by Frost, H. Q.
“Ian, what the fuck happened?” Karen boasts.
“I’m having Dr. Russo come see her now. I called Ashley and she’s on the way. When they get here I’ll return to the office.”
“What happened to her, Ian?” Karen asks and there’s actually a tinge of concern in her voice.
“I’m not going to discuss that, Karen.” She knows we don’t discuss private matters of the girls, but she’ll nag me until I finally tell her. I’ll deal with that later.
“I don’t want you staying there. Once your sister is there, you can leave.”
“I will. Don’t worry about it, okay? Can you focus on your job?”
“I love yo—” I hang up on her before she gets her sentence out.
Lily’s in the same position, but I manage to pry her arms from her knees and stretch her out down my side; she latches on tightly, crying again.
“It’s okay, baby.” I don’t know how to comfort her in this situation.
I kiss her face over and over while telling her everything will be okay, but judging by her reaction, that may not be true.
*LUXE*
Stiffness set in and Ian had to move. It’d been an hour. Not knowing if she fell asleep, he adjusted so he could look into her face; she wasn’t sleeping and her eyes were drooping and swollen from crying.
“I have to get Karen home,” he whispered.
Lilith nodded slightly and her grip around him loosened. He stood and looked at the food she still hadn’t touched.
“Will you eat?”
She shook her head no.
“What can I do?”
With a scratchy, exhausted voice, she responded, “Nothing.”
Sighing, he left the room.
“Sup?” Ashley answered his call.
“Busy? I need you to come to Lily’s.”
“For what?”
“I have to take Karen home from work and I need you to stay with Lily.”
“What do you mean?”
“Can you come here, please?” he snapped with urgency.
Alarmed by his tone, she asked, “What’s going on, Ian?”
“Just get over here.” His phone beeped in his ear with an incoming text from Karen wondering where he was.
Waiting for Ashley to show up, he sat on the bed, softly stroking Lilith’s arm.
“I’ll be back, baby.”
Wondering who came into the house, Lilith moved her head to look at him, then she heard, “Ian? Lily?”
With a look of betrayal, she gasped, “You told her?” and began to cry again.
“No!” he quietly assured. “I didn’t tell her anything.”
“Why’d you call her?” she asked through the onslaught of tears.
“I’m not leaving you alone until you’re okay. I’m dropping Karen and I’ll be back over.”
Before Ashley entered the room, Lilith wiped her face and stopped crying. With the hopes she’d kiss him, he leaned toward her face, but she turned into the mattress. Ashley stood in the doorway completely confused and watched Ian kiss Lilith’s face with a huff then stand. She put her arms into a shrug, silently asking what was going on and the only explanation she got was he shook his head softly while walking out. Getting into the bed with Lilith, Ashley put her arm around her.
“Babe, what’s going on?” She stroked her hair.
Fighting hard to keep her tears at bay, Lilith lost them with a groan of anxiety and swiftly turned, burying her face in Ashley’s chest. A few emotions were running through Ashley and the first was she wanted to kill Ian because he must have hurt her. Knowing it wasn’t the time to push for answers, she held Lilith until soft snoring hums came from her. Ashley slipped from the room to try and call Ian, but he didn’t answer. A knock at the door startled her and she checked on Lilith before answering to Dr. Russo, the psychologist Ian employed for the girls of Luxe.
“She’s sleeping,” Ashley explained.
“I’ll wake her,” he said with a kind voice and softly knocked on the bedroom door.
Lilith sprung up with a yelp then began to scream for Ian. “Ian!” Her screams echoed through the house; Ashley rushed into the room, grabbing her.
“He’s not back yet. Hey, look at me, Lily, what’s going on?”
“I need Ian.” Her voice was shaken and desperate. Trembling, she got off the bed and looked around for her cellphone. “I don’t have my phone!” she said as if it were tormenting. “I have to talk to Ian!”
“I’ll call him!” Ashley blurted, fumbling with her phone.
“Lily, I’m Dr. Russo.”
