by CN Thornton
"I see. Well, as you know I cannot change things. You must remain here and things will go on as they have." I let out a sigh. Of course. "But, if there is anything I can do for you to make your life here… bearable, then please do not hesitate to ask me."
His response caught me completely off guard, and I didn't bother hiding the shock from my face.
"W—why? After everything I put you through. Why would you do this?"
"Because, I cannot have my queen unhappy," he said matter-of-factly. "There may be moments when I have to... correct your behavior; but believe me, I'm doing all that I can to hold back."
"I don't even know why you do it to begin with," I interjected.
Theodore ran his fingers through his hair. "It is the way of Linacre, even outside the courts. The man must keep his family in line, for anything they do affects his appearance. I believe there was a time when America had the same ways, but they quickly grew out of them."
I frowned. "Well, I am not particularly fond of being spanked for something as silly as slouching."
He nodded his head. "I know, and believe me, I am not fond of having to spank you. You do understand that I have been easy on you, right?" he asked me.
I bit my lip. "That's what my ladies have been telling me. I didn't believe them though."
"I know what it is like." He paused and glanced towards the swan-shaped bush. "If you make an honest attempt at conducting yourself in the manner expected of you, I will promise no more… corporal punishment."
"Really?" I asked desperately.
Theodore gave a curt nod. "But there are times when, for my sake and yours, I will have to correct your behavior."
"Whenever your father—I mean, the king—is around?"
He nodded his head. "If you do something my father thinks merits punishment, I will have no choice. If I don't do it, then he will, and it will be much worse.
"I know that I do not have the best track record when it comes to you and I, but know I do care about you."
"How can you care about someone you hardly know?" I replied in a small voice.
He brought his hand to graze my cheek and out of habit I flinched. His lips pressed together into a hard line and he dropped his hand as if it were dead weight.
"I knew about you growing up. Your mother would send pictures of you frequently, even recordings of you during your debutante ceremonies and events.
"I would daydream about the day we would finally meet, when I would be able to touch you like I just did, only I didn't want it like this. I don't want you to be afraid every time I touch you."
He reached his hand up, slowly this time, and I closed my eyes, not wanting to flinch again. Before I opened them, I felt his fingers under my chin and his lips against my cheek for a brief moment; and then they were gone.
"I want to make us work," he said once I had opened my eyes again. "I'll do anything to make us work."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
After we had finished our lunch, my ladies took me back to my room and began dressing me for my dance lessons with Theodore. The dress I wore reminded me of something from the Edwardian era. It was a simple cream color and of course, I had to wear a corset underneath.
"Now, this dress is similar to the one we have prepared for you to wear to the ball, which is a lot thicker and fuller. This one will be easier to practice in," Moana said as she finished with the final snaps.
"I think you are finished," Layla said excitedly. "You look so beautiful, I can't even begin to imagine how you are going to look on the day of the ball."
"Yes, yes, she is going to be gorgeous, I know. We must get her to the ballroom before she is late! Don't want to get her in trouble, now," Moana said, and the other ladies all but pushed me out of the room.
They chattered happily about the upcoming ball and its prospective guests. It turned out that my ladies-in-waiting were in fact waiting for suitable men to court them. That was the only way out of the lifestyle they lived.
When we neared the ballroom their chattering ended, as if a switch had been flipped. Then they quietly opened the doors for me and allowed me to pass before following.
"If you need us we will be just over here, Princess," Moana said as they tucked into the corner.
This left me to Theodore, who was standing in the center of the room, staring at his watch. Joining him at his side, I curtsied.
"Your Highness." I smiled.
He finally looked up from his watch with a serious expression on his face. "You are late. By three minutes." He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes on me.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness."
"Don't be sorry; be different." He inclined his head towards mine and dropped his voice to a whisper. "If my father were here, he would expect me to whip you at least once. For your sake, you never keep a prince or king of Linacre waiting."
I nodded my head and then he signaled to a small orchestra near the side of the room.
"I'm going to place my left hand on your waist, and my right hand will go in your hand. Place your free hand on my shoulder."
"Ok," I said, and then his hands were on me and mine on him.
"Now, starting with your left foot, you will move one step forward. Good," he said as I moved it forward. "Now with your right foot, step out. Excellent. Now close with your left foot, bringing it to your right." I did so, and he smiled.
"This isn't so bad," I breathed.
"Now, you will do the same, just using opposite feet. So, step back with your right, step out with your left and close with the right.
"Perfect. You, Emmaline, are a natural."
We continued the basic steps for about half an hour before he decided to introduce me to the technicality of rises and falls. This was a bit difficult to do together, but I started to catch on towards the end of practice.
"My lady!" Theodore called after me as I was just about to enter my apartment.
I stopped and curtsied to him. "Your Highness."
"I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were great during practice."
Did he just compliment me?
"Um, well, thank you," I replied uneasily.
