He drew the bag string taut and tied a quick knot. When he looked up, Bill Franklin was marching toward him, a fierce scowl on his craggy face. Jake braced for a confrontation. The man hadn’t been happy about the loss nor the lack of perceived playing time for his son, Larry.
The man pointed a finger as he drew close. “I want to talk to you.”
The few remaining parents glanced in their direction. Annie slowed her pace and watched them closely. Jake waited for the man to unleash his complaints.
“I just want you to know I’m taking my kid off this team. I don’t want him being coached by a killer.”
Caught off guard, Jake had no ready response. “Mr. Franklin...”
“No. There’s nothing you can say. I heard about what you did. Driving drunk, killing that boy. That’s not the kind of coach I want around my kid.”
“Stop it.” Annie appeared at his side. “You shouldn’t talk about things you know nothing about.”
Franklin turned his glare on her. “I know enough.”
“No, you don’t. There’s more to the story than you know. Jake is a great coach. His past has nothing to do with that.”
Jake was stunned by her fierce defense. Her blue eyes were dark and flashing with lightning. Her mouth was held in a tight line and her body rigid with anger. Gathering his senses, he touched her arm. “Don’t bother.”
“He has no right to say those things. He doesn’t know the truth.”
“I know my kid is too good for this team and we’re leaving. And when I tell people about this, you won’t be coaching anyone ever again.”
“No. You can’t do that.”
Jake tugged her back and laid an arm across her shoulders. “Don’t. Let him go.”
“But he could ruin everything for you.”
Jake shook his head. “He won’t. He’s been looking for a reason to get his boy on another team since we started. He doesn’t care about my past. That was only an excuse. All he wants is a team that will let his son play a lot so he can prove how good he is.”
Annie exhaled a pent-up breath. “I can’t believe he said those things.”
“I can’t believe you stood up for me.”
“I always stand up for people I care about. I couldn’t let him attack you that way.”
Jake smiled, his heart beating erratically at Annie’s behavior. “So, you care about me?”
“Of course.” Her eyes widened as if she just realized what she’d said and the implications. “I mean, we’re friends. We have each other’s backs.” She took a deep breath and stared at the ground. “I guess I should have kept quiet.”
“No. I like having a champion. You were amazing.”
“I just reacted without thinking. The way I would if someone threatened my boys.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your faith in me. It means a lot. I haven’t had a lot of people in my life willing to defend me.”
She smiled. “Well, you do now.”
Jake walked her to her car and watched as she and the boys drove away, his heart bursting with hope. Annie had stood up for him. Defended him like a mother lion. Had she finally been able to draw a line between his past and his present? He hoped so. But could she bury his past completely or would it spring up like a poisonous weed to threaten any progress they might make?
* * *
Annie poured a glass of tea and handed it to Jake. They’d spent the afternoon putting up the large carnival signs at the entrance to the school and one near the Hastings’s Welcome sign. They still had several more to place around town. The carnival was only weeks away and advertising was key.
Seated at the table, she debated whether to bring up the topic of Mr. Franklin again. The whole incident had left her concerned. “Has Mr. Franklin caused any trouble lately?”
“No. I didn’t think he would. He only wants attention for his son. He’ll be focused on that now, not me.”
“How do you think he found out about the accident? You said your records were sealed.”
“They are, but there are still a few people around who might remember. I suspect it had more to do with Clark putting ideas in his head.”
That man again. Annie’s anger stirred. “Clark? Why would he want to do that to you?”
“He likes to make himself look good.”
She set her jaw. “I’d like to set him straight on that.”
“You can’t talk people out of bad behavior. I learned that a long time ago.”
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I know. I tried to get Rick to stop drinking. I tried threats and pleading and even an intervention at one point, but nothing worked. It was like the alcohol was his life. He had to have it. He...” She froze. That look on Jake’s face the day she was emptying the liquor bottles. She knew where she’d seen it. On Rick’s face.
She looked at Jake, the realization making her stomach churn. “You’re an alcoholic.”
He held her gaze, his brown eyes darkening. The muscle in his jaw flexed rapidly. “Yes. Recovering. Thirteen years sober.”
He didn’t ask the question, but she knew he wondered how she figured it out. “The day I was emptying all the liquor bottles. You had the strangest look on your face. I couldn’t place it until now. It was the same one Rick had when he needed a drink. He always looked like he was hungry and desperate.”
Jake rubbed his forehead. “I was caught off guard. The smell took me back.” He swallowed.
“So whenever your guard is down, you’ll start drinking again?”
“No. I went and called my sponsor for support. I didn’t head to a bar. I told you I’ve been sober for thirteen years. I sponsor other recovering alcoholics.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
Annie didn’t know what to say. All her perceptions about Jake were shattered. She liked him, she was beginning to trust him, maybe even fall for him. Then to find out he was just like her husband. She stood, putting distance between them, unable to face him. What should she do now? Ask him to leave? She’d vowed to never have anything to do with an alcoholic again, and here she was, working with one, letting him help her around the house and spend time with her boys.
