by Falon Gold
“You’re a welcomed addition to the family and it’s disturbing,” he inputted.
“Yes. I don’t like when people change.”
“What about when it’s a good change? Do you want me to make them feel bad about treating you like shit years ago?”
“I never know when people change for the good because they rarely flip in that direction and oh God no, don’t cuss anybody out!”
Imagining Tommy speaking his mind to Chance’s family horrified me. Their mistreatment was years ago. If I had held a grudge, it was well past time to let it go, at least for Majestic’s sake. Grudges made for tension neither she or I needed.
“People change all the time, Mahogany. That’s why we take chances on them or take off running when shit goes bad or gets worse. Sometimes, they surprise the hell out of us by changing for the good though, and let me know if you change your mind about me having a word with his folks. Delivering a good cussing out is a stress reliever for me and that’s always free. Won’t ever change. Now, what about Chance? What did he change up?”
“I don’t know if he changed up or if he changed back to the Chance I knew and loved.”
“You still do know and love him, and of course he’s changed; it’s been three years. Change is hourly these days, but him being a man you can stand is good in my book.”
“Not good. He’s trying to get over me.”
Tommy rocked to the side as if I had swung at him. “With what I just saw, it’s more like he’s was trying to get something out of you, literally. Dude was damn near sucking your spine out through your mouth.”
“What did you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Tommy!”
He pushed the sack into my stomach. “All I know is I stopped by with lunch as promised. The container with mac-n-cheese is Majestic’s, but if you take a few bites of it for yourself, I won’t tell her. Anything else you need to hear needs to come from Chance.”
Suspicious, I took the food with a pinch of Tommy’s good soul from his hands. “Thank you, Tommy… for everything, even keeping secrets. I know you know something.”
“There you go with thanking me for everything. Don’t thank me. Just be happy and pleasssse come back to work.”
“I’m trying to do both, but…”
“But what?”
“It’s hard to explain. One is easier to do than the other at this point. I should be back at work by next week. Have to come back anyway. Money is running out. Majestic should be home by tomorrow. I can ask Chance how long he’ll be here and if he can babysit until Mrs. Kindleton isn’t laid up with her broken hip. Regarding being happy, this is the hard part I think I just have to accept that happy comes in a different form for me.”
“Which is?” He leaned against the BMW’s hood, with me following suit.
“Happy is… whatever’s working out in my life at the time.”
“That’s not different, it’s the same for everyone, but you don’t just have to wait for life to throw you a bone either. Some things can be fought for and won.”
Could I fight for Chance like I fought for Majestic? Why was he the first thing to come to mind to put my dukes up for now? Should I? Would he even want me to?
“Will I have to swing on someone for Chance like you did for Kat?” I joked, lightening the mood weighed down with questions I can’t answer.
He puffed air out his mouth in a condescending fashion. “Girl, don’t even try swinging on nobody. Your right cross ain’t shit like mine.”
“Do you think that because I’m a girl? Because if you do, I’m offended.”
“No, I think that because I haven’t taught you how to fight and you’re more laidback than anybody I damn know. There’s no way in hell you can fight. Quick lesson: if you have to punch a bitch, which comes in girls and guys, wrapped your thumb tightly around your second and third knuckle, not inside them. When you reach out, keep your arm level with your shoulder, chin down. Make contact with your center knuckle. Never punch someone anywhere on the skull. That includes the forehead in case you didn’t know. Quick way to break your hand. If you knock Chance’s ass out, we never had this conversation. He thinks we’re friends and he’ll feel betrayed when he learns I told you how to beat him up. When there’s a ring on your finger, then he and I will be real friends. Don’t tell him that though. People love me, and he might use marrying you to get to me. I gotta go before his fam shows up at my business, though. Call me if you need anything.”
I hugged him tightly before he got away. He embraced me back.
“Everything’s going to work out for you, Mahogany. I can feel it.”
“I hope so, Tommy.” But I wasn’t counting on it.
