by Myers, AJ
I don’t know how long I knelt there before the sound of footsteps and a combination of Nathan and Tyler’s scents alerted me to the fact that my family was coming for me. I tried to lift my head to warn them to stay back, that I was too hot, but I couldn’t. I could barely move anything. Even my eyes hurt.
“Em?” Nathan murmured, sounding worried. He had reason to be. “Baby, are you okay?”
“Too hot,” I mumbled, trying to tell him what was wrong in as few words as possible.
“She has to turn it off,” Tyler said, a trace of panic in his voice. “Em, you have to turn it off now, beautiful.”
It sounded like he was edging closer to me, and that gave me the strength to lift my head. When I looked up, it was Nathan’s eyes I found and stared into.
Slowly, because it hurt so damned much I wanted to scream, I turned and looked at the others. My family, my friends, the people who had loved me and cared about me and cheered me on when I wanted to just give up. They were all there, and I saw the horror on their faces as they saw that my power was killing me, heard the sharply indrawn breaths.
Looking from Nathan to Tyler to Grams to Kim to Blake, I whispered the only two words needed to tell them everything and watched as sheer terror filled every face.
“I can’t.”
Chapter 39: Supernova
“What do you mean, you can’t?” Kim demanded, borderline hysterical. “Just… stop, drop, and roll!”
I smiled weakly. I had already stopped. I was probably about a second away from dropping, too. But I honestly didn’t think I had the energy to roll. If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have told her so.
“Ice water worked before,” Mrs. Val said, a tear rolling down her cheek. She already knew that wouldn’t work. I knew it, too.
“We could dump an entire ocean on her right now and it would just vaporize on contact,” Grams said, her voice hard. “But there has to be another way. I won’t stand here and watch this happen to her! I won’t!”
The rest of the army had started drifting over, and I watched as they formed a wide circle around me. Skippy pushed his way to the front of the silently watching crowd, and then fell to his knees when he saw me sitting there, the fire eating away the last of my strength. I tried to smile at him and saw his gorgeous eyes fill with blood tears.
Poor Skippy. How long had it been since he’d had a real friend? And now he was going to have to watch me die. It wasn’t fair. Life isn’t fair—for any of us. But I considered it one of my greatest accomplishments that I had befriended the friendless vampire in front of me. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but my time was limited, and getting shorter every second I burned. Therefore, I chose the most important.
“Skippy?” I whispered.
“Yes, my little love?” he whispered back, sounding choked.
“Don’t be such an ass to people,” I told him. I smiled when he let out a short bark of tearful laughter. “You’re a great guy when you’re not being a teenage mob boss. Do you remember what you told me, about darkness eating away at the light in someone being a waste?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Don’t let it have any more of yours,” I told him, watching as a tear slipped down his cheek.
He nodded, swallowing hard, and then he blew me a kiss and got to his feet. He was gone so fast I never even saw him move. To my surprise, Kellum and Zan took Skippy’s place in front of me. I smiled at them, thinking how lucky Nathan was to have them. He was going to need them when I was gone.
“Take care of him for me boys,” I whispered. “I’m counting on you, Zan, and you, too, Kellum. If he hurts himself, I’ll find some way to come back and haunt your asses. I will sing Justin Bieber songs to you night and day until the day you die. Loudly. And I can’t sing.”
Zan choked on a laugh that sounded more like a sob, then got up and ran. Kellum smiled at me gently and followed him.
It wasn’t long before their places were taken by Riley and Mrs. Val, the family who had loved me and treated me like I was theirs. I didn’t even want to imagine the hell my childhood would have been without Mrs. Val’s motherly kindness or Riley’s brotherly love.
Riley just looked at me for a second, and I swear I could see the memories playing out in his head. His eyes filled with tears, too, and, like Skippy, he blew me a kiss and got up and walked away. Mrs. Val stayed, though, tears streaking her face and her eyes full of love, until Kim and Blake walked over and touched her shoulder. She got to her feet, mouthing a silent, “I love you,” and quickly walked away as my two dearest friends took her place.
“Just so you know, I have no intention of crying,” Kim said, rolling her eyes even as I saw the tears start to roll down her cheeks. “In fact, I’m totally pissed at you. You are so rockin’ those wings! Why didn’t I get some?”
“You wish you were that awesome,” I told her weakly. I didn’t have it in me to play our usual game, so I just said what came naturally. “I love you, too, Kim. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a friend like you, but I’m glad I had you, anyway.”
She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. Then, she got up and walked away. Blake and I watched her go, and I felt my heart break a little more when her quiet sob echoed back to me. I turned back to Blake to find him looking at me with such a tender look that it took my breath away.
“It’s all you now, buddy,” I told him, smiling. “You know what to do.”
“Yeah, I do,” he said, getting to his feet slowly. “She was lucky to have you, too, Em. We both were.”
Deep down, I was glad when no one took their place. I was too tired to talk anymore, and I couldn’t bear the thought of saying goodbye to the three people who were left. As I sat there, feeling the heat spike again even though I couldn’t believe I could get any hotter, I found myself thinking about my mother.