She shook her head. “This won’t work. I can’t have you around the boys.”
“I know your husband was an alcoholic, but that doesn’t mean...”
She held up her hands. She’d heard all the excuses from Rick. “Yes, he was, and I will never go back to that kind of life.”
“What happened? You mentioned the gambling but not the drinking.”
Annie closed her eyes, fighting the pain and memories flooding her mind. “They went hand-in-hand. The more he gambled, the more he drank, and the more he turned into someone I didn’t know. He became angry and nasty when he was drunk. It was almost a relief when...” She clamped her mouth shut and crossed her arms over her chest. She was not going to air any more of her dirty laundry to this man.
“I’m sorry, Annie. You and the boys deserved better. But that’s not my story. Every alcoholic has one. I’d like to tell you mine if you’re ready to hear it.”
“I don’t know.” She did want to hear. She wanted to think he was different, but she knew for a fact that once a person was an alcoholic, they always would be. That couldn’t change. Jake started to speak, but remained at the table, giving her space.
“I never drank much. I didn’t like the taste of it. I faked it a lot, holding one can all night. The night of the accident, I’d gone with Bobby Lee because he said we’d have our pick of girls. He knew everyone in town so I figured I had nothing to lose.”
“I thought you and my cousin were friends.”
“We were but not close. He didn’t care if I was a foster kid or not. All he was interested in was having fun. He was wasted and asked me to drive him home. You know what happened next.”
/>
“Yes. I’ve heard this tale.” She couldn’t keep the sarcasm from her tone.
“But you haven’t heard the rest. I have a foggy recollection of the next few days. When it all settled down and I’d agreed to your aunt’s arrangement, I still couldn’t grasp what had happened. Knowing I’d killed someone, even accidentally, tore me apart. I didn’t know how to live with that kind of guilt. It should have been me. I’d never been much of a drinker before that, but I discovered that the only thing that would ease the pain was to drink it away.”
Ridiculous idea. “You can’t drink it away. Alcohol only makes things worse. I could never convince Rick of that.”
“I know. I went down a dark road after that. I lost my college scholarship and ended up working in a hotel as a janitor. All I wanted to do was get to the bottle at the end of the day and forget. I wasn’t like your husband. I became sad and depressed when I was drunk. If it wasn’t for Mrs. Elliot, I might still be there.”
“Your foster mom?”
“She stayed in touch and never stopped trying to get me to stop drinking.”
“How did she manage it?”
“She took me to church.”
Annie exhaled a skeptical puff of air. “And you saw the light, is that it?”
“Something like that. The point is she didn’t give up on me. She got me to go to Alcoholics Anonymous and helped me get back into college. I’d lost a year of my life, but I knew I didn’t want to drink again.”
She found that hard to swallow. “Never?”
“I didn’t say that. It’s a day-to-day struggle that I’ll have to manage for the rest of my life. But my motivation to stay sober is stronger than my desire to drink.”
“Rick tried Alcoholics Anonymous. He tried Gamblers Anonymous too, but they didn’t work. When I thought he was at his meetings, he was at the casinos drinking with one hand and rolling dice with the other, instead of being home with his wife and children.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “My boys deserved a father.”
“Yes, they did.”
His story had eased some of her shock, but not her determination. He was right. Everyone had a story and his was sympathetic but it was a story. Nothing more. “Please, Jake, you have to understand. I can’t risk them being exposed to that environment again. I swore I’d never get involved with another alcoholic.”
“They won’t be. I’m not that stupid kid anymore. We’re not involved. We’re just friends. Coworkers. Neighbors.”
“My boys adore you. What happens when you fall off the wagon and they see you behaving like their father?”
“That won’t happen.”
“Can you guarantee that?”
He rubbed his forehead. They both knew he couldn’t. He met her gaze. “What do you want to do?”
She had no idea. Part of her wanted to take the twins and run away. But this was her home now and she refused to leave it. A dull throbbing started at the side of her head. “I don’t know. I need time to think.”
He stood and moved from behind the table, but kept a wide birth between them. “Will you be at practice tonight?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“Can we talk about this more later?”
She had no answer. Her heart was burning, her head pounding and her thoughts were so twisted she could barely think straight. She nodded her head and turned away. She heard him walk out of the room and the soft click of the front door. Her knees buckled and she grabbed the counter for support.
She’d heard how some women kept choosing the wrong man over and over, but she never considered herself one of them. Until now.
* * *
Jake tapped on Harley’s office door at the back of the church before entering. His friend was expecting him, but he doubted he knew what he wanted to discuss.
Harley came from behind his desk, his face clearly showing his concern. After a quick man hug they settled down to talk. “This sounds serious. What happened?”
