by Myers, AJ
Easier for me? He thought he was making things easier for me by acting like I didn’t exist? Oh, that made perfect sense! Oh, no, don’t explain why you’re acting like the world’s biggest asshole. Just act all cold and unapproachable and count on me to just know that you’re trying to help me. Sure. Why didn’t I think of that?
“So you’re telling me it was for my own good?” I growled, glaring up at him through narrowed eyes. “Have you ever heard the term ‘digging your own grave’, Nathan? Because, seriously, buddy, you’re about ten feet deep right now and you just keep digging.”
“That was one of the reasons, yes,” he mumbled, still not quite meeting my eyes.
“Do tell,” I drawled acidly.
“The other is that I was furious with you,” he said softly, letting his eyes drift closed for just a second, like he was ashamed of admitting that to me. “You didn’t have to die, baby. You could have just let things take their course, but you didn’t. You had to play the hero and run into that circle to save your friend. Even when you felt Bastian ripping your soul to shreds, you wouldn’t let Jack go. I admit it wasn’t exactly rational…but I felt like you’d chosen him over me. Over us.”
He couldn’t have shocked me more if he’d stripped and started dancing around naked. For a second, I didn’t know what to say. Then, I started to get angry myself. Like really angry.
For months, I had torn myself apart, thinking he didn’t love me anymore because I was a darkling. For months I had fought for and then mourned for what we’d lost. But it had been him and his jealous caveman mentality that had been tearing us apart the whole time.
“So…what? Destroying me was your revenge?” I snarled, ripping my arm out of his grip. “Is that it, Nathan? You were pissed that I loved my friend enough to not want to see him eaten by Netherworld ghouls because of your personal demon so you thought you’d see how many ways you could find to make me pay for it?”
“No!” he cried as I turned to walk away, moving to block my path.
“Get out of my way,” I hissed. “You don’t do that to someone you love, Nathan. You don’t sit there and watch them die a little more every day just because you don’t like their choices.”
“Em, I need you to—” he began, wrapping his hands around my arms to hold me in place.
I stopped trying to get away from him as a single word of what he’d said penetrated through the haze of red in my mind—and then turned it such a brilliant shade of crimson that it looked like the world had been covered in blood. Need. He needed me? Where had he been when I needed him? Where had he been when all I needed in the whole world was a single kind word from him or his arms around me?
“Do I look like I give a damn what you need, Nathan?” I screamed, pushing him as hard as I could. “Did you care when I needed you? God, I loved you so much. You were everything to me. But when I needed you most, you weren’t there!”
“I know, Em,” he whispered. “I know, baby. And I’m so sorry. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Don’t even bother, Nathan,” I told him coldly, pulling my arms free again. “I don’t want to hear it, anyway.”
I turned on my heel, preparing to teleport before I actually killed him. He grabbed hold of me again just as I felt the pressure squeezing my chest, and when I opened my eyes and saw where we were I wanted to howl in frustration. Somehow, I had ended up in Nathan’s living room. I had been thinking how badly I wanted to go home, and my mind had betrayed me and taken me straight to my own personal Hell instead.
Giving the house around me a sour look, I stomped down the hall to the bedroom where I had left all of my things. Hopefully my phone would still be there. If someone didn’t come and intervene, I was going to kill him.
Nathan was two steps behind me, breathing down my neck, when I slammed the door of my room open hard enough to cause it to stick in the wall behind it. I spotted my phone on the dresser. I snatched it up and started scrolling through the numbers so fast I could barely read them, searching for Kim’s.
If she wanted to kill him, he was all hers.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Nathan crowed, plucking the phone out of my hand.
I heard the casing crack, but I wasn’t prepared for what he did next. His hand wrapped around my phone and he crushed it into tiny pieces! My mouth fell open in furious shock when he opened up his hand and a storm of plastic and little technological parts rained down from it. When I glared at him again, he simply smiled.
He had killed my lifeline! Oh, he was so going to get it!
“You don’t get to run from me anymore, Ember,” he growled. “You’re going to listen to me or kill me. Pick one.”
