Forgotten Memories

by Theresa Stillwagon

  A cunning smile slipped over her mouth, and she stepped out onto the step. “Maybe you should tell her that.”

  “I want to,” Adam said, frustration sounding in his tone. “But I can’t find her.”

  Rose moved into the doorway, long white pajamas clinging to her shapely legs. “I bet she’s at the saloon.”

  Barb slapped at the side of her bare thigh. “Now why didn’t I think of that?”

  “I know she’s there,” Rose said. “She told me once a while back that she goes to the saloon when she needs a quiet place to think. And if her sister has shown up in Helena, she’s probably got a lot to think about now.”

  Barb placed her hand on his arm, turning him toward the gated entrance of the town. “Go find her, Adam.”

  He froze in place. “I’m not sure she wants to see me.”

  “She does,” Barb said. “Just take my word for it.”

  Chapter 18

  Jen sensed someone’s presence in the bar area a few seconds before she heard the sound of the office door opening. She didn’t turn from her laptop screen, but continued to stare at the lesson plans she’d set up for the next week of classes. Only a few words flashed on the narrow viewer, and one of those words was November.

  Her mind had blanked out as soon as she powered up her laptop.

  All she could see in it was the way her sister’s face looked when Jen had caught her riding her ex-fiancé. The image edged in her subconscious, refusing to let go of her memory.

  Would she ever stop hurting?

  When a more rugged, wind-chiseled face entered her thoughts, she pushed it away.

  She couldn’t handle it again, not with this man.

  “Beautiful?”

  How could she not have known it was Adam?

  Because her overwhelming psychic abilities always failed her when it came to her own happiness—or unhappiness, as she knew from experience.

  “Rose told me you might be here.”

  She didn’t look away from her computer screen.

  “Barb told me to come and find you.”

  Jen turned to face him then. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  Anger leaped in him, flushing his face a deep red. “Damn it, I want to talk to you.”

  “That’s too bad.” She twisted back to stare at the screen. “I want you to leave now.”

  Unexpectedly, and with awesome force, he twisted her chair around toward him. He grabbed both arms of it as he leaned close to her, trapping her awakening body tight to the plush seat. She kicked out with her foot, making contact with his left knee. A low moan escaped his throat, but he didn’t release the arms of her chair.

  “I have nothing to say to you.”

  When she kicked out at him a second time, he caught her threshing bare foot between his upper thighs and held on tight. “I don’t think so, lady. I’m not really into pain.”

  “And I’m not into bondage.”

  His gleam darkened at the statement, a lazy grin slowly replacing the deep frown. “That’s too bad.”

  “You’re disgusting.”

  His grin intensified. “If you were, it’d be so much easier for me to get and keep your attention.”

  “Bullshit!”

  His laughter surprised her, causing her own lips to move upward.

  She didn’t want to be charmed by him. “Stop laughing at me, Adam Craine.”

  “You stop with the foul mouth,” he said, breathing warm air against her lips. “And I’ll stop laughing.”

  Desire flowed into her so fiercely, so hot and so real, it hurt. “I’ll stop swearing only if you do one little thing for me.”

  An aching need to release her pent-up emotions and beliefs with a furious orgasm tore at her senses. What difference did her promises make anyway? The only promise she really cared about keeping was the one she’d made to her grandfather.

  And he wouldn’t even remember her making it.

  She wanted to forget.

  Pushing her promise to the back of her mind, Jen leaned into Adam and placed her hands on his upper thighs. Hard muscles tightened under her touch. “Will you do one thing for me?”

  “What?”

  “Well.” Jen sighed. “Let’s make it two things.”

  She lifted her right hand from his firm thigh and quickly removed his cowboy hat from his head, throwing it halfway across the room. It landed on its crown near the white Chinese folding wall, an invitation of sorts.

  “When I make love to a man, I want to see his eyes.”

  He leaned away from her, stunned by her words. “Jen?”