Jake stared at his hands a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Annie found out I’m an alcoholic.” A bitter laugh escaped his throat. “She basically kicked me out of her life.”
“What do you mean? In what way?”
“She wants nothing to do with me. Her husband was an alcoholic and he died in a car wreck. Sound familiar? He made life miserable for her and the kids. She doesn’t want another drinker in her life. And I can’t blame her.”
“You told her you’d been sober for a long time?”
He nodded. “I told her everything, about the accident, Mrs. Elliot and finding my faith.”
“She’s scared. You have to realize that.” Harley leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. “Let me ask you this. What are your feelings toward Annie?”
Jake stared out the window. He wasn’t sure he could answer that question. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should figure that out first. Then you’ll know how to proceed from there. And Jake, if you find that you’re falling in love with her, fight for her. Don’t step back and let her get away the way you do other things.”
He took offense at the remark. “I don’t do that.”
“Yes, you do. It was your way of coping with the bad situations. Close off, accept and move on. Don’t accept defeat with Annie. I think she’s someone who could make you happy.”
Jake doubted that, but he never dismissed his friend’s advice. He’d been right too many times. After promising to keep him informed, Jake drove home. Apparently he had some soul-searching of his own to do. And a lot of praying.
All he could see at the moment was that he had yet another strike against him where Annie was concerned. She would never forgive him now.
The thought of not having Annie in his life hurt more than he’d expected. Maybe Harley was right. He was falling for Annie. But how did he fight for her when there was a mountain of obstacles between them?
Chapter Ten
Annie took the tissue Nina offered and dabbed at her eyes. She’d fallen apart the moment she’d sat down at her Widow’s Walk meeting. The women were all being very understanding. “I’m sorry I’m monopolizing the whole hour.”
Jen, who was sitting beside her tonight, patted her arm. “Nonsense. That’s what we’re all here for. To help each other through the hard times. Go on.”
“It seems like alcohol is ruling my life.” She stared at the twisted tissue in her hand. “First I find that my teetotaling aunt had secret stashes of booze all over the house, not to mention my husband’s addiction. Then I learned yesterday that the man I’ve been telling you about...”
“The hunky teacher?”
Annie nodded. “He’s an alcoholic too. I had no idea. He seemed so steady and kind and caring.” She laid her palms against her cheeks to cool the rising heat. “What’s wrong with me that I missed that? How do I keep getting mixed up with men who are addicted?”
Paula spoke up. “Have you ever seen him take a drink?”
“No.”
Charlotte met her gaze. “Did he tell you his story?”
Annie remembered Jake using the same words. He’d wanted to tell her his story. “Yes. He told me how he started drinking after the accident and how he got sober again.”
“How long?” Nina spoke softly.
“He claims it’s been thirteen years.”
“But you don’t believe him.”
Paula’s comment was formed as a statement, not a question. “I don’t know. My husband couldn’t stay sober more than fifteen minutes. It was just such a shock. I never suspected a thing.”
“I’m a recovering alcoholic.”
A series of soft gasps circled the room. Annie stared at Charlotte. She was the last woman on earth she would have thought would drink to excess. Tall, slender and extremely stylish, she gave the appearance of a woman who had it all toget
her.
Nina smiled at the woman. “Why don’t you tell your story. It might help Annie understand.”
Charlotte crossed her legs. “It’s not a very interesting story. I’d suffered from back pain for years. I finally had the surgery but it didn’t help. I started to drink in the evenings so I could sleep. Then I started in the afternoon. One morning I woke up and realized I was reaching for a bottle instead of a coffee mug. It scared me so I got help. The point is, Annie, every drunk is different. Some get angry and physical, some slink off into a corner to brood, and some like me, are functioning alcoholics.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t worry about this man’s addiction?”
“No. I’m just saying you can’t label everyone the same. I’ve been sober seven years. Someone who’s been sober as long as this man, that’s admirable. He should be commended.”
“But what if he starts again. How can I risk my boys being exposed to that?”
“Don’t anticipate.” Nina met her gaze. “It took me a long time to grasp this and I still have trouble. But the moment you start anticipating what might happen, you lose your peace and your perspective. Wait on the Lord. Let him do his job and see how it works it out.”
She made it sound so easy. Jake was a good guy. And she did admire him for his long stretch of sobriety, but how did she set aside the painful memories Rick had inflicted? She could never return to that way of life.
Nina smiled and made eye contact with each woman in the group. “We all have temptations. For some, it’s alcohol or drugs. For others, it’s eating or gaming, whatever that thing is that we want more than we should. What’s your temptation? How hard is it to resist?”
Charlotte and Nina had given her a lot to think about on the way home. Deep down she really wanted Jake to be the good guy. Her heart told her to trust him, that he wasn’t like Rick, but her head was telling her to back away and keep him out of her life.
Lord, help her, she had no idea which voice to listen to.
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