by Layla Nash
“Just tell the others I tried my best. It wasn’t me who betrayed them. I tried to save us. I really did.” Jess squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn’t have to face Maisy’s wide-eyed worry.
The next thing she knew, the ship jerked and then stopped, and in the space of a few heartbeats, a lot more bodies crowded into the sick bay. They put her on a floating gurney and hauled her through the ship as Maisy filled the various clinic workers in on all the tests she’d run, the results, the suspected toxins at work. Jess was just grateful no one asked her for anything.
Jess blinked and then they were in an isolation room, humming with machinery to purify the air and prevent any viruses or toxins from making their way out of Jess and to any other part of the clinic. That told her how much they didn’t know about what was happening to her.
Jess caught a single glimpse of Trazzak as she left the ship: he stood in the docking bay next to Frrar, neither of the Xaravians looking more than bored as they watched her disappear into the complex structure floating in the orbit of a neutral planet. Jess figured her little diatribe on the bridge sealed that deal.
She had to lie back and answer some questions as the various doctors and specialists and nurses rotated around her bed like a whole solar system, and gritted her teeth against feeling powerless. She hated being so passive. Giving up control unexpectedly always made her skin crawl. Even with Maisy next to her, translating what some of the alien doctors said and did, Jess couldn’t relax. She waited for Nathan or some bounty hunter to storm through the door and end things, so they could claim the Ministry’s blood money.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been such a bad thing if Nathan showed up. Jess could always try to defect, and go back to the Ministry on her own terms. They might take her back. The price would be high, of course, and might confirm all the suspicions Vaant already had about her, but if it let her start over somewhere comfortable and familiar... Could it be worth it?
If the clinic pumped her full of medications — or drained her blood to clean it — she might be stable enough to eventually escape. With a simple radio and a few tools, she could fashion a way to patch into the relay network to signal Nathan. She wouldn’t have put it past him to be watching the company on Dablon Seven, waiting to spring to arrest them once they failed to obtain the weapons system. Jess groaned as more machines settled over her chest and arms and head, and the doctors argued quietly in the background as more test results came back. Still Maisy was there, holding her hand, and Jess had to swallow grief and gratitude at the same time.
Things started to quiet down after an eternity, after the machines were removed and the bevy of doctors disappeared to discuss the results somewhere else. Maisy wouldn’t tell her much of anything, so Jess was left to doze and drift in the chaos of her thoughts. And then she opened her eyes and found Trazzak standing in the doorway of the room, just inside the heavy force field that protected everyone from her germs. Jess blinked, wondering if maybe she hallucinated the big Xaravian.
But clearly Maisy saw him, too, because slowly she got to her feet and retreated so Trazzak could approach the bed.
Jess wanted to apologize for what she said. She’d meant every word, but her anger was more with Vaant than him. She opened her mouth to say something — maybe another accusation, if she was being honest — but Trazzak held up his hand to stop her.
He stood next to the bed and folded his arms over his chest, his expression deeply uncomfortable as he watched her. Jess braced for something devastating. Instead, Trazzak took a deep breath. “I do not understand what happened between us. I had not felt like that before, and I assumed... well. I assumed a great many things, it seems. That is my fault. My expectations were clearly different from yours, and that is fine.”
Jess’s heart sank. This sounded like a “breaking up forever” kind of conversation, even though there wasn’t really anything to break up. Despite what happened on the bridge, part of her sort of yearned for a second chance. That all of it could be re-done and they could ignore or sweep aside the other bullshit.
“I’m not going to follow you around begging for your favor,” he went on. “It’s not who I am, and that’s not what you want. If I were to decide, I would want to try again. To feed you and protect you, and learn more about you. Maybe drag you back into my bed.”
