Annie faced Jake, expecting to find a look of remorse, guilt or sorrow. What she saw was an expression of puzzlement and concern, which didn’t make any sense. What had she expected? A spiritual confession or for him to fall on his knees, begging for her forgiveness?
“Any more boxes you need hauled away?”
“No. I can handle the rest. But thank you.”
Jake quickly loaded the boxes, secured the flaps and placed them at the curb before facing her. “If you have any more heavy lifting to do, call me. I don’t mind.”
She nodded. Fat chance. She’d needed him today, but she could have done it without him. She watched him walk across the street before going back inside. A pile of boxes and bags stared her in the face. It was going to take weeks to clear out the junk and the furniture. Not to mention pulling up the old carpet and refinishing the floors and taking down the old wallpaper.
Suddenly updating the house felt like an impossible task. She was used to doing things on her own and never asking for help. But Jake was right about one thing. She couldn’t do it alone. The boys weren’t strong enough and she lacked the skills. She could afford to hire someone to redo the entire house, but she couldn’t bring herself to spend money on such things even when there was more than enough.
She picked up another box and took it out to the street. Denise crossed the lawn as she was returning to the porch.
“Hey, was that Jake I saw over here a few minutes ago?”
Annie nodded. She’d only told her friend the bare minimum about her relationship with Jake. That they worked at the same school and were on a committee together. The rest was private matter between the two of them. Not for public consumption. “He helped me clean up a mess.”
“That was nice of him.”
“Yes. I guess.”
Denise studied her. “Do you have something against him? You always act weird whenever he’s mentioned.”
Had her feelings been so apparent? “No. Of course not. It’s just that I don’t know him very well.”
“I can assure you, he’s a great guy and a good role model for the kids. You’ve seen how much they all love playing games with him this summer. Most of the parents on the street think he’s a godsend. He keeps the kids entertained and outside instead of holed up inside, playing video games.”
She couldn’t argue with that. “I know.”
“Did I mention he’s also very involved with the youth at our church? Speaking of which, I’m hoping you’ll attend with us this Sunday.”
“Yes. We will. I want the twins to get involved again.”
“Great. The kids will be happy to hear that. I’ll see you then.” Denise started to leave but then glanced back. “Cut Jake some slack, okay? He’s a great guy when you get to know him.”
Annie nodded, unable to speak around the lump in her throat. To everyone else, Jake was a person to admire. They didn’t know what she knew.
How would they feel if they knew the truth? No. She couldn’t do that. Ever. If Jake had been a hardened criminal, she could have explained and everyone would understand her concern. But Jake was the hero of the neighborhood, a good guy with a heart for kids and helping others. She didn’t want to ruin that for him. She might not be able to end his sentence, but she could keep the accident and his part in it to herself. Jake didn’t deserve to have his past dug up and put on display. He’s paid long enough. She tried to imagine being forced to pay a debt over and over for the rest of your life. Her issues with him were her own.
What if she discovered Jake was a good guy? If the man had gotten his life together, made a contribution to society and became an upstanding citizen, then what purpose did the sentence serve? Did her aunt have any idea about Jake the man? Or had she only wanted to see the young man he’d been when he’d made a very bad decision?
Unfortunately, she was conflicted about the whole thing and needed help sorting things out. Hopefully, the widows at her therapy group would help her sort it all out.
* * *
Jake poured himself a glass of tea and stared blindly out the window, his thoughts replaying his encounter at Annie’s. Seeing all the memorabilia Mrs. Owens had collected had been unsettling. He’d always suspected her image of her son was nothing like the reality. It was probably natural that after losing her only son that she’d remember only the good things and cherish memories of him when he was a child. But it seemed excessive to him. The same way her desire to continue punishing him was excessive. Which led him back to Annie and why she was going along with it.
A knock on the door broke into his thoughts. Harley strolled into the kitchen. Jake’s house was his second home. Particularly during football season. He was partial to Jake’s giant seventy-inch flat-screen TV with the ability to watch several games at once. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“On my way to the hardware store to pick up the paint for the youth den and thought you might like to ride along.”
“Sure. I could use the distraction.”
“Why’s that?”
Jake leaned back against the counter, searching for a way to explain. There was no use claiming nothing was wrong because Harley would see right through that. “I was just over at the Owens house—I mean the Shepherd house. Annie and her boys were trying to carry a big box out to the street and dropped it. Annie got hurt so I went over to see if I could help.”
Harley grinned and made a fist. “Jake to the rescue. It’s always good to help out a pretty lady. Was she hurt badly?” He winked and grinned.
“No. Just a scrape on her arm. Though I discovered she’s clueless when it comes to Bobby Lee.”
“What do you mean?”
“She told me his room hadn’t been touched since he died. It had been preserved like a shrine.”
“Creepy.” Harley helped himself to a glass of tea.
Jake rubbed is forehead. “That’s not all. Annie’s under the impression her cousin was loved by everyone and was a paragon of virtue.”
