by Frost, H. Q.
“No.” I hold out the mask. “I came for this.” God, I hope he buys that because I have no freaking idea why I’m here other than I feel myself on a self-destructive path I need to stop immediately.
Glancing over his shoulder and down the hall, he says, “There’re a few more things of yours in the spare room.”
I don’t want to go down the hall with him. I don’t want to be reminded of when I lived here. The first real place I lived without my parents.
“You look great, Lil,” he says and I frown. I’m wearing eye makeup, lipstick, and a short purple dress. I’m wearing the entire reason we broke up.
“How’s work?” I question.
“I’m no longer employed.”
When I nodded, I didn’t act surprised enough, but I don’t care.
“How are you managing, Sloan? You don’t look well.”
“I’m managing.”
This is too awkward and I really regret being here.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you,” I say, walking to the door.
“You don’t have to go. How have you been? What’ve you been up to?”
When he grabs my hand as I reach for the knob, he feels the diamond and his eyes shoot to my ring. Slowly, his hand falls from mine and he’s gawking.
“You’re. . . .” The dismal eyes boring into mine are starting to make me tremble. It was so stupid to come here. I know the man can be violent!
“Take care of yourself, Sloan.” I put my hand to his face like an apology and it’s a huge mistake.
His hand is at the back of my neck and his lips are at mine; desperate lips. I drop the Tiki mask. This is a kiss we’ve never shared and I can’t pull away immediately. It gives me a pulse between my legs and when his hand slips to my hip, I step into him, feeling his erection on my thigh.
Oh god, this is so different from what we’ve ever had and it’s everything I wanted from him in the end.
What the fuck am I doing! I push him back and step back while putting my hand to my mouth, seeing my lipstick smeared across his lips. I push past him to the bathroom and lock the door before rushing to the medicine cabinet. My fingers graze the top shelf; I threw that razor away, dammit. In the cupboard, I pull a white washcloth out to wipe away the smeared lipstick. Scrubbing at my face, I turn the area around my mouth red.
I need to get the fuck out of here! I really have gone insane.
*LUXE*
“Lil,” he said as she rushed to the door, picking the Tiki mask up from the ground.
Without looking at him, she was out the door and in the elevator before she could even blink. Leaning against the mirrored wall, she closed her eyes as tears sprung. The tears were for the intolerable feelings she had for him, and the tears were because what she did was cheating on Ian unless she told him. Quickly wiping her eyes, she rushed out of the elevator and hugged Spencer, then slipped away before he could start a conversation.
In the car, she gripped the steering wheel, taking a few deep breaths.
“Fuck him!” she screamed, and she meant Ian. He was with his girlfriend and she needed him.
With nowhere else to go, she headed back to the condo. The blue tinted windows made it stand out amongst the others, helping her find it with ease.
While inside, she frantically looked around, wondering what she should do. Tell Ian or keep it to herself? Would Sloan eventually tell him if he ever found out she was engaged to Ian? Fanning her face as her breathing began to pick up, there was a knock at the door. The movers were there with her things from Ian’s place.
In His eyes there’s a world that does not exist
I’ve called Lily three times, now I decide to try my father. “Are you two still together?”
“Can’t locate your soon to be wife already, eh?” He laughs and I grit my teeth. “We are not still together. We had an elegant lunch, she informed me of how dirty she plays, and she dropped me at the boat.”
“What?” I snap. What the fuck does that mean? How dirty she plays!
“I’m at the boat.” He’s acting like he doesn’t understand my outburst, but I know the son of a bitch fully knows what I’m pissed about.
“What did you two discuss? What did you do?” I’m trying not to have implication in my tone.
He laughs. “Oh come on, Ian,” he says this like I’m an ignorant bastard that doesn’t know my fiancée. “She likes money.” His mocking laughter is infuriating. “Anyway, I’m not with her.”
