by Layla Nash
Vaant and Vrix bared their teeth in fury, and Griggs tore herself away from Jessalyn long enough to eye them both. “I’ll contact the internal investigations division once we’re back on the Galaxos. You two simmer down. This isn’t a time to act rashly; if we make it known we’re looking for rats, they’ll flee before we can catch them.”
Trazzak agreed with her, even if he only wanted to find the rest of the traitors and strangle them with his bare hands. He searched for the rest of the information Vaant needed, certain he was forgetting something, but paused as someone squeezed his shoulder.
Mrax was in full doctor mode as he eyed Trazzak’s bloody robes. “Frrar wanted to make sure you got some attention as well. Something about a knife wound. Stand up for me, brother.”
“It’s just a scratch,” he said, summoning as much dignity as he could. Trazzak tilted his head at Jessalyn. “And I’m not leaving. It’s fine.”
“You’re turning gray,” Isla said doubtfully, though she hid halfway behind Vaant as she said it. “We’ll stay with Jess if you need to be patched up.”
Trazzak clenched his jaw. “Like I said, I’m not leaving.”
Mrax’s cheerful smile never slipped. “Then hold on to your decency.”
Before Trazzak could object, Mrax flipped open his robes to reveal the massive wound in his side. Isla blinked and her cheeks reddened as a great deal more of Trazzak ended up exposed as well, and Vaant abruptly covered her eyes. Griggs chuckled, poking Vrix in the side, but the other Xaravian didn’t look nearly so amused as he dragged his mate away. Trazzak didn’t care; he adjusted his robes to cover more of himself, and gave Mrax a dirty look.
It took far too long for Mrax to treat the wound and check over the rest of him, even more so when one of the clinic doctors returned and objected to a “half-trained medic” treating patients when there were doctors around. After Vrix prevented a brawl from breaking out after the easy-going Mrax lost his temper, the clinic staff largely left them alone. The room returned to quiet as Vaant ordered Frrar back on the Galaxos, though they didn’t dare move Jessalyn for a while.
And Trazzak remained beside her, watching her breathe.
Jess
She woke some time in the night; her fingers drifted over the scales in his wrist, and Trazzak jolted awake as if shocked. He drew his chair closer to the bed so he could brush the hair back from her face, and Jess closed her eyes so she could turn in to his touch, glad her hair wasn’t tied back in that severe braid. “How do you feel?”
She blinked slowly and looked at the room behind him, feeling dazed. “What happened?”
She coughed as soon as she spoke, and Trazzak jumped up to get her water. His robes flared and then immediately fell in a heap on the floor, giving her a generous look at his tight backside as he retrieved the water, and a nice long look at his equally naked front as he returned. It wasn’t until he sat back down and saw her trying not to laugh that Trazzak realized his robes remained on the chair when he moved.
He tried to smile as he adjusted himself. “Just wanted to get your heart rate up.”
Jess sipped the water, though she couldn’t hold the cup herself, and took a while to gather her thoughts. His naked body, sleek and muscular and lithe under the beautiful scales, certainly got her heart beating, that was for damn sure. “Did the antidote work?”
“So far, yes.” Trazzak started to relax as he watched her, and Jess wondered at how close things must have been, if he looked so worried. “They don’t know if there are any permanent effects, though. Maisy said something about physical therapy to make sure you rebuild strength, but it’s too soon to know about any of that. How do you feel?”
“Terrible,” she said. Jess tried to lift her head but didn’t get far; Trazzak immediately jumped to nestle another pillow behind her shoulders. And forgot again that he hadn’t put his robes on, so he gave Jess a good look at all of his scales. She smiled but managed to keep her eyes on his face. “Do you have some pants or something?”
Trazzak laughed. “Sorry.”
He tied the robes tighter, wincing as he maneuvered what looked like an injured arm, and slid still closer to the bed. Jess hoped it wasn’t too terrible a wound, otherwise they’d both end up in sickbay for weeks. Not that she would mind that, really.
