As the words left the South African’s mouth, they made more and more sense to me. Whoever was doing this (almost certainly the Benefactor) had the power to overtake a person’s mind, even a person who had the sort of innate mystical ability that Bhandal was walking around with. So, what on earth would stop him from getting the mental drop on unsuspecting humans?
“What the hell is this about?” I asked, shaking my head. “What is this thing and what’s the purpose of feeding people to it?”
“These are questions I do not have the answer to, Detective Morgan,” Bhandal said, and a sternness that unsettled me crept into his voice. “Fortunately, they are also secondary concerns.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, careful to keep the apprehension out of my voice. I wasn’t sure why, but I was absolutely certain whatever was swimming around in that mind of his wasn’t a particularly smart idea.
“My rain queen has vanished. My reason for being, both in this city and on this earth, was taken with her. The ancestors were clear. I am to find her, no matter the personal sacrifice.” His tone was at once mournful and determined, and the look on his face-tinged with ferocity- told me he wouldn’t stop.
“That’s all well and good,” I said very carefully. “But I don’t see what a black hole in the center of this pizza place has to do with it.”
“Don’t you see, Detective Morgan?” Bhandal shook his head as his dark eyes slid from me to the tear in reality. “I have no idea to what extent my memory has been altered. Perhaps I’ve been myself the entire time, save for this morning. Perhaps I was fighting for my rain queen until I could no longer draw breath. Perhaps I departed from this place and ended up on your door for a reason. If that is the case, then all signs point to my rain queen being in there.”
A sick feeling shot through me as I realized what Bhandal was talking about.
“You’re going to throw yourself into it, aren’t you?” I asked. Suddenly, this kid looked really young to me, too young to be giving his life for any cause- even one he might believe in. He might not have been channeling the ancestors at this very moment, but I could tell from the wizened look on his face that having them bounce around his head was doing its part to age him.
“I am,” he answered stoically, a strangely calm smile spreading across his face.
“Well before you do that, I have one question for you. Just how fucking stupid do they grow them in South Africa?” I asked, narrowing my eyes and letting sarcasm lay thick on my words.
“Excuse me?” he answered, his body tensing again as he turned toward me.
“You heard me. You want to toss your body into a black hole on the off chance some chick with royal blood and powers that thrive on stormy weather might have done if before you?” I scoffed as loudly and as obviously as I could. “And for what? Even if she had done that, Bhandal, even if she did throw herself into that thing, she’s dead now.”
“You don’t know that,” he answered, his teeth ground together. “You have little to no idea of what happens to a person who goes through that thing. Do you?”
“That’s my point.” I set my jaw, resisting the urge to smack this kid on the top of the head. “I’m reasonably sure it’s not going to give you a pat on the back and tell you how handsome you are, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I shook my head. “What if you’re wrong? What if your rain queen’s out there and you can’t save her because you jumped into a trap?”
“Then it is the will of the gods,” Bhandal said as I moved in front of him and stood there. This kid might have been stubborn and he might have had the power of a whole bunch of other stubborn people running through his veins, but I wasn’t going to let him get himself killed on my watch. He almost seemed like two different people sometimes. The pizza boy who showed up on our doorstep looked young and inexperienced. How was I to know that had been a guise, that his mind had been wiped and –underneath it- lay one of the most powerful people in all of South Africa.
Especially considering I had no idea how or if it might affect whatever was going on with Renee. The Benefactor obviously wanted this guy to off himself. Maybe this was just another ploy to get that done. Maybe once he did the deed, it would set something into motion that would be very bad for the future wellbeing of my girlfriend.
Hell, even if it didn’t, even if this had nothing to do with Renee, I wasn’t in the business of standing around and letting people do awful things to themselves. I might have been a demon/warlock mutt of a creature, but I was also a cop.
“Stand down, kid,” I said, lifting my hand toward him and letting just a touch of red energy tint my palm, just enough to let him know I meant business.
“You mean to come against me?” he balked, his eyes growing wide with shock. “I, who have the powers of my ancestors at my disposal? I, who may draw upon the wisdom of countless generations to consider my cause? I, who—”
“Yeah, you,” I said, cutting him off before he launched into his third hyperbolic exaltation. “I mean to stand against you, and do you know why? Because you’re a dumbass, kid. Even with the wisdom of countless generations coming out your ass, you’re standing on the precipice of doing some pretty stupid shit.” I shook my head, lowering my voice to try to ratchet down the tension. “Think about it, Bhandal. Stand back and really think about it. I know it’s hard to consider, and I know you don’t want it to be true, but in all seriousness—”
“Do not finish that sentence,” he said flatly, his own energy sparking up around him. It was gold and glistened against both the sunlight streaming in from the window and the flicker of power coming from the black hole.
