by Jacob White
“Is what I'm doing wrong, Gibi? My thoughts With Anna?”
“That is hard for me to answer. Time has no effect on me, but I will say this. I have had many chances to bed other women, but my heart still only calls for one. I'm also not at death's door such as you. You will all be together again in the afterlife, in peace if we succeed.”
“What does that mean?”
“I told you, it's hard for me to answer this question for you. There are two sides. One; you wish to feel a woman. I cannot blame you. On the other, you go crazy, alone, and without Les.”
“Could you bring her here if I asked?”
“It is within my power, but she would have to be much closer to avoid suspicion from my brothers and sisters.”
“Thank you for the truth, but I don’t think I could leave her again if she came. I sure as hell don’t want her to see me go crazy.”
“I understand, Weaver, and know this: I will aid you in what ways I can when your mind begins to unravel.”
“I'm scared, Gibi… not of doing what is right but dying alone.” I opened my eyes to look at Anna.
“But you are not alone. Remember this, and you will be all right.”
We didn’t talk secretly after that, but I did get out of the tub when Anna fell asleep. I was careful not to wake her and went over to the table to eat and drink.
“Could you move her after I fall asleep?” Gibi Furrowed his brow. “It's just tonight. I feel weak and not sure I could say no to her. I know she wouldn’t force me into anything, but she also wouldn’t be able to say no if I asked.”
“I can, but you should be aware that after a battle, it was the best time to be with those whom you loved. There is much more passion and tenderness knowing that you had almost died. Well, not me, of course but my partner did. It made it all the better in the end. I'm not telling you to do this, it was just some information I wanted to give you.”
“Why thank you, Gibi, for making this even harder.”
“You’re welcome, young Weaver.” I took another drink and the mood became somber again.
“What if I kept the stone, and went through this myself to recapture Liam?”
“Well you already know about the odds of that happening, but yes, it is possible. Once again this is a choice you must make. Are you willing to risk everything on the chance you might survive another day with those you love? Or would you want those you love to have another opportunity to love when this is all over?”
“You could have just said no.”
“I could have, but that is not why you ask me questions.” I took another long drink. Gibi, and I talked for a few more minutes as Anna awoke and joined us, much to my despair. We drank long and hard trying to forget the hounds. We tried to comfort each other with words but I still felt empty after the attempt. Gibi had left long ago leaving Anna and I to ourselves.
“Anna. Why do you want to be with me? Even knowing I’m with Les.”
“It’s no secret how I feel about you. I just always thought we had time. Since the first moment with Les it became harder and harder. Now you are about to die, and I will mourn you for the rest of my life. I just want to feel you against me Weaver. I love you so dearly. I know what you feel for Les and it does bring me shame knowing I have pushed you towards kissing me. It’s just… I don’t know. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it myself.
“I do understand. I just told Gibi how afraid I was of dying alone. But it’s good to know you will be there.” After we were good and drunk, she grabbed my hand and took me to the bed.
“Anna… I can’t resist tonight… I’m so tired and drunk.”
“Then don’t.” Her lips were on mine as she climbed on top of me. My fingers dug into her back. It was all I wanted, to know what it was like to be with a woman before I died. I tried to justify any way I could think of but Les just came back to my mind. Her slip and my top were gone. My hands were on her breasts, which fit perfectly into my hands.
“Anna, we have to stop…” I pulled her down, so her body was against mine. I felt her heavy breathing in my ear. “Les… and, other reasons we can't.”
“What other reasons. Were you and Laila?”
“What! No!” I pushed her up, and she pulled a blanket up her chest. “It's just that, I've never…”
“Oh…”
“Yeah… besides from that, there's Les… even though I’ll never see her again.”
“I'd just assumed you and Les… especially after that night in camp.” I smiled as I heard Les’s desired effect was accomplished.
“No, never… but not for lack of trying… The night of the fire we had tried, then another in the castle but events just kept happening. I just thought it wouldn’t be fair if I slept with you but not her.”
“You're still punishing yourself I see.” She rolled over back to her side and looked at me as I turned to meet her.
“Yeah… I suppose I am…”
“If it matters, Weaver… I haven't either.”
“Oh… wow… okay.”
“What do you mean, ‘Wow, Okay?’. You have been with me for almost my entire life. I didn’t exactly have more free time than you.”
“No, no, I meant nothing by it. It's just funny is all. I have been with you all my life… at a whorehouse… and Les destroying my image at every chance, but I still never did anything.” She smiled.
“I suppose it is, isn't it?” I grabbed the wine off the table. Anna stared at my naked form as I came back. I handed her a cup as we both sat up.
“I'm not sure I can handle another cup.” I poured her just a little. She leaned up and kissed my forehead, making me smile.
“I would like you to promise me something, Weaver, before you’re too drunk and do not remember.”
“If I can, I will.”
“Well, I know what we are headed for. You will likely never see Les again after…” I knew where this was going… I wasn’t sure what to answer. “But if we could just once, one night... have one another without worry or misgivings of our choices. If you could somehow be able to do for me… I have always loved you. Being with you would be the best memory I might ever have.” I wiped the tear from her face and kissed her.
