Descent From Grace: A Luxe Novella Book 1.5

by Frost, H. Q.

  His thought went unsaid.

  He commits to a fate forced by another’s hand

  I want to talk her out of the abortion, but I want to bury myself inside her too. I start unbuttoning my shirt. We can talk about the abortion later, right now I have to feel her, every inch of her.

  “You don’t want a bath?” I ask, getting into the bed.

  “No bath, no oil, just you.” She rolls onto me, pushing her lips to mine and it’s the desperate kiss. God, I love this kiss, but it hurts every time. Why does she have to do this to me?

  The friction from her just rubbing against me is going to make me come before I even get inside her. Able to feel how soaked she is for me makes me want to taste her, but I don’t want her off me because her body is pressed to mine and she’s warm, and soft, and feels like something I’ve been missing a long time. The rocking of her hips quickens and she’s pressing harder onto my massive erection.

  “I’m going to come,” she moans.

  With an approving groan, I wrap my arms around her and watch her beautiful face twist with pleasure until she slides me into her and my eyes unwillingly close. The thought of protection comes to mind because of our scare, but it wasn’t a scare, we’re pregnant.

  I fucking love this girl and I want her to have my kids and she wants to kill them! Fuck! My mind is going in the wrong direction and I’m getting soft. I try to focus on her body, her curves, the softness of her skin, the goose bumps over her thighs, but the thought she wants to kill what I gave her, what I put inside her, what we will raise to be ours won’t get out of my fucking skull.

  I let out a frustrated growl and still under her. When I slip out of her because I’ve gone soft, she stares down at me. I ruined an orgasm for her. The fucking orgasms I love, when she gushes around me and let’s me know only I do this to her. Fuck I’m getting hard again.

  I close my eyes a minute and open them to see her getting off me. There’s a silence between us and I can’t see her face. Putting my hands to my forehead, I try not to look as stressed as I am. And my fucking cock! It isn’t sure what it wants.

  She rolls toward me and she knows. She knows what’s interfering with our amazing sex, but she’s not saying anything. I just want her to tell me she’s going to have my child and I think I’ll be okay. When she gets out of bed, I’m left staring at the ceiling with my hands on my forehead. I hear the bathroom door close.

  Fuck, I want to scream, but I can’t. Instead, I throw a pillow off the bed and it hits the TV that’s ‘mounted’ to the wall making the TV come crashing down onto the fucking dresser. Lily comes out of the bathroom, looking at me like I’m insane and did that on purpose. I jump out of bed with a racing heart and a head as heavy as a boulder on my shoulders. I think I’ve officially gone insane.

  Frantically dressing, my shoes are on before I get my pants up all the way. I can feel her staring at me, but I can’t stop myself, I’m out the door before any other thought processes. I left the fucking mess, my shirts not buttoned up all the way, and I left Lily standing at the bathroom door.

  Letting myself focus for a minute, I realize I’ll be to my place in a few minutes and what I need is a workout. I need to fucking run until I can’t feel my legs.

  Running on the treadmill, my headphones are in and almost on full volume; I rarely workout on the treadmill, but I want to run away and I think if I do this time, I won’t come back.

  I can’t breath, I’m pouring sweat and my thoughts have me hurting. Bad.

  MY FREYJA: Please come home

  God, this woman does shit to me. Shit I’ve never experienced with another human being in my life. I feel guilty I’m not there with her, but how can I console her when she can’t console me? We want two very different things with our newfound problem and we both need support. I wonder if Ashley knows. If Lily told her she’s pregnant.

  I don’t shower, I don’t change, I walk out of the gym and head back to Lily.

  “Hey, dumb fuck,” Ashley answers the phone.

  “What’s with the hostility?” I mumble. I don’t need this shit, I need someone to tell me things will be okay.

  “What’s with knocking people up?” Okay, so she knows.

  “Yeah,” I huff. “I’ve really fucked up.”

  “Yeah you have. Think this is why she’s been a fucking nut job since we left Barbados?”

  “I fuckin’ hope so.”

  “Well lucky for you when she terminates, she should be back to her old self.”