  “I know what you’re going to say, Adam.” She gently slid her hand into his flattened hair, combing her fingers through it. Her other hand moved up his inner thigh to rest at the junction of it and his penis. “But I don’t care right now about any ridiculous promise I made to a bunch of uptight old men.”

  “That’s understandable,” he said. “But what about the one you made to your grandfather?”

  “He probably…” She fought the harsh sob threatening to escape her. “He won’t even remember me making it. He can’t even remember turning on a damn stove, so how could he possibly remember a stupid promise?”

  Adam caught her hand before she cupped it around the enormous bulge between his legs. “You don’t want to do this, honey.”

  “Oh, you’re so wrong.” With a fierceness she couldn’t explain, Jen ached to get this man naked. She shook his capturing hands away and caressed the bulge at his crotch while pressing his head toward her burning mouth. “Cowboy, I want you.”

  He didn’t try to push her away this time. His mouth settled onto hers, angled sideways to take all of her in a greedy lust-filled kiss. His tongue slid into her opening lips, caressing the upper part of her mouth with urgency, causing a groan to explode deep from her lungs.

  Damn, but Jen needed this.

  She moved away from him, pushing the floor to send the rolling chair crashing against her desk. Her laptop leaped a few inches as she slipped out of her seat and stepped up to Adam. Her hand reached to his crouching body and helped him up from the floor, entwining his fingers with hers and leading him into the small area behind the white temporary wall.

  He followed easily behind her.

  “Are you sure you want to do this? I remember how you were the first time this happened,” he whispered, placing his hands on both sides of her waist while pressing his hardened front against her. “I don’t want this to end, but I’ll end it if it’s what you want.”

  Jen twisted to face him, trapping his left hand with hers, sliding it slowly up her body, and placing it on her breast. “I hurt, Adam.”

  A soft sigh escaped his mouth, turning into a long, drawn-out groan.

  “I know you can take my pain away.”

  “Your pain?”

  She didn’t say anything for a few moments. “The pain caused by the return of my mother and Kimberley.”

  “Why would seeing them hurt you?” He moved her toward the bed and settled on it, drawing her down close to his side. “I think we need to talk before this goes any further, honey.”

  “You want to know something? I’ve never been able to see my own future. I see visions about the town, and Mr. Thornton. I sense hidden things within Barb and Rose. Yet I’ve never been able to see things clearly involving me.” She leaned into him. “You want to know something else? I’ve never been able to read my sister.”

  “So you really didn’t know she was the manager of the hotel?”

  Jen studied him closely before shaking her head. “The last I heard, she was working for some production company in Los Angeles. I had no idea she was the bitch William mentioned earlier, and you.”

  “Sister or not, honey,” Adam whispered, “doesn’t make her less of a bitch to me.”

  “My ex called her a bitch too.”

  “I’m not your ex.”

  She ignored him. “Two weeks later, I found them together. I figured if I never allowed myself
to fall in love with anyone else, I’d never see her again.”

  “But she’s here now?”

  “I know.” Admitting her feelings, even in a vague way, settled hard in her and time would tell if Adam’s opinion of her sister changed like her ex-fiancé’s had. “No one can live a loveless life.”

  Eyes wide, shining bright with a fire she sensed belonged only to her, Adam rested his hands on both sides of her face. If only she could believe the emotion warming her skin now, causing her heartbeat to race out of control, but how could she disregard a lifetime of behavior? Her sister would show up again, no doubt tomorrow, to try to steal this man away from her.

  Yet why give in to her? Why let her win without a fight?

  “For a while now, I thought all I wanted from a woman—” Adam caressed his thumb over her lower lip. “—was a physical relationship, with no strings attached. I’m finding it’s not enough anymore.”

  “I’ve been feeling the same way.”

  He brought her face close to his mouth, snaking his tongue out to trace the outline of her lips before binding his lips with hers in a sweet, loving kiss. “It’s getting harder and harder for me to remember why I was so afraid to love someone.”