“What do you remember?”
“Not much.” Jess took a deep breath as all the uncertainty and fear crept back into her heart. “The Minister gave me a choice to go back to the way things were before, if I’d make a statement about it being Isla’s fault, or returning to the rebels so I could report on them. It sounded so easy. He said there was only one other option — doing nothing. Waiting for the toxin to take over and end things.”
Trazzak grumbled in irritation, trying to move closer. He reached for her hand and stroked her forearm, and Jess sighed as some of the worry retreated.
“He thought it was death waiting for me,” she said, and suddenly everything cleared. She focused on Trazzak and started to smile, holding up her arm so they could both see the compass, still guiding her to the right path. “But I knew it was you. I knew you’d find me. Even if it was just to make sure I lived to stand trial.”
He snorted. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“A tested sense of honor is a valuable thing,” she said, and reached to touch him once more. Electricity raced through her at the gentle rough texture of his scales. Jess studied where their fingers linked. The words grew harder to say as a knot formed in her throat. “I didn’t like who I was when I worked for the Ministry. I wanted a fresh start, a new mission — but not with them. Here, with my crewmates and the rebels and maybe... you.”
“Maybe?” He waited, head tilted, but no judgment or urgency in his gaze. She knew he would wait forever, if she needed him to.
Jess fought back the fatigue that threatened to drag her eyes shut and steal away her words, and tightened her grip on his hand so she stayed anchored. “I want to start over. With everything, really, but mostly with you. No lies, no stories, no games. I want the truth. For the first time in a long time, Trazzak, no lies.”
“I’d like that, too,” he said, and rested his chin on the mattress near her shoulder.
She took a shaky breath and tears burned her cheeks as she tried to touch his face. She didn’t deserve a second chance, after all she’d done to enable the Ministry and its crimes, but Jess knew she could still do good in the universe. She would dedicate herself to evening the score, to raising up those the Alliance pushed down. She could atone for all her sins, if she worked hard enough. “I’m sorry, Trazzak. For everything. I don’t know how you can possibly forgive me, but I hope that —”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Trazzak leaned so he could kiss her, stopping the torrent of words that flowed out of her with the gentle crush of his lips. He smiled and rested his forehead against hers, their noses bumping. “And if either of us should be asking forgiveness, it should be me. I was a colossal idiot, blinded by my own rules. I should have trusted you and believed what you told me. I’m sorry that I did not.”
Something tight in her chest eased. Maybe it would work out. Maybe they could actually have a fresh start. Not that she knew what that looked like. Jess couldn’t stop touching his cheek, running her nails over the slightly-raised scales. “How do we do this? I don’t think I’ve been on a real date in years. Or been in a relationship in... ever.”
She flushed to admit it, but she meant what she said about no more lies. Her past was in the past and she wasn’t going to be ashamed of it.
Trazzak sat back a little bit and Jess swallowed disappointment about losing that connection, but he only got far enough to carefully take her forearm in his hand, in the warrior’s grip. He shook twice, expression grave. “I am Trazzak, one of the warriors of Xarav. I’m the second-in-command of a pirate ship, and we are rebels in our spare time. I am dedicated to defeating the Alliance, and I follow the rules. I have five sisters, who I think you will like very muc
h.”
Jess’s vision blurred again and she had to clear her throat to make sure she could speak intelligibly. He was so sweet it almost made her teeth hurt. “My name is Jessalyn, but everyone calls me Jess. I used to be an information officer with the Alliance, but now I’m between jobs. I don’t have any family other than my crewmates. I’m not sure where my path will take me, but I’m really, really looking forward to finding out.”
Trazzak never looked away, his eyes flashing like mercury. “It is very, very nice to meet you, Jessalyn.”
“I’ve been waiting to meet you for my whole life,” Jess whispered. Her heart skipped and her voice caught, and she had to squeeze his arm until her fingers ached to find the strength to keep talking. “Thank you for finding me.”