  A fucking lump bulges in my throat, preventing me from talking. I think I might actually cry. I can’t be this upset over fixing such a huge mistake. I’m not going to fucking cry over this shit.

  “Ian?” she says after a few minutes and I clear my throat.

  “Yeah, all right.” That’s all I can think to say.

  “All ri-” I hang up before she finishes.

  In the driveway of the condo, as much as I want to go in, I don’t. I’m trying to calm down, not that I’m angry at her. I don’t think I am at least. I look back up to the condo and see a figure through the foggy blue tinted window and it’s not Lily. It’s not even a female. The car door flies open and I rush the front door, wanting to know who the fuck is in my house with my fucking fiancée.

  A male’s voice carries from the living room and it’s not Caesar. I didn’t see a car out there; I look once more before I close the door, just to be sure. Lily laughs in a way that makes anger fill me, because who the fuck is she laughing with like that? Rounding the corner, Sloan Mac is standing in my dining room. My eyes narrow and shoot from him to her and he looks just as surprised to see me as I am to see him.

  “Ian,” he says with a tone of incredulity.

  Lily comes to my side, putting her arm around my back and her other hand onto my stomach.

  “Why are you in my house?” I snap.

  “I was out jogging,” he says and I want to tell him he needs to go back out and jog a little farther away. “My aunt works at Lil’s doctor’s office and she told me everyone in the office thought something happened to her.”

  “Why the fuck are you in my house?” I repeat louder and he looks at Lily.

  “He got the address from his aunt.” Her hand rubs my stomach in a soothing attempt that does nothing to abate the anger of seeing a man I despise as much as Sloan.

  “I was just worried. This is actually a little amusing. I had no idea you two were—” He points back and forth between us.

  Lily clears her throat uncomfortably. “I thought it was you knocking, but it was Sloan,” she explains to me, but that doesn’t explain why she let him in.

  “I really don’t see the comedy in this. If you don’t mind, me and my fiancée are getting ready for bed.”

  “Oh absolutely, but uh, before I go, you two were fuckin’ when I was still fuckin’ her, weren’t you?” Now he’s being a prick and I know it upsets Lily because she shifts and grips my shirt.

  “Your fuck up pushed her into my arms. Leave my house before I physically remove you,” I say, pulling her closer, trying to sooth her.

  “Sure thing.” He’s wearing this grin I want to knock off his putrid face with my fist. “So.” He’s standing at the door and we’re right behind him when he turns and looks at us. “Does the whore say my name when she’s fucking you?”

  Lily gasps and everything happens too quickly. I punch him in the face and he tackles me to the ground. I’m fucking losing it; it’s not the best time to fuck with me. Rolling him to his back, I deliver blows to his face; right hook, left hook, right hook, left hook. Screaming, Lily pulls me off him with a forceful yank I’m surprised she had in her. Even though I’m pissed she broke it up, his bloody face brings me satisfaction and I’m almost positive I knocked out one of his teeth.

  Fuck me, this isn’t going to end well.

  Looking down at my throbbing hands, I see they’re covered in his blood. He got a good hit in before I flipped him; I can taste blood on my lip. Lily is kneeling o
ver him, trying to see if he’s still alive. The fucker’s alive. I didn’t concave his skull like I wanted to. He starts to move, trying to sit up and now I want her away from him so I get to my feet and yank her to stand, looking into her face. She has blood running from her nose.

  I spin her to face me and blurt, “Baby.” I had no idea she was hit.

  Sloan struggles to get to his feet, but I don’t give a fuck about what he’s doing, I want to know how she got hurt.

  “Ian!” she yells at me angrily as Sloan runs from the house, his blood trailing down the front steps. “You can’t let him go like that. He’s walking!”

  “Fuck him.” I lean to push the door closed.

  “Ian!”

  “Why the fuck did you let him in, Lily!” I scream at her and now I’m pissed again.

  *LUXE*

  Lilith took a startled step back, alarmed by his tone.

  “He wasn’t acting like that. He was cordial and I wanted to find out what he knew. I didn’t expect you to come home. You never responded to my text.”

