by Myers, AJ
My totally unfazed expression had him muttering something not quite gentlemanly under his breath. Seriously, I couldn’t understand why Grams’ exodus from Moonlight was such a big deal. Hell, she had already left me. What did it really matter if she was in town or not?
“I really don’t care, Tyler,” I told him in a dead-sounding voice, sliding down a little further in the tub and crossing my arms over my chest. “So she’s gone. Big deal.”
“Ember,” Tyler said in a warning tone.
“What’s the good news?” I interrupted before he could start on another ‘You’re not quite dead, so stop acting like it’ pep talk.
“Nathan’s coming home.”
If he was expecting tears of joy—not that I could accommodate—he was in for a disappointment.
“Em?” Tyler said when I just stared at him in horror. “Hey. You okay, beautiful? I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy?” I repeated, my voice trembling. “The last time he was here, I tried to kill him, Tyler! I tried to kill the man I love more than my own life! And you’re bringing him back for round two?”
“That wasn’t you, Em,” he said softly.
“Really?” I snapped. “Funny, she sure as hell looked like me.”
For a long time, he just sat there and studied me. After a few seconds, I wanted to shrink and crawl down the drain, never to be seen again. I wondered what he was thinking as he looked at me. Was he seeing that video in his head? Was he watching me snarl as I tried to claw my way toward Nathan?
Was he finally starting to see that that had been me, after all?
“It’s all right to be afraid, beautiful,” he said softly just at the very moment when I was about to jump up and run.
“I’m not—” I began, but he cut me off with a shake of his head.
“Sell your crap to someone who buys it, Em,” he said gently. “And just for the record, that’s not me. I see your fear every time I talk to you. I see it in the way you cringe away when I touch you. You don’t understand what’s happening to you and you’re scared. And that’s okay.”
I looked away before he could see the truth in my eyes. He was wrong, I wasn’t afraid. I was terrified. What would Nathan see when he looked at me? How could such a beautiful man ever love me? How could someone so good and decent ever want the thing I’d become?
“He’ll be here day after tomorrow,” Tyler said, grabbing my hand and hauling me to my feet as he stood up. “Now. Get up and move around. Take a shower, read a book, watch a movie, text Kim—who, by the way, is driving me mad asking me why you haven’t called her. Do something, beautiful. You might not have a pulse, but you’re not quite dead yet.”
Giving him a disgusted look, I pulled my hand free and went back into the bedroom—where I crawled back into bed and pulled the blankets over my head.
Day 6:
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse...
I wonder how a fairy would fare after being put in a blender…
Fairy smoothies. Yum.
I spent the night before Nathan was scheduled to come home alternating between fear and terror. Just the thought of facing him scared the shit out of me. The thought that my demon double would make another appearance…
Yeah, that’s where the terror came in.
Thanks solely to Tyler’s incessant nagging, I got out of bed the next morning and got my stuff together to take a shower. Even though I kept telling myself that I didn’t care, I was careful to look my best. I put on Nathan’s favorite jeans and a gauzy gold shirt he’d once told me he really liked. Thanks to my new undead status, makeup wasn’t necessary, but my hair definitely looked like it could use a little help.
I was running a brush through my curls when I caught sight of the mark on my neck in the mirror. Dropping my brush on the counter, I leaned forward and traced the pearlescent outline with my fingertips.
I had once hated that mark with my entire being. To me, it had meant that I had lost control of my own life. And if Nathan had been a true monster, I would have. With that mark he could make me do, believe, see, hear, or feel anything he wanted me to.
I can see something in that mark that you can’t, he had once told me. I can feel the beauty of the bond it formed between us. And if you would only forgive me, maybe you would feel it too.
And I had, only it had been too late to tell him. He had saved me from the lost plane with that mark. He had used it to drag what was left of my soul back from the ghouls that would have devoured me.
I just hoped he wasn’t sorry for it.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered to my reflection. “What do you say to a guy you tried to suck the life out of?”
Hindsight being what it is, talking to the mirror probably wasn’t my best idea ever. In my defense, though, I really hadn’t expected an answer. My reflection hadn’t talked back to me since my first day as a dead chick.
As luck would have it, she picked that moment to change her mind.
“Well, you could tell him what a pathetic loser you’ve become since then, I suppose,” my reflection suggested, that evil smirk firmly in place. “Miss me, twinkie?”
I yelped in surprise and jerked away from the mirror. That just made Evil Ember’s smirk a little more…well, evil. Determined not to let her get the best of me, I steeled myself against the instinctual fear the sight of her caused and rolled my eyes.
“Hardly,” I scoffed, glad to hear that my voice only trembled a little. “You can’t miss something that isn’t really there. You’re just a figment of my imagination. Go. Away.”
“Oh, now, Em,” she said in a mock whiny voice. “You know you don’t mean that. We’re going to be besties, after all. Forever.”
“Not likely,” I muttered. “You see, I already have one of those, too.”
She shrugged at me and smiled and I felt a chill go down my spine at the sheer darkness I saw in it. It was like looking into Bastian’s eyes. Though she was the perfect replica of me, there was something missing. It took me a minute to figure out what that something was, but when I did I shivered again.