“I’ll never lose you again,” he said, and kissed her.
She believed him, one hundred percent, no matter where their paths led.
Epilogue
Jess only stayed at the clinic another few days, then the doctors asked all the Xaravians to take their business elsewhere. Apparently having barbarians running around with daggers and robes and scowls reduced the number of patients willing to stay at the clinic. Jess didn’t mind for a second, since that meant she got to recuperate on the Heisenberg instead of in a drafty and exposed hospital room.
It didn’t make recovery any easier. Her arms and legs refused to cooperate most of the time, and she still got exhausted with very little exertion. Dizziness struck when she least expected it, until Maisy only half-jokingly suggested that Jess wear a helmet wherever she went to avoid any additional head injuries. Griggs thought it was hilarious.
Jess gritted her teeth and focused on getting her legs to cycle the pedals on a stationary bike, her thighs burning after only a few minutes. Everyone got their sense of humor back once it became clear Jess would survive the toxins and Trazzak would survive his wounds, and the overall mood improved by leaps and bounds when Griggs and Vrix finally identified the sons of bitches responsible for selling information to the Alliance. Between the two comms clerks at the rebel base that provided rebel beacons to the Alliance and the network that Yurik established to gather information for the Ministry, the rebellion had been practically riddled with traitors.
The rebellion’s internal investigations division was still kicking over rocks and questioning anyone who looked suspicious, so Jess knew it was possible that more betrayal would come to light. She was relieved every day that she didn’t have anything to do with any of it. All she had to focus on, according to everyone, was getting better.
And figuring out what the hell to do with all the bounty money.
Jess caught Maisy watching as she slowed her pace, and rolled her eyes when the doctor shook her finger in Jess’s direction. She sighed and started pedaling faster, wishing she could just think her way back to better endurance and strength and balance. Maisy still didn’t know exactly what kind of toxins were in the witch’s brew they stuck Jess with, nor what worked in the antidote, but the clinic continued to deconstruct both compounds. Jess considered investing some of the bounty into medical research, but hadn’t come up with a plan yet. There were so many options she couldn’t think about it for more than a few minutes without getting overwhelmed.
The poison definitely slowed her down and forced her to work at a slower pace with pretty much everything. It got frustrating, but it also made her appreciate the good things in a deeper and more genuine way. Trazzak certainly appreciated it.
She glanced around the gym, a little surprised he wasn’t there already. Usually Trazzak showed up to rescue her from Maisy’s torturous physical therapy in time for a lunch date. Jess blushed at just the thought, and hoped she could blame it on the stupid exercise bike. She’d never been wooed before. It was strange all around, and it seemed like everyone else on the ship enjoyed it just as much as she did. The Xaravians had a field day teasing Trazzak, calling him “grandpa” for his old-fashioned manners, and all of her crewmates took on the role of collective older sisters, protecting her heart and reputation. Not that she had much of a reputation to worry about.
The Heisenberg retreated to rebel-held space to wait out the storm of arrests and trials, which gave everyone far too much time on their hands. Somehow there were always chaperones in the cafe and mess hall when Trazzak took her to dinner, and at least half a dozen loiterers when they walked on one of the upper decks with a wide view of space. He’d come up with a variety of activities, all of them low-effort and low-stress, to get to know one another, but Jess still preferred their quiet walks. She felt comfortable for the first time in a long time, not just with him but with herself.
Jess finally stopped pedaling. She barely had enough energy left to walk to the shower and back to her room — a tough lesson from the first day of physical therapy, when she overexerted herself and had to be carried around for the rest of the day. She gripped the bike and wobbled upright, shaking her head when Maisy asked how many miles she’d gone.
She hobbled toward the locker room to shower and clean up, figuring she could head over to the communications office for a few hours before taking her standard nap. Adhz and the engineers were working on a new comms suite for the Heisenberg, the Heva, and Galaxos, and asked for her help in deciphering how the Ministry relays worked. Jess appreciated the work, even when it made her head hurt to listen to the engineers argue about switches and quantum circuits and boosters and Einstein only knew what else.