My slice of good luck with Chance had probably fizzled out when Majestic received what she needed from him.
When I released Tommy, he glanced back with a self-satisfied smile as he walked away. I wondered what did he know about Chance that I didn’t, but I wasn’t going to get it out of him if he didn’t want me to. Chance on the other hand, was giving out mixed signals, but if I ever discovered there was a real opportunity for us to reconcile, there definitely was going to be a fight put up to make us a couple again. Still, I had to keep in mind that us being a couple again might not be possible. I’d have to let him go, and it was going to have to be soon too. The more he was around, the more I wished for the things he was tempting me with just by being in touching distance and acting like his old self.
Then you better start weaning yourself off him now, Mahogany. Anymore of him in your bed or against a wall and seeming like the old Chance, and you’re gonna put your dukes anyway. So, I needed to keep my heart and hopes locked down, except both were slippery as shit to handle and had minds of their own.
Chapter Thirteen
~Chance~
Mahogany came back inside with a perturbed expression, but I was proud of her for showing up when I had given her an easy out. Majestic screeched ‘Mommy!’ like Cena was trying to kidnap her, except they both were grinning from ear to ear. Mahogany slipped through the crowed unmolested. Once she reached Cena’s side, Majestic dived for her mother.
Mahogany giggled and caught our daughter to her chest. “I bet you smell the food in the sack, don’t you, baby girl? Let me get you on the bed and then I’ll feed you the mac-n-cheese Uncle Tommy sent you.”
“No fries?” Majestic questioned.
“No fries, munchkin,” I jumped in, sliding next to Mahogany on the bed. “But I guarantee the mac-n-cheese is good. Mahogany, I’m gonna go with my family to Tommy’s and give you a break from everyone. I’m not sure if everyone is coming back here today or this evening, but they will be back, so prepare while we’re gone. I’ll try to keep them away as much as possible and bring back something for you to eat. Just one more day, love, and things will settle down.”
When Mahogany’s forehead wrinkled up, I recognized that I’d forged too far ahead in my plan to reunite us again with the pet names. So much for easing her into the rest of our lives. She’d catch on to what I had in mind for us in no time. I pecked both girls on the forehead and got the hell out of there. My father had to practically carry my thick glasses-wearing great-grandmother out the hospital. She struggled by throwing elbows and threatening to kick his ass as he pleaded, “Rashi Patel, we’re coming right back, I swear. Everyone else is hungry. Stop jabbing me in my ribs dammit.”
The woman had osteoporosis, weighed as much as a small bird, and shouldn’t be that damn stubborn. Better my father than me tussling with her.
I led the buses to the restaurant. Tommy greeted us himself then took charge, making sure there was enough room for everyone, their orders placed correctly, delivered promptly, and cups refilled before they were empty. By the time an hour had passed, I felt like I was detoxing. Mahogany and Majestic were too far away, my relatives enjoying themselves too much to speed up with eating and risk indigestion. Their chatter filled the building. I sipped from my iced tea in front of an uneaten plat
e as my knee bounced under the table. Any minute now, I was going to leave everybody here. It wasn’t like they were going to be stranded.
My father’s hand plopped down on my kneecap, stilling the nervous tick. “I got one question, son.”
“What, dad?”
“Have you gotten over being a killer yet?”
“More like accepted it. I still think I’m a killer, but I would love to have another baby with Mahogany… if I can convince her I’m not a bastard all the time, just some of the time. When I flew in to Colorado, I started pointing fingers immediately like I’d done nothing wrong to Mahogany, and demanding she give me everything I wanted from her as if she owed me something.”
“I can imagine how you felt when she called and said you had a child who was dying, but your broken heart and ego, both a man’s downfall by the way, had a lot to do with your finger pointing and the debt you wanted paid. I’m sure payment had nothing to do with money either.”
He shouldn’t know any of that. I cocked my head sideways, wondering how did he know.