“You are such a liar, Nathan,” I hissed back, standing on my tiptoes so that my face was so close to his we were practically breathing the same air. “You told me if I gave you a shot at explaining—which, by the way, you suck at—you would leave me alone. I kept my end of the bargain and now you’re holding me hostage. And I wasn’t running. I was calling in a rescue team for you, you mentally impaired meathead! You’re going to need it if you don’t get out of my way.”
And what does he do? He kisses me! And I’m not talking about a little peck, either. His hand wrapped around the base of my skull, fisting in my hair, and he laid a kiss on me that made me forget how to think.
“Now tell me I don’t love you,” he murmured, breathing hard, when he pulled away.
I couldn’t tell him anything because I was too busy staring at him. His aura was lit up so bright it was practically blinding, all those little swirls I had seen before blending together to form a light so brilliant I would have compared it to the sun. And that scent! I nearly passed out from the perfume he was putting off. Even with a fresh dose of Nexus in my system, the demon still screamed and clawed at me, trying to get me to feed as that aroma drove me insane. Seeing the look on my face, Nathan’s eyes suddenly lit with understanding and I watched as his lips turned up in a bitter smile.
“You see it, don’t you, Ember?” he asked. “All those pretty little lights that make your darker side go ape-shit? That’s love. That’s the only reason someone’s aura lights up like that. And you see it in mine, don’t you? Come on, tell me you don’t. Just don’t get mad when I tell you what a liar you are.”
“I need to leave,” I told him, trying not to breathe. I was frantic to get away from him, but he wouldn’t let go. “Please, Nathan,” I sobbed when he just tightened his hold on me again. “I have to leave! Please!”
I would not feed on him. I was tied to him so tightly I couldn’t escape him as it was. I wasn’t about to give him any more fuel to add to that fire. There was too much for me to think about, too many things I would have to get over first. But if I was going to get away from him, I had to do it immediately.
“Not until you tell me the truth,” he said, holding me closer instead of letting me go. “Tell me, Ember, or I swear I will hold you right here until you lose control and suck every bit of essence out of me.”
“Let go of me, Nathan!” I screamed, fighting his hold with all my strength. God, why couldn’t I have become a vampire? At least then I would have been strong enough to put up a fight. As a darkling, I was only as strong, physically, as I’d been as a human.
“Answer me, baby,” he said, his voice softening to a whisper. “Just answer me and I’ll leave. Do you see the lights, or don’t you?”
“Yes, damn you!” I cried, fighting harder as I started losing the battle against my demon. “I’ve seen them in your aura since the day you came home! The day you rejected me! If that’s love, I don’t think I want you to love me after all!”
“Well that’s too damned bad,” he said, letting me go and backing away. I had to force myself not to go after him. “I do love you, and I always will. Not just half of you, Em, all of you. And one day, you’re going to forgive me. When you do, I’ll be here waiting for you.”
Then, just as I was about to give in to my inner demon and sta
rt sucking the life right out of his smug little ass, he gave me one more long, scorching look and turned and stomped out of the room.
Chapter 21: Show & Tell With Ainsley
I stayed where Nathan left me for the longest time and then decided it was time to go. Kiss or no kiss, nothing had really changed. There was still too much standing between us. I didn’t trust him anymore. I couldn’t. And losing that trust I’d had in him shattered more than my heart. I felt that pain all the way to the depths of my soul.
I teleported back to Mrs. Amelia’s and right into the room with Ainsley, glad to see that Grams wasn’t there. Seriously, I’d had all the heart-to-heart talks I could take. Ainsley was sleeping like a rock and, very carefully, I pulled back the covers and examined the smooth skin where her wound had been.
Grams had done a great job. All that remained of Ainsley’s injury was a small bruise that was already half-healed. By the time she woke up, she would be good as new. As angry as I was with Grams for binding my powers, I was grateful to her for what she had done for Ainsley.
With nothing to do but wait, I curled up in the armchair next to the bed and closed my eyes for a second. The emotional rollercoaster I’d been on all night had sapped every bit of strength I had. I was too tired to think, too tired to talk, too tired to move.
