Graham's Resolution Trilogy Bundle: Books 1-3

by A. R. Shaw

  He watched as she beamed a smile in return, but her posture wasn’t in it. Graham was worried about both her and Bang; both of them had withdrawn from the group since Ennis’s death. He suspected Bang was mourning Ennis, but also torturing himself about his role in Addy’s disability—the boy had been the one to expose her to the virus that left her deaf. With Macy, he figured Ennis’s death just exacerbated her grief over her own parents’ deaths and the uncertainty of life in general.

  There was nothing Graham could do to change it; optimism was in short supply these days. He finished the nail with one more whack and then pulled the next one out of his mouth quickly so he could speak unhindered. As she headed for the cabin door, he called out, “Hey, Macy?”

  She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him. “Yeah?”

  He couldn’t think of the words to say. He wanted to fix her, to mend her. He wanted to say, “You are going to be fine,” but he could only stare at her standing there with muddy boots, a frown, and Sheriff by her side.

  “What, Graham?”

  “Uh, could you take the clothes off the line for Tala? They aren’t going to dry in this rain. We’re going over to Clarisse’s for a visit.” Yeah, that’s good. Some work will make her feel better. Isn’t that what his mother always used to say? Something about idle hands being a bad thing . . . too much time to think.

  “Sure, just a sec,” Macy said; she continued on her moping journey up the porch to retrieve the basket.

  Graham then looked down at Bang and realized he’d been out there with him all morning working, and he was nothing more than a sad sack. Every attempt to brighten the boy only brought him down further. Everything he tried was wrong; nothing seemed to work. It’s all bullshit, Graham thought.

  Suddenly the opposite of what his mother had taught him popped into his mind. He remembered his mother saying, “Grim was catching” and to “Grim-up” when he and his sister were cutting-up in public—which of course only brought them into another fit of giggles. Now, the older he got, the more he thought his mother had been a master of reverse psychology.

  What the hell was that about?

  Dalton was having the same problem over at the preppers’ camp. He was not only dealing with the loss of his wife but also coping with two grief-stricken young sons. In fact, the entire camp was still getting over the loss of four members. The weight of it all made his longtime friend somewhat, but understandably, distant and angry at times.

  Graham pounded the next nail into position with more force than was necessary and reached down to retrieve the shingle offered from Bang. He tried a smile on the boy, not expecting it to work. “You want to go with Tala and me later to see Clarisse? Maybe Addy will be around. You can see for yourself that she’s fine.”

  Bang shook his head and even looked hurt at the suggestion.

  Dammit, Graham thought. That’s it. I won’t even try anymore. They’ll just have to come around in their own time.

  “Okay. All done,” Graham said as he hammered the last nail in the plank that finished off the roof to the new partition. He climbed down the ladder and pulled it away. “Go let Tala know we’re leaving for the prepper camp after I get cleaned up.”

  Without a word, Bang shot off inside while Graham looked on in frustration. He collapsed the ladder and headed for the new shop to put it away. At least they’d managed to get both buildings updated before the hot summer arrived. Having McCann and Mark around made work go much faster. Though they lived for the most part without electricity, they opted to use a generator for the power tools, and that enabled them to get things done much faster.

  It weighed on Graham, how these kids were going to grow up with aging gasoline and how they were going to live in the future. He and Dalton were having some serious talks about the younger generations and how the adults might be able to set them up now to live. They’d either have to teach them how to live without life’s conveniences like power, modern medicine, and processed goods, or they would perish. It was a harsh task, with tremendous consequences if they failed. Graham couldn’t get over feeling as if humanity had already been defeated by being dependent on one way of doing things, and this was an opportunity to begin again. Still, he thought, it’s too soon to worry about this. They had not recovered enough yet from humanity’s last catastrophe.

  Graham pulled off his soiled shirt, and even though it was still cool with the spring breeze, he bent over and used the hose to shower the sweat off his torso, face, and neck. When he looked up, he saw Tala walking toward him. Her beauty mesmerized and startled him beyond the cold shock of the icy water; at six months pregnant, she not only glowed with motherhood but was more beautiful than any woman he’d ever known. Graham could tell she appreciated his observations by the smile she beamed back at him.

