Renegade

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Renegade Page 21

by Heather Dahlgren


  “Yes, I do,” I reply, still feeling completely sexually satisfied.

  “I really want to do a video with you Brooklyn, but only if you are comfortable with it. Just the thought of knowing it’s something we can watch together, damn it’s hot,” he says, tracing my bottom lip with his long finger.

  I thought I’d like to do it before, but after this, I know I want to. “I’m more than comfortable with it, Fitz.”

  He lets out a growl and slams his mouth to mine. We share a rough, sloppy, sexy as fuck kiss before he pulls away. “When we get home,” he whispers and kisses my lips lightly. His cell phone rings and he groans looking at it. “Poppy,” he says and answers it.

  Poppy, shit I almost forgot. I wonder how it went with her and Nate. I should check my phone to see if she texted, but it’s in the living room and if I got up now, Fitz would ask questions. He hangs up and looks at me with a mixture of emotions. I can’t tell if he’s upset, pissed or happy. “What’s wrong?”

  He doesn’t say anything for a minute, just rakes his eyes over my entire body before looking back at my face. “You’re pregnant?”

  “What?” I squeal, grabbing the blanket to cover myself. “No.”

  He stands up and starts pacing the room, squeezing the back of his neck. “Well, that’s not what the fucking photos in all the tabloids say of you buying pregnancy tests.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m going to kill Poppy. He leans down on the bed and looks into my eyes. “I’m going to ask again and you need to be honest with me. Are you pregnant?”

  I shake my head and pick at the covers. “What exactly did Poppy say?”

  “Seriously?” he yells and throws his hands in the air. “You’re worried about what Poppy said? This is unbelievable. I asked for one thing from you Brooklyn, and that was to be honest with me. How could you not tell me? We are supposed to be a team. I never would have let you go get tests by yourself and I sure as fuck would have been there when you took them,” he says with hurt clear in his voice.

  I need to tell him. I can’t take the fall for Poppy, this is something she’s going to have to deal with and I shouldn’t be. “Fitz, I’m not lying to you,” I start.

  “Did you go buy pregnancy tests?” he shouts.

  “Well, yes, but listen,” I try, but he punches the door and walks out.

  I’m livid. Poppy is making it out like it’s me and to call and tell him it’s in the tabloids. Ugh, fuck I’m in the tabloids buying pregnancy tests. Even when I do clear this up with Fitz, the world is going to think I’m pregnant. I jump up and throw on Fitz’s shirt that is on the floor and rush out to the living room. I’m not going down like this. I look around and don’t see Fitz anywhere, even the bathroom is empty. I grab my phone off the couch and call Poppy.

  “Hello?” she answers with sleep in her voice.

  “Why the fuck would you tell Fitz that a photo of me buying pregnancy tests is in the tabloids? He’s pissed, he walked out on me. Fix this Poppy, now,” I yell, pacing the living room.

  “Wait, what? I didn’t fucking call him,” she says, sounding much more awake now.

  “Well if you didn’t, oh wait. It was Nate wasn’t it? You didn’t talk to him did you?” I question, knowing I am right.

  She’s quiet for a minute and I check to see if she hung up. “No, I didn’t. I told you I’m not ready. He must have called from my phone or something, because he’s not here either.”

  Fuck, this is bad. “Poppy, you need to come clean with Nate, because Fitz is pissed at me and that’s unfair.”

  “Fuck,” she whispers and I only feel slightly bad. Right now I’m still pissed I’m taking the fall for all of this. “Fine, but right now we need to pack up because we need to be back on the bus in less than an hour.”

  I shake my head and go back into the bedroom. “I guess I’ll pack. Where do you think he went?” I ask, feeling the sadness wrap around me.

  “I have no idea. We’ll get this taken care of Brooklyn, I promise,” she says and we hang up.

  I quickly pack up our things, not even caring what is clean or dirty. I’m not folding anything, I’m literally just tossing it all in the two suitcases we have. I want to call him, tell him what is going on, but his phone is on the bed. Once I’ve packed everything, I sit on the bed and drop my head in my hands. I start to cry and it feels foreign to me since I haven’t shed a tear in so long. It’s all just too much right now. I’m sad and I’m pissed and I don’t know how else to handle it.