He glanced at my ladies, giving them a look. One by one, they curtsied and then slipped inside, leaving him and me to ourselves.
"How are your lessons with Lady Paisley?" he asked just as the door closed.
"Well, I am certainly learning that apart from manners, I know absolutely nothing about how to be a Linacrean woman." I gave a nervous laugh.
"It's overwhelming, yes?" He grinned.
I felt my heart flutter as his grin widened into a full smile. His teeth were impossibly straight and white, framed by his thick lips. The lips that had once met mine.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to clear my mind. No, Emmaline, look where you are! He ripped you from your life! Not to mention he is a complete asshole!
Not complete, my mind argued back. He was nice before; he can be nice again.
BUT HE HAS TO FORCE IT! BEING GENUINELY NICE IS NOT SOMETHING HE IS ACCUSTOMED TO!
"Emma? Are you not feeling well?" he asked as he placed one hand on my shoulder and used the other to gently cup the back of my neck. His thumb brushed over my lip and I let out a gasp, then took a step back.
"Please, don't do that to me," I breathed.
"Do what?" he asked, looking confused.
"Touch me in that way. I'm not ready to force that kind of stuff yet. Hell, I am barely able to force myself into the day-to-day expectations of me."
His face hardened as he looked at me, and I saw his jaw begin to clench again. "Very well, then. Enjoy the rest of your night. You... earned it." He turned and walked away, his steps heavy.
I stood there watching as he disappeared into his own apartment before I went into mine. The second I closed the door, Justine, Layla and Peyton were at my side asking questions.
"What did he want?"
"Did you guys kiss?"
"Are you going to see him to
night?"
I threw my hands up and took several steps back.
"Ladies, please. Nothing happened, nor will it for a very long time. I don't love him. I hardly even like him." I inclined my head and then walked into my dressing room so I could be undressed.
I stared at myself in the floor-length mirror as my ladies worked on undressing me. Moana was unfastening the buttons of my dress while Layla and Peyton were at my feet. Justine was removing the jewelry and taking down my hair.
It was all too much for me, so I closed my eyes. Now I saw nothing. Nothing around me existed except the occasional tugging or pulling at various spots of my body.
Finally, I was whisked away for my bath. Only this time the bath didn't smell flowery; it smelled bitter and sour.
"What is this?" I asked, a look of displeasure on my face as I sank into the bath. The water looked very dirty.
"It's a remedy to remove the sun from your skin. There is milk, aloe, lemon, coconut water and papaya," Layla said as she began exfoliating.
Justine came over with a salve that she rubbed on my face and neck. "What's in this? " I asked her. "My skin is tingling."
"Honey, lemon, brown sugar, and a bit of milk, coconut water and aloe," she responded.
While she let the mask set on my face, she and Layla went to work detangling and rinsing my hair with rose water.
"Why do you always use rose water on my hair?" I asked Layla.
She giggled. "Because, Princess, a woman is supposed to smell good, and roses smell good."
"Well, is there at least any way you can use a different flower? Like Freesia, Lily, Wisteria, or even daisies?"
The girls glanced at one another before smiling. "That sounds like fun!" Peyton exclaimed.
"So, what is the secret to making your rinses?" I asked as the aroma filled the room.
"We use coconut water, sometimes even harvested rain water, and then infuse it with whatever flowers we want. It's fairly simple, Princess."
I let out a frustrated growl. "Please, ladies, when you are in private with me, please just call me Emmaline. Just Emmaline. Okay?"
One by one, they nodded their heads before carrying on with their work. I couldn't stand being called Princess, especially when I didn't feel like one. I was certain that even after I was married to Theodore and we became King and Queen, I would still be unsettled by the titles.
Once I was rinsed and dressed for bed, I went to my study and began on my homework. The first chapter covered proper appearance, and went through the appropriate dress codes for babies, children, teenagers and adults—both male and female.
It took me about half an hour of reading and studying before I was finished. Then I went to bed.
Just like every other night since I had arrived in the palace, I lay wide awake for nearly an hour before falling into a restless sleep.
"By the power vested unto me through the king and queen of Linacre, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Your Royal Highness, you may now kiss your princess," an elderly man, dressed in white robes with blue detailing, said in a proud voice.
Taking my face between his large hands, he brought his lips to mine. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, only they weren't happy tears. The agony inside me swelled to an unbearable state and the tears began pouring as he continued to kiss me.
When he finally pulled away, I had managed to force a smile on my face so it looked like the tears were happy ones. Then someone in the crowd shouted about consummating the marriage, and before I could blink we were whisked away to Theodore's bed.
I stood as he undressed me, and then we moved to the bed. Every part of my body screamed on the inside, but no sound came out as he positioned himself above me.
"NO!" I screamed. "Get off!" The words slipped from my mouth before I could register it had been nothing but a nightmare, but the damage was done.
The door to my ladies’ chamber opened and the four came running to my bedside, looking panicked.
"Are you okay, Prin—Emmaline?"