I was going to die without ever even trying to make things right with her. Suddenly, I saw her hatred of me in a new light. Maybe, like me, she was just scared. Maybe she just didn’t want me to reject her the way others had her entire life because she was born without the great power our family had had for centuries. Maybe she was just protecting herself. I understood that. And in that moment, I forgave her.
And my father… Dad was going to be devastated when he found out what had happened. I had refused to allow him to fight with us, and I suddenly regretted making that decision for him. If I had agreed, I could have said goodbye. He could have said goodbye. We had come so close to forming that bond between father and daughter, and now we weren’t going to get to complete it. It hurt that we had come so close only to fall short just before we could find that connection.
Voices raised in anger drew my attention, and I forced my head to turn to face the arguing group not too far from my circle of spectators. Grams looked like she was about to explode and Nathan was being held back by Kellum and Mikhail as Tyler argued fiercely with Ryan and Lark. From what I could catch, they were discussing whether or not to put me out of my misery before I set the ozone layer on fire and took everyone and everything out with me. I had to admit, I was approaching supernova level. They might just have a point.
“There has to be another way!” Tyler growled, standing toe to toe with Ryan who was actually looking a little sad. “I’m not going to let you kill her!”
“She’s already dying, Tyler,” Erin said, casting me a look full of regret. “I hate it, but it is what it is. The question is whether or not we’re all going to go with her.”
“It’s okay, Ty,” I whispered even though I knew he wouldn’t hear me. He wouldn’t, but Nathan would. “It’s okay.”
Nathan went so still he looked like a statue. Then, very slowly, he turned his head to look at me, his face crumpling in agony. Mikhail followed his gaze, and I saw a new respect in his eyes. Kellum turned away, I think to hide the fact that the tears he had been witnessing had finally become contagious.
“Please…” I had to stop and find the strength to
finish my sentence. I was so tired. I wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer, and I didn’t want them all to die with me when I went out in a blaze of glory. “Please, Nathan. None of this meant anything if I kill all of you. None of it.
“And I want Ryan to do it,” I said, tearing my eyes away from Nathan’s agonized expression. I even managed to smile when I said, “He owes me one for bitch slapping him into the wall.”
Ryan smiled at me, but I saw real, genuine sadness in his eyes. Maybe I had earned his respect, after all. The admiration in Lark’s eyes, and the sorrow, were hard to miss as he looked between me and Tyler, who refused to look at me at all. Erin smiled at me sadly, not even trying to hide her tears on my behalf. I thought that was really sweet, that she would mourn someone she didn’t even know.
“I love you,” I whispered, turning to face my grandmother. “I always loved you. You were my hero, Grams. You still are.”
“Oh,” she sighed, holding her arms over her chest like she could stop her heart from breaking that way. “Oh, my baby. I love you, too, more than you will ever know.”
“Wait for me,” I said, turning back to Nathan. “Please, wait for me. I love you, Nathan. I don’t believe this is the end for me. I’ll find a way to come back to you, baby. I swear. Promise me you’ll wait.”
He nodded and the blood tears streaming down his face said more than words ever could. Another weak smile worked its way to my lips when Kim walked up and took his hand in hers. They would take care of him for me. They wouldn’t let him destroy himself once I was gone. I was grateful for that. I wanted to have someone to find on my next trip.
And I would be making another trip. I knew it. How? Because standing just behind Lark was a guy I had never expected to see again. He was looking around at my family, my friends, and shaking his golden head back and forth like they were all being ridiculous. Rolling his eyes, he turned back to me and gave me a condescending little smirk, his emerald eyes …amused.
“You’re a real pain in the ass, did you know that?” he asked, tilting his head to look at me.
“Changed your mind, did you?” I whispered, watching as Lark, Ryan, Erin and Tyler turned to stare at Death like he was a giant bug.
“Got new orders,” he said with a shrug, arching both eyebrows at the extremely unpleasant looks the four angels were giving him. I had always thought angels and Death were on the same side. Obviously, I was wrong. “Oh, come on! I’m just doing my job,” he grumbled, eliciting a growl from Tyler and, to my surprise, Ryan. To me, he said, “Look, apparently you’ve redeemed yourself enough to cross over. Of course, we’ll have to stop at processing and pick up your other half, but the bosses have decided you’ve earned a free pass.”
“Lucky me,” I muttered. Every second I sat there, I was just prolonging the inevitable and making my family suffer in the process. Giving him a pleading look, I whispered, “Let’s just get this over with”
“By all means,” Death said, spreading his hands out like he was waiting for me to get on with it. “I suggest you hurry, or I’m gonna have a hell of a time explaining to my superiors why I’m showing up with a whole planet of souls rather than just yours.”
Death might be a total hottie, but the fact that he was a complete prick kind of killed his appeal for me.
Turning back to Ryan, I nodded. My time was up. It was now or never. Ryan held his hand out and a long, gleaming golden bow appeared in his palm while a single arrow appeared in the other. He stepped forward and notched it, but hesitated when it came time to actually do the deed.
“I am honored to have known you, Ember,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion. “Of all the creatures I have ever known, you have been the most worthy of carrying our blood.”