  “No, you can’t love me.”

  “Too late, honey.” He gathered her face back into his palms. “And I think it’s too late for you too.”

  “I’ll lose you,” she whispered. “If I admit to loving you, I’ll lose you.”

  “Your ex changed his mind about your sister,” he said. “I won’t.”

  Surprise leaped into her, astonishment at the sense of the truth she heard behind his words.

  “I guess you’re just going to have to trust me,” he said. “You can trust me, you know.”

  She sat still and waited, filling her body with the strength his words gave her. A second later his fingers curved over her right breast, palm rubbing hard on the pointed peak of it. She dragged in a long breath, a whisper-soft wind singed at her throat. His long fingers caressed lightly over the other breast before reaching up to free the buttons of her blouse, exposing her lace-covered bra.

  “You’re going to have to fight for me.”

  “Yes.” Breathless sighs blew low from her throat as he traced his finger over the material of her bra. “I’ll fight for you.”

  “Good.”

  Why had she not thought of fighting for Sam or any of the other men Kimberley had stolen from her? Why had she just given in to her sister’s devious behavior?

  Adam had awakened much more than her heart. He’d opened a part of her she’d lost sometime after Kimberley had taken away her childhood neighbor friend. Strength and belief in her abilities and talents, and beauty, raced unchecked into her being. No way would she give in to her sister this time without a fight. No way would she walk away and let Kimberley have this man.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he groaned, bringing her mind back to his trembling stroke. She moved her breasts into the cup of his hand. “You have no clue what you do to me, do you?”

  “I can guess.” Tracing her palm down his chest, she stopped at the pulsating bulge crowding the front of his jeans. “Oh, cowboy, feels like you need some attention here.”

  “And you need some attention here.” Placing his lips over the lacy bra, he sucked the tip of her right breast, drawing it deep into his mouth. “And here,” he whispered while his lips traveled to the left one. “Feels nice.”

  Jen thrust her breasts out toward his face, enjoying the wetness of his rough tongue dampening her bra, the peaks of her nipples clearly visible in the filmy lacy material. She pressed her lower body tightly against him, arching her back to give him easier access to the sensitive area. Yet it wasn’t enough.

  “You want it off?” Adam said as she moaned out his name. “I’ll just help you out of this thing.”

  Cold air breezed over her naked breasts, sending a new slew of gooseflesh around the edge of them, her nipples hardening in anticipation. As he gently trapped the tight bud inside his mouth, he pressed her back against the bed, sending her flying to the center of the soft mattress. He landed half on top of her, clothed hardness probing near her yielding softness. She lifted her bottom and rubbed the tingling wet area against his pulsating cock, curving her hands down his back to press hard on his ass.

  But it wasn’t enough. “Stand up, Adam.”

  “Why?” He grinned, gathering her legs up and over his taut bottom. “I kinda enjoy lying like this with you.”

  “It’d be better if you were naked.” She grinned along with him. “Don’t you think?”

  He jumped from the bed. “Your wish is my command.”

  “Just remember that,” Jen said, reaching for his zipper. She grasped the silver end of it and pulled the zipper down slowly over his erection, enjoying the sight of his large member springing from the trap of his jeans. His groan deepened. A loud, drawn-out breath escaped from his throat when she captured his penis in her hands and spiked her tongue over the tip of it.

  She burned, wetness dripped down the skin of her inner thighs.

  Snaking her tongue down the length of him, she sucked the tip while playing with his balls. His hands fell to the back of her head, his fingers tangling roughly in the long strands falling down her spine. He moaned out her name once again, moving his hands down to her shoulders until his fingers slid under her arms. He picked her up and slammed her butt first into the mattress before following her, catching her left ankle and lifting it up. Her pants and panties lay crumbled to the floor seconds later and his hand lay still just above the coarse hair at her middle.