He cocked his head too. “Son, even a blind man can see you’re still in love with Mahogany, but your family could tell you never stopped loving her. Love turns into an ache when it’s unreturned, so it’s natural to look for a painkiller. Sometimes, we do it in the stupidest of ways, but now that Mahogany knows you would drop everything and literally part a vein for your children, I’m sure she thinks you’re less of a bastard and more of a good guy who can be forgiven for losing his head in the face of what could’ve turned out to be a tragedy while you were already suffering through another tragedy: your heart wanting what it couldn’t have. Your little girl is still on this side of heaven thanks to you, so that makes you a savior and a real parent. I’m sure your heart isn’t as broken as it was now that you can touch what it desires. And I bet you’ve been doing a whole lot of touching.”
“And healing, finally. Only one thing wrong with what you said though. We saved Majestic, Mahogany and me together, what we should’ve always been. It had to be a difficult decision to call me after I made her feel like she was on her own with our baby. I didn’t make things easier for her when I got here…I shouldn’t have to save my own children.”
“Chance, what the hell do you think parents are for? To save their children who sometimes don’t want to be saved depending on the age. Teenagers bring on the real drama. They don’t call parenting the hardest job in the world for nothing. I need you to know that every parent has the same nightmare of losing their children whether their kids are perfectly healthy or not. Nobody is perfectly healthy though, and there’s a thousand ways for us all to die suddenly. Have faith in yourself. You two have already saved Majestic once and I bet you could do it again and again without breaking a damn sweat. Me, however, I lost my shit every time you sneezed because I didn’t have what it took to cure your cancer and still don’t know what I’d do if it came back and I lost you. Imagine Mahogany in my shoes, and there probably isn’t a number for how many times she wanted to call you for support. To tell you that you were a father. It would’ve been worse in the middle of the night for her when there was nothing to distract her from thinking about the things she had done wrong or could’ve done differently, better, or couldn’t change.”
That gave me pause. I took none of that into consideration when I got to Colorado. How many times had both my girls needed me and I wasn’t there? How crushed did Mahogany feel when she was told she couldn’t give Majestic what she needed? Felt alone before and after cancer raised its ugly ass head? And I couldn’t even call Mahogany back to tell her I was on my way, too busy wallowing in my own misery. Then when I got here, I demanded she pacify my ego. The list of things to make up to Mahogany was growing and I had yet to make a dent in it.
With perfect timing, Tommy approached with a carryout tray in a sack for Mahogany. I jumped up from my seat.
“I gotta go, dad.”
Tommy frowned, while giving me the bag. “Is there a fire under your ass, Chance?”
“Yep.”
“Good.” Then Tommy walked away, knowing all he needed to know I guessed.
Before I could take one step away from the table, my father grabbed my forearm. “Wait, son. I know you and Mahogany have a lot to talk about and I just wanted to say that I know you’ll need to get back to your business in Utah soon, so spending as much time as you can with your new family, together and individually, is a must. If you need some time with Mahogany right now and a babysitter, I’m sure your mother would be glad to stay at the hospital overnight. Or your great-grandmother. Sister. Aunts. Cousins. I’d do it but I need my beauty rest. Chairs don’t provide that, but I can solicit a babysitter for you like a pro. In-laws are good for that if nothing else.”
“Majestic sleeps through the night.” I was too damn troubled to laugh at his joke and certainly needed one on one time with Mahogany.
“Majestic likes her beauty rest, too, huh? It’s good to know she has something in common with her grandfather.”
“I’ll ask Mahogany is she good with mama babysitting or great grandma, whoever Mahogany’s comfortable with the most.”
“Yeah, that would be Cena. I liked Mahogany too, but I sleep with your mother and I like sleeping with your mother, so I chose to keep Mahogany at arm’s length while Dania was looking. But when she wasn’t looking, which isn’t often, I sneaked and talked to Mahogany. Dania still found out about the two short conversations we had, and I paid dearly for them.”