Her eyebrow rose and a hint of a smile crossed his face. Trazzak cleared his throat. “But I digress. That would be my choice, but I do not know if that would be yours. So I will do something that drives me crazy and I will step back. This is up to you now. This is your choice. Decide what you want to do — whether that involves me or not, the ship or not, the rest of the crew or not. Make things up to Isla and the rest of your colleagues, if you can. Prove your innocence or admit your guilt. Figure out what the hell you want to do with the Ministry.”
“If I live that long,” Jess said. It hurt to say, but she didn’t want him to think she’d be lingering in a clinic as she debated her choices. There wasn’t much time to do anything.
Trazzak’s frown deepened, but he didn’t deny that time also got a vote in what her choices looked like. But the Xaravian just shook his head. “Be that as it may, I have a great deal of business to take care of and work to complete for the crew. I can’t wait forever for you to decide. It’s up to you.”
Jess stared at him as Trazzak nodded and then headed for the door without another word. What the hell was that about? Did he show up just to kick her while she was down? The choices he’d listed weren’t great ones at all. More like a penance and confession to consider on her deathbed. Jess snorted and pulled the sheet up over her face. She wanted to think it was a typical Xaravian ultimatum, but she’d never heard of a warrior suggesting such a thing. They took what they wanted.
She didn’t look up as Maisy reappeared and leaned on the mattress so she could poke Jess’s side. “Well?”
“It wasn’t anything. Just wanted to remind me once more to consider confessing or making my peace with the rest of you.” Jess pulled the sheet back to glance at her friend. “You can go back, Maisy. I’ll be fine here. You might need to keep an eye on Frrar, if he starts messing with the cutter like he suggested yesterday. They’ll call you back when the results come back or whatever.”
Maisy’s eyes narrowed. “Are you trying to get rid of me so you can try something drastic?”
“What? Me?” Jess tried to put on her shocked face, but failed when Maisy’s expression soured. Jess almost laughed. She held up her hand. “I’m serious. I’m not planning anything. I just need some quiet time to think. That’s it.”
The doctor didn’t believe her, and Jess didn’t blame her for a second. She wouldn’t have trusted herself, either. But Maisy leaned to give her a hug and a jaundiced look. “Fine. I’m not falling for anything, I’m just starving and Frrar was going to make lunch on the ship for me. I’ll be back in a snap, though, so don’t think you can haul off and do something crazy like escape or anything.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jess tried to smile. “Enjoy lunch.”
Maisy retreated, though Jess could hear her reading the riot act to someone in the hall about letting them know the second the doctors received a certain set of scans. Jess held her breath until Maisy’s voice faded away, then she swung her legs over the side of the bed so she could pace. It was more of a hobbling limp, in reality, but Jess wanted to move. She thought better on her feet, and at least part of what Trazzak said was right — Jess had a lot of choices in front of her. She had to figure out what the hell she wanted, and start moving in that direction. No more second-guessing or regrets or bullshit. It was time for her to seize the day, and the rest of the universe had better buckle itself up.
Trazzak
Trazzak didn’t linger in the clinic. The scent of medications and cleaning supplies overwhelmed his senses and nearly drove him mad, so he retreated to the ship to figure out what Frrar managed to accomplish with the relays. Trazzak tried to keep the image of Jessalyn in the isolati
on ward out of his mind. She looked so frail and weak, as if she wouldn’t survive long enough for them to even try an antidote or discover the cause.
Just as Trazzak reached the bridge, the communicators lit up and Vaant’s face loomed over the viewing screens. Trazzak resisted the urge to make a face and instead sat in the captain’s chair as he received the call. “How is everything on the Galaxos?”
The captain rubbed his chin, hesitating before he answered, but before he could speak, Isla’s face appeared in the viewer as well. “Where’s Jess? Is she okay?”
Vaant’s long-suffering look made it clear he’d been dealing with the same line of questioning for some time, and perhaps the call to Trazzak was the breaking point. Trazzak managed to hide a smile behind his hand as he leaned back. “We’re at a clinic near Dablon Seven, one of the neutral facilities that serves everyone. They’re supposed to have a great deal of expertise in neurotoxins and venoms and that sort of thing. Maisy recommended it. Barnes is inside being treated.”