  My phone ringing has me rushing to the living room and I answer without even looking. “Hey chicka, we need to head to the bus,” Poppy says, not sounding a bit remorseful.

  “Really? You don’t even give a fuck that I’m upset over here? It’s your fault Poppy,” I say, looking at the door, wishing for Fitz to walk through it.

  “I’ll take care of it, damn it,” she says.

  “Well, where are Fitz and Nate? If we need to be on the bus, where are they?”

  “I called Nate, he said they are on their way back. He didn’t say where they were, just that they were on their way back,” she rushes out.

  “Oh okay, so you told him right?” I ask, pulling the suitcases into the living room.

  I hear her door close behind her and she says, “Not yet.”

  “Poppy, I’ve never been angry with you before, but right now I’m pissed and hurt. I’ll see you on the bus,” I say and hang up.

  I wheel the suitcases to the door, pissed at both her and Fitz. She should have been honest, but he should have stuck around for me to explain. Opening the door, Will is standing there and rushes to get the suitcases from me.

  “Let me Miss Adler,” he says, taking them from my hands.

  “I’m not pregnant, Will,” I say, shoving my phone and Fitz’s into my purse.

  “It’s none of my business,” he says and waits for me to walk into the hallway.

  I just shake my head and walk to the elevator that will take us to the lobby. When we reach it, I go to the desk to turn in our keys. When the woman looks up at me, she does a double take and gets a huge smile.

  “Good morning, Brooklyn.” I just give her a tight smile and she leans in closer to me. “How are you feeling,” she whispers.

  Unfuckingreal. “Betrayed, are we done here?”

  She doesn’t know what to say and quickly checks me out. I grab the receipt from her and walk out the door with Will tailing me. The bus is right in front and I just get on and sit down, waiting for everyone else. My stomach is in knots with every passing minute, but it jumps into my throat when Nate and Fitz walk on.

  “Hey, Brooklyn,” Nate says with a small smile.

  Fitz on the other hand, just goes to walk past me and I grab his arm. He looks down at me and I see the sadness in his face. I also notice that he is wearing Nate’s clothes and I realize that he left the hotel room in nothing.

  “I need to talk to you,” I say.

  He turns to face me, crossing his arms. “Talk.”

  Ouch. “In private,” I suggest, nodding to the bedroom.

  “I’d rather hear it right here. If it wasn’t for Nate, I wouldn’t even know what the fuck was going on right under my nose,” he hisses at me.

  “Fuck you, Fitz, maybe if you had stuck around this morning you would know exactly what’s going on,” I yell, standing up.

  “Oh shit right. It took a phone call from my friend for you to be fucking honest with me. What if he didn’t call Brooklyn? It’s all so fucked up,” he shouts. It brings tears to my eyes because he’s never been pissed at me before. “Oh Christ, here we go with the tears. Well it’s not going to work this time. You fucking lied to me.”

  “I didn’t fucking lie,” I yell as the tears escape.

  “You weren’t honest with me and that’s the same fucking thing,” he yells.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Ethen yells, coming onto the bus with Ralph.

  Great, perfect. I was hoping to have this fight in front of everyone. I wrap my arms arou
nd myself and shake my head.

  Poppy comes on the bus and looks around, taking it all in. She drops her suitcase and everyone looks at her. “Fitz, you really need to learn how to listen to your woman,” she starts and walks over to Nate. “I wanted to talk to you in private, but considering how this is going down, I have no choice.” She looks at me and then to Fitz. “Brooklyn isn’t pregnant,” she looks at Nate and swallows a few times. “I am.”

  Everyone is frozen in place. There is not a sound in the bus and I notice Poppy starting to go down. “Poppy,” I scream as Nate grabs ahold of her. “Lay her on the couch, this is too much stress for her,” I say, grabbing a water out of the fridge.

  “Brooklyn,” Fitz whispers, grabbing my elbow as I walk toward the couch. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You know what Fitz, I don’t care,” I say and pull away from him.