I’m racing to the condo and thank god the roads are clear because I have to locate her right now. The convertible in the drive is the first thing I see as I approach, then the moving guys.
Rushing in, I call out loudly into the busy condo, “Lily?”
She’s pointing to the bedroom where two men are moving all her shoes. Her lipstick is wiped off and around her mouth is pink like she’s been rubbing it, or something’s been rubbing it.
“You told my dad you’re with me for the money?” I snap. I was never going to say this, but after seeing her face, I’m livid.
Quietly, she says, “What?” while embarrassedly glancing at the movers. “What’re you talking about?”
Fuck, I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so she remembers what I can do to her and she forgets whomever she’s been kissing. And so help me god, if it was my father, that man won’t live to see another day.
“I spoke to my father.” I’m trying to act like I know everything and that she should come clean.
“Okay.” She slowly nods, still confused.
Not sure what to say, I kind of stammer.
“I didn’t say I was with you for the money, Ian. Why would you say that? Did he say I said that?” The way her face drops, I can see her feelings are genuinely hurt.
Shit. My dad always does shit like this to me.
“He insinuated it, and. . . .” I wait for her to fill in the blank.
She’s looking at me like I’m stupidly insane. “And what?”
“Did he try anything?” The petulance in my voice makes me cringe at myself.
“No!” she snickers. “He put his hand on my knee, but I brushed him off. Those feelings from before.” With a glance toward the movers, she pulls me toward the kitchen. “I don’t have those anymore. Your father is an asshole, Ian. A very attractive one, but he’s still an arrogant prick.”
“I know,” I say softly. “I’m sorry I let you go—”
“How’s Karen?”
“She hurt her knee, but she’ll be fine. I have a bed being delivered today for the office room and her sister is there for the night.” When I look at her it’s killing me not knowing who she’s been kissing. There’s no doubt that’s what those red marks around her mouth are. I know because I’ve done it to her before.
Her hand gently lands on mine, resting on the countertop.
“Ashley’s coming and she’s staying the night.”
I love her so much. How could I do this to her?
*LUXE*
Wanting a night with his fiancée at the new condo alone, Ian wasn’t happy his sister was coming. There was no reason he couldn’t stay, but he knew Ashley would consume most of her time.
“Lily,” he softly said, swiping his thumb over her lips, wanting her to tell him whom she’d been kissing.
“I saw Sloan.”
Ian took an apprehensive step back and his eyes enlarged.
“Mac?” It was all he could think to say.
“Of course.” She scowled at him like he was senseless.
“Where?”
“I went to the apartment,” she admitted. “Your father reminded me a lot of him and I had to see—”
“See what!” he screamed, startling her. “What the fuck did you need to see?” His continuous shouting got the attention of the movers.
Lilith glanced at them, humiliated; one man was smirking and another seemed worried by Ian’s behavior.
“Leave,” she whispered as her eyes went back to Ian’s.
His angr
y face immediately softened and the perplexity that took over told her he wasn’t expecting that.
“Leave!” she threateningly growled, pointing to the door. “Do not step foot in this house again today! Leave!”
He stormed one way and she stormed the other.
Ashley arrived at six, interrupting Lilith aimlessly organizing her shoes.
Pressing her hand to Lilith’s forehead, Ashley told her, “You don’t look good.”
“Today’s been awful. Can we go back to Barbados?” The forced smile on her face wasn’t convincing.
“You too? I’ve had the worst block. I seriously drew a stick figure today. A fucking stick figure!”
Laughing with Ashley eased some of Lilith’s anxieties. Smoking a joint helped her unwind, until nausea consumed her because kissing Sloan kept slipping into her thoughts, along with her fight with Ian. He hadn’t tried to contact her, and she was too stubborn to get ahold of him. Having Ashley lay in the new bed with her helped her get to sleep.
***
Ian woke alone in his bed; he looked over expecting to see Lilith or Karen, but he had no one. Karen preferred sleeping alone because it gave her more room to sprawl out, but once she was awake, she expected constant care.