Looking at him with confusion, she desperately said, “I need to talk to Ian.”
“Ashley will get him on the line and then I’d like to talk with you.”
Who he was or why he was there was a mystery, but she didn’t care at the moment, she only wanted Ian.
Walking into the room, Ashley softly said, “He didn’t answer, babe, but I text him.”
ASHLEY: Lilith needs you now!
The desolation on Lilith’s face scared her.
“Lilith, what is going—” She paused when her phone began to ring. “It’s Ian.” She pushed it at Lilith.
Walking toward the bathroom, Lilith answered, “Ian, I left my phone and my coat!” Anguish laced her words.
It was gut wrenching for him and trying to stay calm, he asked, “Where, baby?”
“I left it at the doctor’s office. I need my phone, Ian, I need it!”
When Ashley heard Lilith mention doctor office, she got sick with worry. Similar to Ian, her initial thought was something life threatening.
The need to help her made him feel like he was going crazy because he didn’t know how to chase away the hurt inside her.
“Where’s the doctor’s? I’ll get it.”
“When are you coming back? I need you here. I need you, Ian!”
He hated the despair in her tone; she sounded like she was going to completely lose it.
“I’m leaving work right now and I will drop Karen then stop by the doctor’s. Tell me where the office is, baby.”
“Michigan and Lake street,” she whispered.
“Okay I—”
“Ian,” she squeaked. “I need you here, please.” Her tones going from one desolate extreme to another gave him chills.
“I’m coming right now, baby. Listen to me, okay? I’m going to do that stuff and I’m going to bring food. I’m going to bring you you’re favorite: tortellini with pesto, medium-well strips, and a side of broccoli.”
A smile spread across her face as her body tingled.
“We’re going to sit down and relax and eat, then we’ll take a bath together and I’m going to read you the first chapter of that terrible book I bought you—” He paused to listen to her laugh. “Then I’m going to light some candles and warm up the that plum oil you like and I’m going to rub you down until you fall asleep. Sound agreeable?” He hoped she’d answer in a less despairing tone.
“Yeah, baby,” she whispered.
“I love you, beautiful Freyja, you know I love you more than anything. You know that, right?” he asked, waiting for an answer. “Lily?”
“Yeah,” she finally whispered. “Please hurry.”
“Give me two hours.”
Exiting the bedroom, she gave Ashley her phone, who stared, waiting for answers.
“Lily,” the doctor said in a soothing tone and she brought her eyes to him. “Hi.” He smiled.
“Hi,” she said cautiously.
“You want to step into the bedroom or your dining room? I just want to talk about what’s on your mind.”
“Um.” She glanced at Ashley. “We can step in here?” She walked into the bedroom.
“Do you mind if I close the door?”
“Please do.” She sat on the bed.
It pissed Ashley off that she was shut out. She called Ian again.
Being with Karen, he skeptically answered, “Hello?”
“What the fuck, Ian!”
she snarled. “Tell me what the fuck is going on! Tell me!”
“I’m taking Karen home, then I’m going to mom’s to help her with the garage door,” he said and Ashley growled, annoyed by his stupid games between the two women.
“What is wrong with her? Is there something wrong?” She demanded answers.
“No. We should have it fixed today. How’s Lily doing?” He softly smiled at Karen when her head jerked to look at him.
“You’re a fuckstick, Ian,” she mumbled and hung up, then paced the kitchen before deciding to make food.
Lilith had been in the room with the doctor going on an hour and when the door popped, Ashley quickly looked up from her plate, slowly standing.
The doctor turned to Lilith and put his hand on her shoulder, quietly saying something before turning to Ashley. “Have a good evening,” he said before exiting.
Ashley brought her attention back to Lilith, slowly approaching her. Lilith stood leaned against the wall, staring at the ground like an ashamed child.
“Okay.” Ashley carefully attempted to get answers. “I want to know what is going on.”
Lilith looked at her and pinched her bottom lip out of nervousness. “I fucked up.”