  After getting Poppy to drink some water, she feels better and her and Nate go off to the bedroom to talk. I sit down at the table and watch the blur of cars passing by. I feel Fitz sit next to me and he places his hand on top of mine. I turn my head to look at him and he shakes his head. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “I don’t know what hurts more, that you didn’t believe me or wouldn’t give me a chance to explain. You just assumed I was lying to you,” I say and turn my head back to the window.

  He squeezes my hand and links our fingers together. “Brooklyn, you’re right. I was the biggest asshole and I handled the whole situation wrong. If I could go back I’d do it all differently.”

  I turn my body to look at him and pull my hand away, folding my arms across my chest. “You are always saying to be honest, so I will be. You ran because you didn’t want to face what the truth might be. If that’s how it’s going to be, I might as well just stay in California. I’m not moving to New York, moving in with you if you are going to run when you are scared of what the truth might be.”

  “I’m sorry, I fucked up. You’re right I was scared, but not for the reasons you think. I was scared that you were going to leave me,” he says, with such pain in his voice.

  “Why would I leave you if I was pregnant?” I dip my brows in confusion.

  “I thought you were second guessing us, second guessing me. I was scared you’d walk away and take my child with you. It was like the fucking Earth stopped spinning.” He rests his hand on my leg and rubs his thumb along it. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he whispers.

  Feeling his pain, I lean over and wrap my arms around him. He does the same to me, and holds me so close it’s hard to breathe. “Fitz, I’m not going anywhere and I sure as shit wouldn’t hide it if I thought I was pregnant. If this is going to work, you can’t walk out when you get scared or angry.”

  He releases me, just barely and kisses my lips. “I swear it. I’ll never walk away from you again no matter how I feel.”

  I look up like I’m considering it and snap my eyes to him when he whispers my name. Grinning, I say, “Alright.”

  He closes his eyes, relief washing over him before he hugs me close again. “I’m so sorry, Brooklyn. I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.”

  He pulls away again and looks around. “So Poppy’s pregnant huh?”

  I laugh and push his chest. “Yep and she’s not dealing with it well, so we need to be there for her.” I look over at Ethen and Ralph. “All of us.”

  “Oh fuck yes. I can’t wait to be an uncle. Uncle Ethen, oh damn that sounds like something the chicks would go nuts for,” Ethen says, smiling at me and I roll my eyes.

  “Baby Renegade. I can’t wait,” Ralph says, nodding his head.

  Fitz grabs my attention and I look at him. “Why isn’t she dealing with it well?”

  I smile and rub his arm. “The same reason you walked out this morning. She’s afraid Nate will leave her.”

  “Shit,” he whispers. “He’d never walk away from her. He told me this morning that if Poppy was the one pregnant he’d be happy as hell. She should know him better than that.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “She does, she just isn’t seeing clearly. This is a huge change in both their lives.”

  At that moment, Nate and Poppy come walking out of the bedroom. They hold hands and they both look happy. “I’m going to be a fucking father,” Nate yells.

  We all jump up and hug them, congratulating them. When I hug Poppy I whisper, “I told you.”

  She pulls away and smiles. “You sure as hell did. Thank you.”

  “Christ, how long until she stops puking every day?” Ethen asks, plugging his ears like a damn child.

  “I don’t fucking know, but I think when we get to Brooklyn’s it’s best if we fly home. She can’t ride back to New York like this for the next two weeks or so,” Nate says, pacing the living room.

  He’s a nervous wreck and I can’t blame him. If it was Brooklyn I’d be the same way. She’s been amazing with Poppy, taking care of her and yelling at us to do one thing or another. Part of me wishes it was me worrying about Brooklyn, because seeing the way she is with Poppy makes me want to care for her that way. I don’t mean because she’s sick, hell no I never want my girl in any pain, but the idea of her carrying my child, I’ll admit it is something that I want.

  “Fitz, is Brooklyn really moving in with you?” Ralph asks, breaking my thoughts.

  I grin and nod my head. “Hell yes she is.”

  “So why are we dropping her off at her place?” Ethen asks loudly with his ears still plugged. I smack his hands and he pulls them out of his ears. “Ouch, what the fuck?”