  “Will you stop?” she said. “Come on, or we’ll be walking back in the dark!”

  “We could drive, you know.”

  “It’s good for me to walk. It’s not that far.”

  He grabbed a damp shirt off the clothesline, put it on, and began buttoning it up. “Isn’t this funny? It’s like we’re going to the doctor for a prenatal checkup.”

  “Yeah; I was always in favor of natural birth, but I never thought I’d be doing it without the option of hospitals at all.”

  “Well, at least we have Clarisse and Steven if anything goes wrong. They’re better than nothing,” Graham said as he finished buttoning his shirt and laced his rifle over his shoulder. He grabbed his cane, took Tala’s hand in his, and then headed for the trail to the prepper camp—at a slower pace these days, since his wild dog attack.

  “That’s what I was just thinking about actually. What is Bang’s generation going to do when they’re our age?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “They won’t have the benefit of Clarisse or Steven for medical care, Dalton and me for leadership, or your food preserving and gardening skills.”

  “Well, I thought that’s what we were all doing—teaching them what we know and how to go forward. Clarisse is teaching Addy all she knows about medicine. Hunter and Kade are in training for leadership and defense. Bang is going to be a master huntsman; no one will ever go hungry with him around. McCann says Bang can also name any plant he points to already, and the little guy helps me gather herbs and natural plants for foraging with what’s available in the spring without making deadly mistakes. I think it will all happen naturally; each child will find what he or she enjoys most and seems to have a knack for. You worry too much,” she kidded him.

  “Ha! I don’t think I can worry enough. In fact, I’m sure I’m forgetting something vital; I just don’t know what it is yet,” he said.

  Their conversation had to stop as Graham guided Tala over the loud and furious river. The pause gave him a chance to think about what she had said; he knew she was mostly correct, but he couldn’t help thinking they were missing something. They didn’t have enough people between the two camps to learn and develop a new society that would last and grow. As they walked past the bridge, the noise lessened, and he continued their conversation.

  “Right now, we’re working from sunup to sundown, and we’ll need to do that until it starts snowing again. Then we’ll use the winter downtime to repair our equipment, tan hides, and make up anything we forgot or didn’t have time for in the warmer months. Our child,” he said, placing his hand on Tala’s stomach, “will depend on the younger generation getting it right the first time. There’s no room for costly mistakes.”

  “I know,” Tala said, trying to ease his concerns. “But at least we have the preppers now, too. Macy’s been there learning how to operate the radio, McCann is there right now, helping Sam tan hides, and we’re working on getting cows together. This”—she raised her arms to gesture to their new environment—“is like a little town now. It’s a new beginning. We’re starting to thrive now, not just survive. It will all work out, Graham.”

  “It’s hell in the winter. We’ve g
ot two depressed kids on our hands, and I’m terrified you’re going to name the baby after Ennis.”

  Tala laughed. “Well, there is that . . . Don’t you see, Graham? We’ve made it. Yes, we lost Ennis, but we’ve gained Addy. Yes, the kids are still mourning, but don’t you think they deserve enough time to get over their grief? They have to go through the pain to recognize happiness. They’ll get better in time. Let them grieve as much as they need to,” she said as she ran one hand over the nape of his neck. “You’re still grieving too, I can see it,” she said in a soothing tone and leaned into him as they walked together. “By summer they’ll be fine and we’ll have a new one with us. And life will go on.”

  Graham kissed her on the temple as they made their way down the trail sprinkled with spring’s wildflowers. Soon, through the trees, the quarantine building could be detected, if you knew where to look. They greeted the sentry guard as they entered the doorway. “What, no pat-down this time? You guys are getting lax.”

  The guard chuckled at Graham. “She’s down in her office, as usual.”

  “Thank you.” Tala grinned at him.