Jess heard Maisy enter the locker room while she was in the shower, the doctor calling out something about leaving clean clothes for her, but Jess was too focused on staying upright on the slippery tile to pay much attention. So it was a complete surprise when she stepped out and saw a beautiful set of lavender Xarav robes hanging up over her locker. Jess’s heart tripped as she looked at them, and dredged up a distant memory of her and Trazzak on the spaceport, negotiating for robes with the kind Xaravian merchant.
And yet again her cheeks burned, for no reason other than she remembered how Trazzak looked at her. How he’d kissed her and carried her out of there. She cleared her throat and wrapped her hair up quickly, wondering what the hell Trazzak had in store for her that required Xarav robes. Her stomach clenched in anticipation. She had one idea.
They’d kissed — a lot — since she got out of the clinic, but Trazzak hadn’t made a move past that. Jess didn’t mind the slow approach, though it was getting to a point where she thought her blood would boil over every time he touched her. She’d even started dreaming of him, of that first night together, and woke frequently drenched in sweat and tangled up in her sheets, wishing they were his arms instead.
Jess fumbled with the soft undergarments and the layers of fabric that made up the robes, and tied the belt in a hasty knot as she shoved her feet into her shoes. She still limped as she left the locker room, wondering if she’d have to search for him in some kind of sexy scavenger hunt, but Jess stopped short when she saw Trazzak waiting just outside.
He smiled and her heart warmed along with her cheeks, and something sparked in his silver eyes. “You look beautiful.”
“The robes do all the work,” she said, and managed to turn in a slow circle without tripping. Jess frowned down at the belt, though, holding on to it as the fabric slipped. “But I still don’t think I got this right, and I don’t want to flash anyone, so...”
“Let me.” Trazzak hesitated for half a second, then went to one knee in front of her so he could easily reach the belt.
Jess’s breath caught at having him so close to her middle, his hands moving gently against her waist and stomach. She wanted him so badly she couldn’t think straight. Her hands rested on his head for balance as she swayed, and Trazzak steadied her before gently pulling the belt tight. “Over and then under, then back around. It will get easier.”
“I’m sure it will,” she managed to say, though she cut off when she caught Vrix and Mrax, across the gym, staring at them both with stunned looks. Jess’s heart started to race
as she looked down at Trazzak, wondering what the hell it meant if it shocked his friends so deeply, but before she could ask, he stood and squeezed her hand.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“More than this?” Jess looked down at the robes, doubtful she could walk very far with the long, heavy fabric. “Are you sure?”
“Very sure. It’s not far.” He led the way out of the gym, waving Maisy off when it looked like the doctor would follow, and kept his pace slow so Jess wasn’t out of breath by the time they reached one of the larger viewing rooms on that deck of the ship.
The viewing rooms could be used for virtual reality and training, entertainment, relaxation, almost anything. Jess hadn’t explored the options on the Heisenberg, but she’d often practiced languages in the viewing rooms on the Argo. She gathered the robes as Trazzak opened the door and led her into a completely different world.
She rocked back on her heels, mesmerized and disoriented as the triple suns of Xarav hung low on the horizon in front of her, and desert sands spread as far as she could see. Jess stumbled but Trazzak caught her waist, holding her steady, and Jess stared up at the domed sky above them. “This is — amazing.”
“It’s a simulation, of course,” he said. He carefully guided her around a pile of cushions and carpets and blankets, avoided a few trays laden with food and drinks, and helped her sit on an even larger pile of the softest cushions she’d ever found in one place. Trazzak eased to sit next to her, letting her lean back against his side as she gazed up at the sky and stars appeared. The first sun descended below the horizon. “I come here to relax when I miss home. I wanted to take you back to Xarav, to show you the real deserts, but it was not advised with your health. Perhaps soon.”