it.
Returning home is a struggle trying to keep my hands off of Buzz. Our only saving grace is that she sleeps over at my house almost every night. And you can bet your ass that she is pretty convincing; we fuck in my bed often. We always spice it up in some way with role playing and trying to remain unheard to my family. My favorite thing was walking into my closet and being floored seeing Buzz standing in the middle of it wearing only my Red Devils baseball jersey. Damn that girl makes me go crazy.
She also makes me go crazy on the sideline of her softball games in spring. It isn’t always entirely for the same reasons, however.
Cara calls the pitches better in most games than I would in her position, and that’s saying a lot considering I’m her position on my team. I give her all the credit in the fucking world for keeping Buzz’s pitching game a mystery to our opponents. All until this one game.
It’s midseason; we’re undefeated and up three games to the next closest team in our division. McCallum, the other coaches, and I aren’t worried about our record or the league standings. The confidence we have in Buzz and Cara running the field is staggering. By the way, Buzz is the only sophomore captain any of us on the coaching staff have ever known in the history of Hinsdale Central softball. We all agree she deserves it. Her senior partner in crime Cara also reigns with her, and they seem unstoppable.