  “Then what, Lily? Then what would have happened if I didn’t come home? You woulda fucked him?” The words spilled from his mouth like a roll of the dice. Luck was not on his side and she swung a fist at him, but he dodged it.

  When she stormed to the bedroom, he listened to the door slam, then heard it click as she locked it.

  “Lily!” he called out, running to the bedroom with the thought she was going to cut sucker punching him in the gut. “Lily!” he yelled her name again.

  Wasting no time, he ran to the garage for the toolbox to remove the handle to the door, but when he returned, the door was open and she was packing a bag.

  “Where are you going?”

  “My mom’s.” She zipped the bag. “I’ll get the rest of my stuff in a few days—”

  “Shut up.” He pulled her to him. “Don’t fucking say that. Don’t talk like this. Don’t say that shit.” His fear was evident in his rambles.

  “I will return the car tomo—”

  He shut her up by grabbing her face and kissing her. As much as she wanted to pull away, she couldn’t, she gave into him. The kiss was exactly what she needed to melt away the evenings stress and he didn’t stop kissing her until he was calmed down.

  Pulling away, he said, “You’re not leaving me.” His forehead pressed to hers. “You can’t leave me.”

  “We can’t keep doing this. This isn’t normal or how things work. You lied when you said I could do whatever I wanted as long as I let you keep Karen. You didn’t mean that and you will never keep your mouth shut when you should.”

  “I will! But over my dead body will you have anything to do with Sloan Mac!”

  “I would never fuck him again. When he showed up, things were friendly. I didn’t tell him about you and I’m assuming his dickhead attitude came from finding out it’s you that I’m with. He’s not stupid, Ian! He can put it together. I’ll never admit we were together when I was still with him, but he knows. I want nothing to do with him, especially after that, but, Ian, you hurt him badly. He could—” She paused a second. “I don’t know.” With a panic stricken look across her face, she looked around. “Collapse and get hit or something.”

  It killed him to say it, but he did. “Do you want me to go look for him?” He prayed she’d say no.

  “Yes!”

  Lowering his hands from her face, he asked her, “Are you okay?” and looked at her blood dried nose. “Did I do that to your nose?”

  “I don’t know who did it. Everything happened so quickly.” Delicately pushing her nose, she winced.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Please go see if he’s dead at the end of the driveway.”

  Pointing at her, he politely demanded, “Please unpack your bag.”

  “I need you right now, Ian. I need you here with me as much as you can be. Only for a little while. I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you can’t do this for me now, this will not work.”

  “I’m here for you, baby. I had to clear my head a little.” He stroked her face with his blood dried finger and stared into her hazy eyes. “I will be here with you.”

  She waited to hear the front door close before she unpacked her bag, then began to clean up the mess from the fallen, broken television.

  Like a drunk on a bender, Sloan stumbled down the street, completely disregarding the footpath as he incoherently staggered down the side of the road.

  With a quick swerve, Ian pulled in front of him and stopped the car. When he got out, Sloan stopped and threw his hand up.

  “Oh no. You stay away from me. Stay the fuck away.” Blood dripped from his face, and his mouth was so swollen his speech matched his stumble.

  Ian let out an annoyed growl and pulled his shirt off, balling it up and approached Sloan with it. Forcefully, he pressed it to Sloan’s mouth and when Sloan grabbed it, Ian took a step back. He didn’t want the bloody man in his car, but he didn’t have any other options.

  “Get in the car. Lily would feel better if I gave you a ride.” Ian was surprised when Sloan didn’t argue, but he was pouring blood and feeling lightheaded, so even he worried he might get struck by a car.

  Sloan muttered a few things into the shirt, but Ian ignored him. Cranking the heat, because he was shirtless and freezing, he turned up the music to drown Sloan out. When he pulled up to the apartment and silenced the music, he turned to Sloan.

  “Do you need medical attention?”

  “No.” His words were muffled by the shirt.

  “Stay away from her.”

  Pulling the shirt from his face, Sloan retorted, “You two stay away from me. I want nothing to do with that—” He abruptly stopped when he saw Ian’s eyes narrow in warning. “Don’t think for a second that I’m an idiot, buddy. I know she cheated on me with you.” He pushed the door open. “So fuck her and good luck to you two.” Throwing the bloody t-shirt into the front seat, he slammed the door and rushed into the building.

