by T. A. Chase
Ren’s smirk told Tyler the other man knew the effect he was having on Tyler. “I have to talk to some people. Why don’t you wander around? I’ll catch up with you later.”
He wanted to taste Ren’s mouth, but he couldn’t do it in front of all those people. It was too soon for kissing anyway. Ren gripped Tyler’s arm above the elbow for a second, letting him know he understood. Tyler nodded.
“We’ll talk.”
They moved away from each other. Tyler greeted friends and acquaintances, informing them he was home for good.
By ten that night the only men left were cronies of his father. Tyler didn’t feel bad about grabbing Ren and dragging him out to the barn.
“We’ll check on the horses, Dad. Don’t worry.”
Ren didn’t resist as Tyler pulled him to the barn. They got out of sight of the others and Tyler couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed the bigger man against the barn wall, reached up and brought Ren’s head down. Tyler moaned when their lips met. Ren tasted of barbeque sauce, beer and pecan pie, plus an underlying earthy taste all his own.
Tyler swept his tongue over Ren’s teeth. The older man shuddered and took over. A flex of Ren’s hard body reversed their positions. Tyler found his back making close, tight contact with the rough barn wood. Ren buried his fingers in Tyler’s hair, knocking his hat off. He didn’t care. All he wanted was more of Ren.
He wrapped his arms around Ren’s waist, slipping his hands into the back pockets of Ren’s jeans. He rocked their hips together and savored the feeling of Ren’s erection rubbing over his.
Growling, Ren teased Tyler’s tongue with his own. Tyler sucked on it, considering it a poor substitute for what he really wanted in his mouth. His lungs protested his lack of air and he broke the kiss with a gasp. Ren rested his forehead on Tyler’s. They held each other while their breathing calmed down.
“Fuck. I knew it was going to be like this between us,” Ren murmured. “Maybe that’s why I never had the guts to approach you.”
“Because we could spontaneously combust just from kissing?” He laughed.
“No. I knew it would be big. That it would be something more than just fucking and it scares me.”
Tyler didn’t stop Ren from taking a step back and letting go. He understood they needed to actually talk before they went further. He didn’t want any misunderstandings to mess things up. He gestured toward a bench in front of Gonzo’s stall.
“Maybe we should sit down.”
Bending, Ren picked Tyler’s hat off the barn floor. Tyler watched Ren hang the Stetson on the hook holding Gonzo’s halter. They sat in silence. Both were a little unsure how to go about setting things straight. Tyler went first.
“I’ve had a crush on you since I first figured out I liked guys instead of girls.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “Maybe longer than that. I used to follow you around like a star-struck kid when you’d come over with your dad.”
Ren smiled. “I remember. I couldn’t turn around without tripping over you. I thought you were a cute kid.”
Tyler wrinkled his nose. “No guy likes to hear he’s cute.”
“When I got back from Bosnia and came home, for some reason, you were the first person I wanted to see. I guess I needed to see the kind of man you grew into. I wasn’t disappointed.” Ren squeezed Tyler’s knee.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Tyler wondered about that. Looking back now, he’d been blatant about his interest in Ren.
Ren shrugged and stared across the aisle way. “Partly I think I wasn’t very observant. I didn’t know you were gay and I didn’t want to ruin what friendship we had by hitting on you if you weren’t. Mostly, I was really screwed up when I came back, Tyler.”
Tyler clasped his hand around Ren’s.
“I had the same issues that Keith is dealing with now and Isaiah went through. Flashbacks. Guilt. Panic attacks. Paranoia. Just because I didn’t have any physical wounds didn’t mean I wasn’t injured. Everyone who serves in the military and sees action brings home his own demons to exorcise.”
“Was it rough?” He managed to sound sympathetic, not pitying.
“Shit, it was harder than the actual Peacekeeping tour. I knew the flashbacks weren’t real. They were simply memories my mind recreated for me, but fuck if they didn’t feel real.” Ren shuddered, fear and anxiety crossing his face. “Isaiah and Keith helped the best they could and then they got deployed. I went to a therapist, talked to people and I don’t have flashbacks anymore.”