I felt just as bad for him as I did for me: making an enemy of my mother was not the thing to do. Since she was my mother and I didn’t sleep with her, I continued to date Mahogany until she no longer wanted to date me. Or at least that’s what I thought was the case. To learn she’d only been protecting her child’s heart was a game changer. She’d have mine to protect too if I had anything to say about it.
“Mama does seem to know every damn thing that happens, doesn’t she?”
“Right, so cover my ass and mention Dania first as a babysitter to Mahogany, then Cena. I’m too old to be getting divorced now.”
“I’m sure mama feels the same, dad.” Who wanted to start over at fifty-five?
He sat back in his chair, tilted his head back, then closed one eye. “Son, Dania better love me too much to ever let me go. I put up with your great grandmother for your mama, so damn settling for me, I want Dania’s undying devotion.”
“You got it, Lenox, damn!” my mother shouted down the table around a mouthful of crab meat. “Now, let your son go get Mahogany’s devotion. Oh, and I’m babysitting, not Cena.”
“Mama, not fair,” Cena protested across from her.
My father winked. “Don’t forget about covering my ass, son. Dania first. Cena second. What happens from there is not on me and I stay out of the dog house.”
I patted his shoulder in ‘I got you’ fashion, then jogged to my car.
Astonished that I didn’t get a speeding ticket on the way to the hospital, I raced inside to where Mahogany was just laying a dozing Majestic down for a nap. As soon as our daughter was on the bed with her fist propped under her chin sweetly, Mahogany yelped as I spun her around to kiss the ever-loving shit out of her, after I dropped her lunch tray on the bed with Majestic.
Mahogany and I should be talking, but spitting out words was the last thing on my mind, the first was relieving the withdrawal symptoms presently whipping my ass. She was my habit, my drug of choice. The closer I was to her, the worse the symptoms got, but I had nowhere private to lay her down. Swallowing her essence in semi-private would have to be a temporary fix. She was currently sucking on my bottom lip, driving me insane as I palmed her ass with both hands.
“I don’t have to feel you right now, Mahogany, but I need to at least taste you. Are you with me?”
She released my lip to evil-eye me. “I am not going in the janitor’s closet with you, Chance.”
“What about the bathroom?”
She peered around me at
the connecting door to the en suite bathroom rarely used and came with a lock. “That works.”
I slung her up into my arms and hauled ass to the other side of the door, locking it. Setting her on her feet in front of the sink, I dropped to my knees. She watched as I pulled her panties down oh-so-slowly, stuffing them in my back pocket before lifting one of her toned thighs over my shoulder. Her nostrils flared just before I flipped her dress over my head, then had my way with her. Stifling her moans and groans with a hand towel, she coated my chin with her orgasms, begging for me to stop. Only when I heard someone say, ‘She’s going to be pissed,’ in the other room did I stand up, then pulled her close. I was revolving in her orbit now and wanted to stay there.
“I’m not done with you, Mahogany. I only just started with getting you off. To work on that some more, I need you to myself tonight, and we need to have a serious talk. Mama’s volunteered to babysit and she knows why, so we can’t even play off what we’re going to be doing half the time.”
She straightened the collar of my polo shirt like someone who cared would, maybe not even aware she was doing it. “Okay but I don’t want to be gone long though. Dr. Blane says he should be releasing Majestic around nine. We’ll leave about three tonight, but I want to be back by seven. Majestic should be passed out during the time we’re gone.”
“I love it when you come up with a plan, woman.”
I expected her to put up a bigger fight about my mother being left alone with Majestic, but I guess I did a good job of assuring her that Majestic would always be in good hands with my mother, even when my mother hadn’t taken care of Mahogany’s feelings.
“You love plans anyway, Chance.”
“You know me so well.” Smacking on her on the lips gave her a taste of her own essence.
“One day, I hope to,” she mentioned quietly, suddenly shy.
We had grown a lot as well as apart while apart, and the differences in us needed to be addressed.