“I will willingly give myself to you. As much as you make my life difficult, I'm glad you have always been in it, regardless of the past.”
We curled up to each other and without even finishing the new glasses we had poured we fell asleep holding one another. It brought me back to our days at the Yezmon. All of us sleeping in that small back room.
I awoke to light and Anna’s leg across my own. I stood to cover her. I didn’t have another dream last night. However, I still felt tired. I rubbed my face and found dried blood under my nose. Gibi made himself known.
“You still dreamed, you just don’t remember this time. As usual, you convulsed, Anna woke you and held you. I'm starting to get jealous of all these women falling for you.” He Gibi smiled at me as he handed me water.
“Did I mention anything when I awoke from the dream?”
“No, but as usual there was a pain. I am sorry, Weaver, I cannot do more. I have risked much already securing Laila’s mind.”
“There is no sorry needed. You picked the right one to save. In a few days, I will be nothing.”
“No, you will always be something. I can promise you that.”
“We should wake her and get going.” I insisted.
“I agree, The Herosi troops will arrive this evening along with the rest of your party. It will be easier to slip into the city in the morning without more troops at the gate. Also, I will be sending Laila to you tonight. I know you will resist but your condition has advanced faster than we thought it would.”
“Okay, even if I didn’t want her to come. I'm sure you already told her of your plans.”
“You're getting to know me so well.” I started to dress. As I slipped a leg into my bottoms the room began to spin. I fell face first into the hard-covered floor. My vision wouldn’t stop movin
g as Anna ran to my side.
“Weaver? Talk to me.” I pushed myself up and shook my head in an attempt to right my vision. I opened my eyes again and the room came to a stop.
“I’m fine. Just dizzy.”
“No, Weaver. That was more than a dizzy spell. I saw your glassed eyes. Gibi, we must get Laila here now.”
“No! We will see her tonight. Gibi has already arranged a meet. No reason to give our hand away if we have to.” Anna helped me into my pants and Leathers. I sat at the table while she dressed as well.
“Weaver, you look like death. Are you sure you can go on?” Gibi asked.
“We don’t have a choice.” I stood and walked to the open air. I tried to feel the magic in the air as I once did. Instead of calm it was replaced with a dull touch. After we made our way towards the Twins, Anna brought up the haze.
“Gibi, I feel the haze getting closer once again.” I listened to Anna speak as I reached out as well. “That must mean it is contained to someone in our camp.”
“That’s what I thought as well. However, I searched for days but found nothing. Unfortunately, right now we don’t have the time to worry about it but I'm sure we will see soon enough.”
“You know, I have never traveled outside of Herosi.” I said, looking to Anna as we walked.
“Of course, I know. But you did go out of the city gates. Remember that circus that was visiting and how mad your mother was when we came home well into the night?” I started to laugh.
“I do. I thought for sure she was going to kick us out with as many threats we received. She didn’t even let us rest that night, remember?”
“I believe I was stuck cleaning baths and you had to fix the used bedrooms that were already empty.”
“Yeah… but it was worth sneaking out. We just shouldn’t have been throwing rocks at the visitors.” Gibi jumped in on the conversations we had of our past. Asking questions, he very well knew the answers too.
“Anna! Do you remember the man from when we were around 14?” I said too loudly.
“Why yes Weaver. Was he drinking? Or perhaps waiting for his turn.”
“Funny.”
“I’d like to think so.” I ignored her.
“No, the man who managed to—" Gibi bent at the knees and lost all control of his laughter.
“Weaver… how is that even possible?” Anna laughed at Gibi’s reaction.
“I believe I know who you are referring to now. Flo was leading him up the stairs. He tripped and nearly cut his dangly bits off on the loose board.” I joined Gibi in his laughter as we reminisced about our past. The light conversations went on until we arrived at the gates when the sun was at its highest.
“I will meet back up with you later tonight. Use the dead bird and gold to secure a big room, just for this evening. If they ask, just tell them you’re meeting up for a potential trade or some nonsense.”
“Gibi… Why would we need a big room?”
“The bigger the room, the larger the tavern, and the more significant the tav—” Anna cut him off just as she would anyone else.
“The more people. It's almost as if you have been around for a while.” Gibi smiled at Anna.
“It does seem so, doesn’t it?” He said.
We waited in a long line as soldiers inspected people coming into the tall stone walls of the Twins. The mountains behind it dwarfed the whole city. I became lost as I gazed at the snow tipped peaks. Only for it to be ruined as people from all over bumped me into Anna. We both covered our mouths as a man in front of us smelt as he never heard of water. We ended up moving a few steps back. We listened intently for any information we could gather. Most of the conversations consisted of trade and livestock.
I distracted myself as I couldn’t help but wonder what everything would look like from up there. We reached the front of the line. The soldier went through his rehearsed conversation without any enthusiasm.
“Do you have anything to declare? Have you noticed any suspicious activity? What is your business here?” Anna answered for us. The guard was staring a bit too long which made me uncomfortable. Anna made it to her advantage, telling him to meet her just behind the gate later this evening. Then we were in.
“Did you need to go that far?” I whispered.