  “Stop acting like a fucking child. Poppy is sick because she’s pregnant, man up you fucking pussy. The reason we are dropping Brooklyn off is because she needs to get her house on the market and pack her shit. Anyway, who said I wasn’t staying?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

  “Good, with you and Nate gone, Ralph and I will rock the shit out of this bus. New pussy every few miles,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows.

  “Nate?” We all turn when Brooklyn calls for him. “Poppy fell asleep on the floor, I think she’d be more comfortable in the bed.”

  He races down the hall as she comes and plops next to me. “Baby, you are so amazing,” I say, pressing a kiss to her temple.

  “Yeah, well she better remember this when I’m puking my guts up one day,” she says, sipping her water.

  I pull her on top my lap and kiss her. “You won’t need Poppy, I’ll be the one taking care of you.”

  “Oh Fitz,” she whispers and kisses me.

  She stays seated on my lap for a while and we all enjoy the last few hours of being together. We will be at her place tonight and I honestly think I’ll be staying. I’m not sure I can be away from her for this long. This way I can help her pack and get everything situated without worrying.

  “Damn, I’m fucking starving,” Poppy grumbles, coming out of the bedroom.

  Brooklyn looks at me with wide eyes. “I’m going to shower before I can’t get in there again,” she says, giving me a quick kiss and rushing off.

  I chuckle and turn my attention to Poppy. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

  She sits across from me and pulls her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “I feel like someone has beaten me with a bat. I feel disgusting, exhausted and hungry.” I reach over and squeeze her knee. “But thanks to Brooklyn, I know it’s going to be alright,” she says, looking up at me with a small smile.

  “Yeah, my girl is pretty fucking amazing.”

  “Seriously, I hope you know how lucky you are,” she says.

  I grin and lean over to kiss her cheek. “Believe me I know how lucky I am and I also know if it wasn’t for you I’d never have met her.”

  “Yeah well I am pretty fucking great like that,” she says and we both laugh.

  “Hey, what do you want to eat babe?” Nate asks, smiling at her.

  As she’s thinking I hear singing and look around at everyone. No one else seems to hear it and
I tell them all to be quiet. We all listen and I get up walking to the bathroom door. Poppy presses up against me as we both listen and the guys lean in.

  “Holy fuck,” Poppy whispers and looks up at me.

  “Fuck, my girl knows how to sing. Did you know this?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head and we continue to listen. What really blows my mind is that she is singing the song I wrote for her. I can’t fucking believe it. How did I not know what an incredible voice she had?

  “Fitz, damn, you guys should sing a duet,” Poppy suggests.

  This is it, this could be her dream. “I’d do it in a heartbeat,” I say and look back at the guys.

  “Oh fuck yes,” Nate says.

  “I think it would bring a whole new audience,” Ralph says, grinning.

  “More chicks? I’m totally down,” Ethen says.

  We hear the shower turn off and all rush to get out of the way, bumping into each other as we try. She goes into the bedroom and I look at Poppy.

  “Go, what are you waiting for,” she pushes.

  I knock on the door and walk in, just as she is pulling her shirt on. “Damn, a minute too late,” I joke.

  She laughs and starts brushing her hair. “I miss the hotel shower,” she says, looking at me in the mirror.

  “We’ll be settled at home in a few days. Hey, when were you going to tell me that you can sing?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

  She laughs and shakes her head, gathering her hair together to put it in a ponytail. “Oh stop. I just sing in the shower sometimes.”

  I grab her arm and gently turn her to look at me. “I’m serious, Brooklyn. Your voice is fucking amazing and I’m not just saying that. We all heard you and damn, you are extremely talented.”

  She loses her smile and dips her brows. “What? Get out of here. I’ve been singing in the shower my whole life, no one ever said anything.”

  It’s at times like this I want to go back in time and beat the shit out of everyone that’s made her doubt herself. No one ever gave her encouragement and I fucking hate that. “Come here,” I say, sitting on the bed. She sits next to me and I pull her onto my lap. I press a kiss on her lips and wink. “I guess no one ever heard you before, because if they did they definitely would have told you.”

 

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