"Emmaline, were you attacked?"
"Would you like me to send for the guards?"
"Are you hurt?"
The questions rushed out so quickly they were all jumbled and I couldn't tell who was saying what. I didn't even bother speaking until they all fell silent.
Then it was just Moana who spoke. "What has happened to you?" she said carefully.
I shook my head as tears began to spill from my eyes. I didn't care that they were watching me. I didn't care that I probably looked pathetic. I was miserable, and there was nothing that could help except getting my own life back.
. . .
The nightmares and crying continued every night for thirteen nights. It got so bad that my ladies started checking on me several times during the night, just in case I needed someone to talk to.
At one point, Moana even suggested we talk to the prince about getting me a sleep tonic, but I quickly declined. The last thing I wanted was to give Theodore another reason to be upset or disappointed with me.
Especially after our last dance lesson, when he had been trying to teach me proper turns for the waltz… I hadn’t exactly done too well, and his constant criticism about how I was overthinking the steps had pushed me over the edge. The lesson had ended half an hour early, after I completely lost it and stormed from the ballroom in tears.
That had been four days ago.
My lady Peyton, whose parents gave dance lessons to all the royal and notable families in Linacre, was kind enough to practice my turns and rises and falls with me every night, which really helped.
The day of the masquerade ball came too soon. I stood in front of the mirror in my dressing room while Layla laced my corset. Every tug to tighten the strings made my sides ache as it constricted me.
Hanging behind me, my ball gown was big and beautiful, a golden yellow. It reminded me of the dress from Beauty and the Beast, only not as full, and more regal with its intricate gold patterns.
When I put it on I easily noticed the difference in the weight of the fabric. It fit snug over my corset and flared out a bit, making my waist look small. The sleeves were made of a silky, sheer fabric that hung off my shoulders in a Linacrean-modest way.
Even I thought it was beautiful.
"Your mask, Emmaline," Justine said once they had finished my makeup.
Because my skin still showed traces of heavy sun exposure, they had to powder my body to make it look paler.
When they had tied on the mask and finally finished my hair in a complicated up-do, they pushed me back towards the mirror so I could see myself.
The mask itself was laser-cut steel in a beautiful golden color. Diamonds around the edges gave it a bit more feminine appeal, and it matched well with my dress.
"You look amazing, Emmaline," Moana said.
"Yes, like a real princess!" Justine said, with a dreamy expression. "All eyes are going to be on you tonight!"
I rolled my eyes. "Exactly the opposite of what I wanted. If I mess up, everyone is going to see."
Peyton placed her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. "Emmaline, listen. We've been practicing for days, and each time you have been nothing short of perfect."
"Yeah, but that was while I was practicing with you. Whenever I practice with Theodore, I stumble and mess up. He makes me so nervous." I bit my lip. "I can't do this—yeah, there is no way I can do this."
Peyton looked up at Moana as I heard a knock on the door. "I'll be right back," she said and rushed off.
"You need to pull yourself together. Theodore is here, okay? Take a deep breath and let’s go," Moana said.
She followed close behind me as I made my way across the apartment to where Theodore stood. I sank into a deep curtsy and forced myself to smile.
"Your Highness," I greeted.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"You look radiant!" Theodore crooned as he closed the small gap between us.
I glanced down at the floor, feeling my face turn
red.
"A princess of Linacre never looks anywhere but in front of her. Ever. Remember that," he said in a soft voice I had never heard him speak in before.
My head snapped up and our eyes met. Was that a gleam in eyes?
"Shall we?" He held out his arm.
I hesitated but took it.
As we started down the long corridor, Theodore glanced sideways at me. "Tonight, all eyes will be on you." I tensed up. "They are curious as to who you have become and what you look like. After all, it has been nearly two decades since the people of the courts have laid eyes on you."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean to say, it is common knowledge that you and I were engaged. Our families held a bountiful party to announce it before the plague happened. Now that you are back, the people of the courts are anxious."
"They're not going to like me, I already know it. Somehow, some way, I'm going to mess things up and be the biggest disgrace and your father—" I stopped in my tracks and my breathing grew labored as I started to panic. "Oh my god, your father… If I upset him…"
"Emmaline." He turned and cupped my face with his hands. "Love, you are going to be fine." I could barely hear him through the sounds of my panting.
"I can't do this! I can't do this!" I repeated over and over.
He shook me. "Emmaline, you need to relax. You are going to bring yourself to nerves, and that won't be good for anyone. Especially yourself."
We turned and started down the staircase, my legs trembling with each step. I did my best to sync my breath with every click of my heel on the staircase, and by the time we reached the bottom I was calm again.
"You know, if you were hoping to give me advice, I think that ship has sailed. My nerves are so high I'm sweating like a sinner in church."
He made a sound that reminded me of someone trying to stifle a laugh.
I grinned. "So, it seems like Prince Theodore has a sense of humor after all."
"I do laugh, yes," he said with a serious face.