“I’m going to be late,” he told her when she requested another piece of toast.
“If I could get it myself, I would.”
He stood at the toaster, tapping his foot, wondering what Lilith was doing or whom she was with.
On his way into the office, he called Ashley.
She groggily muttered, “Yeah?”
“Are you sleeping? It’s seven forty-five in the morning.”
In a half asleep tone, she grumbled, “Yeah, I know.”
“Are you home?”
“No.” She couldn’t fight her eyes open.
“Where are you?”
Her sleepy tone began to fade, being replaced with anger. “Why are you calling?”
“Shut up,” Ian heard Lilith groan in the background and he smiled, then he frowned. They were in the same bed together clearly, and now he had to worry about his sister sleeping with her again.
“Are you with my wife?”
“No, I’m with your fiancée,” Ashley retorted.
Lilith fell quiet when she realized it was Ian.
“I wanted to know what we were going to do for mom’s birthday,” he lied.
“The same. Have the party at the house, but this year we really should get a stripper. She seems to be breaking out a little more. She hired a pool boy while I was gone.”
“What?” Ian snapped, annoyed by talk of his mother’s sexual needs.
“Exactly. I think she’s fuckin’ him too—”
“Ashley!” he groaned. “Send me an email of the details so I can order invites. I’ll talk to you later.” He didn’t give her a chance to say anything before hanging up.
“Ian? Ian? Oh you want me to kiss Lilith for you? Ohhh, like that? Okay, if you insist,” Ashley said into the dead phone and Lilith gave her a gentle push. “He insisted,” Ashley laughed, biting Lilith’s shoulder, making her squirm with laughter.
After making breakfast, Ashley started reading a book that was on Lilith’s dresser.
“This is terrible,” she mumbled through a mouth full of bacon. “I can’t believe you read this shit.”
“Where’d you get that?”
“Your dresser.”
“I mean the bacon.” She giggled while shoving a piece of Ashley’s into her mouth.
“Your refrigerator and freezer are stocked. My dad really likes you, babe. I meant to tell you yesterday, but your Sloan drama got me hotheaded.”
“All right, please don’t talk about that anymore.” Lilith rolled her eyes, pouring juice into a glass. “God.” She put her hand to her stomach. “I thought a run would help; usually working out does.”
Looking at her disgusted, Ashley asked, “You sick?”
“I think it’s all mental.” Lilith sipped the juice.
“I know it is. Stop stressing yourself about stupid shit. I’m gonna shower.” Ashley pinched her butt and walked away.
Staring at her phone, Lilith wished Ian would contact her, and he did the same while sitting at breakfast with his client.
“A nice girl. Young girl,” his client explained what he was looking for. “Legal age of course, but maybe look barely legal.” Putting his hands in front of his chest, he said, “Big boobs. Girly but smart.”
“I have the perfect girl.”
“But no sex!” the client said sternly.
“No sex.” Ian smiled.
“Thursday night is my dinner. She can be available for Thursday?”
“Thursday is perfect.”
If She goes with the tide
I just want to hear from Ian. I miss him and feel terrible about our fight, even though it wasn’t my fault. On my run, Shaun called, so while in the shower, I try to think about him, but Ian keeps taking over my fantasies. I need to see my fiancé!
Ashley is going to stay with me all day. I think she can tell something’s wrong; I just wish I could snap out of it. It doesn’t help that Ian apparently isn’t talking to me.
I’m helping Ashley get creative by stripping, she says it helps, but I think she just misses me. Although, while I’m dancing, she is drawing and writing, so I don’t stop. I’m not into it though, I don’t feel sexy, I feel . . . lost. The bite mark on my wrist keeps drawing my attention because it’s purple today.
Not looking up from her sketchpad, she says, “You can stop.”
I wish we could still have sex; I think sex might help me snap out of this mood.