“Well, Les will be here tonight meaning my times up. Just trying to fill the time. He was handsome enough.” She didn’t look at me as she said it, but I had known her long enough to know when she was sad. Her shoulders were lifted showing the world couldn’t touch her. My stomach turned in the thought of Anna with another. We continued walking in silence.
The city itself was a mess. There was no organization to it. Local stalls were all over the place. Some even in the middle of the walkway selling trinkets that could cure boils. There was an older couple selling mating herbs. I had to pull Anna way before she spent the gold she reached for. There were animals in just about every other alley. It hadn't looked as though a war had been here, just people who didn’t care. The price of meat here was outrageous. That could also account for the lack of friendliness we ran into at every turn.
Anna asked for directions to a tavern. The man she asked just spit at her feet telling us to ‘Piss off’. I could almost see the people’s empty stomachs through there passionless eyes. There were two tall buildings that I'd assumed belonged to noble’s household looking over the city. From afar it looked as the only clean place in the city.
The only thing going well about this was today was no one even cared to look at a tired man with a shorter woman. I tried to focus on reaching out with my magic to see if I could sense anything or a pull somewhere, but it never came. Finally, Anna broke my concentration.
“This should be good. Not too far in but not far enough out to be garbage.” She followed me in. We were able to secure one on the top floor. We walked in and setting our packs down. I sat on the bed, rubbing my hands through my hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing and that’s the problem. I can't sense anything. No pull to go anywhere, I'm looking for a single man in this mess of a city. Gibi has given me nothing to go on.”
“It will all work out, Weaver. Have faith in Gibi as well as yourself.”
“Gibi you say? I don’t even think he knows the person we are seeking.” My tempter was short, and Anna didn’t deserve my anger. “What am I even doing!”
“Calm yourself Weaver. You are exhausted, broken and bleeding from your nose. Maybe if you calmed your nerves, your sight could better distinguish who you need to find.” I stood and wrapped my hands around her. This time I didn’t feel her affection as I usually would. She was pushing herself away from me.
“You’re right. I'm just tired. I’m sorry.”
“Okay well, I'm going to take a bath. I'll be back soon.” She went behind the screen getting ready for a bath.” That short explanation left me alone in the room.
“Why the modesty now?”
“I'm just trying to make this easier on both of us.” I couldn't say anything after knowing she was right.
It was incredible how one day I was running a whorehouse and the next I was a crazed sex fool. Eventually, the housemaid brought up water with two others, and I heard the bath fill. I put my back on the bed with my feet dangling off.
“Laila, is everyone well?”
“We are. We will arrive perhaps at nightfall.”
“I hear we are going to see one another tonight.” I replied.
“Yes, I hope so. I am worried about you, Weaver. We all are. Truly, are you okay?”
“If I'm honest. I don’t know. I’m a mess but I can explain later tonight.” She once again filled me in on Les’s condition and how she could no longer hold off sleep. Dirk had to ride with her for two days to prevent her from falling off. I felt so bad for what I did to her, but I don’t want her last memory of me bleeding out and rambling one second then crying the next. I wasn’t even sure I could handle it when it happens. Before I knew it, I had taken a bath after Anna and nigh
tfall came. We made our way downstairs to get a table in the middle of the room. We ordered a basic dinner, the primary being soup with a potato in it. We then ordered ales to wash down the hard-uncooked potato. My body wanted to reject anything that brought me comfort. Such as a single potato. I could feel how weak my body had become. I have shed weight I didn’t even know I had. I focused on the thought of sleeping instead.
“Do you think we could summon the tent in the room?” I asked Anna.
“I believe that we could. There is enough space and anyone who comes in wouldn’t be able to see us. Could confuse them if they are there to harm us.”
“Okay, we should try then later, that way Laila will have a place to relax after she helps me. If she stays the night, I will sleep on the tavern bed.”
“Weaver… that defeats the whole purpose of using the tent.”
“Yeah… I guess it does. I'll think of something.” Laila finally came in. Her eyes held slight pockets. Dirt was smudged on her face. Every step she took looked forced. Anna waved her over and embraced her when she came. I did the same before she could sit.
“It is good to see you both, but, Weaver, you look…. It is much worse than I thought.”
“How so? I just have bags, right?”
“No… your eyes are bloodshot. You’re pale as if you lived inside all your life and been sick at the same time. You could even pass for the living dead to some after a few drinks.”
“Well thank you. You look beautiful.”
“That’s not—”
“I'm kidding. I know what you meant.” I squeezed her hand gently. We stayed for another ale to avoid what suspicion we could. They headed up the stairs first as I waited. Gibi soon found me and sat across from me.
“Gibi!” I whispered. “Isn't someone going to recognize you?”
“No, they can't see me. If they stare at anyone, it will be you talking to yourself.”
“Could have told me that.”
“And ruin the expression on your face? I couldn’t. It’s the small things we gods live for.”
“Is everyone okay? Shadow Hound sightings?” Anna asked.
“As a matter of fact, there was. The others were seen outside of camp by a stationary guard. They still do not act. I don’t know what they are looking for. If they were going to attack the opportune time would have been it was just us the first time they came.”