“Treated?” Griggs leaned over and almost elbowed Vaant in the face. “What do you mean, treated? For what? How?”
“We just arrived. They’re still running tests, as far as I know. Maisy is with her.” Trazzak didn’t know whether the women knew about the accusations against Jessalyn, but he didn’t want to waste the opportunity to get more information from Vaant. “Any additional insight into those signal bursts you were concerned about? Any more attacks against the Heisenberg?”
Griggs’s expression immediately darkened, so Trazzak figured she, at least, knew exactly what he was talking about. The security officer answered before Vaant could marshal his thoughts. “We haven’t identified the source of the messages, nor their point of origin. We’re narrowing it down to one of the bases here.”
“So you’re certain it wasn’t Barnes?”
Isla’s eyes narrowed. “Of course it wasn’t her.”
“We don’t know that for certain,” Vaant said, earning him glares from both of the Earthers. The Xaravian refused to look at any of them. “Vrix and the technical crew are still evaluating the information. It would have been useful to have Frrar still around to help with the tinkering.”
“What about Macleod? She’s a better engineer than the kid.”
The dark-haired engineer leaned over and obscured Vaant completely from view. “Thanks, but no. I’m not about to assist in pinning a bunch of bullshit on Jess when she hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Vaant growled and the screen cleared until it was just him once more, his massive arms folded over his chest. It just made Trazzak want to laugh more. “We are discussing the way ahead.”
“Send me the star dates and time groups for the messages, so Frrar can cross-reference them against our activity here.” Trazzak glanced over as Frrar moseyed onto the bridge, and gestured for him to sit. “We had no success obtaining the weapons system. It’s not going to happen unless we want to sell the Heisenberg.”
“I knew it was a ruse,” Griggs said under her breath. She leaned into view once more. “Any signs of an ambush? Are you sure they aren’t going to storm the clinic? Did you tell anyone where you were going?”
Trazzak didn’t like being interrogated by anyone, much less the prickly security officer. “No to all. Vaant, any sign of the Xerxh bounty hunters?”
“None,” Isla said. “I want to see Jess. Can you get a communicator in to her so we can talk?”
Trazzak traded a look with Vaant, debating whether that was a good idea. It might upset Jessalyn enough to get her heart going and cause another attack, or it would just make it more difficult for the rest of the Earthers to accept that she was dying or a traitor. Or neither. He rubbed the back of his neck where the scales rattled, and exhaled. “I don’t know if they’ll allow it. She’s in an isolation room right now until they determine what the danger is.”
A small half-truth, but told for all of their sakes. Griggs didn’t believe him, from the look on her face, but Trazzak didn’t care. He needed to sort through his feelings about Jessalyn, since they didn’t seem to be going away on their own, and having the security officer and the rest of the Earthers clamoring to talk to her only made things more difficult to process.
“We should fly out there,” Isla said abruptly. “We should be there with her. Regardless of what we think might have happened, it’s not right to just —”
“She’s been in contact with the Alliance,” Frrar said. He held up the relay with an air of regret. “Through separate channels. We don’t know why yet. So it’s probably best that you don’t endanger any more ships.”
They all went still in the viewing screen, and Vaant’s expression grew grimmer still. “How long ago?”
“Not that long ago.” Trazzak exhaled. “She still denies everything.”
Griggs shook her head. “I want to see her face. I can tell when she’s lying. We can sort this out quickly, no bullshit.”
Trazzak doubted it, since Jessalyn had clearly been lying about a lot of things over the last few years, and so far none of her colleagues had a clue. At least they were far enough away that the Galaxos couldn’t reach the clinic easily and wreak more havoc before Trazzak could get to the truth.
But they stared at him through the viewer, so Trazzak had to say something. He cleared his throat and motioned for Frrar to keep his mouth shut. “I’ll check with the doctors on how and when she’ll be able to talk with you. Maisy will be in touch.”