Harley chuckled. “Not hardly. Bobby Lee was a spoiled, entitled, selfish jerk. The only reason he had any friends at all was because he had a cool car and he threw money around like confetti.”
Jake nodded. “In the short time I knew him, he’d been arrested three times and suspended from school twice.”
“What would the lovely Miss Annie say if she knew the truth?”
“She wouldn’t believe me. Same as her aunt didn’t believe her son could do anything wrong.” He could only imagine how angry Annie would be if he attempted to alter her belief in her cousin.
“Maybe it’s time the truth came out. About him and the accident.”
“Nope. There’s no point now. If she’s bought into the idea that her cousin was a good guy, then there’s no way she’s going to accept the truth. Not from me anyway.”
“How are things between you two?”
“Fine.” He glanced at his friend and saw a puzzled frown on his face. “What?”
“You’re leaving something out. Are you attracted to this woman?”
The observation set his nerves on edge. He was intrigued by Annie Shepherd more than he wanted to be. She was the first woman in a long time who captured his interest and the last woman on earth he should pursue. “No. Why would I want to get involved with my jailer?”
“Yet you dash across the street to help her.”
“Just trying to be a good neighbor, that’s all.”
Harley shrugged and took a swallow of his drink. “She must be something special for you to get so worked up. You’re usually tone-deaf and blind when it comes to females.”
“You’re crazy. I’m not running away, I’m being realistic. We work together. Her boys are in my class. I don’t need to get on her bad side.”
“If you say so. You coming with me to the store?”
“Sure.” It was better than sitting he
re, thinking about Annie and her stubborn chin and the way her blue eyes sparked when she was angry. He could only imagine how her anger would explode if he told her the truth about her beloved cousin?
Mr. and Mrs. Owens never believed he was ever in the wrong, and they always blamed someone else or the system for his trouble. Since Mr. Owens was mayor of Hastings at the time, he’d been able to keep his son out of jail and out of trouble. If he told Annie any of this she would probably think he was trying to smear her cousin’s good name to make himself look better. He’d run up against that kind of judgment before.
He had to remember that when it came to the Owens family he was persona non grata, and nothing would change that. Not even the truth.
* * *
Annie sat on the sofa in the therapist’s office that evening, trying to decide how much to share about her last week. The Widow’s Walk therapy group she’d joined had been another confirmation that moving to Hastings had been the right decision. The psychologist, Nina Johnson-Sinclair, was a kind and understanding woman, and the other widows in the group had made her feel safe and able to open up about her fears and insecurities. She wished she’d had this kind of group years ago.
“Hi, sweetie.”
Brenda Upton took a seat beside her on the long sofa. The tall, slender woman with the bubbly personality had joined the group the week after Annie, and they had bonded over being new. Brenda was several years older but she had boys too.
“Did you have a good week?”
Annie wasn’t sure how to answer that question, given how intertwined in her life Jake Langford had become. “It was good. How about you?”
“So-so. I’m stuck in a rut and can’t seem to get out of it.”
“I understand.”
Nina got the session started by eliciting a one-word recap of each woman’s week. Five women had shown up tonight, a smaller group than in the past. For some reason, that gave Annie courage. When the therapist came to her, however, she changed her mind at the last minute. “I was going to say good, but it was more like disturbing.”
Nina urged her to elaborate. Feeling confident, she began to explain. She told them about the accident that had killed her cousin and the resulting punishment placed upon the driver. She spoke about her surprise that he’d turned out to be a normal guy and her concern when she realized that not only did he live across the street, but he was also a teacher at her school, and they’d been placed on the same school committee, which meant they’d be working closely together for the next few months. She didn’t mention the man’s name. There was no reason to label Jake as the culprit. Nothing would be gained by calling attention to his part in her situation.
Paula Ingram, a fiftyish woman with salt-and-pepper hair and a longtime member of the therapy group, leaned forward. “It seems to me this man has more than paid his debt for that accident. How long is he supposed to suffer for his mistake?”
Rena Morgan responded quickly. “He took a life. There’s no making up for that.”
“He was a kid. A dumb teenager.” Trudy Porter shoved her glasses up on her nose. “Shouldn’t he be judged on the man he is now and not something that happened years ago?”
Brenda spoke up, her hands clasped tightly together. “Drunk drivers don’t deserve forgiveness. I wouldn’t be a widow if it weren’t for one of them.”
Annie squeezed Brenda’s hand. “I understand how she feels. My husband was an alcoholic and he was driving drunk when he crashed. He killed himself and an elderly couple on their way to visiting their new grandbaby. How can you forgive that?”
The question prompted a thoughtful discussion that allowed Annie to ruminate on all the different points of view. They’d given her a lot to think about. And a different perspective to consider. She was grateful for their support. The one point that kept repeating in her thoughts centered on the question, how long was Jake supposed to pay for his mistake?