Ember
I sat bolt upright in my chair again, staring at Ainsley’s face. I had heard her voice, I knew I had. Any other time I might have thought I’d dozed off, that I was dreaming, but that wasn’t really a viable excuse for me hearing things anymore. Figuring I’d just had a really long night, I settled back in the chair and closed my eyes once more, trying to find anything close to resembling my center.
I want to show you, Ainsley’s voice said, jerking me upright yet again. I studied her face once more, but she was still sound asleep. Her eyes were moving rapidly behind her closed lids and I realized she was dreaming.
I jerked back in my chair, giving her a wary look. Did she know the risk she was taking, asking me to join her in her dreams? I didn’t want to be a semi-demonic parasitic voyeur, and I definitely didn’t want to feed on her. But I was taking the chance of doing just that if I accepted her invitation.
Please, Ember. I need to show you.
There was a flutter of desperation in that thought and felt myself wavering. I chewed on my lip nervously, watching Ainsley’s face as her eyebrows drew down in a frown. I mean, it was different if you were being invited in, right? It wasn’t like I was invading her dreams without her consent. She was asking me to see what she was seeing.
My question was, why?
Still not sure I was doing the right thing, I slipped into her dreaming mind, trying to ignore how uncomfortable I felt being a fuzzy outline there. I held my breath, refusing to feed on her essence even though the demon inside me was practically trying to claw me apart to get to it. I was there to observe, not take something I hadn’t been offered. And, damn it, that was all I was going to do.
The dream I fell into was so real. It was like I had accidentally teleported myself somewhere else, somewhere not so complicated. Once I adjusted to the glare of the sunlight bouncing off the water, I found myself awed by the beauty of the view stretching out before me.
The lake was large and sparkled like diamonds under the summer sun. It was surrounded on three sides by trees, giving it a secluded cove kind of feel. I longed to take a deep breath, to smell the scents of clean water and rich earth, but I managed to keep myself in check. It was hard, but I did it.
As far as dreams go, this one isn’t half bad, I thought to myself, smiling and turning my face back up to the clear blue sky and the rays of the sun beating down on me. Not half bad at all.
“Ainsley! Kinsley! Come on girls! It’s time to go!”
I spun around, looking around for the woman who was calling out to the girl I had saved only hours before. She was standing at the edge of the lake, her light blonde hair blowing around her face. As I watched, she brushed the strands away from her cheeks and laughed, staring out at the lake. I followed her gaze to see two kayaks speeding toward the bank.
My eyes bugged out when I recognized Ainsley…and Ainsley! They were identical twins! They had the same slim build, same long blonde hair, matching sparkling blue eyes. They were literally copies of one another clear down to their smiles. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen. Ainsley had yet to develop that hardness I had seen when we met. They both looked fresh and innocent.
“Aw! Come on!” one of the twins whined, scowling, when her sister made it to the bank only a breath before her. “You cheated, Kinsley!”
“Bullshit!” Kinsley called back and then smiled at the frown on the face of the woman on the bank. “Sorry, Mom! I didn’t cheat, though!”
“Watch your mouth, Kinsley,” her mother told her, shaking her head with a stern frown in her daughter’s direction. “Ainsley, stop that whining. Your sister didn’t cheat. She won fair and square. Now, you girls put those kayaks on the rack and come on. Your brother and his team are back.”
Everything changed with those words. It wasn’t that the sun wasn’t shining as brightly or that the heat had gone out of the day. No, it was the expressions on the girls’ faces as their mother turned and walked away. Where before there had been laughter, there was suddenly fear.
“Why is he back so soon?” Kinsley whispered, the sound carrying on the wind, as they lugged their kayaks to the rack and stored them. “Do you think they burned that poor woman?”
“The Great and Powerful Trey Hamilton?” Ainsley snorted, trying to hide how afraid she was. “You know he wouldn’t be back if he hadn’t caught her.” She glanced up the trail her mother had disappeared down, her expression hard, but her eyes betrayed her fear right before she whispered, “God, I hope they didn’t bring her back. I can’t watch them burn another one. I don’t think I can stand it.”