Vaant nodded. “Thanks, brother. Let us know if you need any assistance.”
“And you. Stay safe.” Trazzak cut the transmission as soon as Vaant raised his hand in farewell, not wanting to create another opportunity for Isla or Griggs to prolong the conversation.
He turned to look at the engineer. “We need answers, and fast, otherwise we’ll have a pack of angry Earthers chasing after us. Show me how you’ve got the relays set up, and what else we need to do to turn this back on the Ministry. I’ve had enough of this.”
The engineer held up the relays and started to explain how they worked, and Trazzak did his best to understand the complicated technology. They might only have a single opportunity to set a trap and spring it, or prove Jessalyn’s innocence, and he didn’t want to be the asshole who blew it. Either way, they were all running out of time.
Jess
Jess didn’t know what to think after Trazzak left. Everything grew quiet and still in the room and up and down the hall, so nothing distracted her from the myriad of conflicts tearing her apart. She didn’t even know where to place her loyalties anymore. The Alliance, the rebels, just her crewmates, herself... Nothing seemed clear.
She once thought the only reason she’d leave the Ministry was in order to have a family; the risks were just too great to do both at the same time. But she couldn’t very well think about having a family or even a serious relationship if she was on the run from the Alliance and the rebels alike, with bounty hunters around every corner. If she defected to the Alliance, chances were the Minister wouldn’t ever let her be a serving information officer ever again, since obviously they’d never really trust her. The Ministry would likely exile her to a distant planet, but at least she could live the rest of her life peacefully. It wouldn’t be a bad thing, really.
A fresh start. Jess took a few deep breaths and let the idea settle in her heart, testing it out. She could find a new path, and follow her compass somewhere far away. Wiping the slate clean and walking away from everything she knew, after resolving a few things with the Minister, and being done with the past held a certain appeal. That assumed, of course, that the Minister hadn’t known about what Witz and some of the other captains did under the table, exploiting underdeveloped planets and sacrificing their crew for personal gain. Jess would do her part to expose all of that corruption, and then she could walk away without any regrets.
Fleeing to a neutral planet somewhere beyond the rebellion’s reach grew more and more appealing. She could start over as a teacher or a pilot or engin
eer or any of the half-dozen other occupations she’d pretended to hold over the previous ten years. A new name, a new place... no coldhearted Xaravians to make her feel things she didn’t want to feel.
Jess daydreamed about all the possibilities, although Trazzak kept popping up occasionally, and focused on breathing evenly. She was still in a near-daze when a large figure strode through the isolation curtains into the room. She didn’t recognize him as one of the doctors or specialists, but so many aliens had been through her room that she couldn’t keep any of them straight. At least this one was Xaravian, with a few scars on his face.
She started to sit up, frowning. “What’s the next —”
He didn’t speak as he reached the machines attached to her and started to disengage them. A few alarms blared, and somewhere far away, someone shouted. Jess’s heart sped up. What the hell?
She tried Low Xarav as she dodged the Xaravian’s grip on her arm. “What the fuck are you doing? Who are you?”
The man still didn’t speak, and as Jess flailed and started to scream, everything shifted. The Xaravian dragged her to a floating gurney and strapped her down as if she hadn’t offered even token resistance, and Jess raged as she felt whatever control she’d wrestled away from Trazzak being ripped away. Maybe he sent the Xaravian to deal with her, instead of taking care of it himself. She bared her teeth and managed to bite the asshole when his attention lapsed, though she nearly broke a tooth on his scales.
The Xaravian cursed and shoved a mask over her face as he dragged the gurney into the corridor. He held a weapon out, threatening the few doctors and nurses who braved the isolation wing as more alarms blared out, and all of them retreated. She didn’t blame them. No one would fight a Xaravian to save her.
Jess kicked out and tried to get a leg free, lifting her head to shout at the doctors. “Get Trazzak. From the cutter. Call them, please, you have to —”