He had a feeling getting over the flashbacks wasn’t as simple as Ren made it out to be. He didn’t know what possessed him. He raised Ren’s hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss on the man’s knuckles. “Takes a lot of courage and strength to do that and not lose yourself in drugs or alcohol.”
“Oh, I did lose myself in those for a while, but I finally figured out they make things worse. So now I do it without the drugs, not even prescription. It’d be too easy for me to use them as a crutch. A way to take care of my problems without accepting responsibility for them.” Ren brushed his thumb over Tyler’s fingers. “I go for days without sleep until my body demands it before I crash. There are still too many nightmares.”
“Is that why you never asked me out?”
Ren nodded. “To start with, I was too messed up to function around anyone, much less someone I liked. A man has his pride and I didn’t want you feeling sorry for me. After I got straightened out, the timing was never right and then JT happened.”
Ren climbed to his feet and Tyler watched the older man pace. There was efficiency in Ren’s steps, even with the nervousness Ren seemed to be feeling.
“I got drunk two years ago and made the mistake of spilling my guts to JT about you. I should have known better.” Tyler studied his boots.
Stopping, Ren stared at him. “You mean JT hit on me because he knew you wanted me?”
“Yeah.” He tried to explain. “See, JT’s always trying to prove he’s better than me. It’s stupid. Anyone can tell he’s better looking and more talented than I am.”
“You’re identical twins, Tyler. You look the same,” Ren pointed out.
Tyler ignored Ren’s logic. “He’s got everything. I’ve never understood why he feels this need to do the stupid shit he does.”
Ren seemed to be struck speechless. Tyler ran his hand through his hair and leaned forward, holding Ren’s dark gaze.
“I don’t really care that you and JT screwed around. What I want to know is when you’re with me, do you see him?”
Two long steps and Ren knelt in front of him. Honesty and desire shone in Ren’s black eyes. Sincerity rang in the man’s voice.
“No. When I looked at him, I only saw you. I used him too, Tyler. I didn’t think I could have you, so I took the next best thing.”
He’d never known anyone to prefer him over JT. Not knowing what to say, he pressed his lips to Ren’s.
The kiss was gentle with promises made and accepted. Ren rose to get closer to Tyler, one hand resting on Tyler’s thigh and the other cradling Tyler’s face. The desire that always simmered in Tyler for Ren started to heat and grow.
A cough tore them apart. By the time Tyler’s father entered the barn, Ren was petting the mare in the stall across the aisle way. Tyler was murmuring to his gelding, hoping like hell his father hadn’t seen anything.
“You boys were taking so long, I thought I’d come and make sure everything was okay.”
“Everything’s fine, Dad. Ren and I were just talking.” Tyler’s cheeks warmed.
His dad’s voice held laughter. “That’s what you’re calling it these days?”
He whirled, staring at his father with his mouth open in surprise.
“You’re…” Tyler had to stop and gather his thoughts. “How long have you known?”
“About you?”
He nodded.
“Probably since last year. I noticed how you acted around Alston here. Figured since JT bent that way, you probably did too.�
� Dad leaned against one of the stall doors, arms crossed. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ty?”
Tyler dropped his gaze, fascinated with the dust on his boots. “I was going to do it, Dad. It was one of the things I decided when I chose to come home. Just didn’t find the right time.” He looked at his dad. “You know about JT?”
“I’ve known about your brother for quite a while. He isn’t very discrete about what he likes.” Dad shook his head. “Sorry to say it, but your brother can be as obvious as a bitch in heat.”
Tyler blinked back tears. He’d been so afraid of telling his father, worried that his dad would turn his back on him. It was a relief to know Dad had known about him and still loved him.
“I guess this is where I should ask you what your intentions are toward my boy?” Dad jokingly asked Ren.
Tyler figured his dad didn’t mean it and was trying to ease the emotional moment. Yet there was a serious expression on Frank Newsome’s face.
“Dad, I’m not a kid. I can take care of myself,” he protested.