Humanity. Compassion. Mercy. The girl in the mirror? She didn’t have them.
“So,” she said, hopping up on the vanity on her side of the glass and stretching her legs out in front of her. “Tell me, Ember. When are we expecting that yummy boyfriend of ours?”
“Go to hell,” I snapped.
“Been there, done that,” she crooned with a shrug. “Nice place to vacation, but it doesn’t have the right curb appeal for a permanent residence. I don’t have to worry about that now, though, do I?”
“We’ll just see about th—”
“What the hell are you doing, Ember?”
No! I cried silently, closing my eyes in horror. No, please, don’t let him be standing there. Please.
I wasn’t getting that lucky. Even with my eyes closed, I knew he was there. I could feel the connection humming between us. His scent, so unique, was suddenly filling the room like the most delicious perfume. And that voice. His voice was like music to my ears.
“You’re talking to it?” Nathan demanded, that silky voice turning hard in anger. “Damn it, Em! You can’t talk to it!”
“It?” I gasped, spinning around to face him as my eyes flew open. “You can see it?”
“Yes,” he snapped, glaring over my shoulder at my double. “You’re turned around looking at me. And so is she.”
He pointed over my shoulder at the mirror behind me and my eyes followed involuntarily to find my double studying us with avid curiosity. I shivered at the sight of the smile on her face.
Did I really have that many teeth?
Trying to ignore the thing in the mirror—who I had a bad feeling was taunting me behind my back—I pinned my gaze on Nathan and kept it there. Only then did I notice the aura around him. He was wrapped in a cool, silvery aura of light, like the halo I had seen around Tyler that first day. It pulsed around him with such vitality that I found myself
staring in complete awe.
“Wow,” I whispered, wishing I could reach out and touch that pretty light around him.
Unfortunately, that light was making me feel like I was suddenly starving. And the aroma coming off him…Oh. My. God. I had never smelled anything so delicious. Even Tyler hadn’t smelled that good.
Oh, hell. Not good.
“Are you all right, beautiful?” Tyler asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and moving a little closer to me.
Was I all right? No, probably not. But as I continued to stare at the aura of color around Nathan, continued to breathe in that intoxicating scent coming off him, I found I didn’t care so much.
I let my eyes slide from the top of his dark, shaggy hair to carefully trace his beautifully sculpted face, lingering on his full lips as I vividly remembered taste of them. When I finally tore my eyes from his mouth, I let my eyes drift lower, over the muscular chest and shoulders snugly encased in his favorite black t-shirt, then lower to his narrow hips and long, muscled legs. With each inch of him I took in, that scent became more potent
“Ember?” Tyler tried again, waving his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my trance.
“I’m good,” I told him, trying to keep myself from staring at Nathan—and failing, as usual. Seriously, he was just too hot for his own good. And now, with that hypnotizing halo around him…. Yeah. Can we say totally yummy? Unfortunately the word ‘yummy’ now had some rather unpleasant connotations for me. “I’m just a little…overwhelmed, I guess.”
“I’m an ass,” Tyler said uncomfortably, shooting a worried glance at Nathan when I kept staring. “I should have explained about the mirrors. Then you would have been prepared to deal with it.”
It’s too bad you couldn’t prepare me to deal with this, I thought when Nathan still wouldn’t look directly at me even though I was practically staring a hole into his forehead.
He might have come home, but he didn’t seem happy to see me. Sad? Wary? Yeah, those I bought. Happy? Not even close.
No sooner did that thought cross my mind than I experienced the same throbbing along my mark I’d experienced as he used our link to pull me back from the arms of the lost plane, only on a much gentler scale.
Followed by an experience I really could have done without.
What are you doing, you fool? Nathan’s voice said in my mind, hard and angry. She needs you, and you’re standing there staring at the wall like you can’t even stand the thought of being in the same room with her.
My mouth popped open and refused to shut again just as his eyes shifted to my face. What the hell had that been all about? Had I just…?
No. Oh, nonononono! For one thing, I didn’t want to hear Nathan’s thoughts. I never had. Besides, I couldn’t have…right? I couldn’t read minds.
He tilted his head and studied me intently, his eyebrows drawing down in a frown that was getting darker the longer he stared at me. For some reason, I got the impression he was listening for something. Something he wasn’t hearing.
Wait. Was it possible that he couldn’t hear me anymore? No, that couldn’t be right. I had never been able to shield my thoughts from Nathan—and, believe me, I had tried. No, I had to be imagining things. He was probably just looking for his soul mate, that girl he’d fallen in love with.
I wished him luck with that. I wasn’t sure there was much of that girl left.
“If it’ll make it easier for you, you can leave,” I told him softly. When his eyes shot up to meet mine, I cringed. This time, I was the one who turned away. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”
She’s still in there, his mental voice said, washing through my mind again accompanied by a note of hope that…well, kind of hurt. She’s still her.
“That’s debatable,” I muttered.