  When they came to the doorway, they could see Clarisse was deep in thought as she peered down her microscope, and her “mini-me,” Addy, wasn’t far away, reading a rather large book for a girl her age and totally engrossed in the subject in front of her.

  Graham knocked on the doorframe. “Hello, Doctor . . . hey, what is your last name, anyway?”

  Clarisse looked up and, deflecting the question, said, “You can just call me Clarisse. I’m happy to see you guys today.” When she stood, the motion caused Addy to lift her head, and the girl’s bright smile showed she was happy to see them too. She walked over and gave Graham and Tala a hug.

  Tala signed, Hello. What are you reading?

  Addy raised her small hands and nimbly signed book then looked perplexed. She stepped back and glanced at Clarisse for clarification on how to sign what she wanted to say and then spelled out on human anatomy.

  Graham marveled at the girl; she’d been through so much and yet had tremendous resilience. Two months ago, the dreaded virus that had taken so many had nearly claimed Addy, but Clarisse fought back and pulled the girl from death’s door, though she couldn’t say for certain that the virus wouldn’t ever manifest itself in illness again. Now nearly eight years old, Addy was already showing a great aptitude for learning beyond her age range; her disability wasn’t dampening the girl’s free spirit one bit.

  Even her father, Sam, admonished anyone who tried to coddle Addy. If anything, he encouraged her to learn to cope; he took her deep into the woods daily and taught her how to feel the vibrations of her surroundings. The slight picking up of a breeze through the trees meant someone or something had passed her nearby. To feel a tremor through her soles near the Skagit meant the river ran higher with the melting snow than the day before.

  Graham knew Sam was trying to anticipate his daughter’s life without the sense of sound and how to prepare her for coming challenges. Graham had never seen such dedication from a father and hoped to emulate the man with his own children.

  “So you’re here for a prenatal checkup? How funny is that?” Graham heard Clarisse say to Tala.

  “Yes,” Tala said. “The baby has been kicking a lot lately.”

  “That’s good news,” Clarisse said, leading them into an examination room adjacent to her office.

  Graham helped Tala get onto the table Clarisse had readied for her, then helped her lean back.

  “We’ll listen to the heartbeat first with this special Doppler stethoscope. It allows me to hear the baby’s heartbeat better than a regular stethoscope,” Clarisse explained as she adjusted the sensor over the ultrasound gel she’d applied to Tala’s belly. Right away, a whooshing sound emitted through the device in Clarisse’s hand. She angled the sensor around until a strong thrumming began. Graham smiled; he couldn’t help himself. His gaze met Tala’s, and he thought, This moment may be the happiest we’ve had since it all began.

  Graham then remembered doing this with his first wife, and pushed the memory away as fast as he could. Not now. But along with the memories came the hurt and an odd feeling of betrayal—even though, given the circumstances, he knew Nelly would understand.

  He turned his head and saw Addy leaning in the doorway; Clarisse saw her, too. “Do you guys mind if she listens in? I mean, participates,” she said, quickly catching herself and winking at Tala. “She’s my official understudy.”

  “Of course not,” Tala said, and Clarisse motioned for Addy to join them.

  Clarisse placed the Doppler stethoscope unit in Addy’s hands and signed to her to close her eyes and focus on the vibrations coming through the speaker. Graham was confused by this gesture, but as Addy’s expression changed from contemplative to a bright smile, he got it. She could still feel the heartbeat vibrating through the Doppler unit she held in her hands.

  “So she can feel the vibrations, huh?” Graham commented. In addition to the expectation of hearing his own child’s heartbeat, he was in awe of an experience that he’d thought would be completely lost to Addy. She could feel the baby’s heartbeat!

  Addy’s grin was contagious, and Graham noticed Tala discretely wiping her own happy tears away. Addy signed fast and strong to Tala, then handed the unit back to Clarisse and placed her hand on Tala’s belly, hoping for the same vibration.

  Clarisse spoke to them as Addy continued to feel for vibrations.