“Okay, but how?” Ashley remained calm and patient. “STD or something?”
“God, Ashley!” Lilith huffed, pushing her away so she could cross the room.
“Lilith.” Ashley’s worry was reaching extremes.
“I’m not on the pill.” She looked at her.
Ignorantly, Ashley questioned, “What pill?”
Lilith raised her eyebrows, staring at her, waiting for her to get it on her own.
“Lily, you’re—” Her mouth dropped open. “You’re tin roof is rusted!” she excitedly shouted, running to her. “What the fuck!” She dropped to her knees. “Oh my god!” she laughed, pressing her lips to Lilith’s stomach. “Baby,” she cooed at her stomach.
“Ashley, stop.” Lilith pushed her head away and stepped back. “Stop,” she said sternly when Ashley looked up at her.
“You have my brother’s baby in your belly, Lilith! Let me talk to it!” She laughed, reaching for her.
Lilith quickly dodged her and crossed the room. Maintaining eye contact, Ashley got to her feet while Lilith stood by the television, playing with her lip, letting her gaze drift to the carpet again.
With question and worry, Ashley asked, “This is a big fuck up, but exciting, right?”
Lilith silently stared at her for a few minutes then guiltily shook her head no.
Understanding began to sink in and she quietly asked, “You won’t be pregnant for much longer, will you?”
Lilith shook her head no again.
Annoyance took over her tone. “Was that Ian’s idea?”
“No!” Lilith didn’t want her to think he was pushing her to get an abortion. “He doesn’t know.”
“What doesn’t he know? He doesn’t know you’re pregnant?” Her deigning tone made Lilith frown.
“Yes, he knows that, but he doesn’t know I want an abortion.” The remorse she felt wasn’t enough to change her mind.
“Fuck, Lilith,” Ashley muttered, approaching her. Not having anything else to say, she pulled Lilith into her arms.
The embrace was calming, but it wasn’t as soothing as being in Ian’s arms.
Pulling away, Lilith stared Ashley dead in the eyes. “No one can know.” It was a whispered plea.
“I agree.”
Lilith had never seen Ashley so despondent looking. With their eyes still locked, she said, “I don’t want to acknowledge it.”
“The baby—”
“Don’t call it that!” Lilith groaned.
“It’s a fucking baby, Lily!” Ashley snapped with anger.
Lilith tried to fight back the tears, but she was defeated and stormed to the bedroom, slamming the door.
“Son of a bitch,” Ashley muttered and took a deep breath before going after her. Pushing the door open, she said, “Okay, we won’t acknowledge it. You can’t be that pregnant anyway, so it’s, like, barely alive or something.” Dismissing the life in Lilith’s stomach disgusted her. “We’ll act like this never happened and everything will be fine.” Sitting on the bed, she touched Lilith’s hair. “Okay?” As much as she didn’t agree with the abortion, she was fully aware it wasn’t her choice.
“I’m so stupid,” Lilith whimpered.
“You’re not stupid. Well you’re both stupid, but this shit happens.” She paused, then derisively muttered, “I don’t understand how because we all know how babies are made.”
“He’s been pulling out,” Lilith groaned.
“I don’t need those details. Lilith, this can happen even if he doesn’t come inside.”
“I know!” she snapped. “I know that and I was fucking stupid.”
“Yeah you were.” Ashley tugged her and Lilith eased into her arms. Changing the subject, she hoped Lilith would stop crying. “So Caesar developed the pictures. They’re still drying, but I’ll have them tomorrow. I want us to look them over together because I loved them all. Remember that room right off her barroom?”
Lilith nodded.
“They’re going in there.”
“The one where the light shines in through the huge windows?”
“Yeah, but she’s getting dark curtains and she’s making that the barroom.”
“With black and white photos?”
“Yeah, but the one of you in the red bikini, I think I’m going to do something different.”
Always interested in Ashley’s artistic ideas, Lilith smiled. “Like what?”
They were discussing the photographs when Ian rushed in. In his hands he had her coat, food, her phone, and flowers.