“It’s been two weeks, kid,” I said, setting my jaw and trying to sound as somber and compassionate as my current mood would allow. “Two weeks in a dangerous and strange city, two weeks in the very place her mother was killed. Two weeks, and even if she didn’t end up staring down the business end of that thing.” I motioned to the black hole. “There’s no reason to believe she’s survived.” I exhaled, stepping toward him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “She’s either dead or not in there anymore, Bandhal.”
I felt a surge of something very ancient and very powerful at my chest before I could say anything else. He hadn’t reacted outwardly. There were no tears, no sobs into my chest. There weren’t even any cutting glances in my direction. As far as I knew from his reaction, Bandhal was quietly processing what I just said. The surge told me different though.
Gold energy pushed out at me, knocking me backward with more force than I could handle without being ready for it.
“How dare you?” he screamed as I flew through the air. “I would know! If she was dead, I would feel it!”
I didn’t think about what Bandhal would or wouldn’t feel as I flew backward. I was much more concerned with what I was feeling.
I was too close to the black hole, and as I flew through the air, I felt its pull at my back. I felt its fingers of energy grab at my body, dragging me toward it.
More than that, I felt how powerless I was to stop it.
I might have succeeded in stopping Bandhal from throwing himself into this thing, but I had utterly failed at keeping myself out of it.
13
The force of the black hole jerked me closer to the spinning, gaping tear in the fabric of reality that had set up shop in the pizza parlor’s main room.
The full force of it wrapped itself around me until I was enveloped in it. My back was to the thing, which was the smallest of kindnesses. At least this way I wouldn’t have to look at it as the black hole sucked me into itself, probably tearing me into a hundred thousand little pieces.
Bhandal’s eyes widened as he realized just what his impulsive attack on me had done. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to hurt me, and he certainly wasn’t angling to kill me. All he wanted was to get me far enough away to throw himself into this thing. Judging by the look on his face now though, I wondered just how strongly he believed in his theory that the rain queen migh
t be okay after all of this. He certainly didn’t look sure I’d be okay. That was for damned sure.
The pull of the black hole, as strong as anything I had ever felt, started to burn. It took a second for me to realize I wasn’t breathing, that I couldn’t breathe. The gravitational pull of thing wasn’t only taking me, it was stealing all the oxygen from the surrounding area. I moved toward it quickly, my field of vision stretching and darkening until the world around me was foggy and distorted. I could barely make out Bhandal’s features as he neared me.
I wanted to tell him to keep his damned distance. I couldn’t though. Opening my mouth was useless without air, without any sort of control over my body or what it did.
It was strange, the sensation I felt right now. Though this kid had effectively just murdered me, I still innately wanted to keep him safe. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t stupid enough to get any closer to this thing. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to save me. Instead, he’d find himself in the exact same situation I was in right now.
My head pounded as I grew closer to the thing. I was still turned the other way, but I could see the snaps of power all around me now, flickering in differing and vibrant colors. It had taken me. I was in its grasp now, no longer about to be eaten by thing. I had officially turned into lunch.
I could feel everything now, the beat of my heart, the ache in my chest. I could feel my fingernails growing for God’s sake.
The worst though, the thing that made me wish time would just speed up and take me already, was that I could feel it.
My demon side, the dark animal that existed inside of me and made me different from everyone else I had ever met, was a horrid thing, hate and horror incarnate. It was hunger that never faded. It was anger that never subsided. It was the stalwart knowledge that no matter what I did or how many people I helped I’d never be good. I’d never be pure. I’d never be worthy of any of the things I wanted in life...
I might be the son of warlock, but I was also an abomination. I was a tangible beast that deserved worse than the agonizing death I was about to get. I deserved unceasing agony, not because of anything I had ever done (though I had been far from a saint) but because of what I was, because of what I had always been and what I would always be.
Maybe that was what this black hole did. Maybe it laid bare all the awful truths about a person, all the things we know about ourselves we’d rather die than admit. Or maybe what I was experiencing was something else entirely. Maybe I had already died. Maybe I had already been reduced to thousands of pieces and was currently burning in Hell.
Yeah. That made sense. This was the worst thing I could ever imagine. This was the pinnacle of pain for someone like me. Not that there was anyone like me. To be constantly aware and conscious of the thing I hated most in the world, to be slapped in the face with the half of me that not only condemned me, but ensured I would never be really happy for even a second in my tortured life.
Or maybe I had just lost my mind.
Bandhal faded away like everything else did. That was good. At least he knew enough not to follow me. Maybe this would drill some sense into that stubborn head of his. Maybe that would be enough to save him. It wouldn’t do the rain queen any good though.
What was more, it wouldn’t do the most important woman in my life any favors either. My heart, already beating like a jackhammer, ratcheted up another notch as Renee’s face flickered across my mind’s eye.
She was still in danger. She was still being sought after by the damned Benefactor, whoever the fuck he was. She wouldn’t survive a minute out there without me to protect her.
Sure, she was smart and resourceful, and she even had an imp who’d give his life if he thought that was what I wanted. Imps could only do so much though, and for all Renee had been through since I stumbled my way into her life, she was in way over her head when it came to this shit.