Even after returning home and tucking the boys in bed, the question refused to die down. She poured a glass of tea and went to the front porch. The night was unusually cool for August in Mississippi, thanks to a rare cold front that had moved through. She took a seat on the swing, which afforded her a clear view of Jake’s house.
The widows were right. Jake had paid his dues. Longer than necessary. Forgiveness was a wonderful idea, something commanded by the Lord. Actually doing it, however, was something else entirely. Forgiveness felt like giving the person a free pass, as if the horrible thing they’d done was okay and unimportant.
Her cell phone buzzed and she pulled it from her pocket, surprised to Rena Morgan’s name on the screen. “Hi, Rena.”
“I hope you don’t mind me calling, but you still looked upset when you left the session tonight. I wanted to see if you’re okay and if you might want to talk a little more.”
The woman’s kindness touched her. “I’m fine, I guess. I keep going around in my head about what to do. I want to forgive this man and just put the whole thing behind me. But how can I forget that his carelessness took my aunt and uncle’s only child. I can’t imagine the pain of losing one of my boys.”
“Me either. And I can’t begin to know how she must have felt, but this vain attempt to somehow make the man pay by collecting this debt every year is pointless. One dollar or one million won’t bring back her son or erase her grief. It’s sad and pathetic.”
“I agree but I’m committed to this arrangement because of the terms of the will, so I have to make it work somehow.”
“Okay but call if you need to talk more. I always have my phone in my hand.”
Annie closed her eyes, going over what Rena had said. It was all true. And all so impossible. Bottom line was she couldn’t know the depth of her aunt’s pain. She might become bitter and angry too, wanting someone to pay for losing her only child. But she was also finding it difficult to equate the man she was getting to know with the boy who had behaved so recklessly all those years ago. And what exactly had happened that night? Her aunt would never talk about it except to say Jake was to blame.
The front-porch light came on at Jake’s place and she saw him step outside and stand at the railing a moment. She told herself to look away, but there was something compelling about the man. He turned his head and then straightened. Her pulse sped up unexpectedly and she knew without a doubt he was looking right at her. She needed to go inside, but looking away proved difficult as if he held her in place with his gaze.
Slowly he turned and walked back inside his house, turning out the porch light. Annie sucked in a quick breath. What had just happened? Unwilling to explore that, she hurried inside and up to her room. This whole situation had rattled her good sense. If only she could let go of the past and just let her life unfold from here on. Unfortunately this life was only possible because of her aunt, and to keep it she had to continue the arrangement.
The simple fact was she had to think of her twins first. Nothing else mattered.
* * *
Annie’s car was still in the school parking lot when Jake left that afternoon. In the weeks since school had started, he’d discovered how dedicated she was to her students. He could see it in the faces of the children in her classroom. She’d gained respect from the other teachers too. Everyone commented on her sunny disposition and her warm smile.
Having her boys in his class had been enjoyable. Ryan needed a firm hand to curb his enthusiasm and Tyler needed a little one-on-one attention to increase his confidence, but they were good students and nice kids.
He hadn’t spoken to her since helping with the boxes that day. He’d felt it best to keep his distance, considering her fantasy image of her cousin. He wasn’t sure how to approach that issue. Unfortunately, he’d been unable to ignore her completely. She intruded into his thoughts far too often. He caught glimpses of her when she came and went from her classroom and during lunch periods. In the evening he repeatedl
y looked across the street at her house, wondering what she was doing. His gaze seemed to seek her out of its own free will. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t find her attractive.
Then there was the matter of the publicity committee. They needed to meet about the flyers, but so far Annie hadn’t mentioned it and he wasn’t about to remind her.
He’d barely finished his meal when someone knocked on his door. He rarely had visitors with the exception of Harley and Mrs. Kellerman from next door. Annie was the last person he’d expected to find on his front porch. “Hey. Come on in. Is everything okay?”
“Yes. It’s fine. Could we talk out here?”
Was she reluctant to come in because it might look bad or because she was wary of him? “Sure.” He pulled the door shut and gestured toward the porch rockers, the only seating he had. Annie sat on the edge of the seat, her hands tightly clasped in her lap. She glanced over at him and he fought the urge to take her hand to ease her anxiety. “About this carnival...”
Aha. Now he understood. Teaching in the same building, even living across the street afforded distance between them. But working on the same project was too much. She was going to ask to be switched to another committee. He waited for her to continue, trying to swallow his disappointment.
“I’ve been over the information in the folder. This carnival is a bigger event than I realized.”
Where was she going with this? “It’s our yearly fund-raiser. The powers that be at Jefferson never like the idea of selling candy door-to-door or tickets to spaghetti dinners or BBQ meals. Asking students to wander the neighborhoods, begging for funds to buy extra school materials didn’t sit well with a lot of parents. So they came up with the fall carnival. People will spend money on something they can participate in, but they resent being asked to haul their kids around to sell tickets.”
She nodded, rubbing her thumb nail. Something had her stressed and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what it was. “What’s on your mind, Annie?”
Their Family Legacy Page 5