“So I’ll only sell it in threes,” Ashley finished her thought then stood. “I have to pick up Caesar from his new girlfriend’s house,” she grumbled, looking at her phone.
“He has a new girlfriend?” Lilith asked.
Ian stood in the kitchen, impatiently waiting for Ashley to leave.
“Yes, you have to meet her. He’s fucking obsessed and she’s not that great—”
“She’s fine,” Ian interrupted to rush her out.
Lilith looked at him. “You met her?”
“He wanted me to hire her,” he explained.
“Oh!” Ashley cringed. “Are you?”
He let out a chuckle. “No. She wouldn’t fit in.”
“She’s friends with that girl Heidi I love,” Ashley said to Lilith.
Ian’s eyes went to Ashley when he heard Heidi’s name.
“Oh, her, okay, I remember talking about them.” Lilith nodded.
“Yeah, remember this weekend we were all going to go to the club?” Ashley looked at her in question.
“Oh, right! Saturday. Yeah, come over Saturday and we’ll get ready together.” Lilith smiled.
“Okay.” Ashley hugged her. “Love you, bitch. Bye, cock,” she snottily said to Ian.
Ian looked at Lilith and smiled; she couldn’t look at him and he didn’t want to upset her so he remained silent and put their food out. They ate silently; he didn’t know what he could or couldn’t say without triggering her emotions.
Rinsing her plate, she called to him, “Thank you for the flowers and getting my things.” When she picked her phone up from the counter there was an alert that she had an unread text from Shaun; she was surprised Ian hadn’t read it.
SHAUN: I scheduled for that vacation we discussed. I would love to see you at the end of the month? I’m missing your eyes Lilith
With a small smile, she set her phone down.
“What’d the doctor’s office say?”
“They wanted to know if you were okay. They said you stormed out in a panic. I assured them I got you home and you were calmed down. You are calmed, right?”
“Don’t I appear calm?”
He approached her, putting his arms around her. “We’ll deal with all of this, baby. Everything will
be okay.”
When Ian said it, she thought maybe they were on the same page about the abortion.
“I know, and thank you for sending Dr. Russo.”
“I hope he helped.”
“He did. He’s going to help me find a doctor.”
“You don’t have one?” he asked, then she realized they were not on the same page.
“I mean an abortion clinic.” She took a step back from him.
With a sharp inhale his eyes widened. Lilith ignored it and walked to the bathroom. He was frozen in disbelief she wanted an abortion. He hadn’t thought of that option, he didn’t even realize that was an option.
His ringing phone startled him from his painful trance and when he saw it was Karen, he huffed. “Yes, Karen?”
“I don’t feel well, babe. I need you to come back over.”
“Call your sister. I’m with my mother. I won’t be home for a few more hours and I want a night to myself.”
“Why?” she protested.
“Because, Karen, we are not living together, we are not going to live together. I want my space still, just like before.” He was leaned over the countertop with his head in his hand.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “Will you pick me up for work?”
“Yeah,” he breathed dejectedly.
“I love you, babe,” Karen said.
As he replied with, “I love you too,” Lilith walked through the living room. He saw as her steps paused only for a split second. Her eyes closed briefly and she rushed to the bedroom before she started to cry; the door softly clicked behind her.
That was the last thing he wanted her to hear.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
As he slid his phone away from him, he noticed hers on the counter. The text from Shaun came through when Ian was driving from the doctor’s office. He saw Shaun had text, but he didn’t read it. Pushing a button to light the screen, it lit to the text. After reading it, he wished he hadn’t; he slammed his hand down onto the tile countertop.
“Lily,” he opened the bedroom door.
Naked, she was getting into the bed. When he saw her, he didn’t continue. It’d been too long since he’d seen her naked and there was no delay in an immediate erection.
Getting into the bed, she glanced at the clock: 9:12.
“I know it’s early, but I’m tired, baby,” she mumbled, putting her hand out, wanting him in the bed.