Both Ren and Tyler’s dad studied each other. Tyler wanted to bury his face in his hands and die of embarrassment.
“My intentions are honorable, Mr. Newsome. And that’s all you’re going to get from me.”
“Good enough.”
Dad held out his hand and Ren shook it.
“Are you two done with all this bullshit?” Tyler’s question was biting.
“Yes, we are.” Dad winked at Ren. “Don’t stay up too late.”
It was like he was sixteen again. Ren’s low laugh washed over Tyler and any tension he felt dissipated. After his father left, he smiled at Ren as he hugged him.
“I should get home. Isaiah might need help with Keith if he has an episode because of the party.” Rend held out his hand. “Walk me out to my truck?”
Tyler took Ren’s hand and couldn’t help the surge of happiness when Ren’s fingers entwined with his. They wandered out to Ren’s vehicle.
Ren rested back against the hood, spread his legs slightly and settled Tyler in the vee of his body. Tyler licked Ren’s thumb as it brushed over his lower lip. Ren’s breathing stuttered and pride swelled in Tyler that he could affect Ren.
“Why don’t you trailer Gonzo over tomorrow after church? We’ll go for a ride. Maybe a picnic somewhere your father won’t interrupt us.”
Tyler groaned and his cock swelled at the thought of what he had to look forward to tomorrow. He took Ren’s hand and brought it to his mouth. He stroked one finger with his tongue and sucked the saltiness from Ren’s skin.
“If I thought I was going to sleep tonight, I’d be angry at you,” Ren muttered, lust making his voice rough.
He smirked. “A little payback for what you did to me. Do you really think I’ll be able to sleep, knowing I get to be alone with you tomorrow?”
“Behave, brat. The wait will be worth it. I promise.” Ren kissed him hard and quick, then moved him back, so he could open his truck door. “Come over about eleven.”
“I’ll be there. Night, Ren.”
Tyler headed back toward the barn to shut off the main lights after watching Ren pull away. He patted Gonzo’s nose when the gelding whinnied at him.
“Am I crazy for getting involved with Ren?”
Gonzo snorted and Tyler nodded.
“You’re right. It’s a little late now. I’m already up to my head.” He gave Gonzo one last pat. “Guess I’ll go with it. Face problems as they come.”
JT would be a problem. His brother was due to come home for a break in a month, and JT never could stand to see Tyler happy.
“Deal with him when he shows up,” Tyler told himself as he shut the barn and went in the house.
Chapter Five
Ren pulled on his boots before picking up the saddlebags he’d packed with lunch, condoms and lube. Opening the back door, he stepped out on the porch, into the morning sunlight.
“Finally hooking up with the right Newsome brother, I see.”
He turned to see Keith leaning against the porch railing, cigarette hanging from his fingers. Ren frowned, but decided smoking was the least of his brother’s problems.
“The right Newsome brother? What do you and Isaiah have against JT?” He rested a hip on the rail, draping the bags over his shoulder.
Keith shrugged. “Nothing really except he’s a pain in the ass. Someone needs to take him down a peg or two.”
“You applying for the job?” He straightened as a truck pulled into the driveway.
“Hell no. I’d end up killing him because he pissed me off. Nope, JT likes playing both sides. I think it’ll take a tough girl to slap some sense into him.”
Tyler stopped the truck then climbed out, calling “Hey guys.”
Keith raised a hand, acknowledging Tyler’s greeting.
Ren watched Tyler walk to the back of the horse trailer. He bit his tongue to ensure he didn’t whistle. Tyler’s faded jeans showcased the man’s firm ass. The tight blue T-shirt allowed Ren to get a good look, not only at Tyler’s lean back and broad shoulders, but also at his flat stomach. Tyler backed Gonzo off the trailer.
“Wipe the drool from your chin, bro.” Keith smacked his arm.
“Fuck off.” Ren flipped his youngest brother the finger and bounded down the steps to greet Tyler.
Taking advantage of being alone except for Keith, Ren swooped in, saying hello with a quick kiss. Bright, dazed hazel eyes blinked at him when he stepped back.
“Need help saddling Gonzo?”