  “The baby’s heartbeat sounds perfect for this stage in your pregnancy. Any pains or minor contractions?”

  “No, none at all.”

  “Good; I’d like to take a blood sample and run some tests. Keep taking the prenatal vitamins and only do what you feel is safe. No strenuous movement.”

  Graham was thinking it, and didn’t want to ask, but had to. “Any chance we can tell if the baby will have the virus from the blood tests?”

  “I’m afraid not. We’ll have to wait and see. There’s something else I should tell you,” she said and took a deep breath in anticipation of their reaction.

  Graham didn’t like the sound of that. “What? What is it?”

  “I’ve never actually delivered a baby before.”

  Graham’s eyes became round orbs and Clarisse put one hand on his knee to still his reaction.

  “I’ve done my share of surgeries. I’ve seen it done. I’m versed in all the complications and I’m confident I can do it, but I’ve never actually done it.”

  “Okay, now I’m nervous as hell.” Graham didn’t mind saying so as his own heartbeat increased rapidly.

  Tala tried to reassure him. “I’m sure she’ll do fine, Graham.”

  Addy had covered Tala’s belly after wiping off the gel, and Graham watched as Tala signed to the child, You are going to make a wonderful doctor.

  He had to agree.

  Thank you, Addy returned, then scampered off to resume her reading.

  Graham asked Clarisse, “Did she have a hard time at all with the hearing loss?”

  “Oh, yeah; Sam and I spent nearly three days with a devastated little girl. Neither one of us slept. We were with her around the clock. Then on the fourth day, she just seemed to put the anguish behind her. I began teaching her sign language, and Sam is teaching her how to live using her other senses, as you know. It hasn’t been that long, and she has adjusted remarkably well. She seems to have made the choice to simply put it behind her.”

  “That’s amazing,” Graham said.

  “How’s Bang doing?” Clarissa asked. “The last time we talked, he was still having a hard time coping.”

  “He still is. I keep asking him if he’d like to come and see Addy for himself, that she’s fine. He won’t, though. He’s still dealing with that and with Ennis’s death. It’s been hard on Macy, too.”

  “Well, give them time,” Clarisse suggested.

  “We will. They both have to grow up too fast in this world,” Tala said.

  “How
are Dalton’s boys doing?” Graham asked.

  “They’re both very different kids, and each is dealing with it in his own way.” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “It’s awful that these children have witnessed so much. Let’s hope those days are behind us and we can start moving forward again.”

  Graham could not agree more; perhaps having this new life within Tala would bring back their confidence. Where there had been so much death, the prospect of a birth brought hope to all of them.

  Chapter 4 Triple-Loaded

  Over the nervous whinny of his horses, the snap of a distant twig followed by an ominous growl brought Dutch’s eyes open in an instant. In calculating the rapid advance, he only had time to rise from the wagon’s bench seat. At the same time, he lifted the long shotgun by the pistol grip and aimed just ahead of where his target would be in a nanosecond. Without the proper hold, the first resounding shot rang through his entire body and sent shock waves through the air. The recoil sent the weapon straight up, but he got a hold of it on its way down.

  Dutch quickly chambered the next round and fired again; the shot caught the second of what looked to be a pack of six wild dogs. The first rounds were buckshot, designed to take down their targets with a spray. That took care of the first few, but the rest continued to advance.

  He had anticipated a pack and had loaded the gun with a triple-combo load. The next rounds were double-ought buckshot, a larger pellet size than the number 1 buckshot, which took down the third and fourth dogs. They kept coming, though, and the fifth one was going for the mare’s belly, causing the wagon to sway when she jerked away. Dutch pumped and chambered again, saying “Steady” to the mare before he fired the last set of his shotgun’s load. The lead slugs, meant as a coup de grace, stopped the attacking dog in its tracks. With his ears still ringing, he quickly pumped again as the sixth dog came right for him. With no more than three feet of space between them, he aimed straight at the furry beast’s face and fired as it sprung from its haunches, aiming for Dutch’s chest, fangs barred.