I took a deep breath and started to ask him to leave—before we made each other more uncomfortable than we already were—but before I could open my mouth, the most delicious aroma I’d ever encountered assaulted my senses. It wasn’t his usual scent or even the scent that had started my stomach growling only moments before, but something so much more intense that my mouth started to water. It was like sunshine and honey and coffee and chocolate and everything else I’d ever loved. It was so sweet, and I wanted it. I wanted it like I’d never wanted anything else in my entire life. More than that, I needed it.
When I lifted my eyes back to Nathan, I saw that the aura around him had altered ever so slightly. There was something else moving through the silver now, like little swirls of light. And the more that light flooded through the silver, the more potent that scent became until I felt insane with the need to just get a taste of it—of him.
Go ahead, a dark little voice said in the back of my mind, my voice, but with a coldness to it that made me shiver. He’s right there, ripe for the taking. It’s just a taste and I’m so hungry.
“Nate, why don’t you step out for a second?” Tyler suggested, a tinge of panic in his voice. When I started moving toward Nathan, captivated by the light still flooding his aura and that scent that I couldn’t resist, Ty actually started shoving him toward the door. “Now, Nate! Go!”
Nathan shuddered from his head to his feet, like he was just waking up from a dream. He stared at Tyler, who was still trying to push his unmoving form toward the door, confusion written all over his perfect face. When he turned back to me again, there was something in his eyes I had never, ever, wanted to see.
Fear.
He was afraid of me. And, to my horror, I realized I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except that wonderful aroma he was putting off. I had to have it. I had to. I was actually in pain from wanting it. It felt like my entire body was shriveling in on itself, and the only thing that could save me was—
“Ow!” I yelled as a sharp, stinging pain flared in my right leg just as Nathan practically sprinted from the room. I turned to see Tyler pulling a syringe out of my thigh—which he had jabbed right through my favorite jeans. I gave him an accusing glare as I tried to rub the sting out of my leg. “What the hell, Tyler!?”
“Better?” he countered, peering into my eyes like he was waiting for my eyeballs to explode or something.
I felt as weak as a kitten as the extra shot of Nexus he’d dosed me with swept through my veins in an icy rush, cooling the desire I had to chase Nathan down. It also eased that terrible shriveling in my veins and I realized I actually did feel better.
Only then did I realize what I had just done. I had wanted more than Nathan’s body as I tried to get to him, that was for sure. If Tyler hadn’t been there...
“It’s okay, Em,” Tyler crooned, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me when my body started to shake with dry, heaving sobs. “It’s all right, beautiful.”
But it wasn’t all right. It didn’t even come close to being all right. The love of my life was afraid of me, and I couldn’t blame him. Twice now I had tried to feed on him. The first time I might not have been myself. But what about this time? I had known what I was doing, but I hadn’t been able to stop.
I had to find a way to fix it. It was the only way I would have a chance at making things right with Nathan.
It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself.
It was time to take my life back from the demon who’d stolen half of it.
It was time to fight back.
And to do that, I was going to need a little help.
Chapter 5: The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions
As it turns out, I wasn’t the only one who thought I needed help. Apparently Tyler and Nathan had decided it was time for drastic measures, as well.
I never saw it coming. If I had, I would have stopped it. I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t have a plan of my own…well, sort of. Even if I hadn’t, I had friends—very powerful friends, in fact—to help me. All I had to do was ask.
Of course, that was turning out to be a lot harder than I had anticipated. Seriously, how do you as
k someone to help you learn not to try to have your boyfriend as a snack?
I was in the middle of typing my hundredth variation of that very question to Kim—that would probably only get deleted like the last ninety-nine had—when I heard a soft tap at the door. I immediately froze when Nathan’s scent drifted to me from across the room, debating whether to answer or not.
Nathan hadn’t come anywhere close to our room since he’d fled from me the day before. Just the thought of a repeat performance was enough to make me hesitate. I wasn’t any closer to finding a way to not attack him, and I didn’t think I could bear to see that fear in his eyes again. It was just too painful.
“Em?” he called through the door after I had sat there staring at it for a few minutes. “Can I come in? I have someone I want you to meet.”
“It’s open,” I told him, jumping off the bed and running a hand through my hair nervously.
I felt a twinge of panic when the door opened, bathing me in a tidal wave of the scent I loved so much. That panic immediately turned to something much more unpleasant when I saw the woman standing by Nathan’s side.
“Em, this is Sierra Lovell,” Nathan said, smiling warmly down at her as he made the introductions. “Sierra, Ember Blaylock.”
Honestly? I hated her on sight. Why? The fact that she was wrapped around my boyfriend’s arm like a poison ivy vine the first time I saw her was probably the reason for that.
Oh, she looked pleasant enough, don’t get me wrong. Actually, she was kind of stunning. Her waist-length hair was a combination of honeys and mahogany with just a touch of auburn in the right light. She had the kind of slim, athletic—yet very feminine—build that most of the girls I knew would sell their souls for. Her face was perfect, with high cheekbones and a wide, full mouth that probably drove the guys nuts. But it was her eyes that really mesmerized you, a startling combination of blue that looked silver.
She was dressed completely in white. White coat, clingy white silk top, white slacks that looked like they’d been painted on. White, fur-trimmed boots completed the ensemble, molding to her calves like they’d been made for her.