Tyler regrouped and shook his head. “No. You’re in a good mood.”
Ren went to the paddock, whistling for Solace. The grulla mare trotted up to the fence. He hung the bags over the top rail and hooked a lead rope to the halter she wore.
“I’m excited to spend the day with you.” He leaned in, brushing his lips over Tyler’s ear and whispered, “Maybe getting a chance at your fine ass.”
A huge shiver shook the younger man and Ren received a frustrated glare.
“It’s difficult to ride with a hard-on, jackass.” Tyler poked him in the chest.
“Much easier to ride on, I understand.”
Tyler punched him harder in the arm and he laughed. He shouldn’t tease the man, but Ren was discovering how much he enjoyed making Tyler blush.
He secured Solace with cross-ties and grabbed her curry comb out of her tack box. Tyler was brushing Gonzo out.
“Keith’s looking good today.”
Ren let Tyler change the subject.
“Isaiah got him home before he got too bad. He flies to San Diego tomorrow. The therapist Isaiah works with is out there, along with one of Isaiah’s friends from the Army. He’s letting Keith stay with him and his fiancée.” Ren slid the saddle blanket over Solace’s back. “Rick Hersch is a good guy. We’ve done business with his family before. Good horsemen, but I can’t stand his father as a person. Bit of an ass.”
Tyler tightened Gonzo’s girth and the gelding grunted. “Doesn’t that quarter horse stud, Black Bart, belong to Randy Hersch? Are they related?”
“Yep. Brothers from what I hear. One of our mare’s just dropped a colt by Black Bart. He’s a pretty one. Not a grulla though. We think he’ll end up being a sorrel dun.”
“I’m sure he’ll bring some good money when you’re ready to sell him.”
“Hope so.”
They mounted and he led the way through the range until they reached the foothills. They took their time, allowing the horses to pick their own trail.
“What did you like about rodeo?” he asked Tyler, glad the younger man rode next to him instead of in front. Ren wasn’t sure he’d last watching Tyler’s lithe body move in rhythm with Gonzo. He didn’t want to be distracted by wondering what Tyler would look like straddling him and riding his cock.
Tyler pushed his hat back a little bit. “I liked the people. Rodeo people are some of the friendliest you’ll ever meet. Most of them don’t have much, but what they have, they’ll share.”
“Not really. I’m not very competitive.” Tyler scratched Gonzo’s neck. “I didn’t show this guy off to his full potential. If he got along with JT, I’d have left him. JT loves the whole scene and he’s really good at all the events he competes in.”
“I’ve seen JT ride, he’s good. You were good as well, Tyler. Don’t sell yourself short.” Ren wasn’t willing to let Tyler run himself down. As far as Ren was concerned, there was no comparison between the twins.
“I was good, but I didn’t love it. I got tired of a different hotel bed every night and restaurant food.” Tyler glanced at him from under the brim of his Stetson. “Not having someone special to spend time with and who’ll claim me.”
Understanding what Tyler meant, he leered playfully at the younger man. Ren felt the same way. He loved the horses, but for a while now, he’d been noticing a growing discontentment. He was no longer happy with his life as he knew it. He needed someone to claim and Tyler was the one.
Ren reined Solace to a halt in front of a small cabin. There was a stream running alongside of it and a paddock with a lean-to behind it.
“Wow, this is nice.” Tyler swung off Gonzo, gripping the reins in his hands as he led the gelding toward the paddock.
“My dad built this for my mom shortly after I was born. When they couldn’t get away to the city for a vacation, he’d bring her up here.” Memories of riding up to the cabin with his mom played in his head. “We’d come up here in the spring every year to clean it up. Isaiah and Keith use it as well. It’s a more upscale then the lineshacks the boys use when they’re riding fence.”
Tyler finished unsaddling Gonzo and let the horse loose in the pen. Ren took care of Solace while Tyler wandered down to the stream. Ren set the bags on the tiny porch and walked over. Embracing Tyler, he pulled the younger man back against him. Tyler reached up and took off his hat, dropping it to the ground next to them.