Kinsley turned to face her, her eyes wide with dread, and my heart went out to both of them. I knew what it was like to feel like that. It wasn’t a feeling I would have wished on anyone.
“What are we going to do, Ainsley?” she whispered, walking over to take her twins hand, the kayaks all but forgotten where they’d dropped them. “We can’t keep it a secret much longer. One of us will mess up, they’ll find out.”
“We have to leave,” Ainsley answered, squeezing her hand. “It’s the only way, Kinsley.”
The scene blurred and I reached up to rub my eyes, thoroughly confused by what I had just seen. What could they have been talking about? What secret had they been hiding that would make them afraid of their own brother? When I dropped my hands I was standing in a dark cave. The only light came from the opening where Ainsley and Kinsley were crouched, peering around the edge like they were afraid they were going to be seen.
“Are they gone yet?” Kinsley breathed, gripping her sister’s arm so hard that her nails were almost puncturing through her shirt.
I don’t know how I knew which was which, but I did. At least one year had passed since the scene at the lake. The innocence I had seen on their lovely faces then was gone. They looked tired and haggard, all light and laughter gone just like the sun had disappeared to be replaced by the moon.
“No, they’re out there waiting for us,” Ainsley whispered, her eyes hardening in anger. Maybe that’s how I had known which was which. Kinsley was obviously scared, but Ainsley just looked pissed. “We’ll have to wait and hope they go to sleep. If they don’t, we’re screwed. We’re trapped in here, Kinsley.”
“Yes, my love, you are.”
I had to force myself not to gasp along with the twins as a familiar voice echoed through the cave. Ainsley shoved Kinsley behind her and pressed her against the wall as she glared at the vampire sauntering toward them. She was protecting her twin with her own body, the way I had seen Zan protect her only a few hours before.
Zan looked different and I frowned as I watched him walk toward the girls. It took me a second to realize what the
difference was, but then I noticed his scar was gone. I had assumed he had that scar when he was turned. If what I was seeing was right, he hadn’t had it long at all. That didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Vampires heal from any injury. What on earth had happened to him to scar him like that permanently?
Silver, I thought, remembering the scar Bastian’s knife had left just over Nathan’s heart when he’d stabbed him as they fought over me months before. Somebody cut him with something made of silver.
“No!” Ainsley snapped when he reached out to touch her, slapping his hand away. “I trusted you, loved you, and you betrayed me! How could you, Zan?”
“I didn’t betray you,” he told her, frowning, the words ringing with genuine confusion. I had no doubt he was a good actor when he had to be, but he wasn’t that good. Whatever she was accusing him of, he hadn’t done it. I would have bet money on that. “I didn’t, Ainsley. I don’t know how he found out. I’m here to help you, love. I can get you out of here. You and Kinsley.”
“He’s lying!” The hissed denial came only a second before a ball of Witch Fire flew toward him. Zan ducked just in time to keep it from taking his head off. “Don’t believe him, Ainsley! He’s working with Trey!”
Holy shit! They were witches! No wonder they’d been terrified of their brother learning their secret. I’m sure he would have been furious to find out he was brother to a couple of witch twins. I mean, this was a guy who had made killing witches his life’s work.
“I’m not, love! I swear!” Zan whispered, looking stricken, as Ainsley lifted her hands, Witch Fire flickering up her arms.
He was telling the truth, couldn’t she see that? It was so clear on his handsome face that it was painful. But Ainsley, consumed by her fear for herself and her sister, thinking she’d been betrayed by the man she’d loved, couldn’t see it. The scene changed again just as she hit him in the chest with both hands.
When color and light seeped into the dream again, I was in a cell. Ainsley and Kinsley were huddled together in the corner. Their hair had been cut off, and they were so bruised and bloody that I couldn’t tell which was which anymore. I gulped back a horrified sob when I saw the abrasions on their wrists, wondering what had caused them. There was a smell in the room with us, like scorched flesh, and I saw that one of the girls had been burned with something. Moving closer, I saw a brand on her neck in the shape of a pentagram.