  Ian cringed looking at the blood soaked shirt, then looked around for a bag or something to dispose of the mess in.

  ***

  Lilith looked at him wide eyed. “Where’s your shirt?”

  “I gave it to Sloan and he bled all over it.” Disgust carried his words.

  “So you found him?”

  “I drove him home, baby, he’s fine.” He approached her, putting his hands on her arms.

  “Thank you. We could get into trouble, Ian, that’s the only reason I was worried.”

  “I know.” He kissed her forehead.

  Pushing herself into his arms, she softly pleaded, “Please don’t push me away.”

  “You’re the only person I’ve kept closest. I’m not pushing you away, baby.” He wanted to drop to his knees and beg her to reconsider the abortion. After a few minutes of peaceful silence, he said, “We have to talk.”

  Lilith exhaled deeply and pulled away, sitting on the bed while pulling the shirt she was wearing off and tossing it to him. He needed a shirt and after all, it was his t-shirt she was wearing. Her smell consumed him as he pulled it over his head and a warm feeling of calm slowed his pounding heart as he grabbed her a tank top from the drawer.

  “I’m bringing clothes tomorrow.” He looked at her with asking eyes and she nodded yes. “I love you, Lily, you understand that?”

  The conversation was already off to a bad start and she furrowed her brows.

  “Are you questioning my intelligence, Ian?”

  “I’m asking if you understand how much I love you.”

  “Not entirely, or perhaps I do but you like to make me wonder if it’s more than I think.”

  “It is more than you think. I understand your apprehension in all of this, but this packing your bag and trying to leave shit isn’t going to fly.”

  That wasn’t the route she thought he was going and it made her smirk with a soft chuckle.

  “It’s you and me until the end. That’s what that ring means. And I want to b
e married by the end of this month and that’s what that’ll mean. No matter how long Karen is in my life, she will never be more important to me than you are.”

  Taking a chance, she said, “Then get rid of her.”

  “If that’s what you want, it’s done. If I do that, will you keep the baby?”

  “No, Ian!” She couldn’t stress enough how much she didn’t want the baby. The pain weighing heavily in his eyes had hers filling with tears and her voice cracked when she said, “I can’t.”

  He saw what she couldn’t articulate.

  “Because of Karen?” he quietly asked.

  “Because I’m not ready.” She grabbed his hand and refusing to acknowledge the fetus as a baby, she asked, “Are you going to leave me if I don’t keep it?”

  “No.” He sat on the bed, holding her hands tightly. “I’m not, baby,” he said in an assuring voice. “I just—” His gaze shot around the room. “This is something we made. This is ours.”

  Unable to take those words, she pushed her finger to his lips and actually begged him, “This is nothing. It doesn’t even have a heartbeat. Please don’t make it a human being, please.”

  “There’s nothing I can do?”

  “Ian,” she breathed, lowering her head. “I’m too young, we’re too new, the timing is all wrong.”

  “You want to have my children, don’t you?”

  “God, Ian.” An annoyed laugh huffed from her mouth as she put her head in her hand. “I can’t talk about this now. Let’s talk about it after I’ve gotten used to you being my husband and you having a girlfriend.”

  With his eyes trained on the red comforter, he said, “Promise me you won’t have anything to do with Sloan. I can sit by for someone else if I have to, but not Sloan Mac.”

  “I want nothing to do with him, I promise you. If you want to know who I see, who I fuck, I will inform you, but if you ever accuse me again, I won’t stand for it.”

  “I figured as much. You tried to knock me out.” He smirked.

  Not humored by her abuse, she frowned and put her hand to his face, embarrassedly saying, “I’m sorry. I will never hit you. I promise you that.” On her knees, she began kissing his cheek over and over. “I slapped you the other day and I’m so sorry. I will never hit you again, baby, I promise you. I need to get this taken care of.” Her gaze flit down to her stomach. “This is what’s gotten me in such a rage and depressed. I know you want me to keep this, but please don’t try and change my mind.”