  He looked up at her, studying her with pleading, lust-filled eyes. “I can smell you.”

  “Adam?” Jerking her hips toward his downward angled head, she pulled both legs up and spread them wide.

  “Help me,” whispered in the air.

  His bewildered look echoed in her stunned mind. “What?”

  Eerie coldness surrounded her now, the paranormal coldness of spirits visiting with their human host. “Oh, Grandpa Adam, why are you coming to bother us now?”

  She could almost see the change in Adam, from grandson to great-great-grandfather within a matter of seconds. Adam slid from the bed and stumbled to the mirror, picking up the bright red lipstick. He wrote quickly, a single word, before turning to face her.

  “What?” She moved to her knees and looked at the mirror. “Ask? Why did you write that word? Do you want me to ask you questions?”

  Adam nodded, and waited. Naked and erect, frustratingly close and yet so damned far away. “I’m not sure what to ask you, Grandpa.”

  Adam didn’t move away.

  “I mean, you are Adam’s great-great-grandfather, right?”

  He wrote yes on the mirror.

  “And you were murdered?”

  He wrote yes.

  Helplessness raced through her being as she watched Adam’s face fill with unanswerable questions. “I wish I could find the answers you’re searching for, Grandpa, but I can’t. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. You died over a hundred years ago.”

  He wrote Wife?

  Had he been married to her aunt? No, he’d been married to the bitter woman in the pictures. Did that woman kill him because he was having an affair? Kill them both? “You think your wife killed you?”

  Adam’s shoulders shrugged and wrote Husband?

  Her aunt was married? Wasn’t her aunt a prostitute? “Grace had a husband?”

  Then he wrote Want…to…free.

  The coldness disappeared gradually, being replaced just as slowly by the warmth of the central heating in the old saloon. Jen watched the cowboy come awake, shaking his head a few times before grinning a cocky grin in her general direction.

  “We had a visitor, I assume.” He placed his fingers over the newly written words on the mirror.

  “Grandpa took you over, Adam.” Her aching need gone, she stood and moved to the mirror. “He left us another message.”

&nbs
p; “Paybacks are a bitch,” he said with a tight smile. “That first day I interrupted a hot time for him, now it’s his turn.”

  Jen grinned. “Are you all right?”

  He stared at her for a long few minutes before he looked down at his blood engorged cock. “Doesn’t look like it, does it?”

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  His look changed to one of blatant pleading. “I guess you’ve changed your mind about making love.”

  “I’m sorry.” She tightened her hands together. “I only wanted you because I was upset about the fire, and I needed comfort. It’s wrong for me to use you like that.”

  He grinned, enclosing his large dick in his hand. “I’m flexible.”

  “I bet you are.” She laughed. “Do you want me to leave?”

  He let go of his penis and reached over to grab her up to him. She came without protest, sensing a different type of need burning in her chest now. His hands cradled her chin as he looked deeply into her misty eyes. “I want this to happen again, honey.”

  “It will, Adam.”

  “But with much different results.”

  What had she been thinking anyway? If she made love to this man, it would only reinforce the warm feelings she already carried inside her heart for him. Her brother was right, she sensed. She hadn’t walked away from Adam, because she cared for him. Her sister’s untimely arrival at her front door tonight should have told her that. Didn’t Kimberley always show up to mess with her when she was opening her heart to a man?

  Yet this time, with this man, it would be different.

  If Kimberley wanted to take the cowboy from her, she would have to fight her. No way was Jen going to just lie down and let it happened again. No way would she allow her sister to stab her heels into her chance for love again.

  Some things are worth fighting for.

  “Jen, are you all right?”

  His caring left her heart hurting, her soul bleeding.

  “Jen?”

  “I’m okay.” She grabbed her blouse and slipped it over her shoulders, ignoring the bra. “But I think I need to explain a few things to you.”

  “You mean about what happened between your ex-fiancé and your sister?”