I still had no idea why the Benefactor wanted her, and I had no idea what his next move would be. I needed to be there to fix this, to save the woman I cared about. I needed to make it right, anyway I could.
Those thoughts seemed futile now though.
Everything was dark. My lungs were a lit match and the fire of no air was spreading through my body without reservation. If I wasn’t already dead, I would be in seconds. And, with no idea of where I was or what was happening around me, I had no idea how to fix things.
I needed something else. I needed someone or something to come to my defense. I needed the thing that always saved me before, the salvation of my life since the moment I dug her from the casket where she’d been condemned to an eternity of darkness.
I needed my mother.
A somber reality settled on me as the flickers of energy returned, lighting up what looked to be vast, infinite space.
My mother was gone. Fulton had destroyed the amulet which housed her soul, both tearing it into countless pieces and scattering them across the ether or (and this was what I hoped) releasing her so that she might be able to be at peace. So, she might even be able to be with my father.
“Stop it.” Her voice, my mother’s voice, boomed through my head. As if on cue, it bypassed my ears entirely, appearing in my mind without any sort of outside origin at all. “You’re being ridiculous, Roy. You’re being petulant.”
It was then, with my entire body shutting down and my mind in freefall, I realized I had never heard my mother’s voice. She died giving birth to me, and all records of her within my coven were sealed because she’d consorted with a demon and gotten herself knocked up. Still, I had no doubt this was her voice. It was her. She was speaking to me, and she wasn’t happy.
I tried to respond because even if I was dying, I wasn’t about to miss the chance to have a one on one with the woman who gave me life. My voice still wasn’t working though. Nothing was. Instead, I just thought it, and she somehow understood.
“It hurts,” I thought, realizing how pathetic my thoughts sounded as they echoed against my skull.
“A lot of things hurt, son. Pain isn’t especially helpful or important. It just means something hurts. You must move past it. You must stop giving it power. If you don’t, all will be lost. I didn’t give my life so you could die like this.”
“Are you real?” I thought, realizing my rapidly shutting down mind might be giving me what I wanted, helping to ease the suffering.
“Does it matter?” she responded, and I honestly had no answer. “The world is bigger than you think, but it’s also smaller than it needs to be. You have more power than you think you do, even here. You’re not just my son. You’re something else too. You’re something amazing and rare, something important and untouchable. If you can just accept that, then maybe all of this won’t have been for nothing.”
A warmth ran through me. I had never heard my mother’s words to me, but I had felt her all around before. I had felt her soul in the locket I wore. I had felt her protection as she saved me from horrible beings who would see me dead.
And where had it gotten her? Here…wherever here was.
“Are you okay?” I thought, a real sense of dread moving over me. I might be about to die, but I knew my soul was in one piece. I couldn’t say the same about my mother. “I tried to save you, but—”
“Those aren’t regrets we have time for son, and the answers you want won’t help you with what you need to do.” I felt hands on me and my forward momentum reversed. Somehow, I began to move away from the black hole.
My body grew tired, all the energy pouring out of me and off into the ether.
“What are doing?” I thought, and a rush of air filled my body. I didn’t breathe it, and I had no idea where it came from. It was just a gift, a wonderful gift I could never repay.
“What I’ve always done, Roy, what was my life’s joy to do, even after my life was over. I’m taking care of what’s mine. But I won’t be able to for much longer. I can’t go where you need to go. I can’t move that far from the center of all of this. So, you’re going t
o have to be strong for me, son. Can you do that? Can you be strong for your mother?”
I felt a new sense of resolve fill me. It might be because I was no longer gasping for air, or it might be because I had my mother’s strength at my side. Whatever the reason, I knew I could do this. I knew I could make it so long as she believed in me.
Before I could answer her, a new voice entered the fray. It was distant and horrible, the sound of glass breaking or flesh being torn apart. It sung out all around me.
“Come,” it said from within the pit. “Come to me.”
The voice sounded inviting, and my body ached for some sort of relief. The idea of obliging the voice, of going toward it and allowing it to take away this pain filled my brain and almost pushed me toward it.
Perhaps it would have to if not for my mother.
“Don’t listen to that, Roy,” mother’s voice echoed. “Don’t you dare listen to that.”
“Who?” I thought, too tired and too confused to think anything else.
“The Benefactor,” my mother responded. “He’s after you.”
“He’s after Renee,” I answered, sure of that much at least.
“He is, but the cypress tree was cut down for a reason. She’s not supposed to exist, but even still, she’s not what’s important,” Mother said. “She’s a piece in a puzzle, Roy. She’s a key to a lock she has no business even knowing exists. You’re much more than that, son. You’re the whole of all of this.”
I felt another strong push and then a flash of light and warmth blinded me.
My entire body shook and ached as I retched back and forth on what I thought was the floor.
As my eyes opened, I realized I wasn’t on the floor. I was on a bed, my bed in my apartment, and Renee was staring down at me.
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