He pulled back on the bow string and I closed my eyes, preparing myself to move…on, I guess. Then, just before I heard the twang of the bow, I whispered, very softly, “I love you, too, Tyler.”
I waited for the arrow to reach me and end my suffering and theirs, but it never came. I opened my eyes to find Tyler standing between us, the arrow caught in his fist. We stared at each other for a minute and I felt that connection again, felt that warm sensation squeeze my heart where it had wrapped around it.
“I know what to do,” he said, softly, never taking his eyes off my face.
“Think about this, Tyler,” Lark said, his voice soft and resigned. “Look at her. If you gave her enough of your blood to give her that kind of power, she may just have the power to kill you.”
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take.” He turned and tossed the arrow back to Ryan who caught it smoothly. “You know what to do if it doesn’t work. Just let me try.”
He didn’t give me a chance to tell him no. Instead, he started walking toward me, unfurling his wings as he came. I watched them expand, glinting bright gold in the radiant light I had become. I saw him wince when the heat hit him, but he just kept walking. Another foot, and the wince had become a grimace. Another few steps and he was clenching his teeth in pain. I wanted to cry when I saw the feathers on his wings start to scorch, turning black and curling up like even they were trying to get away from my intense heat. He didn’t even stop when a few of them started to catch fire, simply groaned and kept coming.
He finally stopped when he was directly in front of me, close enough to touch. His skin was starting to smoke in places, but he smiled at me like he couldn’t even feel it. He dropped to his knees only inches from me and held out his hand, his golden eyes full of the patience and tenderness he always looked at me with.
“Afraid it’s time for another trust exercise, beautiful. You have to give me your hand,” he said, his lips cracking in the intense heat as he smiled. I watched as a drop of blood bubbled up and then started to sizzle and pop. “This only works if you trust me enough to give yourself up to my care. Do you trust me enough, Em?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. He had believed in me when I needed that belief the most. He had trusted me. I couldn’t deny him the same trust. My answer was to lift my hand and place it in his. Just that small act, that tiny movement, caused me to scream out in agony. The second our hands touched, Tyler pulled me forward and into his arms. His wings wrapped around me like a golden dome while his hand held my head against his chest.
Say it one more time, he whispered in my mind. One more time, just for me, Em.
I love you, Tyler, I told him, as the heat of the light I’d become reach its zenith. It wasn’t the same kind of love I had for Nathan, I could never love anyone else the way I loved him, but I loved Tyler, too.
“Thank you,” he whispered out loud as we were sucked into a white, swirling void.
He kissed my forehead as the world exploded around us. I wasn’t afraid, though. I didn’t have to be afraid anymore. I had saved the people I loved. I had avenged those we had lost. It was okay if it was all over. I would get another chance to get it right in the next life. I could drift off into that beautiful light with my heart full of the love I had been given by the people left behind. And they would remember I had loved them. They would know that, when the time had come for me to make the choice, they had meant more to me than my own life.
And, it has to be said, if you’re going to die, doing it in the arms of an angel really isn’t a bad way to make your exit.
Chapter 40: Kindred Spirits
The world came back into focus in blips and flashes of sound and motion. I would feel, even hear, for a second or two, then I would be sucked back into the dark, cool void of unconsciousness. Then the whole process would repeat itself.
My senses came back in stages. First, I recovered the sense of touch. The soft, warm soil beneath my fingertips felt silky against my skin, and I wished I had the strength to run my fingers through it until I reached the coolness just under the surface.
Hearing came back next. People were running around me frantically, their footsteps seeming way too loud to be normal. I could hear panicked voices, but there was somethi
ng else beneath that panic. I tried to name it, but somehow it kept eluding me. I got the impression, though, that something had gone very right…and very wrong at the same time.
Then came the sense of smell. I wrinkled my nose when an acrid burning smell reached my nostrils. Whatever they were burning, I wished they would put it out. It was foul, like burnt skin and…feathers. Damn! Were they roasting birds? Whole? Feathers and all?
“I think she’s waking up,” Kim’s soft voice said close to my head. Oh, if only it had stayed that way. But, of course, because she’s Kim, it didn’t. Her next words were shouted in an excited shriek that had enough volume to cause permanent hearing loss. “Shea! Mom! She’s waking up!”
More footsteps came running, and I was suddenly wrapped in my favorite scent. I flinched as tears, actual tears, burned my eyes as I breathed it in. When they started slipping from beneath my lashes, it just caused more to replace them.
I had never been so happy to be crying in my life!
“Ember? Look at me, baby.”
I tried to do as Nathan ordered, but I couldn’t quite find my way back to the light. The dark was just so…amazing after that terrible, beautiful light that had nearly killed me. Or maybe it had. Maybe that was why I could suddenly cry again. But then, why was I hearing everyone like I was right there with them?
Maybe it was a trick. Maybe letting me think Kim and Grams and Mrs. Val were all there was just the Powers That Be rubbing salt in my wounds. Maybe letting me hear Nathan’s yummy voice, smell his amazing scent, in the afterlife was a cruel trick being played on me to make me suffer for some sin I couldn’t remember committing.