“Have you thought about the wedding?” she then asks and glances up at me.
I’m relieved she looks back at her sketchpad because the terror across my face would start an in depth conversation I don’t want to have right now.
“Uh. I don’t think it’s going to be a wedding. Just going to go to the court house, ya know?”
“Lame,” she blubbers.
“Do you think Karen would be a bridesmaid?” I then say, accomplishing my goal to make her laugh.
“Better idea, let’s push Karen off the balcony at Ian’s.”
“Hmm, not a bad idea.” I grin and walk away before calling out, “I’m kidding!”
“You’re not!” she yells back to me and I smirk, looking in the refrigerator.
I’m not hungry but I’ve been doing this all day. I look, I don’t see anything I want, I walk away. This time I grab a block of cheese and start cutting because maybe if I just feed myself I’ll stop with this senseless game. My phone is ringing and I glance up, seeing it’s Ian. The fact I’ve been dying to hear his voice causes a flutter in my stomach.
“Hello?” I answer, trying to sound like I’m causally hanging around and not waiting for his call like a lovestruck teen.
“Dinner tonight?” His tone gives nothing away as to if he’s still angry with me.
“Where would you like to go?”
“I’d like you to cook something.”
My lips turn up on their own accord. How does he make things seem so perfect when they’re not?
“I love you, Ian,” I whisper.
“I love you, baby. I’ll see you around six.”
Relief ripples through me like a slow rising tide. I love this man immensely.
*LUXE*
Ian walked in to the amazing aromas of roasted chicken with oil drizzle, potatoes, and roasted Brussels sprouts. Lilith wore an apron over a tank top and yoga pants and the sight of her looking like a domestic goddess made him grin.
Approaching from behind her, he said, “Smells so good, baby,” while putting his right hand to her hip and holding out flowers with his left.
With a blushing smile, she took the flowers, keeping her back to him so he didn’t see the blush, but he did see her purple wrist.
“You should see a doctor, Lily,” he softly said.
The irritated purple
skin looked painful. She did some damaging with her insane gnawing.
“It’s fine, but I do need to see a doctor for the pill. When will I be insured?”
“Shit. Tomorrow.” Standing behind her, he grabbed the vase down she was struggling to reach. “I’m assuming the furniture and whatnot are suitable?”
“I’m fine with it. I mean, I feel a little weird it’s not mine, I didn’t pick it out, someone else has used it—”
“We’ll get new everything,” he blurted.
“No! I like it. I was going to say but I like it. It’s all fine. There hasn’t been something I’ve needed that isn’t already here. Of course I love the art and I’ve added my own.” She smiled and glanced at the Tiki masks on the wall.
Ian looked over and when he saw the masks, anger filled him. He liked the masks, but he knew where the second mask came from, causing his indignation.
Lilith served dinner then walked to the refrigerator. “I have water, baby? That okay?”
“We should buy beer.”
“We should, but for now.” She set the water in front of him.
“Lily,” he said, watching her cut into her chicken.
“Hmm?” she muttered, separating her rolling Brussels sprouts.
“I hate Brussels sprouts.” That wasn’t what he wanted to say.
“Try them.” She smiled over at him. “I don’t like them either, but Peachey makes these and they’re good. Seasoned so you can barely taste. Please try them.”
“Can I meet—” He paused. “Peachey?” The word popped from his lips like her name was in a foreign language.
“Not if you say it like that.” She pushed a Brussels sprout into her mouth.
“What?” He chuckled. “Peachey. Such a weird name. Is that her stripper name?”
“Ian!” Lilith snapped.
“I’m sorry.” He laughed. “I’m kidding. Don’t be mad at me. I’m kidding. I have nothing but respect for her.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“All right, mouth.” He smirked.
“You have a problem with my mouth?”
“Not your mouth, but maybe your language.”
“That coming from the man that says ‘fuck me’ whenever he’s horny and or pissed.”